Pairing: Sunggyu/Woohyun

Summary: Sunggyu wants the whole adventure he often reads in textbooks and magazines; the rush, the adrenaline. But instead, he’s got a job that no longer excites him and a life he feels uncomfortable living. A strange herb tea is all it took to make his dreams come true and meet people who feel oddly familiar. Sunggyu is scared to admit he has fallen in love with a boy he doesn’t know and has never met before, or so he thinks.

Warning: Mention of major character death.

Genre: fantasy-ish?

Word count: 20,020

 

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Faraway

 

1 year is 365 days.

365 days are 8,760 hours.

8,760 hours are 525,600 minutes.

If we could call waiting as love, I would like to call you love too.

The soft wind blows into the room each time the front door is opened, little bell hanging over it, ringing softly as the clerk greets the customer with a smile, one that is too fake to reach his eyes. Said clerk, Sunggyu, tries to stop the yawn that threats on coming out, and feign interest in hopes that the customer would buy something before walking outside.

Days are long. They all are.

The sun comes up peeking through the buildings and goes down in the same manner. Sunggyu doesn’t mind how it shines and blocks his eyesight for a few hours, he dismisses it by thinking of something else. His hands fidget over his apron, cleaning off sweat or simply stretching after unconscious hours of clenching them in fists.

Every day feels longer than the last one, and he doesn’t understand why that is.

His mom calls sometimes. He doesn’t say much, never liked talking through the phone, or to her, for that matter. Even through the line he can hear the soft clicks of her tongue when he has finished talking about dull events that should probably excite him. He’s not excited, and she’s even less.

There was a time when Sunggyu liked his job. He liked waking up early and come down to the bakery, cleaning up for the chef that would cook tasty cakes which would sell rapidly through the day. He would double check the list of pending orders and joke with his coworkers when they’d say Sunggyu is a hardworking person.

Maybe it was when the chef was fired and someone new came along that everything changed. The change wasn’t that drastic per se, at least not enough to be the reason why Sunggyu’s life had a dreary twist. The new chef was nice, his coworkers kept smiling and joking— but they all reached a better point in their lives with better chances, better jobs, better days.

Somehow, Sunggyu’s stuck in his.

Sometimes he thinks it wasn’t then. He used to feel content with what he was doing, but he never felt alive doing anything in his life, or that’s how he remembers things. His childhood and High School memories are a simple blurr of random pictures, a broken television with static distorting the image.

He cuts a piece of a cherry cheesecake, softly placing it over a transparent plastic box and closing it with a soft click. The girl in front of him is subtly flirting with him, but he doesn’t realize it. Sunggyu just takes the money and gives her back her change, oblivious to her frown and bowing politely instead.

They (the chef, the old owner who sometimes covers some shifts to compensate for the lack of staff, and Sunggyu) sell a lot of flavours, from all types of cake rolls to coffee and banana cakes. They’re tasty, but old fashioned, if you’d like to say. New bakeries have been opening up in their street. Shops that sell cakes in the form of your favorite animal or character, each one cuter than the last. Their customers had decreased, or that’s what Sunggyu’s been hearing. He can’t seem to notice the difference from then to now.

Sunggyu’s favorite cake used to be Angel Cake. It was easy to make and even easier to like, but like everything else in his life, this too, had flickered.

It’s like he’s caught in time.

___

Three months after the owner had hung a NOW HIRING sign over the front door, a boy walks in. Sunggyu smiles out of habit, cleaning his hands on his apron for the nth time that day and lifting his eyebrows when the boy directly walks up to him.

The sign is in his hand, carefully laying it on the transparent counter over the mango and chocolate cake.

“I want to apply for the job.” The boy says, two toned cheekbones appearing when he smiles.

The day after, when such boy walks in again but with the same apron Sunggyu is wearing, he learns the boy’s name is Minseok.

Minseok’s a bit shorter than him and definitely chattier than Sunggyu had ever been. He always has some questions to ask, some jokes to tell, some stories to share. Sunggyu wonders if the other is uncomfortable with the silence Sunggyu leaves everywhere he goes, so he feels responsible to fill it in with something he’s not interested in talking about.

Minseok is in his last year of university, studying film. He talks about his projects with Sunggyu, maybe expecting some feedback in his liberal ideas on the filming area as if Sunggyu knew anything he was talking about. Or maybe he just wanted to vent out, Sunggyu thinks, lips wet with saliva and hands moving up and down, right and left, excitedly explaining something. Either way, Sunggyu limits to nod and give short answers.

___

Sunggyu daydreams at work.

He thinks about Canada’s National Park, mountains covered in white topping like brownie cakes, blue lakes long and deep and the smell of pines that he would very much likely get drunk in.

There’s a traveling magazine inside his backpack, the corner of a page folded in, briefly summarizing why you should definitely visit Vietnam’s Ha Long Bay and enjoy some scuba diving, or admire the beauty of nature in their numerous little islands with green spots all over it, reminding him of a rock with dampt moss all over.

Sunggyu wonders how it’d be like to see the Aurora Borealis, to admire the soft smeared colors in the white sky. He thinks about it when Minseok drops some food coloring onto the floor and slips in it, and back in different tones of green and red.

He helps Minseok get up, and despite the fact that he had ruined his uniform and there wasn’t a spare in the store, Minseok just smiles up to him.

“Hyung,” He breathes out, “you’re smiling.”

This is the moment Sunggyu realizes that Minseok has been working on the store for over a month, and this is the first time he has seen him smile.

___

One day, they hit it off.

Sunggyu isn't sure how it happened or why Minseok would be interested in him in the first place, but soon he finds himself tasting his lips, discovering that they're softer than they look. But it's not like Sunggyu has been staring at them because, in reality, no, he hadn’t. Minseok was handsome and flirty and nice to talk to (or more like hear), but Sunggyu, not for a single second, had given himself the chance to fantasize about him.

It occurs on one afternoon, Sunggyu can't say which one of the week since they're all alike, but it must've been on the weekend because Minseok doesn't seem rush. Instead, he takes it slow, the ing, the kissing, the touching. Sunggyu doesn't reject him because although he didn't really think a situation like this would ever happen, he doesn't dislike it either. Maybe he's stupid enough to not realize Minseok has been sneaking peeks at him with interest for the past weeks, but he's not stupid enough to know he should take advantage of the situation.

He's not very sure where this is going, not even when Minseok finally pulls him out of the kitchen and closes the shop an hour earlier, sure that there wouldn't be any pissed off customers anyway.

They go to Minseok's apartment and continue from there. Sunggyu takes his waist, unsure where to keep his arms but convinced that leaving them hanging would kill off the mood for himself. Minseok tangles an arm around his neck and the other pushes their hips together, grinding until Sunggyu's body natural reaction sets off and he's hard under his pants.

The bed is soft when Minseok pushes him on it and the stretch between his legs hurts enough to let a quiet tear slide down the side of his face. Minseok treats him with love and care, so Sunggyu doesn't dare to voice out that it hurts, waiting for the pain to vanish on its own.

Somewhere along the way, the physical pain does vanish, and the pure and raw need to satisfy his desire and arousal emerges and stays in its place. But even as Minseok s into him and brushes near that particular bunch of sensitive nerves, he feels empty. Filled with Minseok, but empty with apathy.

He comes before the younger, and Sunggyu's groans are barely audible under the other's.

He’s missing something.

___

Sometimes it’s hard to sleep at night.

Because he doesn’t feel tired about the yet again slow day he had at work (but not as slow as before, the owner had expressed, Minseok is getting us quite a clientele), sleeping becomes a bliss. The old shows in the TV don’t help much and neither does the chamomile tea he drinks before lying down. It makes him drowsy, but never enough.

Even the nights when Minseok takes him to his apartment or uninvitedly breaks into Sunggyu's, he can't quite catch sleep. The younger sleeps with his arm around Sunggyu's waist and snores quietly, hinting Sunggyu that he feels the most comfortable here, in his bed, with him.

He doesn't have the heart to admit out loud that it isn't the same case for him.

He tries not to think about the millions of adventures he’d like to do instead, because that only makes him sad. He doesn’t have the money or attitude to actually leave everything behind and climb the Mount Everest like his heart is telling him to do so, (although he doesn’t feel like he’d be leaving anything important behind if he ever gathered the courage). But it's hard not to daydream; he wants to visit Japan, get up in the Tokio Towel and look down at the people walking in the street, little dots that’d remind him of chocolate drops on the white topping.

