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It will not be an understatement to say that Joohyun nearly experiences a heart attack the moment she lays her eyes on Yixing Zhang standing in the corner of her front lawn.

It is enough that up until that point, Christmas Day has been nothing but trouble and unrest. The first thing that Joohyun did after waking up was to slide out of bed and make sure that Sehun was still there with them. He was; despite the circumstances of the previous day and his rather unceremonious disappearance, he was still there, fast asleep in his bed and looking quite peaceful even. The second was to reminisce the painfully awkward lunch with the Kangs and immediately deciding to descend to the kitchen and eat her portion of cold cereal by herself while she still could. It would later give her an excuse to refuse family breakfast, in case the situation between her family members had not yet stabilised.

What a far cry from the traditional Christmas celebration that she remembered from her childhood and early teens. Despite the tension between her and her twin, she still longed to be able to give him a warm hug while exchanging gifts on Boxing Day and laugh at his hurt pride when he stammered during his reading of the gospel. It hurt because they used to be inseparable – but suffering and rejoicing together. But, she bitterly notes, Sehun was never really included in those. He never thought of anything we did as particularly enjoyable. And now that she is forced to reject her bond with Junmyeon for the sake of her younger brother’s well-being, she still feels guilt and regret. Not at the choice, per se; rather, at the impossibility to salvage her relationships with both. There is no abandoning Sehun or changing Junmyeon’s mind, and especially not under current circumstances. Seulgi and Junmyeon will be married in no time, and then Junmyeon will eventually take over the parish – that is how it has always been planned and Joohyun does not suppose that a small bump like a pre mature marriage will alter or even significantly delay the schedule.

And Joohyun? Joohyun does not know what to do anymore. She had sent out five application for courses at nearby universities. Four dealt with theology and education, but one with law and business management.

Her little secret spurred her to think of Seungwan and her own indecisiveness. Joohyun used to think that the younger girl simply did not care enough for her future to seriously focus on it – perhaps on the account of her rich parents, or perhaps due to her misplaced sense of rebellion. Joohyun used to despite such attitude, always so certain of her own direction. But now, for the first time in her life, Joohyun is scared. Scared because she has finally become aware of the painful nervousness that anyone stepping into adulthood is bound to experience at least once. Seungwan’s indifference is but a bluff, a diversion created by herself and for herself as a defence mechanism against driving herself mad with anxiety as to her future. Or at least Joohyun’s is. Stepping away from the sure plan that God (and her parents) prepared for her, she is truly left on her own. With nobody to lead her through it anymore, she has to become her own guide and really get to know the side of herself that she has never been familiar with.

That is the most alarming and terrifying realisation that she has ever faced. How far would she go, what is she capable of? Clearly a lot, considering the point her current transformation reached but the real question is, what if all of this is for nothing? What if she is wrong?

There is no more time to contemplate the matter as soon enough the rest of her family appears in sight and for once since her return, Joohyun is thankful for it, unwilling to be consumed by the panic overtaking her.

The remains of the day are spent on preparation for the wedding. Joohyun quickly learns that nobody in their congregation is aware of the precarious situation the two young adults have found themselves in. Pastor Bae creates an illusion of it being a desirable match, a decision made not out of desperation but necessity to be closer to God and surprisingly, the majority of their neighbours and friends from the congregation seem to accept it easily. Perhaps they too, like Joohyun before, cope with reality through denial. She nonetheless greets everyone in the church amicably, sitting right next to Seulgi the entire time, even though they have not exchanged even one word the entire time. The soon-to-be married couple does their best to appear calm and confident, but Junmyeon is a far better actor than Seulgi. The girl mostly just stays still, the paleness of her complexion sharply contrasting with the light smile on her face. Joohyun supposes that the condition is ascribed by other to the nerves.

It has been a long day at the church and then giving her mother and Mrs. Kang a hand in the kitchen. Finally, towards late afternoon she is tasked with finding Sehun – the dinner is coming and he has to yet try on the suit for the next day’s ceremony – and that is when she spots Yixing Zhang waiting just outside their fence. He is standing in the shade just under the lamp post – it just so happens that their house is at the end of the street and they don’t have neighbours on the right side, but rather just a narrow road connecting them to the other side of the community, hardly used even by locals. It is getting dark outside, not to mention cold – too cold for the casual wind breaker that the boy is sporting.

