"In this cold weather, I met you."

The last time I see you, was longer than what you remembered. That night, I spend my time taking care of you while you're asleep. Although I'm curious about you - what's your name? Why're you outside? Are you cold? - I let you rest. And by the time you woke up, you said you need to go. You look like you're in a hurry. 

I asked your name. But you're already by the door, so I guess you didn't hear. But you bid a quick "Thank you. Merry Christmas!"

I can say that that Christmas was the most memorable one.

If you can change, can I too?

Have you ever felt like you want to see someone but at the same time you don't? Each day you think of that person, you're always wondering why you'd want to see him, take care of him or talk to him. I'm feeling it right now. Love between friends, love between family, love between strangers. Which one is it? I really don't know.

The doors of my room suddenly opened as I look up into your curious eyes. I wanted to ask - Why're you here? Can you tell me your name? Do you remember me? - but the only thing that comes out from my mouth are the words, "Welcome back."

---

Luhan. So that's your name. Luhan, my new roommate. Luhan, my beautiful stranger. Luhan, my hyung. Hey, I'm starting to love it.

Weeks have passed and we're getting closer. You're Chinese, you live in Beijing and you wanted to be a singer here in Korea. I asked you why, you said "Just because." But I didn't believe you. 

One time I wanted to invite you to our prom. I prepared my speech three times a day. Because of course, when it comes to you I want everything to be perfect. But each time I tried talking to you, I get nervous and chicken out. The day I had the guts to actually invite you, you said you can't come because you have something important to do. But I didn't believe you.

One time you're already asleep after I came out of the bathroom, I secretly played with your phone. I wish I didn't tho. Because your wallpaper is something I shoudn't see. But I guess luck's not with me. Now I know something I shouldn't know. I tried asking you who is he, you said he's just your friend and it's not like I care. But I didn't listen. I didn't believe you.

One time Jongin, Kyungsoo, Jumyeon, you and me gathered in the living room. Junmyeon said we should mark every Sunday in our calendar as our bonding time. We spent that afternoon watching movies and playing board games. Jongin suggested that we should play Spin the bottle. I wish he hadn't, because when the bottle points on you, you choose Truth, I automatically ask if you're seeing someone.

And guess what? You said yes.

I asked if you think he or she loves you. You said "Of course". But I didn't believe you.

They asked if it's a guy or a girl. You just said you're gay. They asked if he's hot, you said Of course, I have high standards. They asked when did you got together. You said just last week. 

I asked what his name is. Even though I know I shouldn't.

"His name is Zhang Yixing".

I didn't believe you because I saw your tuxedo with a little sticky note that said "For Xing's Prom day". I didn't believe you because you're always smiling everytime that particular call comes.I didn't believe you because I saw you wearing the ring that looks the same as Jongin's. I didn't believe you because the day when I invite you to our prom, I saw you talking to the phone while saying  "I love you Yixing. I promise I'm going to sing for you."

I didn't believe you. And I'm lucky I didn't.

Because baby, I'm not the angel you thought I am