When he turns around in his bed, he wonders what it’d be like to be lying down in a train, uncomfortable by the unyielding wood boards and the constant movement of the wheels under him, but feeling filled with the mere fact that he's doing something new everyday, future uncertain. He would peak at the moon through the wood boards with a much more positive sigh than the one he’s making right now as he looks at the moon through his bedroom window. A content sigh, not a dissatisfied one.

In these dreams he often has, even in the middle of the day, he’s never alone. He only manages to make up a male figure without any features. Standing on top of an Iceberg, throwing himself into water from a high place, enjoying the sight of lights in the sky, he sees himself doing all these things with a hand intertwined in his and a second person always standing right beside him.

Even in the dreams where he feels he’s waking up but he’s still inside his dream, he faintly hears the voice of a boy whispering in his ear, “Hyung,” with a chuckle and playful tone as arms wrap around his waist, “you’re cute, do you know that?” but then Sunggyu really wakes up and he finds no one besides him, not even Minseok.

At first he thought he might be imagining Minseok with him in these adventures, but that male figure has been there with him ever since he started dreaming about these wild adventures. It leaves him feeling hollowed at night, as if restless wasn’t enough.

Something’s got to change.

___

It happens two days after, when Sunggyu’s finishing his shift and Minseok is starting his. The younger greets him with a kiss on his cheek, Sunggyu isn’t sure what those innocent kisses mean, doesn’t want to either, so he just lets it happen without questioning much. Before Sunggyu can leave, he talks.

“Hyung” Minseok mutters from behind him, and Sunggyu looks back at him, arms circling his own waist to undo his apron. He doesn’t answer to the call, but Minseok knows he’s paying attention. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Yeah” Sunggyu answers, leaving the apron over the counter.

"I, uh, had to go pick up an order, but I totally forgot." He half laughs. Sunggyu understands what he's trying to say, but just stays quiet. "Can you pick it up for me? It's already paid, but the lady said if I don't go today, she would resell it."

"Okay." Sunggyu answers. "Where do I go?" Minseok perks up at that, and Sunggyu, instead of feeling in love or even moved, he feels a pang of discomfort setting at the bottom of his stomach. Why did he say yes?

Half an hour later, he walks through the busy streets of Seoul, bumping into strangers and bowing slightly in apology. The people either bow back or simply ignore him, continuing their course. His attention alternates between the little paper Minseok gave him and his phone with the Naver Map app. The shop isn't supposed to be very far from their own, but it's hard to find, according to Minseok.

He has to ask to at least three people, and it's only the third one that points him to the right establishment, hidden between a Tattoo shop and a bar.

When he walks in, the smell of herbs is the first thing that he notices. The second, that it's too gloomy and somehow sinister, a place he wouldn't come in, not even by mistake. It gives him a weird familiar vibe, as if he had been here before, even though he knows that’s not the case. The shop is filled with boxes and jars with juices he doesn’t want to stare at for too long, scared to see something he’d like to unsee. He wonders how Minseok would find a place like this, and what he would even be buying from here.

A woman walks through the strips hanging from the back door, and stares at Sunggyu with confusion and a little annoyance, and then her eyes open up a little, as if in some kind of realization, yet her mood remains the same.

"Why are you here?" She barks, not even trying to hide her discomfort. "I'm about to close the shop."

"I came here to pick up an order" Sunggyu answers, trying to sound polite enough. "Here." He offers the 2nd piece of paper Minseok gave him earlier, a crumbled invoice.

She hums as she puts on the glasses hanging on her neck, and eyes Sunggyu with distrust.

"Why couldn't he come?"

"He's working." Sunggyu answers truthfully.

She scoffs. "So he finally found a job?"

Sunggyu doesn't answer, he doesn't want to engage in a topic he wouldn't have anything to say about nor he want to hear about. The lady is quick to understand and takes off her glasses to take out a jar of herbs hidden under the counter. She then proceeds to look for a box to pack up the jar with, and Sunggyu looks at the jar in the meantime.

"What is this?" He asks, more to himself, but the lady hears him.

"Herbs" She plainly answers. Pft, as if it wasn't obvious. "They're for tea."

"What are they for?" He then asks, this time more louder.

She eyes him with much more distrust, obviously not wanting to answer his question. It's none of his business, and Sunggyu's about to apologize for his uncalled intrusiveness when she says, "Shouldn’t you know already? They’re for sleeping. You open the 7th door when you drink their essence."

It's really hard not to frown in confusion, but Sunggyu somehow manages to. He doesn't ask more questions, too scared for the answers they'd generate.

She finishes packing the jar, putting some black tape on top of the box and giving back the invoice. Sunggyu figures she isn't talking to him again, because she turns around to arrange some loosen things when he takes the rectangular box in his arms.

But two steps before the door, he hears her add, "Don't take too much. Just two or three per cup. We don't want you to fall into temptation again."

___

While Sunggyu offers Minseok to go back to the shop and give him the box, the other tells him that it's fine, he should go back to his apartment and Minseok would pick it up tomorrow. Sunggyu doesn't want to have an argue and he senses Minseok is quite nervous, almost as if he was waiting for the moment Sunggyu would ask about the meaning of those herbs. But Sunggyu isn't interested in the answer for such question, so he agrees and bids goodbye through the phone.

His apartment is dead silent and pitch black when he steps in. No surprise.

He takes off his shoes and places them neatly besides the pair of khaki boots he bought a few months back, in the spur of the moment. He had seen them in the display window in a shoes shop and instantly fell in love, daydreaming for two solid seconds on how those boots would look on him if he ever dared to start one of his infinite adventures. The boots were there merely to create a mental pressure, but unfortunately, Sunggyu was yet to feel it. He was instead still stuck in the same dull routine with a beautiful pair of boots, getting dustier by the day.

Sunggyu steps into his kitchen and leaves the package on the counter, ready to forget about the existence of such thing and fixes himself his supper.

But the package is all he can think about as he changes into more comfortable clothes and places the pot over the flame to heat some water for ramyeon. He sits across the kitchen, eyes on the box until the water starts boiling.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Once he has taken the jar out of the box and has opened the lid, smelling the distinct aroma from the herbs that really resemble potpourri, all the will to oppose to the temptation vanishes from his system. He's sure Minseok wouldn't get mad if he fixed himself a cup, but even if he did, Sunggyu wouldn't really care.

He pushes three herbs down with his spoon and watches the water turn brown-ish, the peculiar smell, one he can't quite relate to anything yet, filling his lungs and kitchen with the scent.

Unsure, and until the steam had lessened, he takes an iffy sip.

If he couldn't find a word to describe the smell, he finds himself much more lost with the taste. He wants to say it's like tasting peach tea, but not quite. It's not as sweet, with a tiny tingle of sourness even though he didn't put anything in it. It's weird, but not necessarily revolting.

He keeps on drinking from it until he feels drowsy enough to believe he’s able to fall asleep. The cup is almost completely empty when he finally lies on the bed and closes his eyes.

___

When he opens them again, he's not lying on his bed. He's not even lying, for that matter.

He's facing the dawning sun, standing up. When he looks down, he finds himself standing on sand, using the boots he has kept on his entrance for the past months. His attire is different, instead of his pajamas, a comfortable white shirt and short jeans.

Convinced that this is the best and most realistic dream he's ever had so far, he keeps on looking far away, admiring the thin line where the sea ends and the sky begins. There's an abandoned little boat rocking in the water, tied by a rope. The salty water smells just like how he imagined it would, and his heart fills with content as the seconds pass by.

He vaguely remembers the tea he drank before going to sleep and pinpoints the thought to buy some for himself.

But the thought is cut short when he hears a sound behind him and finally realizes he's standing two steps away from what could be the best representation of a fresh and untouched-by-mankind selva. A male form appears from between the tall plants. He's in the middle of a heated contentious with a rope, grunting low curses to himself as the rope tangles more and more with itself.

Sunggyu walks obtusely over the sand until he's following the other male who looks just his age. "Hey, excuse me" he calls.

The other turns around, deep frown in his face forming at the sight before him. "Who ar— whatever, I don't care."

Sunggyu must have a funny question mark in his face, because the other simply scoffs at him before turning around again, resuming his fight.

"Do you know where are we?" Sunggyu persistently asks, and feels dumb for doing so.

