In a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things. The bad things. The mundane things. All of it. All the time. Everyday. You're saying, your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.

-- Shall we Dance

---

Mino arrived at their apartment complex at around 9 in the evening. The date with Yi-soo ending early just as he anticipated. The short walk towards the building was usually uneventful until he saw a familiar figure sitting on one of the park benches.

Jinwoo was all by himself, staring at the river in front of their building. The older man rarely went out of his room. More so on his own at this hour. Something was definitely amiss.

Perhaps this is my chance, the rapper thought.

"Mind if I join you?" Mino asked. Jinwoo's eyes widened in surprise at the sudden intrusion.

He looked at his unwanted guest and when he recognized who it was, his face fell.

"I was about to leave anyway" he replied coldly about to get up.

"Hyung, stay" the rapper pleaded as he grabbed Jinwoo's wrist. The older man stared at Mino's hand as he debated whether to give in or leave.

"Please" his bandmate said again.

After what seemed like ages, Jinwoo sighed and returned to his seat. 

--

Minutes passed without a word. The rapper scrambled for what to say and the courage to speak up.

"Hyung?" he said finally.

"Yes?" Jinwoo answered icily.

"I'm - I'm" Mino stuttered. The rapper paused and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry" he finally whispered.

Jinwoo didn't respond and continued to look at the river in silence.

Waiting.

"I  - I was lazy. I thought, well you know, I thought it was suppose to be easy. To feel good all the time. But - but I had it all wrong"

He then went on to explain the past months. Speaking honestly of his dates and the reflections from Seunghoon's little exercise.  

"We're never really thought how to love in school and it's not exactly a topic we discuss with our parents. We just learn by doing it and failing at it" he said.

"Not that I'm an expert now but I definitely know better than I did before." he continued. "I don't expect you to quickly forgive me or to trust me. But I want you to know that I want to try again. Do better. Fight for this if - if you'd let me."

When Mino had finished, he stared desperately at the man beside him. The rapper took in a deep breath and waited as Jinwoo sat silently.

He could hear the older man's heavy breathing as the minutes passed.

"I did the note taking thing too" Jinwoo finally uttered.

"Seunghoon-a made me do it. That schemer" Jinwoo said with an awkward laugh.

"But - well it wasn't really a log of dates. I didn't really date" he said. The rapper smiled back sheepishly.

"You could say they were more insights and reflections of what you said that night. How I kept taking. That really stayed with me" Jinwoo explained.

"And you were right. I mean we both misunderstood love. I guess I unconsciously thought love was all about - well - me. How my partner could love and serve all my emotional needs." Jinwoo said softly.

"I owe you an apology too Mino-ya"

Mino grinned as he heard his pet name again after so long.

"When you were gone, it hit me. Rather than facing and handling any difficult emotion, I would run away from them. Avoid them through games and dramas. Before, I could dump them on you and expected you to fix things. Make me feel more confident. Happier. Everything. When you were gone, I realized I couldn't. Didn't know how. And that's something I really need to figure out on my own"

Jinwoo fell silent again.

"But you're right about love. We're all still learning but also messing up. I mean you're not born knowing how." he continued.

"You think this was Seunghoon's plan along?" Mino asked with a grin. Jinwoo laughed.

"Probably, I hate to admit it but he does have his moments" his hyung answered.

Mino swallowed and repeated his question earlier, "hyung, what do yo say? can we try again?"

"Even if I'm still a mess?" 

"We're always going to be works in progress hyung. I'm no better. Let's sort things out together"

"I don't know. What if we make the same mistakes?" Jinwoo asked.

Mino reached out to hold his lover's hand. He grinned when Jinwoo held his hand back.

"We will keep making mistakes. That I guarantee. It will persist. Selfishness. Restlessness. We're human after all. But we know a little better now. We'll handle those better" Mino replied with a strong steady voice.

"We can't stop ourselves from loving each other just because we're afraid to make mistakes" he finished.

The older man looked long and hard at his lover.

"When did you become so mature?" Jinwoo teased. The rapper bursted out laughing.

When the laughter had died down, the pair smiled and gazed silently at one another.

With hands still clasped, shoulders side-by-side, they spent the rest of the evening staring at the river.

Teasing one another. Catching-up. Laughing. Sitting in comfortable silence. Processing the past months. Talking the hard truths.

There were no empty promises of happily ever after. They knew love was never the absence of doubts, problems, or pain. When you put two imperfect and flawed people together, nothing is ever simple nor easy.

But they also knew love endures and flourishes in the face of adversity.

Their love would always win.

---

From a distance, Seunghoon stared at his friends. He looked down and smiled at his companion.

"Come on Haute. Let's go home. Our job here is done" 

 

END

 

 

Author's notes: In case any of you are wondering, the boys won't be moving back together anytime soon. Mostly because SeungSeung would kill them but also because I think they each need the space to sort themselves out.

And Seunghoon wasn't stalking. He was walking Haute and happen to catch the boys. ;P