She spots him from the threshold. She initially thought of taking a quick look around the old playground two streets over where she knows Sehun has a habit of sometimes hanging around when alone, but that is now forgotten. Joohyun closes the door and approaches her classmate, not quite sure whether she should feel confused, frustrated or just plain angry. She opens but even as she is right in front of him, nothing comes out. They look at each other for a few second and he finally hangs his head low.

‘Yeah, I know,’ he says, but Joohyun thinks in passing that he really does not, for he sounds less remorseful and far more determined. To do what, the girl does not even want to think about.

‘What- Just… Why are you here?’ She honestly does not have anything against Yixing, she never really has. She has always found him pleasantly dull, perhaps a good balance to Junmyeon’s overactive persona. It was certainly a shock to find out about his relationship with Sehun but that was all water under the bridge now, or at least Joohyun would like to think so. Her peer seems to be a good influence on her younger sibling, helping him come out of his shell a little. Even to Joohyun herself, Yixing has been a surprisingly good companion – her school life would have been a lot more painful if not for his presence in the classes they have together.

So why…? What possessed him to…? He’s supposed to be the reasonable one.

‘Because my heart bloody hurts when I hear him cry on the phone,’ Yixing replies, looking just as overwhelmed with his feelings as Joohyun is at the statement. Like they both cannot believe it, still.

So Sehun cried, that much Joohyun should have already suspected. He has been putting up tough front lately, but people do not change just like that, not really. Nobody is more aware of the fact than Joohyun herself is.

‘Does he know- Never mind, you can’t be here. You should have called him beforehand at least. Yixing, you are literally the last person that we need in this house right now.’

‘I know, ok? I know. I really wasn’t gonna travel all those miles on a Christmas Day, I mean, it is crazy but… You should have heard him last night. I was ready to jump on the night coach right then and there. I’m actually surprised I only arrived tonight.’ He becomes silent for a while before sighing at her lack of reaction. ‘I’m ing terrified for him, Joohyun. I know what’s happened today, I got his message. Honestly? Your father is lucky I wasn’t there.’

That is right; today has not exactly been as quiet as Joohyun would like to pretend. When Sehun refused to attend church in the morning, their father slapped him, threatening to take him out of school and sending to one of those places. Joohyun heard their argument and rushed to the scene, taking a stand in front of her younger brother, even though it was not the best idea to throw herself amidst their rage. Pastor Bae raised his hand but did not touch her. He did not, but looking into his eyes she immediately understood – whatever he knew, whatever Junmyeon had told him… It was obvious that he blamed it all on Joohyun. If not for Sehun standing right behind her, she would have taken a step back and recoiled. Their father’s distrust and distaste for her was even stronger than the one he harboured for his youngest.

Sehun ran away right after, shutting the front door behind him and their father left to prepare for the mass, while the girl stood there rooted to the spot for a few more minutes. She was beyond shocked.

Yixing does not seem to notice that Joohyun has nearly dozed off on him, still reflecting on his own feelings.

‘I don’t suppose you’d understand right now but if you ever do fall in love, you will. You’ll understand what it’s like not to sleep all night thinking about somebody else’s well-being. Wondering if they’re alright and eating well. Feeling like a mess when they’re not there and then having everything falling back into place with just one smile. Have you ever felt like everything was going to be ok just by looking into somebody’s eyes? Have your cheeks ever warmed up from just sharing a knowing smile with somebody?’ He chuckles almost self depreciatively. ‘Because having that somebody squeeze your hand, letting you know they have your back no matter what is the biggest ing cliché and all the same the best bloody feeling in the world. So that’s why I’m here.’

Joohyun’s mouth dries up at the speech.

‘Don’t ing lead her on,’ Chanyeol Park mumbles exasperated, nearly falling over to the side. He has clearly had too much beer.

‘Pardon?’ Joohyun stiffens, looking up from trying to rearranging Seungwan’s head on her shoulder. The poor girl will otherwise not be able to move her neck the following day at all. She catches Chanyeol looking at her actions intensely.

‘Ok, listen…’ He puts down his bottle, clearly conflicted so as to whether he should speak his mind. ‘You shouldn’t be doing this.’

‘What’s this?’ Joohyun frowns, not quite understanding. The boy points to Seungwan.

‘It’s probably not my place to interfere but I swear on my guitar, if I don’t say something I just know that Wan will get hurt eventually and I won’t be able to do anything about it. I’m ing done with standing still while my friends are bleeding.’

