'cafe.daum.net/Rateen' 

I stare at the text message that Jonghyun sent me, not knowing why he sent me a website that is called 'Rateen'? Which website has that kind of name? Still, I decide to check the website out. 

'Hi there, you must be new' is a message sent to me from someone called 'Key' when I created an account and joined the club. 'Rateen' is created for people like me, I realise, when I look through the website. But how did he know that I am new?

'How did you know that I am new?' I ask him dumbly. 

'I just knew.' is his reply after a few seconds. Wow, he must have mad typing skills. 

'Take down my contact number, you might need them.' is what he say after we chat for a while. I hesitate for some time before grabbing a black pen and a piece of paper, scribbing down his contact number when he gave me those numbers. My fingers run and press the buttons of the keyboard frantically.

Hours pass by in the blink of an eye, and I neglect my stinging eyes to know 'Key' more. 

'Remember, delete your browser history. You wouldn't want your family members to find out.' The words linger and echo in my mind. Weird how I do everything he says obediently.  

Delete your browser history. 

Over time, I have developed a routine: eat with family members, spend time with them at certain times so they wouldn't be suspicious (I've learnt this trick from 'Key'), go to 'Rateen' in secrecy and chat with 'Key' until night time, then delete my browser history (which is the most important step) and sleep. 

Now, I am watching television with my parents. It is night time, and I can't help thinking how I have to go to sleep after that but the thought of 'Key' makes me stay awake and continue watching that drama with them. I fidget uncomfortably at times, shifting positions when I can't stay still for a few seconds. 

"For goodness sake, Minho, can you stop moving around? It's annoying." Hyung turns his head to me and shouts, before viewing the drama. I try hard to stay still and I end up grabbing the hem of my shirt to cope. 

"Minho-ah, you don't have to watch the drama if you don't like it." 

Mom is letting me go back to my room?

"Go to your room, Minho." My mom tells me, as if she can read my mind. I stand up awkwardly and walk to my room, trying not to think that all eyes are on me. 

In the room, I can hear the faint sounds of the television even after I close the door. I log onto 'Rateen' and start my chat with 'Key'. 

'Why did it take that long for you to log in?' 

'I had to spend 'quality time' with my parents.'

'Oh.' is what 'Key' replies with. 

I am about to type out something regarding the drama when I hear a knock on my door. 

Trouble. 

I delete everything I had typed out and tell him that 'someone is coming in' as quickly as possible, when that someone knocks a few more times on the door. Soon after minimizing the browser, the door opens and hyung's head peeks in. 

"Hey, Minho." He says. 

"Yeah, hyung?" I utter quickly and look at him. 

"Could you let me take a look at your Bible?" He asks. 

I grab a thick book (which should be the Bible, since it's quite heavy) from the table and pass it to him. Soon after he closed the door behind him, I heaved a sigh of relief. 

Thank goodness he didn't catch me going to Rateen. 

The last thing I want is for anyone to find out that I am gay, that I like Taemin, that I did something that is not godly. 

Yet, I step into my room to see my brother using my computer. My eyes widen and I rush to the computer. 

"Hey, don't touch my computer!" I shout. 

His body twists towards me and he chuckle. I'm confused by it, and I don't know what he would do. Tell Dad?

"What?" I flare, annoyed by his taunts. My voice is louder than I wanted it to be but I brush aside the pang of guilt and stay silent. 

"Gosh, Minho. You have to be careful if you were to go to Rateen every single day." The way he emphasies 'Rateen' makes me cringe. He knew? I feel my heart pounding against my chest furiously and I get more nervous. 

"How did you know?" I ask. 

"Uh... I took a look at the browser history."  

He actually took a look at the browser history? I feel like scoffing, but Key's words echo in my mind once again. Delete your browser history, those four words, why didn't I follow them?

"Better hide it well." He warns casually. 

And I can't believe he's warning me instead of reporting this secret to Dad. 

"Thank you." I mutter. 

Hyung stands up and slaps my back. 

"Don't mention it." 

-

Author's note: Sorry for not updating for a long time. There's lots of projects these days and I'm dealing with writing blocks.