003 - Confidence is key

The meet-and-greet was on Saturday, two days from now, you would think with how close it was I would be panicking but somehow I was calm. As I washed up the remaining dishes from my dinner I saw the reflection of the umbrella in the window, there a was a sense of happiness, calm and comfort emanating from it. The same comfort I felt the night that Jongdae fell asleep on me. 

After my nap, I had calmed down a lot, texted Jangmi the notes and lecture and talked to about Saturday.  She was the most nervous, wondering what to wear and bring so that they would remember her, eventually, she decided to write a letter for each member and what they had done for her so they would know. It was a great idea, EXO had helped me a lot through the years and I could have a chance to tell them about it. Pulling a stack of paper, a pen, and a hardcover book from my desk went and sat down at the small couch I owned. Not the best for my already horrible posture but more comfortable which would allow me to write my feelings out sincerely.

Being my bias Jongdae was first, I was sure enough that he wouldn't remember me so I wouldn't feel embarrassed about pouring my emotions out onto the page but I was finished as quickly as I started. 

On the page were 10 numbers, the ones that made up my telephone.  

What on Earth was I doing? 

A small smile spread across my face, to sign off I wrote 'your comfy pillow' and lifted myself off the couch, marching toward the umbrella perched on the wall.

"It's time to think like Jangmi and do something a little crazy," I mumble, stuffing the note into the black folds. My hand hesitates, the thought of yanking it back out and throwing it in the trash blaring like a fire alarm in my head but I'm not calling the firemen tonight. Clenching my fist I wander back to the couch, not looking back and finish the rest of the letters, going late into the night I fall asleep, pen in hand.

---

"Yumi! We're late, get your lazy up!" a familiar voice yells tearing the blanket off of me, "why are you sleeping on the couch? You do know you own a perfectly good bed, right?"

Stretching out, muscles tense from being so cramped on the couch, "oh really? Never knew, thanks for the info Jangmi I'll make sure to remember." I yawn, swinging my legs over and forcing myself to stand. "What are we late for exactly?"

"Sir moved the Korean lecture to 10 instead of 4 today, didn't you get my text?" the smaller one sighs, pushing me to my bathroom. " Get a shower, make it quick, you stink. I'll lay out some clothes for you." So much information in the morning meant my already slow brain had pretty much come to a stop, like a zombie I did what I was told.

---

"This really isn't my style," I mumble, trying to pull the tiny dress, which I swear I had when I was 12, down as much as I could,  "where did you even find this?"

"In your wardrobe honey, you look cute stop fiddling and look around you" Jangmi giggled, slapping my hand away, "every guy on campus is looking at you"

"Yeah, cause I look like a complete idiot," giving up on trying not to show my to the whole world I look around like she said. Despite being so early these guys sure did seem very awake, and very much aware of me. I glance over at Jangmi, I'd always loved how well she pulled off her style, a mixture of cute and grunge that suited her perfectly, I would be lying if I hadn't ever thought of trying it but I never had the confidence. confidence or not I was forced into it and I'm pretty sure I didn't pull it off as well as her.

As I struggled with the skirt Jangmi stopped.

"Look, Yumi. You have an amazing body, I know you wanna try a style like mine I've seen you try my stuff in the mirror when you think I'm not there." 

At this, I felt my cheeks turn red in embarrassment, 

"I was just--"

"No excuses, turn around and look in that window, look at yourself and see how good you look. You have all the stuff you just don't wear it.  Everyone else sees it but you don't." 

I do as I'm told, she may be small but she's scary. 

The outfit was really quite plain. A black slip dress with black lace detailing paired with black Doc Martins and a green Chanel side pack that my mum bought me for my 19th birthday.  Jewelry was a simple gold necklace,  hair tied back in a high pony, a strong brow and the boldest thing on me was a red lip. 

It was plain but something I never wore.

Plain...but something that was allowing me to gain confidence the more I looked.

"You like what you see eh?" Jangmi smirked, "Shoulders back, head up. You are Kim Yumi. You can do anything. Including give that umbrella back to the boy you stole-- I mean borrowed it from."

I turned so fast I swear I should have gotten whiplash, "how the hell do you know about that?!" I cry.

" I knocked over the umbrella and the paper fell out, sorry babe. " Jangmi laughed nervously, "not like you to be so bold and put your number, what a bold pillow you are!" she cackled, running off. I admired myself once more before running after her.

---

After the lecture I said goodbye to Jangmi, hoping to talk to the professor about the lesson.

" Sir," I call from the stands, "can I talk to you about the lesson, if you're not too busy?"

"Yeah, of course, Yumi, but please call me Jin, I don't like how old I sound when you guys say sir, I'm still young you know," Jin smirked, settling on the side of his desk.

"Is that why you dyed your hair blonde? To make you younger?." I ask, cocking my head to the side, a similar smirk crossing across my face. Jin quirked an eyebrow, letting out a small chuckle.

"Perhaps," he replied, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair, "we all wanna feel our best and look good. My hair is one example, your change of style today is another. You're the most confident I've seen since we met, it's great." I bite my lip as I feel myself turn red.

"Thank you Si--Jin, means a lot you know? Now, " I slide into his chair and open my notes, "what the hell does this mean?"

Jin chuckles, pulling a chair up and begins to explain.

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A/N

I've been so busy and honestly haven't had the motivation to write, I'm learning how to form a story. Not gonna lie, I'm scared no one will like what I write. I'm trying my best to become better and hope that you will enjoy while I do.