I never thought that love can be so painful.

The thing is, you showed me that you care, you showed me the things that I’ve been dreaming, fantasizing or even romanticizing for years.

Is it just my imagination? Do you really care about me?

Because to be honest, I don’t know what to think anymore.

This push and pull relationship that I have with you is so painful that I don’t want to be in it anymore, but I love you more than anything else that I’d rather be in pain than to lose you.

You want us be hidden. I don’t know why but we go through dates that only both of us knew. I can’t tell this to anyone or you’ll get mad. I can’t brag it to any of my friends because you don’t want them to know………that we actually have a thing.

You always say that you want privacy, and you don’t want rumors spreading around, not wanting to be involve in any gossip around our company. But why?

I don’t think that there will be a problem if everyone knew that we’re dating?

We’re dating right?

Because it’s been 5 months now and it’s getting worse.

You don’t want us to be seen in public places, you only want me to be at your place when your roommate is not around.

I can’t bare this anymore.

The most painful part about this is that I don’t know what we really are.

“Jimin, what are we?” I asked.

Your facial expression went serious, the smile that you are wearing awhile ago is now gone. “Winter, Let’s not talk about this now. Please.”

My heart clenched at the answer you gave me. It’s always the same answer.

For how long would you keep me?

_________

slow update ahead 

- K