You were breaking apart. There was a limit to all the kind of nonsense you could take. This online chatroom about you being not good enough was killing you. Slowly, but surely.

Big Bang left Korea for their Asia Tour 3 weeks after the news broke out. No goodbye-s, no information, nothing. Seunghyun did not even try to contact you. Was he serious about the bull contract he was made to sign? Was he going to just let you go without a fight? Were you really not worth the fight? What the hell, Seunghyun, whatever happened to forever?

One month later, you were a wreck. And that's the understatement of the year. Min claimed that she could hardly recognise you. Sajangnim was just glad you managed to shed those extra pounds and looked even skinnier than before. Seunghyun.... well, he was just not there. Why would he be there for you? It was just you against all of them; all their judgemental stares, all their words that stabbed you. You just can't win.

You heard news of him coming back once or twice, yet not once have you met him. It didn't help that both of you were practically living in the same company. He was avoiding you and he was pretty darn good at that. You thought time would heal, and that sooner or later all these scars would fade and the cuts, both emotionally and physically, would heal. But you thought wrongly, as usual.

The harsh comments still stuck on to you like parasites, your life away. You were losing it. Crying yourself to sleep, if that mere 1 or 2 hours of eyeshut were known as sleep that is, cutting yourself at places others will never see, just so the pain will go away. The starvation part was not part of the plan though. You did not even realise that you were doing it. You thought you were eating too much. The words the netizens used to describe you rang in your ear the whole time. Fat. Ugly. Short. All you wanted was Seunghyun to be next to you. Telling you that he missed you, he wants to be with you. But he just was not there.

Your 30 days were basically spent in the dance studio and the studio. You wanted to prove them wrong. All of them. You wanted to be good enough for him to come back to you. So you trained and trained and trained. Skipping meals here and there. Screwing up your body clock. You were pushing yourself way too hard. But that was still not good enough for you. Min wanted the old you to be back with her. She missed being crazy with you. She missed you so much although you were just there. She was the strong pillar that was supporting you. You were so thankful for someone like her. So, so thankful that she haven't gave up on you.

Pictures of him and Yuri grinding on the dance floor appeared on the gossip magazine. Pictures of him sending some unknown girl home and bunking in with her was revealed. Pictures, pictures and more pictures. Sajangnim had to be a jerk and a full time bastard by showing them to you. He wanted you to give up. He wanted you to be happy. He wanted you to move on. You gave up. He was just never going to come back again, right? So many pretty and y girls surrounding him, you can't win them at all. You can't even get pass yourself.

Sorry if this looked a bit disorientated. I tried writing but I was facing lots of school work (really i miss the holidays already) and I have no idea how to continue this. That kinda explains why this chapter looks so disorganised.

I am welcoming suggestions on the storyline guys.......... I am really lost. This was supposed to be just a one shot ( hehe) but I guess how about a 4 chapter-oneshot instead? or what i really dont know anymore :'( AM I TALKING TO MUCH LOL BYE IM OUTTA HERE