We walked into a quaint restaurant that had well, a home-y feel to it. The walls were cream white, the furniture had a motif of using the colors of wood black and charcoal, each of the tables had a grill in the middle, typical for most restaurants that boast a good menu that consisted of roasted products. The chairs were big enough to fit two people in one, probably because of the Korean philosophy of keeping an adequate amount of physical space. We all filed in, and they asked me to choose a seat. I took a seat at the farthest end of the table, only to have Suho sit down next to me. I looked at Tao and he opted to choose a seat opposite my direction. Everyone else sat down, and began filing in their orders. 

"Yukgaejang! Don't forget that, alright?" Baekhyun, a rather bubbly member of EXO, smiled devilishly at the waitress then back at me. "You ready, Viola?" He asked, impishly.

"We have about 15 minutes to spare, well, maybe," I laughed shakily. 'But seriously, when I get my hands on those girls, I'm gonna tear them limb from limb. I'm a walking guide on how to be awkward around new people...or in my case, men,' I thought to myself. I blew softly at my shower bangs, in apparent boredom and tension. I don't know why, but no matter how hard I try to relax, I just get more tense. It's like fighting a tar pit, or a fly caught in a spider's web, the more you wiggle, the more you get stuck. 

When the food arrived, I was all but excited, is it too late to back out now? I looked at the bowl that oh-so-resembled a volcano judging from the incredibly thick chili paste that they had apprently put. I subtly sniffed the bowl that was handed to me, and it smelled absolutely putrid, due to the extra hot flavours that were practically swimming with the beef and scallions. I looked at it, and I remembered Kris's words as he described Korean chili to be the ultimate taste of hellfire. I shakily took the spoon, breathed in once, dipped the spoon in the bowl, and shakily brought it to my mouth. The moment the red-hot liquid entered my throat, I felt myself almost internally combust, well, not really, I wanted to get water, a whole gallon of it to satiate a tablespoon of Satan's flames going down my throat. I started to feel tears forming in my eyes, as I tried to breathe the air to calm it down, since there was no water available. After a few failed attempts, I began shaking Suho's arm, shamelessly. "Water," I choked. 

"Alright, alright," He said hastily. He flagged down a waitress and asked for water. "You okay? Just keep breathing." 

"Meh, I've been through worse," Kris commented, upon his own expense. "She'll be fine, just down it with a bit of water." With that, he turned to his own bowl and began eyeing the Yukgaejang to basically say 'So, we meet again.' When the waitress returned with a glass of water, Suho handed it to me, and I downed it in one shot. I could still feel the chili at my tongue, lingering there for a few seconds more, before it had completely faded and left a shockingly good after taste. I dove in for more, and Suho merely laughed at me. He turned to his own food before his eyes gleamed with the familiarity of getting an idea. "Hey, boys, check this out." The boys stopped eating for a moment, and turned to look at their leader. I put down my spoon and looked at the man next to me. He bravely got the kimchi, and shamelessly dunked his whole serving into the soup, got a tablespoon of chili paste, and three dashes of pepper and began to mix his soup. He put some of his soup in a smaller bowl, and placed more chili paste. God, this man was a daredevil. He raised the bowl to his mouth, winked at me cheekily and practically drank the....thing. I looked at the man in horror. 

EXO whooped at their leader, but I could see that some tears started to form in his eyes as well. So, I took the chance to flag down a waitress and ask for a pitcher of water. I gave him some tissue to wipe his now watery eyes, and to clean off some of the stray chili paste remnants on his bottom lip. The waitress came back and eyed us warily, considering that she might be going back to serve more water because a bunch of kids played with the chili paste and pepper. "Here," I gave him a glass of water to drink, he looked at me gratefully before drinking everything in the glass before asking for five more glasses to satiate the inferno that was probably transporting itself to his intestines as of the moment. "You okay?" 

"Suho, say, 'I'm a man!' " Chanyeol laughed at Suho's expense. 

"I'm a man," Suho squeaked. I laughed at him, and he looked at me with a mock-hurt expression. "Really, Viola? You're gonna join them as they laugh at me?" He said, dramatically. "I can't bear it! The pain of losing an ally! I thought you understood me!" 

"I do!" I laughed. "It's just that you shouldn't be doing stupid things like that, even if it means you wanna prove something," I was in near tears, yet again. "But hey, nice job with the chili though." I finished my soup, and the members decided to chat for a while, so, I excused myself to get some air outside by the back, where there was a makeshift garden. I looked at my watch to see that it was only 8 pm, and judging by my members' habitual makeup, they usually head to the hotel by 10 pm and arrive there at 11 or 12. I had at least two more hours to spare but that didn't lessen my worry about them. I took a seat at an empty bench, overlooking a small pond.I felt someone plop down next to me, only to see none-other-than Suho. "You followed me." 

