Judge's Corner— QuirkyLand
ESCAPE — An EXO Writing Contest | RESULTS ARE POSTED!Hello everyone! Here are my comments on:
> Wishing for a Purpose, ann1914
Title/Foreword/Description:
The title has great ties into the overarching theme of the story and the emotions of the OC.
The description is sets the stage well and gives just enough information to jump straight into the story.
Grammar and Effective Communication:
This story reads very easily. The story is largely centered around the emotions and mental state of the OC and as such, the story is very descriptive in the Hanna’s thought processes.
Well Incorporation of Prompts:
The prompts could have been incorporated into the chapters more, but the concept of Angel Chen fits the prompt of a pair wings providing escape away from Hanna’s own problems very well.
Unique and Eye-Opening Plot:
Once again, I loved the idea of Chen being her sort of guardian angel, able to come down and distract Hanna from herself and offer support as best he could. The concept of a “Suicide Prevention Squad” from heaven is pretty unique as well. The story is also just a great reminder that you never truly know what another person is going through. Everyone deserves kindness.
Characterization and Development:
Chen is a pretty constant character in this story, and it’s honestly what Hanna needed. He is well fleshed out though, with his kindness, humor, and magical hot chocolate that he shows Hanna.
Hanna is well depicted as a human being. The story delves into her struggles and honest reactions to everything. There is a time of healing as well.
The narrative revolves and opens many conversations of mental illness and suicide, which in of itself brings a bigger working of ideas together. However, I think the execution of these ideas could be revised more. As a reader, there’s not much progression in Hanna’s emotions/thought processes. This could be part of your intention to emphasize the self-bombarding feelings one could be overwhelmed with, but you could add just a few more moments of clarity or relatability to have your characters appear even more human. The ending was vague on purpose, but I think you could have also portrayed that message in a different way.
Overall Impression:
Not gonna lie, this story is sad. But it could also be seen as an idea of comfort to imagine Chen, or some type of guardian angel, to check on you when you’re feeling down.
I believe this piece was also very personal and as such I left out as much criticism possible.
> Red Lines, Nina
Title/Foreword/Description:
The title of the story is great. Its overall concept is quite simple but stems from something less predictable once you get into the plot, and shifts your perception of that character more.
Honestly, the description was a bit confusing to read at first, but once you’ve gotten into the story and come back to the start, it clicks more.
Grammar and Effective Communication:
There were a few grammatical errors throughout the story, but nothing that prevented me from understanding and enjoying it. The story was very cohesive, and every scene had tons of details to support whatever was going on.
Well Incorporation of Prompts:<
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