The other male doesn't turn around again, but he does answer, "if you don't know where you are, then I can't be much help"

"What? Why?" He says.

"Does a cat say bless you when you sneeze?" The male answers in a question, getting on the boat and giving up the fight with the ropes.

"What?" Sunggyu says again, confused. "No?"

"Exactly!" He points excitedly.

"What does that—"

"Look," the other sighs, "I don't got time, either you get on this boat and help me with this rope or you stay here with your useless questions."

Sunggyu isn't sure what's the right decision, but for the first time, he says what the hell to his thinking process and proceeds on getting on the boat.

"What are you wearing?" The other frowns when he has pushed the boat offshore and sits adjacent to Sunggyu.

He stops fumbling with the ropes and looks down at his boots. "My boots."

"Why?" The other frowns. "We're at the beach, not a mountain."

For the first time, he says something that makes sense to Sunggyu, so he starts taking them off.

"You're just like Howon hyung" The other mutters under his breath, and Sunggyu simply frowns at him.

The other male rows peacefully, not crossing eyes with Sunggyu and basically ignores his existence. Sunggyu's wouldn't dare to complain at the silence as its filled with the sound of the calming waves. The sun is yet to rise much more, so the light isn't piercingly annoying as it should.

"So," The other starts, still moving the oar. "Tell me boots boy—"

"My name is Sunggyu." He interrupts.

The male stops rowing at the sound of his name, and looks at Sunggyu with an indecipherable look. "Huh." He simply says, and resumes rowing.

"What?" Sunggyu asks in confusion.

"Nothing." The other avoids his eyes.

Sunggyu wants to be persisting about it, but decides otherwise. "And yours?"

"My what?" He asks nonchalantly.

Sunggyu sighs. "Your name."

"Oh. You can call me Sungyeol."

 

Sungyeol looks like the chatty kind of person, his mouth itching to ask and comment things to Sunggyu. But instead of voicing out his thoughts, he groans, staring at Sunggyu with obvious distress. Sunggyu really wants to ignore him and enjoy the ride, even though he doesn't know where they're going or why.

At some point, when the shore is off sight and all Sunggyu can see around him is an endless ocean, Sungyeol decides to stop.

"Okayyyyyy" Sungyeol says, dragging the y. "Boots boy— I mean, uh, Sunggyu hyung, c'mere and help me."

Sunggyu wants to ask why’d he address him like that when they barely know each other, but as seconds go by and Sungyeol looks like he didn’t really think much about what he said, he realizes he doesn’t mind. It doesn’t feel wrong, but the complete opposite, as if it were true to being with.

Positioning his feet on either side of the boat, he stands up, just like Sungyeol. Then he's surprised by looking at the other taking off his shirt.

"What are you doing?" He asks in shock at the sudden strip.

Sungyeol looks back at him like he just made the most stupid question. "We're gonna get us something to eat. Now, lose the shirt."

Without much argue, Sunggyu follows the order, and is relieved to see that Sungyeol isn't interested on watching his now exposed torso. He's instead looking for something in the white bag Sunggyu didn't realize he had until now, and takes out a sharp, pointy blade. By accident, he cuts his hand with it.

"" Sungyeol hisses. There's blood coming now from his cut and Sunggyu means to get closer and help, but Sungyeol only shakes his hand and looks back at him. "I'm a'right, it's just a scrape."

"You sure? That looks pretty-"

"Yeah, yeah, it'll heal in an hour or two, don't worry. Here, take this" Sungyeol offers him a second blade. "Be careful, you could cut yourself," he adds, proceeding to laugh his off as if it was the funniest joke.

Sunggyu looks bewildered at him.

"What?" he asks, cleaning off a little tear. "Loosen up a bit, hyung. It'll be fine. Now, come on, get on with it."

Then, Sungyeol is jumping into the ocean. Sunggyu looks into the water with fear, doubting on doing it too or just stay in the boat. But it's been more than a minute now, it doesn't look like Sungyeol will be coming out of the water and he didn't take any equipment with himself rather than the blade.

So, feeling responsible to save this unknown boy, Sunggyu clenches the hand that's not holding the blade and gathers the enough strength to force himself to jump.

When he finally does, he feels like it's different. Different than regular water.

Back at when he was a kid, he wasn't able to open up his eyes underwater. But here, in this dream or this thing that felt like a dream, he was able to open them with no problem. He looks at the wonders the sea hides underneath, amazed by such beauty that is hard to witness.

He catches sight of Sungyeol in the distance, swimming and chasing a shoal, getting amazed the moment Sungyeol throws his blade through the middle and injures some of the fishes. He's even more blown away when the blade returns back to Sungyeol, like a boomerang.

As if that wasn't enough, Sungyeol turns to him after picking up the fishes, and says, "c'mere hyung!" voice traveling through the water like it'd do through air.

Sunggyu starts swimming towards him, and after a few seconds of effort, he feels the need to open his mouth and breathe some air in. He's starting to swim back to the top when Sungyeol screams, "you don't need it!"

He doesn't understand what he means until he realizes Sungyeol's been opening his mouth to talk this whole time they’ve been underwater.

So he follows the action and opens his mouth, expecting to drown with the water, but instead, feeling how the water reaches just until the base of his throat but not an inch more, and his lungs filling up with the needed oxygen.

Amazing.

Sungyeol rolls his eyes when Sunggyu starts breathing deeply, astonished by the capability to breathe underwater.

"Are you gonna help me or not?" Sungyeol snaps at him.

Sunggyu helps Sungyeol on catching a few more fish, copying Sungyeol's technique with his blade and getting the hang of it quite quickly. They come back to the surface to leave all the dead fishes on the boat and Sungyeol proposes him to go underwater again for some sightseeing.

Sunggyu swims near the reef, admiring the beauty of the undersea creatures and laughing at Sungyeol when the other had tangled himself in some seaweed. He takes in his hand the cristaline sand, some beautiful shells without their freshwater snails, pieces of coral and even the little rocks Sungyeol laughs at himself for considering them as beauty.

He decides to not take anything at the end, always putting it back in its place.

Through the whole high of the occurrence, there is one moment where he drops down back to earth. He believes he hears a laugh, the most beautiful one, but when he turns around, looking for the source of such, he finds himself staring at the deep ocean. The moment so short he quickly forgets about it, but the discomfort stays for a few seconds longer, hinting him that there is something missing between all this beauty— something that’s sitting on the top of his tongue yet he can’t quite address just yet.

So he shakes it off, finally swimming back to the surface along with Sungyeol. When they’re sitting again on the boat, Sunggyu notices that Sungyeol’s missing the cut on his hand.

Sunggyu can't seem to find the way to shut up as Sungyeol starts rowing back to the shore. He finds amazing the way fish stay together, the different tones of blues as you look deep into the sea, the beauty of every single living thing, from the little fish with flashy colors to the ugly ones, large teeth sticking out in every direction.

The other just stays quiet and listens to him vent off his excitement, a smile drawn in his face. Sunggyu, for the first time, finds some joy on being on the other side of the conversation, being the one talking for a change.

___

Back at the shore, Sunggyu doesn’t seem to go back down to earth.

He helps Sungyeol tie the boat so it wouldn't float away, then he waits and see what the other does. Sungyeol places all the fish in a rag bag and holds it, throwing the other bag at Sunggyu who barely catches it by surprise.

"Follow me" He orders.

Sunggyu doesn't find an ounce of protest within himself, so he does as told instead, too curious and interested where Sungyeol could take him now.

So far, this has been one hell of a dream, feeling way too real to be one, but the memories of his actual life too vivid for him to think that this is anything but. He can't remember a time when he felt more alive, his body aching deliciously with the effort he pulled for swimming. Even now, as he walks through the enormous green plants, he feels the fatigue in every muscle of his body, too unused to these kinds of activities. But he can't nor he won't stop.

It's indeed the best dream he's ever had so far, and he hopes it'll never end.

It's a bit troublesome to look where to step as the bag is too big. Hugging the bag and feeling the form of his boots on the inside, he takes a peek at the ground, feeling his feet sticky from the water and now all the fallen leaves adhering to his feet.

On top of that, he’s constantly looking back, having yet again the odd sensation that something is missing in the whole picture, but no matter how much he looks for it, he already knows he won’t find it like that.

After a few minutes of the exhausting trudge, Sungyeol tells him they've arrived.

