In Amber's head (finally ^^)

She's the one. The same Krystal I used to know. I was so sure of it.... Does she have to know? I didn't want to ruin what we had already. But I didn't know what to do. Based on her poem, she still loved the old me that she considered a boy. It felt like I was competing with my old self. Unpleasant situation.

Oh well, I might put those undesicive plan aside to enjoy the winter sport available in this trip. That day, it was ice skating. I would look lame and pathetic in this sport. Skating ahead was already difficult for me; my balance is the same level as those mother ducks- unless they're in water they won't trip over just like me. I prefered skiing actually, the media is soft snow unlike ice-skating which is done on hard ice.

Being pessimistic all the time was why I hang out around Luna. We balanced each other out. The best bestfriend I could never have. If I thought about it...Krystal was opptimistic too. Then what had really happened that changed her into a unreadable cold ice. Was that what I did to her? Yeah, I should tell her. Tell her about everything... To put some closure in her mind. I hoped my birthday wish come true... I wanted to make her happy.

"I can't wait!!" Sulli struggled to put her skates on. The laces are extremely long; tighten them up was a real hard work.

"You should do it like that" Krystal taught Sulli the best way to tie the shoe skate laces.

"It's not your first time is it?" Sulli asked.

"It's not."

"Thank god we have an ice-skater expert among us!" Starting to dance on her own, Luna patted Krystal shoulder. I was curious about how good Krystal could possibly be.

"Come on let's go." Krystal offered her hand. I thought she was adressing to Luna behind me. I turned my head. "Yeah i'm talking to you Amber." I felt so happy. I may like this sport even more. Her warm hand in mine, I found the rythme of the skates. Krystal was fabulously good. Though I wanted to be in same pace, my unabilty betrayed me. Krystal resolved to skate backwards in order to hold both of my hand hence guaranting more balance to my body.

"Krystal? How do you go inside the ice arena?" Luna was begging for Krystal help. She hold the edge of the arena with all her heart.

"Go. I can hold onto the edge of it." I said half heartedly as I let go of her hands.

"Okay." She rushed in a the most beautiful controled way. Not the kind of speed that frightened people but the kind of speed that the world watch, holding its breath. How was I supposed to do to be as perfect as her? I sighed.

"She's damn good! Let me tell you that." Luna stated that as she was starring at the ice beneath her, like waiting for her fall to come. Krystal hold Luna's arm and yet Luna couldn't adjust her skating posture. "Krystal I'm so sorry. You must've been pissed helping us around."

"No, I don't mind at all."

"Come on I'll let you skate as you please until we reach the other edge."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Yeah, I couldn't wait either. I wanted to see her skating in her own.Funny how the two of us hold onto Krystal as if she was the last bottle of water on earth. She leaded us smoothly and gently. Everything she did on ice came out beautifully.

"You're all mean... leaving me behind alone." Sulli caught up our pace.

"See? You can help yourself. You don't need help while I struggle standing on ice." Luna said.

"As long as you're with us now." I needed to calm the mood down.

"Here we are. Should I let go of you?" Krystal stopped skating.

"Yeah go ahead Krystal you have 5 minutes." Luna showed her hand right in front of Krystal, to indicate 5 minutes.

"Don't do stupid things while I'm gone. Understand?"

"Uuh the ice queen and her orders. Yes ma'am!" We said.

She went off. The sounds of the ice as she moved, sounded like a musical harmony. The tracks of skates behind her formed perfect curves. She was flowing and blending with the ice... More reason for her to be called ice princess. When she spinned ,her hair unveiled its beauty, moving with the wind. I would want to watch her like this everyday.

"She's so perfect." Luna complimented Krystal.

"Yeah she is."

Later on....

"Krystal, I needed to talk to you."

"Oh that's a first." She put her sport bag down.

"So how should I begin..." I paused. "You know the scar in my head?" I bent down to let her see.

"Yeah I did notice it when I cleaned your hair full of paint."

"Well I had a surgery in the past. A brain surgery."

"That would explain the scar."

"No I'm not finished yet. I almost die because of my brain tumor at the age of seven. Back then I was in america." She listened, worrying about the outcome. "Two months before the surgery with a tiny survival probability, I met a girl in the park. She always played in the sand box. Her name is Krystal."

"So you're telling me that...the girl you're talking about.."

"Is you. Yes."

"He's you...?" I noticed some tears flowing out. "No that can't be it. You're a girl"

"A girl that could easily pass for a guy. Fine then. Ask me anything."

"The first word he said."

"Whoa I never met such beauty." That moment she frowned at me with teary eyes. I wanted to hold her in my arms.

"Why didn't you tell me?! I thought you left me for good!" She was angry, pushing me away.

"I just found out myself."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't dead? Why? Do you have any idea how I dealt with your leaving?" She kneeled down hands in her face. Seeing her like this, tears escaped my eyes. "I stopped waiting for you. It's over. 10 years Amber. 10 years. It hurt too much, you ruined my childhood."

"Krystal..."

"Let go of me. How can I possibly do the same mistake all over again." She ran away. Only god knows where. Damn.... Krystal, I will always love you. Always. No matter what. I don't deserve such person... She's too good for me, too perfect for me. I don't deserve a second chance either way.

I wanted to be dead in that surgery.....At least she would be happy no? I didn't regret telling her this. I couldn't keep this away from her.