Chapter 12
You're Always in My Heart (항상 내 마음에 있는 그대)“Well I wanted to see what you thought about my performance.” Hanbin said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I saw you in the audience.”
“Did you need to risk being kidnapped by fan girls to tell me that” I said jokingly but I couldn’t help and feel slightly special. “And yeah I saw you waving too.” I continued, watching as his face lit up a little.
“Oh you did? I thought maybe you hadn’t seen me wave.” He said honestly. “Well I wanted to see you in person.” He smirked a little. “Is that problem?”
“No problem.” I retorted cheekily. “I was just curious.”
“So I presume you’re going home now then?” Hanbin asked, leaning his shoulder against one of the white-washed walls of the stairwell. “How come you’re here alone?” He frowned slightly. “Where are your friends?”
“Yeah. It’s pretty late,” I continued, checking my phone for the time. “I sent them home because we all take different buses home anyway. What about you? I hope you have no more things to do today.” I said, thinking about how busy trainees’ schedules are.
Hanbin laughed at that. “Yeah of course. We wouldn’t have anything that starts just before midnight.” He explained in amusement. “It’s nice to see you care though.”
“You’re welcome?” I tried to say but it came out more like an open-ended question.
“Haha you’re a strange one Sumin.” Hanbin said, his smile showing his white teeth that were poking between his lips.
“What about your group members? Aren’t they wondering where you are?” I asked curiously, ignoring his last comment somewhat.
“Oh I told them I’d meet them back at the dorm. It’s fine they know I like to have some alone time after performing.” He explained carefully.
“That’s good then. I didn’t want to be the reason the whole group misses out on sleep.”
“They’ll probably going home to play games honestly, so I wouldn’t worry too much.” Hanbin chuckled again and shifted his lean against the wall slightly.
There was a moment of silence. It wasn’t particularly awkward but I could feel it start to creep in as I looked at my feet scuffing against the floor.
“So...” Hanbin started, causing me to snap my head back up at the sudden noise. “Wanna’ come for a walk? I was planning on just going a few blocks to get some air, but company would be nice.”
“Well..”
“I mean only if you want to. I understand if you want to get home.” He started.
“It’s fine, it’s Saturday tomorrow so I don’t have to get up for school.” I smiled. “But are you sure you won’t be recognised. Some of those fan girls are very good.” I remarked.
“That’s true, but I think we’ll be ok. I have my disguise ready.” He said pointing to a small backpack that was by his feet. “If we go out the front entrance, they’ll never expect it. All the fans will be round the back entrance to catch a glimpse of the performer cars leaving.” He explained.
I looked at him incredulously. “How do you know all that?!”
“This isn’t my first time sneaking out a venue. You’re with an expert.” He said proudly, puffing his chest up.
“Fair enough.” I replied. “Show the way then ‘O Great One.’”
*
“I’m impressed.” I admitted once we were clear of the venue, standing on the opposite side of the road junction. I looked over at Hanbin in his disguise. He was donning a black hoodie, cap and mask so that his whole face was pretty much covered. “The place was pretty much empty. Are you sure you haven’t been a fan girl before?” I joked.
“Very sure.” He said and I could feel his aura had changed somewhat. He felt more tense and serious.
“Do you wanna’ tell me what’s wrong?” I asked carefully, gently putting a hand on his shoulder, albeit a little awkwardly because of the noticeable height difference.
“How did you-“ He began. “Never mind.” He looked at me, a twinkle in his eye. “C’mon let’s walk. I’ll tell you.”
We began walking down a narrow side street, all around were entrances to small houses each with white gates with a number stamped on neatly. The road was covered in posters that had been thrown from bikes by promoters and that shined in the dim glow produced by the streetlights.
“Don’t be offended.” Hanbin started, and I felt my heart clench a little. “I mean why would you be offended but anyway…” He moved a little closer to me so that our shoulders nearly brushed. “I am really grateful for all of our fans, we have a great following even though we haven’t debuted yet.” I almost see his smile as he talked, even without being able to see it. “But there are some fans already that take it too far and it makes everything so much harder.”
“I’ve heard fan girls can be quite intense.” I added, not knowing where it was going.
“It’s not just that, I don’t mind dedicated, that’s pretty cute but a few of those girls are seriously psycho. They know where we live so they sit outside our dorm room and wait for us. Actually once we had a girl break into our apartment and steal a few things.” I let him continue, knowing he needed a chance to let it all out. “They follow us to each schedule we have and then try to get into our van. We’ve even had people steal or hack into our phones.” He sighed loudly. “I’m just worried because we haven’t even debuted yet and they’re causing trouble. What will they be like once we debut?”
I didn’t say anything for a while.
“Sumin?”
“Are you happy?” I suddenly blurted out.
“What do you mean? Of course I’m n-“
“I mean, do like you what you do? Are you happy with it?”
“Of course. There’s no better job for me.”
“I totally understand. Those girls, they’re not reals fans so don’t think of them as such. I can’t say that you’ll be able to get rid of them but you’ll have to just keep living as if they’re not there and if they don’t leave, don’t be hesitant about calling the police and getting them taken away for public disturbance.” I said quietly. “You’re a strong guy and from what I can see you’re all very dedicated to your group, so don’t let a few weirdos jeopardise your happiness.” I finished and quickly inhaled, realising I hadn’t breathed for a while.
“Wow Sumin, you’re amazing.” Hanbin said and then he continued, “But I don’t want those girls to get in the way of my personal life and hurt people I care about. What if I have a girl I like and want to see? I don’t want her getting mixed up in these things.”
“That’s probably going to happen, sorry Hanbin. I know it’s not fair but that’s the price of being successful.” I stated sombrely. “I’m sure if the girl you liked, liked you back enough too then she would be willing to endure it.” I suggested, felling stuck for words.
“I hope she
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