Spaces - James Young

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I miss your face I haven't seen it in a while I started to wonder how we drifted all these miles away and I wake up in the middle of the night  from a bad dream but the only nightmare is this reality

We met the same day we talked. 
It would be a lie if I said there's not a bit of hope and expectations in me. 

Hope that she wants to see me because she misses me. And Expectation like here we go again, she's going to crush my hopes again. 

And I was right,

She did crush my hopes again. And she made sure I won't recover. 

"I want to personally give this to you." 

The brunette handed her a pink envelope and Taeyeon isn't dumb to know what envelope it was. 

Her heart felt like it stopped, her breath hitched it was like the world suddenly ended in front of  her eyes. Her body froze from shock? From pain? Or maybe both. 

The first thing that comes to her mind was "Why?" 

why are you doing this to me? 

Her lips was trembling but she doesn't want the woman in front of her to see that she was crumbling inside 

She unconsciously blurted out the why, causing Tiffany to swallowed the lump in and obviously suppressing her tears before speaking, before letting out the words she had kept for years. 

"Because you are special to me Taeyeon-ah." 

Taeyeon would have smiled at the soft tone that Tiffany used on her name on other occasions, but right now all she's feeling is pain. More than anything. 

"You were there when I was broken, you picked up the pieces of me and you put it back. You loved me with all I am and accepted me for who I am. That's why I'm giving you this." 

Taeyeon shooked her head, she cannot fathom what Tiffany was saying, all she understand was that Tiffany is getting married to someone. Someone that's not her. 

"I - I want you to be there so I can look at you when I say my vows..."

Taeyeon stood up and wiped the tears that adorns her pale face. 

"I wish you all the best things in life Tiffany. But please don't hurt me anymore." 

Before Taeyeon can walk away the brunette woman held her arm 

"I'm sorry Tae, but I would be forever grateful if you would come." 

But that didn't stopped Taeyeon from walking away. 

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How I wish she doesn't have to put me in this situation again. She doesn't have any idea that God knows how long I've tried to heal and mend my broken heart that she crushed and left at the gutter. How much effort I've made just to give life again to the flower that she drowned in tears, in pain, in sadness. 

After that meeting we had, I've left her in that cafe. I've come to the realization that even though how much time has passed, my heart never truly learned its lesson. It was still stubbornly beating for her. The things she told me still left me in confusion, why would she say something like that? But nevertheless she still have the audacity to give me her wedding invitation when she knows I was her ex. Her ex that was still very much in love with her no matter how I deny it. 

It hurts, but with the last ounce of dignity in me 
I will not attend her wedding 

Her wedding with someone else

No matter how much I love her

But at the same time I don't want to live in regret

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Last chapter coming up! 

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