Days after Christmas I settled the rest of the week at home. There was nothing else to do, and I stayed in my bedroom most of the time, unless my parents told me to go and pick things up, or bring my cousin anywhere else for sightseeing purposes, but other than that I found my break pretty calm.

On New Years Eve Hoseok invited me to go to the main city square for there was a special event taking place. He tried to invite the others but they unfortunately couldn't. I even invited Jin, but he refused saying 'you go have fun with your friend'. I asked Yuna too but she had to take care of her grandma who had the stomach flu.

So in the end it was only Hoseok and I. Because we were out still early (7:00 pm) we decided to go back to the underground dance ground and chill there to pass the time.

There I met the eccentric DJ (that always seems to enjoy his time on the turntable) and a few of Hoseok's dance crew members. I asked him then what happened to the contest he entered and he said that they have gotten second, but because the 1^st place winning team didn't make their own choreography have been eliminated and Hoseok's team got the place instead.

“Yo, J-hope!” one of s came up to him. “MC wants us to perform up there our dance.”

“Oh man, really? I'll be there in a sec.” he turned to me. “Are you okay watching here for a little bit?”

I nodded. “Yeah, it's totally fine.” I assured him. With a grateful smile he patted my shoulder before disappearing along the crowd and headed up the stage. I navigated myself the large group of people and just for a glance I had to stop. There was a familiar figure I've seen, but I wasn't too sure.

Regaining my senses, I tried to walk closer for a better view, only to see the back of their heads. But the moment they pivoted I couldn't help but stare some more. I even blinked my eyes a few times. But soon the lights flickered off for the performance, and I just shook my head.

I must be imagining things.

* * *

We went to the city centre as he first promised to see already such a big crowd gather around. I would admit that it was a little chilly, and I kind of regret not grabbing my gloves beforehand. So I stood there shifting my foot from side to side and burrowing half my face further into my woolen scarf.

Hoseok beside me nudged my ribs and said he'll be right back and was going to grab some hot cocoa. I told him if he could also get me some as well that would have been great. I continued to stare at the big clock to see it was almost 10 more minutes until it was 12, and in the moment I was too caught up when the person who tapped me from behind turned out to be, well, not the person who I was with.

“Nice to see you here.” Namjoon smiled. From behind I can see Hoseok grinning and strode past as he handed me my hot beverage.

“Did you guys come together?” I asked. The other nodded, explaining that he seen Hoseok while passing by the street and just wanted to say hi. I was about to say something else when already they have begun the countdown.

“10...9...8...” Hoseok squeezed my hand as his eyes seemed to almost bulge right out of his eyes in excitement.

“7...6...5...” I see other people holding their hands in front of them, waiting. Hoping.

“4...3...2...” I took one last look at Namjoon. His dimple smile that glowed with just the street lights illuminating above. I cherished that very last second.

“1.” the sky exploded with dozen fireworks, the atmosphere filled with cheers, and I felt the warmth of Hoseok hugging me so tight as everyone's voice shouted a great 'Happy New Year!' rang in my head. When he let go I felt a vibration in my pocket, and opening the screen I picked up the call by it to be Yuna.

“Happy New Year!” she chorused.

“Happy New Year,” I say back with a smile. “sorry if it's loud... I'm still with Hoseok at the city’s main.” I apologized. After the little understanding she hung up and I received a couple of messages from my other friends saying the same thing, and only appropriate for me to reply with a 'You too!'.

The celebration continued for about an hour or so, but we ended up leaving around 1 in the morning for the crowd dispersed already. It was mostly quiet in the streets, besides a few drunkards hobbling off with their co-workers in hailing a taxi. What I also didn't notice was that Namjoon even followed us back until we reached a bus station on the way home. “I'll see you guys around. Have a good New Years.” with a subtle wave he quickly hopped on the incoming transit and I watched from behind until the bus was no longer into view.

I asked Hoseok how he's going home to which he said, “I think my dad drank, so he can't pick me up.” I offered if he wanted to stay at my place but he declined, so instead he called up Yoongi. 5 minutes after waiting a silver car drove up slowly on the curb, and out came the said boy himself.

