Chapter Six

Ease

78 – 76.

The buzzer echoes in the air. They win. There’s no hugging or shouting in joy of their win. They stand rooting on the ground, catching their breath as if they can’t believe that they just win this game and head to the final. Seungcheol is catching his dream slowly, he told him that if he plays well, he might get a chance to get a scholarship. And he plays amazingly, not only Jeonghan, everyone in the stadium can tell. When they finally realized that they just win, Seungcheol gathers his teammates to line up and bow to the spectators. Taehyung is crying, and Seungcheol will make sure to about it later.

Among the noise of hands clapping, Seungcheol meets those eyes again, staring back at him yet again. And Seungcheol couldn’t help to smile, he misses Jeonghan and he’s here.

After the game, the first thing he does is taking out his phone but the text he expects wasn’t there.
Jiwon nudges him playfully, the stupid bunny grin still decorating his cocky expression. “What?” Seungcheol snaps. “You’re dumb”

“What do you mean?”

Jiwon laughs “See that? Look, Capt. That’s really clear that you have a thing for the brunette, and maybe it will be less painful if both of you speak it up” Seungcheol’s eyes widen. How did Jiwon know? Is it obvious?

“In case you’re wondering, yes, it’s obvious. But don’t worry, the rests are idiots ,they don’t notice at all” Jiwon says, and continues “I thought it was Tzuyu, but when i saw the message i know it’s someone else.”
“That doesn’t justify the fact that you texted Jeonghan behind my back,” Seungcheol snaps again,

“Hey,i don’t know he’s a dude!” Seungcheol puts his hand on Jiwon’s mouth almost at the same time the others wipe their heads at the noisy point guard.
Seungcheol’s face soften. “Yeah,it must be surprising for you too, right?”

“You know, Seungcheol, i won’t judge. I go to church, i believe in God, but i think love is genderless ,we just can’t control who our hearts want to love, what we can control is our act about the decision of that love. Falling in love is a part of the process of growing up too, embrace it, man. Don’t run away” It is ridiculous to even imagine that Jiwon will eventually say something that makes Seungcheol feel this way.
Yifan is waiting in front of the changing room, talking to their manager. “Hey, you okay?”

Seungcheol laughs “Never been better”

“You scared the hell out of me when i came and you just running on the court with the bandage” he rolls his eyes at his older brother “Tch, i know you will ditch my game.”

“Don’t say that, there’s an important meeting. I came here as soon as i can”

“I know, i’m just kidding” Seungcheol laughs again. “Then let’s take you to the hospital, i’ve promised mom and your coach” Seungcheol looks at his phone, Jeonghan is not there, still. Did Jeonghan came to actually see him for the last time? Could it be Jeonghan doesn’t want to see him again?

“Can you wait on the car first? I need to find someone,” Yifan raises his eyebrow but he doesn’t say anything. “Okay, give me a call if you’re finished”
Seungcheol dials Jeonghan’s number, but it doesn’t go through. He jogs along the hallway, among the spectators that going out the stadium. Jeonghan still doesn’t pick out his calls. Seungcheol is desperate because it’s getting empty, only staffs and a few people walking in the building.

“Seungcheol”

His heart stops.

~~~

The house is empty and quiet, it was 7.30 in the evening when he reaches his sister’s house. He was wandering in the city after the game. His battery is out and he just got caught in his own world, not knowing that it’s already late. After rummaging inside his bag to search for the charger, he steps into the bath. The cold waters hit his head directly, his long hairs are sticking to his face, but he doesn’t bother to remove it.

When Seungcheol fell, his own world stopped. The blood clearly seeps from the straight cut zoomed on the big screen. His breakfast almost find its way upwards, Seungcheols got hurt.

But when he came back on the fourth quarter with bandage on the head, Jeonghan couldn’t help to laugh. Stubborn Seungcheol. And those eyes, miraculously found a way to meet his. Seungcheol knew he’s here for him. He’s glad.
Even when he clearly held the pain, he didn’t slow down. Charging towards the opponent in full speed . Among the claps and shouts, again, Seungcheol found a way to smile this time. A smile that he doesn’t know he’s been missing this whole time.

After the game, he tried to look for Seungcheol. But by the time he found him, he was kissing a girl.

Somehow, his mind suddenly recalls the scene he accidentally witness later today over and over again. Seungcheol was there, kissing a girl. A very beautiful girl. Jeonghan smiles bitterly, it wasn’t supposed to bother him either, right? Seungcheol never tells anything about girlfriend , but then again, why would he tell him? And why wouldn’t he have one? Seungcheol is handsome, he’s cool, he can play basketball, he’s nice, he’s silly, and...he’s Seungcheol.

Jeonghan cries,

he doesn’t want to, but the salty warm tears keep streaming down his eyes, mixed with the cold water from the shower. He’s scared, he falls in love with a boy. He is crying over a kiss. And guilt takes over himself, for not trying hard enough to keep himself away from Seungcheol and for falling deeper and deeper.
The sniffles turns louder, he’s crying his heart out because Seungcheol kissed him, because his heart aches, because he’s pathetic, because simply he wants Seungcheol to be here. But it’s just impossible. Jeonghan knew, that’s why he is crying.

