Of course the time to actually go back home came around, but you still had an amazing time, because during the last night there your friend just decided to do a sightseeing trip with you and the boys; during the night-hours it was so dark that you could barely see anything, but it still felt amazing just being there laughing together and talking.

The flight back home was less interesting; same movies to pick from the last time you flew and it were mostly movies that literally anyone would have already seen at least once in their life. So Hongbin, N and you talked, while Ravi, Hyuk and Leo slept. And unfortunately Ken couldn't participate in your conversation, because he was three seats to your right with Leo sleeping on his shoulder; no luck for him.

Coming home felt refreshing though. The boys immediately started washing their dirty clothes, grocery shopping, cooking and so on. This left you with enough time to take care of a few things.

You went to your office, which looked kind of dust coated now, which was a big reminder to clean that. Probably. More likely tomorrow.

You put your backpack on your chair and started rummaging in it to take out the most important stuff; pencils, your notebook and an eraser.

There were pages over pages laying around. Most of them were scattered on your desk and you didn't remember leaving that much stuff on it, but most of the time you were in that room, you were either half-asleep, newly awake or anyway far far away in some other dreamworld.

You picked up the top layer of the pages, which mostly looked like drafts, that were never going to be finished; but just in case they were, you put them in one of your desk's drawers. The second layer were some older and smaller pages. They were little notes you and your friend would write each other while the other was out of town. Mostly things of what happened and how you both felt. Rereading them is always a lot of fun, because it actually reminded you that you had at least a few people (maybe only one but who cares) you were close too and not how you always thought not part of this 'real world'.

You stopped going through the little messages when you noticed it was getting dark outside. Better clean this stuff up, so that you can continue with some work after dinner. You wondered what there would be today, but decided that being surprised would be better or you were not going to get anything done today.

You put away the little notes and finally went on to the lowest layer or rather the most difficult to decide what it is layer. Those were mostly different types of papers; different texture, lined, blank, a bit burned, smudges, stains. Anything was possible with those. They could either be completely useless and stupid ideas or they were the best thing you ever put down on paper. There was no in between.

You huffed and dug your way through disappointments and the loveliest little short stories. How were you supposed to decide what to do with all of this? Trash. Drawer. Trash. Trash... Trash. Drawer. Maybe drawer. Trash. Trash. Triple trash. Drawer. Someone help you.

Ken was baffled. He couldn't believe what he had heard. How could                do this to him? How could the other boy think that he could get through with it. The blond shook his head and sat down in utter disbelief. No, this just couldn't be.             would never betray him. What would he tell the others? He just didn't know.

He walked along the beach with nothing but palm-trees with coconuts and on the other side the bright blue ocean in sight. He felt a bit depressed. No one was there. He felt as if everyone was starting to betray him. He didn't feel comfortable in his own skin. There was no trust.

Finding out the truth about                       was the worst thing that could have happened. He wasn't quite sure how he could look the others in the eyes; in the case that he would ever find them. Which seemed a bit impossible by the way he was stumbling in the sand.

Tears were welling up and he just didn't know if he could keep those feelings bottled up on the inside. Ken quickly brought the sleeves of his jacket to the tears sliding down his cheeks. He felt hurt and in worse pain than a sword could ever do.

“Ken!,” a voice rang through his head, but he wasn't sure if he didn't just feel a bit delirious because he had been out in the sun too much. Then he heard it again a bit closer. Again once more a bit closer. Closer, closer. It sounded so familiar.

“Ken,” the voice came out from the boy standing behind him, who had put his hand on his shoulder. Ken didn't want to turn around to see him. But the boy behind him had other ideas as he kind of forced the blond to turn around.

Ken sighed in relief. At least it wasn't                  . Though                       wasn't really any better in this case.

“You look a bit out of it. Are you okay? Is the heat getting to you? I've been searching everywhere for you. I was so worried. , , , were worried too, you know.” The other male was really out of breath but surely he was way too happy to feel exhausted. His search had been tedious and full of obstacles, so finding the blond was a goal he had fulfilled. The rest of the boys would probably be proud of him, he thought.

“Let's get back to the others,” he said to Ken, who looked very reluctant.

The blond stared at anything but the other boy. He felt stressed and full of fright. He tried to move a bit back and get the other's hand off of his shoulder, but                         wouldn't let him.

Laughed. “It's okay Ken. No one is mad.” Then he ruffled the blond's hair and went.

Impressive, you thought as you read through the draft you had found. It seemed a bit messy and full of angst. That wasn't normally your style, but every good book needed a few downs to make the ups stick out.

To your surprise the names had been erased, which was weird, because you really couldn't tell who the blanked out people should be. You had your little ideas but rather put the half-ripped piece of paper away on the chair standing in the middle of your office.