Sunggyu looks up to what could be the best treehouse ever made in history. It was a three story house attached to a very thick and broad tree, covered with walls and even windows (without the actual glass) and Sunggyu couldn't help himself but awe at it.

Sungyeol scoffs before him, "This is nothing," he belittles. "We had a better one but after the storm, er, well, let's say Dongwoo hyung just wasn't feeling the other one anymore."

"Who?" He asks, but Sungyeol doesn't have time to answer, because a new male comes walking down from a spiral stairway, too fast to catch sight of his face as of yet. He's wearing some clean clothes, shorts with a sleeveless shirt.

"You've arrived!" The male singsongs, happily. "What did you bring... us?" His happiness lowers for a moment at the sight of Sunggyu.

"Dongwoo hyung, meet Sunggyu hyung." Sungyeol says with a blow, walking past by Dongwoo and towards the stairway.

"Sunggyu hyung?" Dongwoo repeats surprised, and for Sunggyu it doesn't sound wrong either. "Welcome, hyung!" He says at last, happiness back on track.

Dongwoo helps him with the bag, taking it in his hands as if it weighted nothing. Sunggyu means to ask him how can he take it so easily like that, but he doesn't have the chance as Dongwoo is soon talking and babbling about the tasty fish stew he'll make this afternoon for him to try. He motions Sunggyu to walk upstairs first as he says that the days have been getting a bit boring and he'll be a nice addition to the team.

Sungyeol, from the kitchen, just looks at them from the corner of his eyes and chuckles to himself. Sunggyu finds himself not wanting to ask anything anymore, too pleased to hear Dongwoo's voice and laugh filling up the air.

Dongwoo then tells him something, but he talks so quickly and excitedly, a laugh bubbling between words, that Sunggyu smiles even though he doesn’t understand a word of what Dongwoo says. Sungyeol simply laughs at how confused Sunggyu looks right there, and he pats Dongwoo’s shoulder.

“Calm down a little, you’re gonna scare him away.”

After eating, Dongwoo invites Sunggyu to have some fun at a different part of the beach. Sungyeol is about to stay behind, trying to excuse himself with stomach ache after all that eating. But then Dongwoo says there’s no such thing as stomach ache here and Sunggyu realizes he doesn’t feel full either, and he’s pretty sure he served himself at least four times.

They dance at the beach with no music, simply letting their bodies take control of their actions for once. At first, Sunggyu had felt a little dumb, but once Dongwoo started laughing with his contagious sound, Sungyeol couldn’t resist to dance too, and Sunggyu would rather feel bad to be the only one standing still.

Even through the soundless music, he felt the need to look at his side, waiting for someone to be there with him, but finding an empty spot over the sand. He didn’t have the enough time to ponder over it, as Dongwoo started laughing louder and Sunggyu was compelled to smile back at him. Sungyeol pulled some weird moves, making both of them fall on the sand in big laughs, telling him to stop. Sunggyu’s tummy hurts and his eyes are watery from the laugh. Sungyeol smiles, and for his better judgment, continues.

Dongwoo decides to take a swim and there’s no one to complain at the idea. Sunggyu still feels energetic, ready for whatever activity Dongwoo felt like doing. Sungyeol, despite complaining quite a lot, followed along at the end, getting as excited as Dongwoo.

Sunggyu can’t get tired of breathing underwater and Sungyeol rolls his eyes when Sunggyu shows off some moves as they swim. Dongwoo smiles at him and signs for them to swim to a high rock. When they arrive at it, the three of them swim back to the surface and it’s only Sunggyu who gets surprised with an enormously tall rock.

“Let’s take a dive!” Dongwoo announces. He offers his hand to Sunggyu and he takes it without thinking twice.

___

Sunggyu wakes up without a warning, still feeling in his belly the delicious fish stew Dongwoo made, and the content sensation that stargazing left him, what the three of them were doing before Sunggyu had been involuntarily brought back to the humdrum reality.

First thing he realizes aside from comprehending that what he had was a dream, a really realistic one, is that there's an insisten knock on his door. Sunggyu cleans off the trail of saliva that was coming out from his mouth and raises up, sitting on his bed. He's still in a half conscious state, not here but not there either, and it's quite hard to identify the voice that talks through the other side of the door.

"Hyung!" Minseok bangs on the door, sounding irritated but not really desperate. "Are you up?"

Sunggyu's eyes snap open when he finally understands, and his first reaction is to come close to the door, open it for Minseok and proceed on apologizing for taking too long. But the second reaction comes way too fast, and he realizes that if he lets Minseok in, he'll take the herbs with him and probably won't want to give any to Sunggyu.

It's a stupid thought, thinking that Minseok would act like a 5 years old who won't share anything. But the herbs are suddenly so important to Sunggyu, being the only door to his happiness, as nonsensical as that sounds.

"Hyung!" Minseok yells again. Sunggyu fidgets on his bedsheet, still sitting, pondering on the idea of pretending to be yet asleep. He hears his neighbor opening the door, and a second voice resounds on the hallway, complaining that Minseok is making too much noise. "I'm sorry" Minseok apologizes.

Slowly, he stands up and tip toes towards the door, expecting to hear something else from Minseok. He perks up his ear, and catches on time the moment Minseok unlocks his phone, probably to call Sunggyu.

So he rapidly tip toes to the other side of the room where his phone is sitting, and turns it off before it could start ringing. Minseok sighs from the other side of the door, and says "."

Before leaving, he sweeps a piece of paper under the door, and Sunggyu reads Hyung, I came by but it looks like you were still sleeping, haha. I'll be back when my shift ends. Enjoy your day off! Love ya'

Sunggyu waits for a few minutes until he's sure Minseok is long gone, and proceeds to fix himself a new cup of tea, eager to go back to what should be his reality.

This time, he places more than three herbs in his tea.

___

And this time, he doesn't go back to Sungyeol and Dongwoo.

Instead of a beach, all he sees is an interminable forest. The heat that the sun emanates in the beach is long gone, and a cold breeze stays in its place, Sunggyu is unsure of what the time of the day would be, as the trees are covering the sky and all he sees is light. He can't help himself but smile wider when he notices he's wearing his same khaki boots. This time he's using a dark green shirt and a pair of khaki shorts too, somehow feeling the Indiana Jones vibes.

Sunggyu starts walking without a fixed destination, expecting to find someone at some point, just like it happened with Sungyeol and Dongwoo. Or, even if he didn't find anyone at all, he'd be happy with that too. He's already on cloud nine, being able to be witness of such breathtaking scenery that the mother nature can create.

He finds himself looking to his side more than once, somehow having an unconscious expectation to see someone else there with him, but realization hits him back to reality and he’s quickly to question himself for thinking like that in the first place.

He is so engrossed in his own world, reaching a point where the forest ends and all he can see before him are mountains in the distance which look like all those magazines stacking up in his kitchen, to realize he's walking to the edge of a cliff.

But he notices soon enough, as he hears the cry of an animal somewhere behind him, which make him stop. Sunggyu turns around and follows the sound, crossing the forest and coming out to a vast green meadow. It's wide and beautiful, with some zones filled with different types of flowers, ones that Sunggyu hasn't ever seen in any flower shop.

Yet, it isn't that what catches his attention right away.

It's the guy that walks through the meadows, towards the now dead deer which has an arrow deep in its ribcage, a small bleeding coming out from the wound. He's got the bow hanging on his back. Sunggyu can only stare in awe when such guy yanks the arrow and the deer moves in pain for a last time.

He doesn't think twice before walking towards him.

"Sungjong" The guy sighs, "I've told you a million times, don't hover me like that or you'll get— oh. You're not Sungjong." He turns around when he has tied the deer's two back legs. He looks at Sunggyu with a scowl and a little surprise, but not enough to feel threatened by this unknown person.

"Sorry" Sunggyu apologizes cheekly, "I—"

"Sunggyu, right?" The guy asks with delight, pointing at him with the hand that's holding the arrow.

"H-how did you know?" Sunggyu exclaims, taken aback.

The other guy merely chuckles, maybe happy that he guessed, maybe just making fun of Sunggyu whose frown is as deep as the ocean.

"I'm Howon" He says, ignoring Sunggyu's questions. "Come with me, hyung, let's eat this deer with the others."

Howon explains to him through the walk that he's very good with archery, being able to hunt down from deers to rabbits. He's not so good with fish yet, he confesses, but they have a few tramps in a river down the hill so they're covered.

