They say that letting go of someone you love is the right thing to do. If you're not the source of their happiness, set them free. It's a matured thing. But sometimes, not everyone wants to be mature. Not everyone wants to let go. Because you cling on that 'love' so much that it's hard to be untangled from it. Is it wrong to be greedy?

But, can you tell me the reason why every time you love someone, you can't see those who loves you?

---

You think that you're the only one in pain, but what about me? Why aren't you thinking about what I feel? Maybe I shouldn't pretend that I'm okay whenever I see you. That way you'll know, that my eyes that's looking at you are already full of tears. That my lips saying 'everything will be okay' is already quivering. That my heart that's waiting for your love, is already tired of waiting.

Jongin, when will you look at me?

"If you can change, can I too?" 

Hey Jongin. Do you remember that time when I asked you what will you do if I said I love you? I didn't know you're that dumb, but you said "Of course I'll say I love you too". And I asked "why?" 

"Just because I love you too."

P.S. I bet that the only one who had a thumping heart was me.

Hey Jongin. It's nearly Christmas. You said we'll go skate, just the two of us. You don't know how excited I am that I'm 1 hour early.

By the way, I've prepared a gift for you. It's not something special but I wish you'll appreciate it. Remember those dancing shoes you want to buy but you have no money? I bought it for you. Hey, I've worked hard for it. I don't poop money you know. I also wrote a song.

Because today's my D - Day.  I'll finally confess to you.

P.S. Do you have a gift for me too?

Can you still remember the day we first met?

Because I still do

I've always watched you behind your back

I'm wondering why you still don't know

If I say honestly

Would my heavy heart feel better?

After I confessed everything

What if we become awkward?

Looking in the mirror

Count one

Count two

Hi?

Do you have the time? I have something to tell you

Let's meet now. I want to ask you something

I'm saying this by gathering my heart

So please answer honestly

Will you go out with me? I've waited for so long

Why don't you go out with me? More than just friends

Because I do I love you

Even though I practiced many times

I can't help but feel nervous

What can I do? I become frightened

If I have to do it, I'll do it now.

Making a call

Count one

Count two

Hi!

At this moment

1 minute and 1 second feels longer than yesterday

Please say something instead of just smiling.

Will you be like that? What's so funny?

Why're you like that? I am serious.

I'm saying this by gathering my heart

So please answer honestly.

Hey Jongin. You're an hour late. Where are you? Are you okay? Did something happened? 

P.S. I'm waiting.

Hey Jongin. You're 3 hours late. What're you doing right now? You'll come right? Right. I don't mind waiting for you. I'm used to it anyway.

P.S. Do you remember that one time you thought I don't have any gift for you? You're face was hilarious af.

Hey Jongin. It's cold here you know. And the owner said the place will close in an hour. I really want to try skating. Just, where are you?

P.S. Still waiting.

Hey Jongin. Let's just skate another time. I'm tired. I look like a fool here. I'm waiting for nothing.Guess you're not going to come.

P.S. Merry Christmas.

Hey Jongin. I accept your apology, it's not like I'm mad at you at the first place. I'm just dissapointed and well, sad. It's okay. I realize that you'd want to spend time with your boyfriend. I shouldn't come in the way of your happiness. I'm a pretty boring person too. Who'd want to hang out with me right?

P.S. Now stop whining, you have a boyfriend for the sake of Yixing's abs.

Hey Jongin. Are you okay? I told you we shouldn't play Spin the bottle. Don't worry, I'll murder Luhan hyung first. Then I'll let you kill Yixing hyung. It'll be our own little secret just like that time when you paint Junmyeon hyung's underwear with pink. 

To be honest, I don't know if I'm mad at them. I'm more mad at myself for being happy that you and Yixing broke up. I'm bad right? I'm not an angel afterall. You see, I'm being greedy for you. Your smiles, your touches and your attention. I want them all for myself. Is this love ? Or an addiction?

P.S. It's both. Anyway, I'm here if you need me.

P.P.S. Stop crying. It hurts me too. :(