“I said I’d get you a hot chocolate, okay? Just a minute.”

“Okay.” I mumble under my breath and take a sit on the fluffy couch right beside the table full of different kinds of colored and delicious-looking sweets. It notably tells me that my friend is not exactly having a much better night than me, either. For some reason, this is the silky happiness brought into her life by what she tresures mostly when she cannot seem find her own way to reach it. Or when she is simply over-depressed over something. I can easily tell tonight is one of those frosty nights and especially by the way she offered me one of her guity pleasures, I knew she noticed my uneven mood, as well. In fact, I cannot even plainly remember what bought me at this place right now. It feels like I only woke up just in the second I found myslef knocking on the door. Notwithstanding, there is somewhat a thing I could simply picture without a blurry vision to block it away from my thoughts – I guess it was really over now, right?

It wouldn’t make too much of a difference, anyway.

As much as I quaintly want to continue lying to myself, there wasn’t even a little something in between, so there wouldn’t be anything lost in the end. Yet, the harsh words spoken were nothing but nonsense. From the fact that I realized I never had the actual opportunity to really find out what’s hidden behind his elegant outside look. Was he getting tired of something in particular? Or, was it something personal? I would go with the second choice; who made me agree to this situation? It was me, of course. But mostly, who made me continue it despite all the obvious rejects and stubborn personality I was exposed to for the past few days. It was still me, no doubt. At least, I don’t have to go through all of this anymore; no more useless efforts, no more regrets. He was the one who strongly decided to keep his thoughts at bay – everything shut down to a level he wouldn’t be able to reach out for by himself. Was it also the night I lost a friend forever?

“Here you go.” Yun says as she placed two big cups of hot chocolate on the table in front of us with a smile playing on her milky face.

“Ah, yes.” I nod and reach forward to grab one of it in both of my hands. “Ouchie~ that’s hot.” I quickly put the cup back on the table, surprised that I manage to keep the steamy liquid remarkably inside and blow fresh air on my fingers.

“Watch it out! I just made it, Ms. Head-in-the-Clouds.” she laughs, poking at my arm as a warning, drawing in circles. “How clumsy can you still get?”

“Hey!” I gap and then nudge her softly until we both burst out into a terrible laughing fit. This feels better than it ever felt. But still, “So, I thought your mood isn’t the best today, huh?”

“Hmm… What made you think so?”

“What else?” I shrug, looking around the room. “This!” I say pointing at the table full of sweets.

“Oh, that! I was just wondering.”

“Really? Weren’t you trying to get rid of another explanation round?” I shortly growl, chuckling slightly. She will chicken out sooner rather than later.

“Me? Then what about you? Isn’t it what you’re doing at the moment?” she asks in defeat, raising an eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

“W…What? No, I’m fine! What could be wrong with me, anyway?” I fake a small laugh and take the hot cup into my hands at the attempt to let the warm sensation go through my shivering body. No way I will end up being the center of attention. Not tonight. “What’s up with this cold weather lately? Brrr…”

“Don’t change the subject!” She purrs with a serious look on her face.

 

Oh boy! Trouble. Crap.

 

“What do you mean?” I ask avoiding eye contact, keeping my nose down to smell the sweet fragrance blowing out of the cup. 

“You know what I mean.” Yun trails off tapping her foot, making it obvious she was waiting for some random excuse to come out of my mouth. Or worse. Some sort of story I knew I wasn’t able to disclose right now.

“Huh?” I shrug, finally looking up at her, in hopes my poker-face is well plastered on. “Oh yeah. Who doesn’t smile when they see a table full of colored sweets, right?”

“Yah! Are you joking me?” she scoffs and drops her cup, turning her entire attention on me. Not a good sign. From previous experience.

I pout at her and shake my head from left to right. “Didn’t you say that you eat when you’re sad?”

“I did. But we weren’t talking about me here. Seriously now, didn’t you think I would realize?” she sighs with concerned eyes, patting my shoulder. “Even at this late hour of the night, I still know you.”

 “I-it’s late?” I ask dumbfounded, glancing at the table clock to search for the time. “Oh my…” I gasp. “It’s midnight!”

“Yeah,” she quietly says, nodding. Too quietly for my own good. Bingo! “exactly!”