Sunggyu gets stuck every time he uses the 'we' pronoun, still unsure who he's talking about, but convinced that he'll find out soon enough. He's more interested in knowing how he knew his name, so he presses more into the matter.

Howon titters with what Sunggyu would guess is his characteristic laugh. "Everyone knows your name, hyung." He exclaims, as if it were the most obvious thing.

It's when they arrive at a two story house that he meets the others. It's not that big, but it isn't tiny either. Sunggyu finds it quite cozy when he steps inside and hears the steps of someone coming down the stairs.

"Already back?" A male boy-ish voice asks. Sunggyu turns around and sees a boy standing at the foot of the stairs. "Oh.." he adds.

"Sunggyu hyung, meet Myungsoo." Howon says, taking off his shoes and walking past by them. "Where's Sungjong?"

Myungsoo is wearing a black sweater with turtleneck along with some jeans, also black. His hair is black, and if Sunggyu were to step closer, he'd say he also has black eyes.

"He went out," Myungsoo responds, eyes still looking at Sunggyu, perplexed. "He said something about looking for you."

Howon snorts. "Why can't he trust me when I tell him I won't take long?"

Myungsoo doesn't answer, just keeps looking at Sunggyu with big round eyes. Sunggyu starts feeling a little uncomfortable with the attention, as if he were being looked at by a cat.

So he decides to instead follow Howon into the house and accept the glass of water he offers him. He hears Myungsoo finally moving behind him, sitting on the stool closest to the fridge.

Howon shakes his head. "Don't get comfy. Go out and look for him."

"What?!" Myungsoo scowls. "Why me, hyung?"

"Because someone has to make dinner with the deer I brought, do you want t—?"

"Fine" Myungsoo scoffs. "But I swear, this is the last time."

Sunggyu stays put on his place while the two males discuss. Howon makes a face at Myungsoo when he turns around, but it's like they know each other so well, because he looks back and catches Howon. They start bickering again, and Sunggyu can only laugh at the sight.

"Alright you two" He steps in. "Is no one gonna look for Sungjong?"

He doesn't even know these people yet it doesn't feel awkward to interrupt them. Both shut up and Myungsoo proceeds to put on his shoes while Howon simply looks at him with a silly smile.

"You too, hyung." He says.

"Huh?" He frowns.

"Go with Myungsoo, or those two will never come back."

Sunggyu hears an excuse me! from the door and has a hunch that Myungsoo will very much likely take off his shoes to continue the dispute. So without much whining, he goes to the door and pushes Myungsoo out.

___

"Can I ask you something?" Sunggyu asks, eyes looking far at the astonishing view.

They're walking through the same meadow he had to cross when he was walking with Howon. It's a beautiful day, clouds looking like cotton candy and dark mountains with cracks in their slopes, all covered in snow. The breeze is still fresh, and he shivers, just a little, while on the other hand, Myungsoo seems content with his sweater.

The younger nods without looking at him, just walking. He's not sure about where they're going, he's just following the idea that Myungsoo knows.

"How.... is this all possible?" He asks.

"What do you mean?" Myungsoo turns back to him, looking at him with those cat like eyes.

"This world. It feels so real, and I don't mean to spoil the magic from the incomprehension, but I'm just so intrigued."

Myungsoo chuckles. For the first time, Sunggyu sees him smile, and he thinks that the beauty from the view is hardly comparable with his smile. His eyes go into little crescent moons and Sunggyu finds himself smiling, just because.

"You're funny, hyung." Myungsoo says at last, with such a fond tone he doesn’t think he deserves as of yet. They keep on walking for a few more minutes, Sunggyu is convinced that he won't get anything else from him and slowly gets used to the idea that this is maybe for the best, to keep the mystery as such. But then Myungsoo adds, "hyung, you belong here, that's all you need to know."

Sunggyu is very much confused by what he means with that, but he doesn't think he's wrong.

They cross a little river and Myungsoo proposes to stay there for a while and fresh up their feet. Sunggyu wants to protest and say they should be looking for this Sungjong guy instead, but the complain dies as soon as his feet are covered in the clear water. He feels the little crumbles of mud going through his toes as he moves them around, falling in love with the sensation.

He hears the other make a satisfied sound, something like a purr.

"So," Myungsoo starts, "did you get to know Sungyeol already?" he asks with amusement in his tone. Sunggyu opens his eyes right away at the mention of such name, for a moment forgetting that the day he spent at the beach even happened. He had been so busy enjoying the wonders of this new place that he didn't even think about asking if Sungyeol and Dongwoo were somehow related to them.

"Yes" Sunggyu answers as he stares at Myungsoo rest with his eyes closed. He's got a faint smile drawing in his face when he hears the answer. "How do yo—"

"How is he?" Myungsoo interrupts.

"Uh," Sunggyu stutters. "Great, I guess."

He proceeds to talk about the previous day he spent with the other two, telling him about the exhilarating day, the fishing part, the breathing underwater part, the Dongwoo playing with the dead fishes part, the dinner, the diving, the stargazing, and the whole part that revolved over everything else: the feeling of doing something new and thrilling. Sunggyu doesn't need to explain what his life is like on the other side, he doesn't even want to acknowledge it, rather to feign ignorance and act as if this was the only reality there could ever be. Myungsoo just smiles and listens, and Sunggyu feels like he gets him.

"How do you know each other, though?" Sunggyu asks. He's glad that Myungsoo asked about Sungyeol, meaning that there's probably a way to back to the beach if he ever wanted.

"The beach is not so far away from here." Myungsoo confirms his supposition. "It does take a few days, but it's always a nice journey."

"I'd like for us all to be together one day." He exhales. It's weird to say, when he doesn't even know everyone, it's just them six as far as he knows, and he doesn't even know Sungjong yet, still, it's a nice thought.

But Myungsoo finds it funny. "That'd be hard."

"For the long trip?"

The younger shakes his head. "I'd be hard to convince someone." He wants to ask who, but Myungsoo beats him to it, as he stands up and takes out his feet from the water before they wrinkle into raisins. "And besides, beach isn’t really my thing. I like fishes, so that’s a plus, but the sand- ugh. I can never get used to it. Tell me, where would you like to stay? Here, or the beach?"

After pondering over the question for a few seconds, Sunggyu just chuckles lightly. "Neither..." The confession makes Myungsoo raise an eyebrow in curiosity. "and both."

Myungsoo does rolls his eyes, but ends up offering a hand to Sunggyu as he answers, "I see."

"I just don't want to stay in one place," Sunggyu continues, putting on his beloved boots. "I know there is so much to see to stay stuck in one place."

Silence fall upon them as they resume their walk, Sunggyu yet again falling in love with his surroundings he almost doesn't hear the, "I hope you get to see Woohyun hyung soon" Myungsoo comments.

The name turns him into stone, stopping on track and feeling a bolt of electricity running through his body. A glimmer of realization flickers in his head, confusing him even further, and he's suddenly out of breath. His heart feels heavy all of a sudden, in desperate need for air or the answer for a question that is yet to be formulated.

But the chance never comes, because as Sunggyu grips on Myungsoo's shoulder for dear life, a boy appear from within the trees.

"Sungjong!" Is the last thing he hears before he sees black.

The expectation to wake up in his boring dull apartment sets in his mind with a pang of disappointment and a faint headache, feeling that he isn't getting enough of these dreams. But the name that dropped his blood pressure is yet again mentioned somewhere in the room, and he feels a wet in his left cheek and a four little paws in his torso. Sunggyu forces himself to open his eyes in desperate need to confirm that he is still here, in his dream, even though the effort hurts him like a thousand needles sticking in his eyes.

"What did you guys do to him!?"

The black cat that was standing on top of him hops up to the little tables besides him. "Nothing! I just said Woohyun's name and suddenly—" he hears Myungsoo say, but doesn’t see him anywhere.

"You what?!" It's Howon.

"Since when is Sunggyu hyung here?" A third voice asks. Probably Sungjong.

"We need Woohyun hyung, only he would know what to do!" The cat speaks in— Myungsoo’s voice?

"And how do you want to find him?!"

When he is finally able to form complete sentences and actually see, he asks to the panicking trio who haven't realized he's back to his senses, "Where's Woohyun?"