"No, I wanted to get some air," Suho winked. "You're thinking about them again," He said in order to break the silence between us. "You know, usually, at your pauses like these, anyone can tell you're thinking about something bothering you. And in your case, that may as well be your members. I usually worry about the kids as well, so, I guess you can talk to me about whatever's troubling you." 

"Nothing's troubling me really. I just sort of got jealous, earlier," I admitted. He looked at me in confusion. "Well, you see, your members, they follow you a lot, you guys obviously look out for each other, and you guys are close....genuinely close. In comparison to yours, my group's practically disbanded. Lately, I don't know, I just don't feel like a leader anymore, maybe that's why they left me earlier...or maybe that's also why they didn't bother defending me when I was under fire during the contract signing." 

"You think too much," Suho smiled at me. "My group isn't all smiles and good times, Viola. There are times when we get into explosive fights with each other, there are times where they don't listen to me, there are times where we neglect each other, but that doesn't mean we're disbanded. We're simply going through the natural process of growing together. Why? What made you think that Allegro was disbanded? Back at the office, you guys seemed okay." 

"I'm the leader, Suho. Usually, I should be looking after them, but really, lately, I have a feeling that we've reversed roles somehow. It's them taking care of me now, and they're having a pretty hard time, I'm sure. Ever since the thing happened, the roles have changed. Today, I just tried to reinstate my responsibility, but earlier, before we even touched down at Incheon, I've already been nagged by my members regarding the..." I shouldn't share it to him. I couldn't share that horrible event back in Europe to him. "thing that happened in Europe." 

"What happened?" I looked away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask. But if it means anything, that would only mean that they care for you. A leader is nothing without s. Believe it or not, from the short time we've actually met each other, I've felt pretty at ease with you. Like, finally someone understood me, and all that, when it comes to this 'leading the group' business." 

"I get it, don't worry. Before I went to Seoul, I had...well, one of those episodes," I hinted at him. He looked at me in worry. "I was fine, it's just that I was going through a lot of things back in Europe, first, I left Allegro for a record company and I was abused and all, I had to work murderous hours, I was barely considered human. Then, a string of terrible events happened, then, I just fell into depression." 'STOP! Why are you saying this to him? What did we say about trusting too easily? Getting attached?' I scolded myself. I shouldn't be telling him this! I shouldn't even be talking to him at all! But why wasn't I stopping? Why was I openly defying that set rule in my brain? "I would have late night episodes wherein I would just get up, and do...things that didn't make sense. At one point, I even went so far as to taking pills and-" 

"Stop," Suho said firmly. "I should've been more sensitive about that. I'm sorry I even brought it up. Viola, I know it isn't my place to stop you or anything, nor is it my place to say 'you can do it' but all I can offer you is this." He pointed to his shoulder, then, he took out his phone from his suit. "And this. What's your cp number?" 

"XXXX-XXX-XXXX" I said. Then in turn, he gave me his on a piece of paper. "Oh Suho, you don't have to." 

"I want to," He said, holding my hand, with which we both flinched. "Anyway, as I was saying, it's not in my place to try making you do enormous changes regarding your depression, I mean, we hardly met, but you know, I just want you to know that if you need someone who will shut up for a moment, and just listen, I'm here," He smiled at me, warmly. "I know I'm not the best person out there, usually I'm rather talkative when it comes to things like these, but for you, I don't know, call it a special case, perse. I'll listen." 

"Thank you. For everything tonight, honestly. For being welcoming and all," I said. 

"In Seoul, the wind here during this season is exceptionally cold, I figured you might need the extra mittens." He looked at me again, and this time, I didn't hesitate to look at him back. 'Stop it! Enough! Stand down! You shouldn't even be doing this! You should be working!' 

"Suho, we're leaving," Tao called from behind us, that caused us to tear our gazes from each other to look at him, rolling his eyes. That's funny, usually, they add in a -hyung at the end of an older brother's name. Suho stood up, and offered his hand to me. I did the right thing and politely declined. I'm confused, I'm sure I must be. But that didn't seem to bother him, as he had led me in, and back in the van. This time Tao sat next to me, and started talking to me. But somehow, just somehow, I feel the confusion swirling even more when he speaks, it's as if something's tugging at my brain saying, 'What's happening'. 

But seriously, what is happening? Or to put it more accurately, what's gonna happen from here on out? I'm usually the type to know the outcome of every battle, be it personal, interpersonal or involving Allegro, but this time, I'm not entirely sure.