“Why didn't you call your sister or something?” Yoongi growled, but Hoseok only put a tried smirk.

“Noona is having some drinks with her friends, so she's probably hacking up some vomit by now.” I made a disgusted look (in fact Yoongi and I both did) but nonetheless they went into the car together. When Yoongi closed the passenger door the window rolled down and Hoseok hollered a 'bye!' before Yoongi went to the driver's seat and they both drove off.

Ideally I would have taken the bus, for the fare was for free during New Years Eve. But instead I decided to walk back home, only that my house was just blocks away anyway. On the way I stopped by my favourite bakery and bought some melon bread and even a mango mousse cake, though the cake I didn't even intend to buy in the first place – it looked appetizing on the display window so I had to get it.

My parents weren't so worried about me coming home late in the morning; too busy still talking with our relatives and whatnot in the main room. I slipped past them, I said my 'Happy New Years' as they did too (possibly too drunk to say it properly back), headed straight to the kitchen to only see my cousin quietly eating some plated food on the dinner table.

When he saw me immediately his eyes latched on to the cake box in my hands. “What'd you get?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Some bread and cake. You want some?” with a solemn nod I grabbed us some forks and we both ended up picking at it.

A quarter way down to the cake I said: “Why are you eating by yourself?”

“It's a funny story, really. I made some appetizers for them but in the end all they've ever been eating was crust bread and wine. I swear I think I'm the only one eating it.” I laughed and picked what seemed to be a stuffed bell pepper and popped it into my mouth.

“Oh wow,” I swallowed. “that's freaking amazing.” I ended up eating half of his appetizers and half of the cake, and once I finished his plate I grabbed some more that were sitting in the oven. They clearly were missing out, as they always do.

By the time it was almost 3 we packed up the little party and went to bed. However Jin and I really couldn't sleep, after all we had to settle for a little since we just ate. After I brushed my teeth and changed into my comfortable pajamas I come into the room to see Jin sitting on the edge of my bed and staring at the stuffed animal sitting on the window sill. I quietly came closer and sat beside my cousin. "Do you like that frog?" instantly he reached out and grabbed it, putting it into his lap.

"I didn't see this one before. Did someone give it to you?"

I stiffened by the question, but relaxed. "Y-yeah. It was... Namjoon." I mumbled. His eyebrows rose, but nonetheless he gave a slow nod and put the frog back where it was. I watched his face for a long time just to read his expression. Jin knew about Namjoon and oh so little story behind it, so even just mentioning his name he didn't need to explain.

He knew. Jin shuffled to the floor where I gave him a throw fleece and an extra pillow to sleep with. I shut off the lights and lied down. I wondered, what Jin thought of Namjoon. In fact, I never heard his actual opinion about him. And at the most; he never saw him in person either.

"Jin," I whispered. "are you asleep?"

There was no response from him, other than just a simple snore. I sighed.

I guess I won't ever know.

***

It's funny, how we tend to get a little impression of others just by their exterior. We would say things like 'Oh, she's probably the highest in our class' or 'God, why is he such an ?'. Again, that is just the exterior impression we assume. In other words, we just judge without knowing the person themselves.

But yet, usually when we finally get to know them we often get surprised by their true personality.

Sometimes it goes with our expectations of them.

And sometimes it doesn't.

Senior year was just like that for me. I've seen so many people slowly reveal a face that I didn't quite expect to see would come out of them. They were either bad, or they were good personalities; all depends on how you look at it in your point of view.

You find these surprises especially in what you call, 'off the sidelines'. Or in every story, those characters that are just in the background of the main plot.

For me I had these few instances: Kim Namjoon, Jung Hoseok, Jeon Jungkook. Somehow they all viewed my personality in such different ways that I really couldn't pinpoint to just one persona I show to the world. It left me with only one question:

who was I really?

Freshmen year merely brought that to the surface.

Sophmore year I kept it unconsciously.

Junior year I slowly unraveled it in my own hands.

And Senior year... is when it was finally answered.