Hearing the name hurts enough, like his heart is in a desperate need to rip itself apart. The joy that has been setting in his system is long gone, and the sole question of where's Woohyun? remains in its place, repeating like a broken cassette.

He's been craving for an adventure his entire life, aching to feel complete and find the true happiness that he always thought the word carried within itself and he'd finally achieved. But the pain he felt of living a dull, boring life is suddenly arising again, even when he's still living the dream.

For some reason, he doesn't want an adventure now, or if he does, he can’t focus on it. His judgment has been clouded with the raw need to just. find. Woohyun.

It's exasperating to feel like this, to suddenly have the compulsion to find where this man is. Even though he doesn't know who he is, his body reacts by itself, confusing him even further. It’s like he and his body aren’t in sync, because although Sunggyu thinks in a certain way, his body reacts in the complete opposite.

"We can't do much" Howon sighs in disappointment when Sunggyu has finally sat down on a chair and drank his water. The three of them are looking at him with worried eyes, concerned that he'd faint again despite him saying that he’s alright now.

He had panicked over the talking cat that is supposed to be Myungsoo, but the novelty had fainted quickly enough after the younger had told him I’m a shifter hyung, but tell me, are you really okay? like he just explained that two plus two are four and it’s simply obvious like that. It’s easy to believe, since Sunggyu has witnessed unexplainable things the past days. Sunggyu had nodded slightly at the question, hand unconsciously moving to the back of Myungsoo’s head, scratching him and hearing the other purr in delight.

"How's that so?" Sunggyu asks with a rusty voice.

"We don't know where he is" Myungsoo chuckles drily, reaction to a funless joke. He’s back to his usual form, sitting with his legs folded in his chest. Now, even like this, Sunggyu is tempted to just reach to the back of his ear and scratch.

"The reason why we're apart," Howon says, "it's because we belong to different parts of the world. Based on our distinctive nature and personality, we're in different zones."

"Sungyeol and Dongwoo," Myungsoo continues, "they belong to the water, the sun. They enjoy the salt, the light."

Sunggyu frowns. "And you three—"

"Myungsoo and I are from here" Sungjong speaks up. He's sitting behind Myungsoo, peeking over his shoulder to look at him. "This is our place, the damp, the clouds, although Myungsoo enjoys the snow more than I do."

“I’m the only shifter among us,” Myungsoo explains. “I don’t know why, but my nature tells me I belong here, with Sungjong.”

"And you?" He turns to Howon who looks down at the sudden attention.

"I'm both from up North and down South." He chuckles, "from the mountains, I enjoy their cold, their snow. However, from the deserts, I enjoy the fatigating heat, the energy coming from the sunrays."

“And Woo-woo… ugh, him” It’s hard to finish up the name when his heart is trying to break apart at the mere thought of it.

“Woohyun?” Howon says, “well… he, uh… ugh, this so cheesy to say…”

“He belongs to you, hyung.” Myungsoo continues with a serious tone, eyeing Howon with disapprovement. “That is why we can’t find him easily. Ever since you left, he’s been everywhere and nowhere, because he doesn’t fit anywhere but with you.”

“Same case as you, hyung.” Sungjong adds.

“Or,” Howon intervenes, “completely the opposite, if you may say. You fit everywhere, there’s no place that you can’t grow fond of.”

“But at the end—” Sungjong says.

“I belong to Woohyun.” Sunggyu finishes, the idea sitting in his head like the last piece of a frustrating puzzle. It feels gratifying to say out loud. But, there’s something else he can’t quite understand yet. “How do you guys know who I am, though...? My name, my existence even.”

“We didn’t know.” Howon confesses. “Not right away…”

“At the beginning,” Myungsoo explains, “it was you and Woohyun. We weren’t here, we don’t know how this world was created— each and every one of us came at a different time, and I think I can speak for everyone that the first person we encountered was Woohyun hyung.”

“He explained us everything.” Sungjong says, putting his arms over the table. “It is only the seven of us who can be in this world, so, even though we didn’t know how you were physically, we knew that if we see someone new, it had to be you.”

“Sungyeol didn’t know me until I said my name” Sunggyu adds, looking to Myungsoo, a part of him knowing he’d be the one answering him. “Why’s that?”

And he does. “They don’t get along completely well,” Myungsoo chuckles, “Sungyeol gets on Woohyun’s nerves quite often, so he might’ve forgot it on purpose.”

“I…”

The information is sinking down in him as he stutters, not feeling like brand new information but a remainder of something he already knew, he just didn’t know he knew. He’s trying to think about something else to ask, some hole to fill, and ends up realizing there’s only one.

“If this is my place,” He begins.

“It is!” Howon interrupts, sitting on the edge of his chair. “Life here has been quiet ever since you left, we’re content with what we do, but without Woohyun and you— it doesn’t feel complete.”

“Now it does” Sungjong smiles cheekily.

“Kind of” Myungsoo scratches his neck. “We still don’t know where Woohyun is, and we do know this world is big.”

He tries again. “If this is my place, why is my time limited?”

The trio frown at the same time, Sunggyu would have laughed if he wasn’t so scared for what he just said.

“What do you mean?” Howon asks, confused.

“Yesterday I was with Dongwoo and Sungyeol, I spent the day with them and we were stargazing when I was brought back to the other side.” Sunggyu explains, moving his hands to make his point, still trying to get used to the idea that this is his reality and not the other way around, as it’s supposed to be.

Again, the three of them look into each others eyes with the same confusion and end up in the same conclusion without muttering a word.

“We don’t know what you mean by the other side, hyung. We were born from nature and this world is the only thing we know.” Howon declares.

“Woohyun hyung explained to us that there was an other side, and that you were there. But since we never went there, we don’t know anything else.” Sungjong adds. “He doesn’t tell us much, he’s always on a bad mood.”

“He’s the only one that can help you with your problem.” Myungsoo concludes.

“When is the last time you saw him?” Sunggyu asks.

“About… 3 months ago?” Sungjong guesses, and the faint hope that was growing in Sunggyu’s inside dies quick enough.

“I saw him two weeks ago,” Howon says, “he told me he’d be on a journey around the mountains, but that’s a vast area.”

“We should just wait” Myungsoo declares, sitting back on his chair. “Woohyun hyung should sense Sunggyu hyung, right?” He looks back at Sunggyu, “You guys do that, right? Sense each other?”

“Not really” Sunggyu answers, somewhat uncomfortable with the question. “I sensed that something was missing, but I still have no memories about him— so no, I don’t sense him.”

The trio sighs simultaneously and Sunggyu tries hard to think if there’s something he knows, he’s just not aware of it, but this ends up hurting his head even more and everyone looks at him with concern.

“I’m alright, I just need some rest” He concludes, trying to get comfortable in the uncomfortable chair.

“Maybe you should go lie down—”

“No!” Sunggyu practically shouts. “No beds… what if I leave again?” He means to sound more confident voicing out the question, but his body trembles at its own will and the three look at him pitifully.

“Okay hyung.” Myungsoo smiles at him. “You want to eat now?”

After dinner, Sunggyu decides to rest some more in the hamac behind the house, this time by himself. Howon simply nods at him as he leaves the dishes in the sink. He sees Sungjong trying to follow him behind, but Myungsoo stops him and Sunggyu appreciates it. He needs to organize his thoughts.

The sun is going down when he sighs heavily and sits in the hamac. Some sun rays are still in the sky, making their last attempt to stay and never leave, but the moon is already up in the sky, conquering its way in for the night. The darkness that comes after leaves Sunggyu in silence to finally have that needed talk with himself.

First, he thinks about the people he has encountered so far. Everyone was so different and something he was missing in his life as well as in his personality. He had never met anyone like Sungyeol, naggy but fun nonetheless, doing things with determination. Or Dongwoo, doing things as he felt like it, never questioning and just jumping into doing them without overthinking about the consequences. He had eminently enjoyed the day with them, learning something from both and feeling alive in a way he never felt before.

Then, there were the other three, who somehow felt similar to each other, more laid back than the duo who mostly acted as they pleased. Howon was simple to understand, yet somehow hard to process. He was methodical with his activities, proving it by taking care of dinner as he hunted down a deer and even cooking it with no outside help. Sungyeol had taken care of dinner the day before too, but he had been more free, enjoying the activity with elation. Howon seemed more thoughtful, yet always trying to pass by as someone nice and easy.