~~~

“Congratulation, Sweetheart! you really made it!” his mom is kissing his cheeks over and over again. He’s supposed to be happy, yes, he should be. The letter he had been expecting to come just arrived this afternoon. His brother informs him that he got a recommendation letter from Pledis academy to attend an exchange program for the sport program and even a chance to continue studying in Pledis until high school. His dream of being a professional basketball athlete is one step closer.

“You had been trying hard in the championship” but he’s not even playing on the final, well ,from the examination result, the doctor suggest for a full week of recovery so the coach made decision not to make Seungcheol play on the final. They still won though. And even the team made him to receive the trophy, saying that he deserved it. He couldn’t be any happier, yeah.

Just one small thing. Jeonghan is not there, he didn’t come on the final, his number is not active. Even when he asked for Jiwon’s help to call Jeonghan, it’s the same. For another whole week it’s the same. Tomorrow is Christmas, and it should be the best present he always wished for. “Honey, could you tell your brother that dinner is almost ready?”

Seungcheol obeys, dragging himself to his brother’s room.

“Come in”

Yifan is unpacking his luggage, putting his belongings on the bed meticulously. “Dinner’s ready?” Seungcheol nods. “You still have that dinosaur t-shirt?”
Yifan chuckles, looking at the folded grey dinosaur t-shirt on the bed. Their mom bought them the same t-shirt last Christmas – beside a new phone for Seungcheol and a pair of suits for Yifan of course- “I like the shirt, somehow remind me of home and you since you have the identical one”

“Seungcheol? what happen?”

Yifan pulls his younger brother closer. What the is this water? Seungcheol curses himself, roughly wiping the tears away. “Hey, stop it. You’re gonna hurt yourself” Yifan puts down Seungcheol’s hand on the sided. And his shoulders are shaking violently to hold the tears. It’s the first time he ever see Seungcheol breakdowns. Seungcheol is a strong and stubborn kid, he will say he’s fine even if he’s wounded. But he’s crying, his baby brother is crying. Yifan locks the door behind and pulls Seungcheol into his arms. “I’m here”

“I’m sorry, i’m sorry” Yifan pulls Seungcheol deeper as he keeps apologizing to him. “i want to tell you, but i can’t. i’m sorry”

“It’s okay, you can tell me anytime you’re ready, Seungcheol”

“You’re right, i have problems, but i just couldn’t tell you, or mom, or dad. I just can’t, i’m afraid you’ll be disappointed in me, i’m sorry, i’m wrong”

He pats Seungcheol’s back lightly to tell him that it’s okay if he didn’t want to tell them now, that they trust him.
Seungcheol doesn’t know how to feel about him loving Jeonghan. It’s wrong, but it feels right. It’s a new feeling he doesn’t know how handle. He misses Jeonghan, he wants him. But he’s afraid that the whole world will go against them. Seungcheol might be different from any other boys, he’s just scared Jeonghan will hates him from loving him and running away at the same time.

“Uhh,i must look terrible now” Seungcheol frees himself from Yifan after a few minutes crying on his arms “You look disgusting” Seungcheol laughs “Yeah”

“Seungcheol, we make mistakes, human do, but it doesn’t mean we have to avoid making choices. It could be wrong at one time, but we could always learn. And whatever choices you made in your life, don’t regret it, because at one point, it’s something your heart desires to do the most” something my heart desires to do?