“Hey,” Hyuk's voice rang behind you, and you flinched because you hadn't expected somebody to come inside. “Sorry,” he quickly added and smiled at you shyly. “We were thinking of having dinner in like five minutes and I was supposed to tell you.”

Then the tall boy saw the paper laying on the chair and moved closer with a spark of interest in his eyes. You moved more quickly, blocking his view from the in your opinion badly written piece. You smiled up at him when he looked at you with wide eyes as he took a step back.

“I'll be right there. Don't worry. I'm almost done. Just had a little bit of cleaning to do,” you explained and he smiled.

“Oh yeah, I see that. There's dust literally flying around the room. Ever thought about getting on of these new undusting-machines? I don't know what they do, but for this room I actually think they could be really helpful. It's just a suggestion, let it go through your mind.”

“Hey! You be careful. I'll let you know that I haven't tried to get rid of the dust yet. Multitasking is not so much my thing. Only one thing at a time; at least that way I don't accidentally put the bowl for cereal in the cabinet in the living room,” you countered.

“That was one time!,” he said loudly as he held both of his hands in front of his face in shame.

“Yeah, you tell yourself that. I'll take a picture next time as evidence. Now go, I'll be right there,” you told him as you pushed his shoulder a bit.

“Okay. But hurry a bit. Ken seems a bit down. Leo can't seem to cheer him up, so your our best shot,” Hyuk said before he left.

You nodded even though he couldn't see it anymore. Then you let your eyes travel down to the piece of paper. Why didn't you want him to see it? You felt nervous just thinking about it. Your throat was dry and you could barely breath, so something was very wrong about this.

You grab the paper and shove it in one of the drawers of your desk. You didn't want anyone of the boys to see it. There was this mushy feeling and it came from your stomach went through your heart and right through the brain.

Maybe you should burn it?

No, that was a way too critical step. You'll just see what you will do. Quickly, you got rid of the rest of the papers on your desk and felt happier when it was finally empty. The deep breath you took was all you needed to calm down a bit. Why were you nervous? Why was there this bad feeling?

You looked through your window. The street was the same, so were the trees and everything else you remembered. Maybe a bit more graffiti on the walls, but you liked the colorful paintings which were always very creative.

You reached out to open the window, but in the last second stopped, breathing a bit more unsteady. Your hands were back at your side, without having opened the window. You were too scared. Of what, you weren't sure.

The dining table had been set and the food was being served. It was only pasta, but it was probably Leo's pasta made with a lot of passion and love for cooking, and maybe some murderous attempt towards N from the way the boy was holding the kitchen knife dangerously close to the red head.

“Hi, everyone. I'm here,” you announced and six set of eyes were on you, as they all immediately made their way over to the table, sitting down quicker than you thought was humanly possible. As if they hadn't eaten at all during the last week.

“I see. You were all starving and I'm a horrible person for making you wait,” you said in a ridiculous tone.

“Of course you are. We are grown men. We need to eat. Our cycle of burning all the calories we eat is a bit quicker than yours, so it's just plausible that we get hungry more easily,” Ken announced with a chuckle beforehand. At least he was feeling better now.

“Is any of the stuff you just said scientifically proven?,” Leo asked curiously.

“Nah, don't think so. But it did sound very believable, right?,” the blond questioned proudly, raising his chin high to show some fake kind of arrogance, which made everyone at the table smile and Leo lightly hit him on the back of his head.

The blond laughed softly, but not as long as he normally would, which showed you that there was really something bothering him like Hyuk had told you. He was just trying to cover it up.

Not long after the plates were occupied by delicious food, the mouths were only opened and closed to chew and eat, and there was a comfortable silence around the room.

“So did you have fun cleaning that 'room of doom' that you call your office?,” N asked putting air quotes way too much, but it made you smile anyway.

“The room is not that bad,” you tried to save your office from the harsh words, though you knew they were very very true. “It just doesn't see a lot of sun.”

“Oh come on. You say that you have everything in order in there but you still need hours to find anything. Remember that time I asked you for that quote from this really popular book with the wealthy man who dies in a pool. You couldn't find your Quotebook even though you had been looking for it for three days,” Hongbin spoke with a friendly smirk on his face.

You shook your head with a smile, but of course they didn't stop talking. They were too passionate about that topic.

“I remember once trying to clean the room with you, but we kind of gave up after ten hours of trying to order the books alphabetically, but every time we thought we were done more books kept on appearing simply out of nowhere. It didn't even make sense anymore,” Leo added to the discussion.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! I've got something!,” Ken vocalized. “We once moved the ancient carpet on the old wooden floor and found a small little hiding spot under the floorboards. The was this old little chest and we were soooooo excited to see what's in it, but in the end there was only like two bucks in there, so we put the chest right back and the carpet back over it.”