Myungsoo was similar in the simplicity, living a mellow life where he didn’t rush on moving nor hurry to do things, waiting for them to resolve on their own. He was self-confident like that, knowing enough to keep his mind in ease, something Sunggyu lacked a lot. He had been surprised at first, when he saw the other in his cat form. But the idea sit well enough with Myungsoo’s concept, and by now he couldn’t imagine the younger being anything but.

During dinner, he had gotten to know Sungjong. The meal lasted an hour at most, but that hour was filled with laughter from the three boys before him, recalling and sharing interesting stories they’ve had together. Sungjong was a hurried person, the whole opposite from Myungsoo, yet the two completed each other quite well. While Myungsoo waited for things to fix on their own, Sungjong bustled into fixing them himself, he was a do-er. When he had heard Howon had gone out without him (yet again because, you always do that to me, Howon hyung), Sungjong couldn’t stop himself from worrying and wanting to help too. But he was a little careless, and that was the only thing Sunggyu felt like he could relate to. Sunggyu tends to be careless in his actions, but he had never been heedless, trying to fulfill the need to be considerate towards others.

The six of them represented everything Sunggyu wasn’t and always dreamt to be; to some extent, at least. The necessary amount to live just like they did, following through what their hearts told them to.

Then there was Woohyun. Woohyun. Sunggyu whispers the name to himself and he feels his heart jumping in reaction. It’s quite frustrating that his body acts this way, that it longs for the other male this much without explaining why to his head.

He starts pondering upon the thought of Woohyun belonging to no one while Sunggyu was gone, as the others had said. It hurts him deep inside to even think the other had been living like that, and that is probably the only thought his conscious feels too, because Sunggyu has been living like that on the other side.

Nothing ever felt refreshing neither did it give him a sense of accomplishment. Sunggyu often lived his days on autopilot, convinced that there must be people just like him, feeling incomplete on whatever they did. He was so sure there was nothing else but adventures that would fill him up, but now, living the dream (quite literally), he had found out it was not the joy nor the rush from the adrenaline that he needed, but that someone else whose name was Woohyun.

He needed to do something to find the other male, so maybe this way he could understand the answers to the questions that are yet to be asked, and the story that everyone knows he must be keeping to himself. What had happened to Sunggyu? How had things gone the way they did? Sunggyu wanted to know everything that he was oblivious of right now. And mostly, he wanted to know the way to stay here forever and never go back to where he doesn’t belong.

Sunggyu fell asleep in the hamac without meaning to. He was exhausted from the long day, and when he opened his eyes, but hadn’t really registered anything as of yet, feared filled him up of being dragged back to the other reality. A pair of arms wrap around his waist and Sunggyu flinches, finally turning on his senses to try to comprehend where he is right now.

The sun is hitting his eyes with soft rays and Sunggyu cover his eyesight with a hand, as the person behind him sighs.

“Hyung,” Sungjong breaths over his ear with a chuckle and playful tone, the arms around his waist holding him better “you’re cute, do you know that?”

The words feel like a long lost dream of his, but they don’t feel right. Because it’s not supposed to be Sungjong the one behind him, saying these things, and his heart knows it as it screams a different name.

Sunggyu starts crying as quickly as a cloud starts pouring down its own teardrops, both salty in bitterness. The expectation to find someone else behind him embitters him, and Sungjong soon untangles his arms, sitting up to look at him.

“Hyung!” He calls, alarmed, “why are you crying? — did I scare you? I’m so sorry!”

He shakes his head, trying to say that it isn’t him, that it’s his poor heart acting up again, but the tears are coming out like a hose without a handle, spouting his tears down his cheeks with fervor. He tries to clean them away, but they’re soon filled with more tears.

Howon comes out from the house, opening the backdoor with a strong blow and quickly finding the sound of all the noise.

Sunggyu is finally starting to control his own feelings when Howon yells “Sungjong what the did you do!?” and walks his way down to them where they’re now sitting in the hamac, ready to smack Sungjong. But Sunggyu is quickly to hug Sungjong and shake his head with intensity.

“It’s—not—him!” Sunggyu finally says between hiccups, and Howon stops on track just a feet away from him. Howon squats before him and looks at Sunggyu with concern.

“What is it, then, hyung?” He asks with a different voice, a much more softer tone that could only be directed to Sunggyu.

Both males wait a few minutes until Sunggyu has gathered up his emotions and he’s no longer a mess and able to communicate, but all effort is long gone, because as soon as he says “It hurts here” and points at his heart, he’s crying again.

At the end, Sunggyu does calm down. All it needed was a herbal tea from Myungsoo, and though Sunggyu felt skeptical about drinking it (what if he was able to go back to the world like that?), Myungsoo explained him that it’s just a green tea. The younger turns into his cat form to sit on his lap and purr loudly, somehow managing to calm Sunggyu down.

Howon prepares him a tasty breakfast with fried eggs and some milk, and they try to have a normal morning with Myungsoo sneakily drinking Sunggyu’s milk.

Sungjong apologizes a million times throughout the breakfast, and Sunggyu answers him another million that it is fine, something had triggered those feelings, and Sungjong neither does Sunggyu knew about them. Sungjong doesn’t look too convinced, but decides to stop apologizing when Sunggyu hugs him.

Howon proposes for the four of them to go hunting, and although Myungsoo’s first reaction is to hiss, he soon is on board on the idea when Howon (not so naturally) pushes him off the table with his forearm, and Sunggyu says he’s in. Sunggyu changes clothes despite feeling a bit nasty doing it without cleaning himself with water, but Howon tells him there’s a beautiful natural well not so far away and they can hang around there.

Soon, they take off to their destination and Sungjong proposes to sing a song together, to what Myungsoo yet again complains, now in his human form, but everyone knows he doesn’t mean it not even a little bit, because he’s the first one to start singing along with Sungjong’s voice. Sunggyu doesn’t know the song and neither does Howon, as it’s something those two made up with Sungyeol a long while ago when they met up, but they still try to keep up the spirit with them.

Howon looks back at Sunggyu a few times before finally slowing down a bit and walking side by side with him.

“Hyung” Howon calls, and Sunggyu hums in response, eyes on the ground as they walk. “I know I shouldn’t plan things early, and even less when I can jinx our happiness.” He doesn’t like where this is going, but he lets him talk nonetheless. “but in case you disappear from us,” he starts, and Sunggyu feels his breath stuck in his throat. “when you come back, I want you to go to an open area and make a fire, okay?”

Sunggyu is about to say something, but Howon interrupts him even before he can utter a sound.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on the sky in case I see smoke. I’ve sent a pigeon to Sungyeol and Dongwoo hyung telling them you’re with us but most likely you won’t be by the time they read that message, so they’ll be keeping an eye too.” Sunggyu keeps quiet, thoughtful. Howon has been amazing to him, has thought things out for him in case he goes missing, and Sunggyu feels a warm embracing his torso, figuratively.

“Okay, hyung?” Howon asks, looking at him from the corner of his eye.

“Thanks, Howon-ah.” Sunggyu smiles, lightly patting his back.

“I just don’t want you missing, hyung.” He explains. “We don’t know how this works, and until we do, you’re probably gonna keep on appearing in random places.”

“I don’t want to ever leave” Sunggyu confesses, even though it’s something everyone knows it’ll happen at some point.

“I’ll tell Myungsoo and Sungjong later, so they can keep an eye too.” Howon says. “I-uh, actually wanted to talk to you about that too.” Howon’s tone sounds nervous and Sunggyu frowns lightly.

“About what?”

“I’ll leave.” Howon blurts out. “As soon as you leave us, which I hope is never, but-uh, if it happens, I have to find Woohyun.”

Sunggyu tenses up at the name, but nods nonetheless.

“I wanted to go look for him since this morning, but I didn’t want to leave you just yet.” Howon keeps on looking at the ground, feeling the conversation a bit too emotional for both of them. “I’m also hoping that what Myungsoo guessed before is true, that you can sense each other. Or at least that he can sense you.”

“I hope so too,” Sunggyu agrees. “Thank you, though. For everything.”

“It’s nothing, hyung” Howon smiles. “It’s my pleasure to help you.”

It’s not hard to find the natural well, and when they do, Sungjong is the first one to rush to it, yelling that the last one to arrive has to make dinner later. It is only then when the other three males look at each other and smile significantly, running their way too and swiftly taking off their clothes. Sunggyu is the last one to undress up to his underwear, and throws himself into the water without much thought.