“Time flies! Hah. I’d better get going.” I trail off, trying to gulp all the remaining liquid. “Thank you for the treat, though.” After wiping my mouth clean, I sit up with a grin.

“Is it Jiyong, again?”

“What?” I can feel my eyes going wide, a frown replacing my earlier smile. “Nah, it’s n-not. I was just wandering around and wanted to see you.” I lie and give her a thumbs up smiling slightly.

“Are you sure?” she asks cofusedly, narrowing her eyes. In this moment, I know I should work harder on my poker-face expression. “Isn’t he bullying you anymore?”

“Yeah, I’m sure he isn’t. Plus, we’re over with that game anyways.” I wave my hand in response and pick up my belongings while making  my way towards the door.

 

Sweet escape, coming up!

 

“At last!” she furrows her brows in anger, clenching her fists. “His temper didn’t have a good effect on you.”

“Um, I guess.” I respond and bite on my lower lip. While slipping my coat on, I wish for the Earth to fall open at my feet. “I’ll just go now. Take good care and have a good night.”

“Oh! Good morning, you mean?”

“Ah, making me feel bad again…” I answer and look down awkwardly.

“Boo, I was just trying to bring back the good mood,” she chuckles. “you sure you don’t want to stay? It’s late and your self-defence isn’t the best.”

“Right, you and your lame jokes.” I laugh back, nodding my head at her words. “And… I don’t know, I will catch up a taxi. Thank you, anyway. And before I forget, you’ll be surprised of my self-defence improvement.” I smirk after we hug goodbye.

“Yeah, right! Be careful, eh? Just don’t go ninja on anyone.” she yells at me, pointing her index finger in the air.

“I will, mom. ” I shout back and wave her goodbye.

 

--- 

 

The unsual relaxing stroll has helped me release the tense energy floating above in a way, despite the freezing air that embarced my whole body as a helpless prisioner as soon as it made a slight contact. My expression turned into a nervous frown as I take a glance at my cellphone.

15 missed calls. 9 new text-messages.6 new voice-mails.

What now? Can you not? I slip my cellphone back into the pocket of my jacket and release a heavy sigh before stepping on the waiting bus without a tiny interest in checking out whoever was calling me for or what for they truly needed me, in the first place. I would eventually find some lame excuse to tell tomorrow. I don’t bother looking for an empty spot as I knew no one would travel with a bus at this time of the night. So I just take a sit next to the dusty window I first lay me eyes on and use it to rest my head against it. Moreover, I just blankly watch the night scenary surrounded by a strange navy blue color and flashing lights of the city without any thought running in my mind. I find a massive pressure that covers my already blurry vision like a damp cloth; something I could never be able to see through. As follows, the enchanting world quietly pictured swings wonderfully into the back of my most delightful fantasies. It introduces me to a melodic rythym and I listen to it in order to keep it lively for as long as possible. It blocks me from tasting the sour morning I would get lost in, the large yet hallow crowd I could never fit in without thundering glares being shot in the direction of my trembling figure. Thereafter, the once fluffy clouds transform into the previous purple-ish ones, shortly followed by a vibrating sensation that overtakes my whole body until my forehead hits the window I was resting on. I notice I fell asleep in the lonely bus that was also taking me to a destination I wasn’t even aware of. I turn my attention back to reality and search for my vibrating phone that I had previously trown into my pocket. I harshly rub my eyes at the attempt to clear my vision and look at the bight flashing lights indicating the caller ID.

Seungri.

Why is he calling me at this hour for? I title my head to the side with a blink when it suddenly stopped ringing. As I was thinking of what should I do next and whether to call back or not, it starts vibrating again.

Youngbae.

I pick up the call with a sigh and ask into the phone. “Oppa?”

“____-ah? Finally.” He says, breathing as a sign of relief. “Where are you? I thought you were dead.”

“Me? Ah…” I purse my lips together and look around briefly. “I don’t know? Somewhere, I guess.”

“What? How come?” he quickly asks, a tint of worry audible in his voice “Don’t worry me, okay?”

“I’m riding the bus, oppa. I should get home soon.” I assure him and let out a chuckle. “Don’t worry too much.”

“Really?” He adds, followed by another sigh. “Is Jiyong there with you?”