“Oh! I didn't know of that,” N exclaimed.

“Me neither,” Hyuk pronounced.

“Okay, Okay. I know it isn't the cleanest or in any way in order, but I find what I need and that is actually enough for me. If you so desperately need to know something, google it,” you saved yourself from all the blame.

After that announcement the boys quieted down and went back to eating peacefully. The only one who hadn't uttered a word at all was Ravi, who also hadn't looked at anyone. His face was unreadable and you felt the urge to ask him what was wrong, but you felt like it wasn't the right time to do it. He appeared to be lost in his daydreams.

The cleaning afterward was mostly done by N, Ken, Hongbin and you. The other three concentrated on finding a good movie on TV, which wasn't easy, especially because it was right during the week.

You were polishing a glass when Hongbin and N announced that they would help the rest find a movie everyone would enjoy. This was your chance to talk to Ken, who still seemed to be behaving a bit bizarre. Then later you'd be able to talk to Ravi and then you would hopefully feel better.

“So what's got you so down?” Wow, great question. That wouldn't make anyone feel awkward as soon as they heard it. Ken was the living proof how badly you voiced your concerns, because he suddenly stood stock still with his shoulders hunched over. You couldn't see his eyes but you bet if you could the blond surely wouldn't be looking at you.

“I'm not down,” he said after a while of silence. “I'm just a bit confused. And maybe also... I don't know. Something's weird. I don't feel like myself, though I am. I am here, but it really doesn't feel like it. It's as if this is all a dream and nothing... I'm not sure. It's strange. As if I'm not in my own head anymore. I don't even know what I'm saying. All this feels so foreign.”

Your eyes grew big and you stared at the boy whose head was sinking lower with every word he spoke. You could feel that strange feeling flying around the room, but it didn't just come from Ken's words; it was as if it had already been there but you were only able to feel it when Ken told you it was there.

“I'm not scared or anything,” the blond continued. “But... This... This is not how it should be. I have this feeling that something is wrong here. This apartment doesn't seem like our own anymore. It's as if someone has intruded a room without knocking and then just left without explaining anything or even saying 'Hi'.” He took a short breath, his shoulders lowering themselves and he peaked over his shoulder to look at you.

“Am I going crazy or insane? Isn't that what happened to all of those characters that left us? I don't leave, but it feels so cold in here. The warmth I always felt was replaced. It's as if I'm freezing and nothing warms me up and I actually know I'm not freezing.”

You moved closer to him and put the glass you were holding on the counter. You turned his body around to face toward you and the you just hugged him. He was stiff at first but easily warmed up to it, because Ken really loved skinship and any sign of affection from you was the best thing in his whole entire life, because you were always careful with hugging your characters, because you didn't know if it could make them disappear.

“Thank you,” he whispered. His voice sounded very raw, as if he was close to crying. “The warmth is back. I felt cold just seconds ago, but now I feel warm. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your our warmth. I didn't know that you were the warmth around here. Thank you. Thanks for sharing with us.”

He hugged you more tightly and you started moving your hands up and down in a soothing way, saying “Shhhhh” every once in a while when your heard a sob escaping his mouth.

When he let go you patted his head and after that little gesture Ken beamed brightly and reciprocated the gesture a bit more carefully, to test if you would allow him that. You smiled at him as reassurance.

Just then Leo came in without a word, grabbed Ken by the wrist and dragged him to the unoccupied couch for two people and sat down with him. It was a childish way to say 'You belong here with me', but Leo couldn't show his affection for people in words so he mostly did so with actions and Ken didn't mind, because he happily sat next to the slightly taller boy.

You smiled and then left the kitchen to join the others, while the movie started. Next to you was N who was seated next to Ravi and next to the blue haired boy were Hyuk and Hongbin.

Ravi still wore that rather blank face, not even the twitch of his lips at a funny part in the movie.

This got you thinking. Maybe Ravi was scared, just like Ken was. Maybe all of the boys were scared but never actually voiced it. They never told you those things, because they didn't want you to worry, but now that you knew that even the most naive boy noticed that something was off, you were sure that the others felt it too.

Well, that was a good way to ruin movie night with dark thoughts.

You will have to talk to Ravi. And then rest.

Author's note: Hahahahahahahhaahahahaha. I may have been told that an update is kind of overdue and I think so too and I really want to apologize to everyone who had to wait this long. I am sorry. I don't know how fast the next chapter will come, but i hope this chapter is interesting to make up for the waiting.

Ohaiyo out~~