“Boys? what are you doing? dinner’s ready!” mom is knocking on the door, they both laugh. “Come on, we don’t want to make her wait any longer”

~~~

Winter flies by, spring ends fast, even summer and fall follows behind, and suddenly another year passed in a blink. It’s almost spring again, and when this summer comes, he has to make decision on where he will continue. A year ago, when his sister came back from the trip, he met her friend who seems to be interested in Jeonghan. He asked him if he have any interest in modeling, but his sister replied for him instead, that Jeonghan is too young for this. It was when Jeonghan finally knew that his sister is working her way to be a professional model.

And it was fall when he turned fourteen and said to his sister that he wants to work after graduate. He might not be that close to her, but Jeonghan knew she cares for him a lot. She insisted on making Jeonghan continues his education until college. She knew he was worried about the fee. So she allowed him to work as a freelance in her modeling agency. Her boss was happy, since he – Ieonghan recalled his name is Jonghyun- always asked if Jeonghan wants to be a model. It was just a small work, posing for various clothing brands and some teenage fashion websites, he has to spend his weekends and holiday in the city. He likes the payment, not much, but it’s a lot for him, moreover, he got free branded clothes. But now that final exam and high school entrance test is around the corner, he stops working.

He almost never go to the town, it’s only school, home, subway, and the city. He’s glad, things always keep him busy that he barely have time to think about Seungcheol – maybe except at night, when he lies down on the bed, looking to his side, imagining that Seungcheol is there, sleeping beside him- but other than that, he always manage to suppress his feeling.

“Jonghyun was asking if you still want to continue working for him in high school” Jin-ah says among their weekend breakfast. “He is nice, i like working with him”
Jin-ah laughs “Yeah, i was going to kick his if he look at you the same as he looks at the other boys”
Jeonghan is not sure what does that mean until his sister continues “I’m glad he treats you like his own brother, and i’m glad his boyfriend doesn’t cut you in half”

“Boyfriend?”

“You’ve met him,right? Key?” Jeonghan drops his peanut butter toast. “The blonde model you worked with last week?” Jin-ah nods. “It’s normal in this industry”

No it’s not. It’s not normal, at least it’s what he always believe. Having something for the same is not normal, that’s why Jeonghan does this, avoiding Seungcheol and he guessed Seungcheol is feeling the same way, because he doesn’t come looking for him or contacting him this whole year.

“I was thinking of selling the house and the apartment back home, i mean, you will stay in here with me and we..don’t really have anyone there” It was hard for Jin-ah and him to even mention about home but they have to move on. “You will sell the house?”
“I got a call from someone who wants to buy the land, seems like they want to build a school around there. Thing has changed huh? Back then it’s just a quiet neighborhood.”

“It’s okay if you want to sell the house”
“Really?”
Jeonghan nods “Just as you said, we don’t really have anyone in the town, it’s just an abandoned house anyway”

Jin-ah goes to work later that afternoon, Jeonghan is alone in his sister’s apartment. His phone rings and Jeonghan leaves a sticky note on the fridge just in case his sister come home early

‘I’m going out with Jisoo’

Jisoo is a nice person, he is someone Jeonghan would describe as a gentleman. Jisoo comes from a distinguished family, raised as one of the young master of his house, but he never acts as if all those thing matters in their friendship. It’s kind of funny because Jisoo was his date – fake date- just a year ago, but they get along really well. After knowing that Jeonghan often went to the city, Jisoo frequently hangs out with him since he lives in the city with his mother now.

“A penny for your thought?”

Jeonghan smiles, one of the favorite smiles Jisoo had ever seen. “Nah, it’s nothing. How’s study?”

“Hard, but i can manage. Father expects me to go abroad, what about you, Jeonghan? Did you decide where to go after this?”

The long haired boy was thinking of working instead, but he knows his sister wouldn’t allow it. “I don’t know, somewhere cheap i guess” Jisoo doesn’t amuse with the joke “Or maybe i can go for a scholarship in some rich school like Pledis”

Jeonghan turns around to see how Jisoo react to his statement. There’s a glint of proud and amaze on his face, but Jeonghan is not sure if that’s a good thing “That’s great, i’m sure you can make it. You’re always at the top of your class, right?” Yes, he is. But how can Jisoo expect Jeonghan to be someone who can pass the mark standard when all his classmates are just bunch of unfriendly neighborhood kids who barely pass the exam?

“Yeri told me you’re a top student too”

His school is not the fanciest school only rich kids and smartass can enroll-apparently it’s Seungcheol’s school is. And Jisoo is homeschooling, so he probably doesn’t know how it’s like to compete with another smart kids. “I don’t know,i’m not sure”

“It’s good,Jeonghan. It’s definitely a better choice than North high, right?”

Jeonghan was thinking of going to West High, close to his house and away from North high, but after the conversation about selling the house and apartment in the town, he is sure his sister wants him to enroll here in the city.

“Yeah,you’re right,Jisoo. Maybe i should try”

~~~

I feel bad to write this chapter, both of them are feeling insecure about the feeling, scared of the world and their own desire,and I just feel bad myself -_-"

Inspired by troye's beautiful track 'Ease' (reminds me a lot about my family) that also happens to be @Cheonsa_Jeonghan favorite track (keke I hope you like it) and also for kind peoples who give me courage by reading and giving me their thoughts, @waewwara, @Rose1073, @Seobwipeu, and also @larasatinita, and also the subscribers (thank you~)

(Do you like the poster? It was rushed and awkward since it’salso been ages since the last time I made a poster -_-" and guess who is Jeonghan’s sister? Keke beautiful Im Jin Ah!  I swear they're both gorgeous and resembles each other )

But again, I hope you guys enjoy the story~

With love, 

Deerchoding