‘Are you drunk, Chanyeol Park? Perhaps you should go back to your own room-‘

‘Do you know why I don’t like you? Because Seungwan is ing in love with you and you? You just don’t care.’

Joohyun falls silent, shell shocked.

‘You don’t know what you’re-‘ Chanyeol just charges forward.

‘You’re all she thinks about all day long. She’s ing depressed over your one cold look and on cloud nine when you send her a kind smile. I don’t know if you’re straight or in love with Jesus, or whatever, but you need to get a grip.’ Once let lose, there was no stopping Chanyeol Park. ‘I don’t know what your problem is but you’re messing with her head so badly, you really need to back off.’

‘You’re making me uncomfortable,’ is all Joohyun manages to squeak, still painfully contracted and her face burning in embarrassment. There is no way to simply walk away, not with Seungwan’s head still on her shoulders.

‘I’m not expecting you to love her back - , even understand her feelings - but you have to stop that act. Have mercy enough not to give her false hope. It makes me sick to see her turn all shades of red when you give her the time of day-‘

‘I don’t care about Junmyeon… Well, no, I do care about Junmyeon. But right now I’m not here for him. I’m not going to show him my face at all. I’m just here for support and if Sehun wants to, I’ll take him back with me first thing tomorrow morning.’

Joohyun has no time to further reminisce the conversation that ultimately formed a bizarre camaraderie between her and Chanyeol Park because she is brought back to reality by the frustration in the other’s voice. This is also most definitely not the time for shocking self-realisations so she pushes thoughts of Seungwan Son aside, trying to again focus on the matter at hand.

‘Yixing, does Sehun know that you’re here?’ She interrupts his rumbling and he shakes his head almost sheepishly, his cheeks still red at the somewhat embarrassing heart to heart he just had with his boyfriend’s sister.

‘I thought he might feel burdened. Like I said, it was a spur of a moment and I didn’t exactly think it through…’

‘Do you at least have a place to stay tonight?’ She asks, probably unnecessarily so because the silence following the question is response enough. She sighs. ‘Firstly, you need leave.’

‘I’m not leaving without seeing Sehun.’ Yixing frowns, immediately opposed to the idea.

‘You most definitely cannot see him now. The whole family and the Kangs are inside, waiting to have dinner together.’

‘Where is he?’

‘That’s the part I’m not sure of,’ the girl admits, looking around as if her brother would actually appear out of nowhere in the dark. ‘I’m beginning to suspect he is actually hiding in his room. I wouldn’t be surprised,’ she adds quietly. She turns back to her companion. ‘Can you find a place to stay tonight?’

Yixing points to the main street reluctantly.

‘I saw a B’n’B down the road, shouldn’t be a big deal to find a room. Dad gave me his credit card just in case, too. I guess he predicted how this escapade would actually go down and didn’t want me to end up without shelter.’

If only all parents reacted that way to the news of their biual son going on a rescue mission to the protestant house of his gay boyfriend.

‘Listen, I know this might be hard for you, but Sehun needs to be here tomorrow for the wedding so can you please come and see him after the ceremony?’

Yixing Zhang narrows his eyes, now looking seriously displeased.

‘Did you not just hear a word I said? I’m not-‘

‘You know I didn’t want him here in the first place but he’s come back and now he needs to be there tomorrow, standing in the front row, whether he wants to or not. This is just how our world works. After that you’re welcome to invite him to your place for the rest of the break and I’ll do my best to pacify my parents but if the congregation doesn’t see him standing at the altar with the rest of the family, be sure that cutting his school fund will be the least of your problems.’

Perhaps the boy finally notices the sincerity of her speech because he backs down, taking a moment to weigh his own words.

‘This doesn’t seem right.’ Joohyun only shakes her head in hopelessness.

‘Sehun’s eighteen birthday isn’t for another few months so I’m afraid that as unfair as it sounds, you’ll just have to endure if you want to keep seeing my brother.’

Joohyun does find her younger brother in his own room, quietly watching something on his cell. He raises his gaze to her but almost immediately re-focuses on the screen. It is so much more difficult to be a good sister when they are back home, back to square one, surrounded by what makes them ten times more vulnerable and prone to antagonising each other. She promised that she would be there for him but it is still infinitely easier to say no to strangers at school than it is to their own parents.