“J-Jiyong?” I widen my eyes and fell back into my sit taking a glimpse of the empty bus. Him. “Nope, he’s not. Why?”

“You mean you’re there all by yourself?” He almost screams in panic. I could sense him cluching on his phone tightly, “At this hour?”

I laugh louder. “Chill, oppa!”

“Yah! Is this funny to you?” he hisses with an angry voice, scoffing after. “I’m serious!”

“Yep. Your response is always funny to me, oppa.” I chuckle, standing up when the bus stopped. “I’m getting out and heading home now. See? I’m good and legal.”

“I know yet not sure about it.” he mumbles into the phone after a short silence. “You just love making people around you worried, also.”

“Hey! You’re the ones who worry without a reason.” I groan, getting out from the bus and start walking forward. “Nobody said you should carry me into a bubble pop.”

“Yah!” he scrowls.

“Woah,” I gasp. “you never really called me “Yah!” before. Yet you did it two times in what – 2 minutes? Who are you and bring my oppa back!”

“You made me do it, okay?”

“Whatever.” I reply, slowly rubbing my free frozen hand. “Was this all you called for?”

“Yeah,” he admits. “I was wondering where the two of you could be when it’s so late.”

“The two?” I furrow my brows at his words and sigh. Now I understand. Him. “Ah! yeah…”

“So, why isn’t Jiyong there? Weren’t you supposed to meet up?”

“We met.” I simply answer, closing my eyes for a second and waiting for him to drop the inquisition. Now. Please.

“And?”

“And, what?”

“Why aren’t you with him right now? Where is he?” he adds curiously.

“How could I possibly know where is he?” I mutter, searching for the door keys into my pockets. “We separed a while ago, anyway.”

“Seriously?” he growls with surprise.

“Umm…” I nod, making my way towards the couch before jumping on it, streaching my hands up tiredly. “Let me sleep now, would you? Let’s talk this later.”

“You’re home already? Ah,” he sighs deeply before continuing, “Alright. I’ll scold him later for not walking you home. I need you safe.”

“Eh, why?” I yawn, blinking a few times. “Save it up for yourself. I’m all good.”

“No way, next time I’m making sure he will be less clumsy. ” he points out laughing slightly. I sense a change in his mood and I relax somewhat.

Falling back into the comfy sofa and rubbing my temple, I chicken out and finally say it. “There won’t be a next time, so keep it in.”

“What do you mean? Something happened?” he asks quickly. I know all he feels is concern, but for the millionth and perhaps not the last time, I wish the Earth will fall open at my feet.

“Nothing unusual,” I speak, shaking my head. Where was he, though? “It just happened.”

“What happened, ___-ah?”

“I told you,” I mumble, snapping my eyes open at the flashing memories. Just the obvious. “nothing big.”

“Are you… sure?”

“Y-yeah,” I gulp. “we… just talked. Can I go to sleep now, oppa?”

“Oh, yes!” he spits out suddenly and I know I’m winning. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“Hah, I don’t believe you.”

“Tsk. You don’t have to. Just meet me in your dreams.”

“Since when have you gotten so cheesy? Ew,” I wrinkle my nose and laugh. “Have you been brain-washed by Seungri?”

“Yah! I cannot say anything now?” he protests sullenly, letting out a gasp. “Go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay,” I reply quickly and before I have any second thought, I find myself screaming. “Yah! Youngbae!”

“What did you-?”

“What?” I ask immediately, cutting him off with a laugh as if knowing I was throwing my own anger at him. “Just go find your lost friend. Don’t think of calling me too soon, eh?”

“You’re weird. But I’ll let you alive.” he chuckles. At least he’s amused. “Go ahead.”

“I’m not that dumb, you know. Just hang up already.”

“You first.” He says, laughing while I just clear my throat waiting for him to continue. “Okay, okay. See you soon. Hopefully.”

“Uh-huh, I doubt that.” I laugh. I know it will take some good time for me to leave my hibernation phase, all over again. “And just to make sure, you wouldn’t be that happy to see me if  I catch you stalking me in my dreams.” I finally speak into the phone, trying to use my best serious voice before hanging up the phone. My only wish right now is to plop in my fluffy bed, close my sore eyes and drift to sleep, at last.