She can tell that Sehun has noticed her reddened eyes but chooses not to comment on her sobbing. They also never mention the situation that occurred in the morning. Joohyun is aware that Yixing will most likely take him away tomorrow and is even glad for it. But that also leaves her on her own in the house with people who seem to no longer trust her.

She goes back to her room after another awkward dinner, excusing herself with a stomach ache. Joohyun sees Seulgi actually turning her head as she leaves the room but she has no mind for her once best friend tonight. Only one thing can probably make her feel a little bit better.

She calls Seungwan.

Even though the night before she did successfully stop Yixing Zhang from disrupting the mare of their familiar peace, she is not surprised when he shows up in the morning in front of the church. She has no time to deal with him – she can only hope that Sehun does not learn about her involvement because as on edge as he already is, he will not appreciate keeping the two of them away.

Sehun himself is already in the church, refusing to be more than a passive observer in what he regards as one big circus. Junmyeon is clearly at his limit because he, too, does not want Sehun to be there but pastor Bae is adamant about his youngest child’s participation. It is obviously not benevolence but rather display of authority, just as Joohyun predicted, and if Sehun does not yield, there will be consequences. Finally, Junmyeon stands up and leaves to get some fresh air, unwilling to get into the argument between his two relatives. His bride is on the other side of the bench, looking quite numb and he himself seems to be beyond nervous. He fists his shaking palms tightly at his sides.

Chanyeol Park and Seungwan Son arrive at the parking lot in front of the chapel, with the boy stopping as soon as he can, leaving the vehicle at an awkward angle that will surely prevent other guests from parking to his left. Seungwan shuts the door loudly, sprinting to where they last saw the commotion. Her friend is close behind, slowing down only enough to assure the locked door for it is one thing to take your father’s car without permission but another to have it stolen because of your carelessness.

Junmyeon and Yixing no longer fight – and probably for the best, seeing how more and more guests of the congregation are now passing them by, looking at them suspiciously despite having recognised the main actor of today’s event. Neither newcomer is privy to the fact, but Yixing Zhang is still donning the same set of clothes from the night before, his unusually unkempt curly hair and dark circles testament to the lack of rest. Seungwan stops a few metres away, suddenly not so keen on interfering anymore. The last thing that Joohyun would want is for the two to create a scene, so Seungwan narrows her eyes, looking for any signs of further physical escalation of the conflict but the two are merely staring each other down, exchanging words that Seungwan does not hear nor wants to be part of. Chanyeol seems to be of the same opinion because he elbows her lightly to get her attention and pointing to the door, taking steps in that direction. Seungwan sends one last look towards the groom and his once best friend before following the drummer.

The mood inside is no better. The church is big, but the echo carries angry whispers all the same, if not better. The hall is quite full at this point, all eyes on the pastor and his quickly souring son rather than the altar where they probably should be. The adult’s hissing is uncomfortably mixed with his offspring’s rapidly rising tone of voice, not really caring who is listening or where they are.

Joohyun is there, clearly having given up hope on trying to separate them and now hopelessly watching from the side. Seulgi Kang is in her arms, having some kind of panic attack, the way her body shakes no longer fully able to support its owner. Seungwan approaches just enough to appear in Joohyun’s line of vision. When the elder does spot her, it is a silent but all the same desperate cry for help. But more importantly, Joohyun looks like she is almost relived to have her school roommate there; like she did not expect but simultaneously counted on the other to appear and relieve Joohyun on the sole responsibility for handling the event.

Chanyeol is merely standing behind Seungwan, gaping at the situation at hand.

The argument escalates to the point where even the kindest soul is in no position to ignore it and is gathering more and more attention from the crowd awaiting the mass. Between seething Sehun, his enraged father, frustrated Joohyun and hyperventilating Seulgi, there is only one thing left for Seungwan to do.

She locates the closest mic a few feet away on the stand prepared for whoever usually accompanies the prayers on the organs and grabbing it tightly, she starts singing. She hums to the only song that she can think of as appropriate, considering they are in a holy place.

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little prayer for you…

What? She wants to scream at her idiotic best friend who instead of helping her divert everyone’s attention, is simply staring at her as if she has grown a second hand. And he is in good company, too, because even Sehun and his father have finally noticed her presence, momentarily ceasing their fire to try and comprehend the situation unfolding before them.

While combing my hair, now
And wondering what dress to wear, now
I say a little prayer for you…

Chanyeol finally comes to his senses and makes a move to grab the acoustic guitar perched against the wall. Seungwan does not know if the equipment is a fortunate coincidence or the Baes simply ordered a band for the occasion, but her voice suddenly sounds infinitely better when accompanied, even if the instrument does not appear to be perfectly tuned yet. As she approaches the chorus, she gains a little confidence.

Maybe it is the small smile that thankful Joohyun sends her way.

Either way, Seungwan finishes her little improvisation, trying not to pay attention to just how the two of them must look, jamming in the middle of the congregation with their crazy hair colours and mismatched clothing completely inadequate to the occasion. And yet Chanyeol, never afraid of attention – even the wrong kind – is behaving as if this performance has been completely scheduled and he has practiced for it the entire week. Seungwan is trying to keep up with his enthusiasm, but she still feels mildly awkward at having the whole congregation’s bewildered stares on her.

Not to mention at seeing Sehun’s jaw hitting the floor at the sudden interruption. Even Seulgi Kang has stopped sobbing.

‘Hey-! Hey… Hello.’ Her voice breaks at the greeting, having realised that the initial one came out too strongly and nearly deafened the present company. She lets out a nervous chuckle. ‘We’re friends of the bride and groom’s.’ Nothing but a fat lie right under god’s nose. ‘And we will now sing another song to celebrate while you guys are waiting for the main event. Yeah.’ Ok, that sounded more like something that Seungwan would say to a bunch of teens in her academy than a crowd with the average age of forty but the unexpectedness of the act was enough to draw the attention away from the unpleasant scene in the making. Sehun, not quite sure what to make out of it, simply sits down – perhaps finally concluding that it just is not worth the hassle, after all. His father leaves in haste to tend to last minute preparations.

As the first few notes of Love is all around come out from under Chanyeol’s fingers, Seungwan notices the warm smile that Joohyun sends her while still trying her best to accommodate Seulgi who is now discretely powdering her face, still red. The younger basks in that warm feeling for a bit longer before concentrating on the song; she does not dare look at Chanyeol, though. She knows exactly that he is grinning hard, playing the song by ear as he remembers it from Love Actually, changing the lyrics in his head accordingly, and she really does not want to burst out laughing.

Right after that, they play Doria Roberts’ Perfect (mostly because they have been replaying it in the car earlier on) and this is how a song about lesbian love finds its way to the Christian wedding and its unsuspecting participants but to be honest, only the duo seems to be privy to the irony. And either way, the Bae wedding will inevitably become a scandal not forgotten for many, many years.

Seulgi and Junmyeon eventually do get married, and Chanyeol observes in near whisper that they are rushing through the ceremony as if the girl were to give birth any moment now. Strangely enough, Junmyeon comes back in one piece just in time for the beginning of the mass and Yixing Zhang is there too, standing at the back and looking almost serene. Sehun decides to comply – fiercely prompted by Seungwan and Chanyeol who coo at him until he scoffs, exasperated – and stands up to serve as his brother’s witness and ring bearer.

Chanyeol takes a photo to send to Tao Huang and, after a moment of consideration, also Jongin Kim. They will surely not let him live this down.

After the ceremony, their families leave immediately for the humble reception in the Baes’ back garden – their house is only two streets away. Sehun and Yixing stay behind to talk and waving her suspicious looking father away, so does Joohyun, opting to walk Seungwan and Chanyeol instead. They do not say anything until they reach the Subaru; and even then the elder seems to be lost for words. After a moment of silence, she does the only thing that seems appropriate at the time: she gives Seungwan a long hug which allows her to express her thankfulness all the same.

Chanyeol clears his throat rather loudly when the embrace does not cease for some time, sending the two girls a knowing smirk which has them part reluctantly and with an undeniable blush. Then, to his shock, Joohyun hugs him also, shortly but tightly.

‘You guys saved this wedding from spiralling down into a disaster,’ she finally says, smiling at them. And then, looking more to the boy, adds. ‘You’re not so bad.’ Although he tries to appear unaffected, Seungwan thinks that she sees her best friend’s chest puff up from the praise and she grins.

‘You know that Yixing is here, don’t you,’ Seungwan says more just to fill in the awkward silence that has arisen among them due to the open display of affections that they are in reality so unused to. Joohyun only sighs, looking at her companions pointedly.

‘You guys don’t know the half of it.’

A/N: Thank you again for helping me get featured and all the nice comments, and the support of my other WenRene and otherwise stories. Have a good day!