The water is a beautiful tone of blue, little fishes swim together in shoal, and Myungsoo, back to his cat form, tries catching up to them but no avail. What an useless cat, Howon snicker.

Howon swims toward Sungjong and they both inspect an interesting part of the rocks on the side. Sunggyu smiles underwater, staring at them with fondness. There’s a little waterfall on one side of the well, and Sunggyu swims under it, coming out to the surface to enjoy the fresh water falling right on his face.

They stay there for a while, enjoying the water and playing with each other. They team up in pairs and Sunggyu sits on Howon’s shoulders to wrestle against Sungjong who is sitting on Myungsoo’s shoulder. The younger is way too skinny yet he somehow manages to throw Sunggyu into the water a few times. The four of them have their own laugh, Howon bickering at Sunggyu that he should keep his balance and Sunggyu trying to blame Howon for not being a good base to begin with, but all complains are said with a smile and they laugh even more.

At some point, Sunggyu decides to rest on the water on his own. The other three don’t question him much and start discussing what to play now. Sunggyu swims into the water, resting his back against the rocky walls of the well. He gives a few deep breaths, looking at the other’s legs as they play around in the surface.

Looking at them from this position, Sunggyu feels blessed to be in a place like this. It still feels like a dream to him, but it’s the most he’s ever felt alive in his whole life. He’s overwhelmed with feelings, suddenly feeling like he can’t breath although he’s pretty sure being underwater isn’t really a problem here.

His inside start to compress, shrinking down like a little black hole taking him in, starting from his stomach. Fear starts to creep up his back and Sunggyu has to hold himself with the rocks behind him. He’s short of breath, and his eyes start to sting. Sunggyu closes his eyes with force and makes up someone’s silhouette behind his eyelids. It’s not anyone he’s met so far, and Sunggyu chokes with the name in his throat before he goes back to the other reality.

At first, it feels like a nightmare, the worst kind. Sunggyu is lying down on his bed, sweating like there’s no tomorrow and panting for air, filling up his lungs. He had kept his windows closed, so he’s not sure what time of the day it is, but his ears are ringing loudly, and he has to take one moment or two to get his senses in order.

There’s a loud banging in a door. Probably his door. Sunggyu can’t focus, his body muscles ache and there’s a headache slowly setting on him.

“I’m coming!” He screams, both hands pressing on his temples to ease some of the pain. He stands up and rushes his way toward the door, opening it without much thought.

Minseok slips into his apartment with an accelerated breath, worriedly looking at Sunggyu. “What the , hyung?” He snaps. “You missed your shift and I had to cover for you, and you weren’t answering any of my calls. I was worried sick!”

“I’m sorry” Sunggyu manages to say, closing the door and walking past Minseok to fix himself a glass of water.

“I haven’t seen you in three days, what the have you been doing? And why are you all wet?”

Sunggyu finally realizes his hair is wet and he’s wearing only his underwear. His head is still throbbing in pain, but he manages to make up the thought that then it was indeed truth. Sunggyu wasn’t really dreaming. He was actually leaving this reality.

“Are you gonna say anything at all?” Minseok protests.

“I— just, stop talking for a moment.” Sunggyu sighs, annoyed.

It’s the first time he’s talked this way to Minseok, and he sees how the younger is taken aback. Just for a moment.

“Whatever,” Minseok answers, pissed. “I just came for my herbs, anyway. Where are they?”

As if his head wasn’t in enough pain, his heart stops beating for a moment when he hears him. The herbs, oh god, the herbs. Sunggyu doesn’t understand yet how they work, but they’re the key for him to go to the other side. He can’t let the other have them.

“I—”

“Oh, there they are.” Minseok walks to the counter and grabs the jar full of herbs. Sunggyu mentally panics, trying to come up with anything good enough to stop him, but his mouth is open and no words come out from it. “I’ll take off”

“Wait!” Sunggyu rushes forward and grabs Minseok by the elbow. “Why, uh, why don’t we use some of those herbs? I could use a tea right now. I’ll explain you everything.” He says, trying to sound as calm and natural as ever. But nothing about this is natural. His hair is still dropping water and he’s never asked something to Minseok, never had the interest to say more than two sentences to him in the span of an hour.

It’s like the other realizes how odd the situation is, Sunggyu asking him something like that. But he doesn’t really over thinks it and answers him like a parent would answer to his dumb child.

“Hyung,” he says with a playful grin, “these herbs are super rare. You don’t know how much it took me to get them. They were super expensive.”

“Why?”

“Well,” Minseok laughs, freeing his elbow from Sunggyu’s grip, “let’s just say they’re kind of a, uh, drug? They put you into another state of mind, something all weird like that. They’re my ticket to come up with the best film plot there’ll ever exist, you won’t believe it, hyung. They’re super powerful.”

He tries to walk toward the door again, but Sunggyu grabs his elbow, again. “Wait!”

Minseok turns back to him, ready to snap, but he sees something in Sunggyu that makes him close his mouth instead, and let the older speak.

Sunggyu doesn’t know what to say, but his own body seems to, and before he realizes, he hears himself ask with the softest tone, “can you stay the night, please?”

At last, Sunggyu made up an excuse for his absence the past days. He, for the first time, lies, and really lies his off, talking about a non existent problem with his mom and that he just had to leave without noticing anyone. Minseok hears him during dinner, anger vanished. He doesn’t try to interrupt Sunggyu, and this makes him nervous, as it probably meant that he’s waiting for the moment his story would uncover the obvious hole.

But such hole never appears, and Minseok nods when Sunggyu says he really felt bad (did he say about what? He doesn’t remember) and tried to take a shower and that’s when Minseok came.

“It’s okay, hyung” Minseok smiles. He reaches for Sunggyu’s hand over the table and Sunggyu understands that he bought the lie completely.

Maybe it had been the fact that Minseok knew nothing about Sunggyu’s personal life, doesn’t matter the time they’ve been knowing each other. Not even sleeping together made Sunggyu share something, anything at all, because for him, there wasn’t a single thing to share about himself.

Now, there was.

He could talk to Minseok about these wild dreams (that are the actual reality, he’s sure of that) he had the past days, explain to him how it feels to be underwater, to sing your lungs out, to throw yourself into the water from a high rock with the warm hand of someone you appreciate clenching on yours. But he wouldn’t understand. Even if Minseok were to actually believe him, he wouldn’t really do so, not entirely. He would think that Sunggyu’s imagination compensates his lack of dialogue, but just that.

And even with the excitement bubbling in his stomach and the vivid memories fresh in his head, Sunggyu doesn’t find it in himself to actually talk about it. His head is constantly going round and round the fact that the jar is sitting in his counter, behind him, and he’s supposed to ignore it. He’s supposed to try and act like himself, but all he can do is impatiently wait for the moment Minseok would go to sleep.

At last, he does. When it happens, Sunggyu hurriedly sneaks to the kitchen to prepare himself a tea. He’s quite hurried and senses all over the place, startling with the softest sounds. He manages to serve the water, make the tea and take a few short hot sips when Minseok wakes up.

He’s standing against the frame door, mumbling something incomprehensible and looking at Sunggyu in confusion. Sunggyu apologizes, saying he wanted some water, and scorts Minseok back to bed. But this time, Minseok shuts the door behind them and pushes Sunggyu down with him, cagging him in a tight, uncomfortable hug. Sunggyu tries hard to do free himself, but Minseok isn’t budging. His efforts are tiring and at some point, Sunggyu simply lets go.

When Sunggyu is back to his senses, there’s a warm chest under his head and securing arms around his waist. He gives one, and two deep breathes, eyes closed trying to cling onto his sleep that’s slowly dissolving right behind his eyelids. He feels Minseok’s breath over his head before he presses a kiss on top of it.

Although he tries hard not to stir awake, pretend he’s still asleep and naturally roll his body away from Minseok, the other has him well assured in his hold and doesn’t let him move not even an inch.

It’s weird, Sunggyu thinks. Sleeping with Minseok always felt like resting his head over a flat board, a grievous feeling all over his body with his cramped neck twisted in the other’s chest. He has never liked it, and always found a way to move away. This time though, it’s like he’s resting on a cloud.

The warmth the other emanates calms Sunggyu down and one of the hands in his waist caress slow circles over his shirt. There’s also a different smell. It’s familiar, yet he knows it’s not Minseok’s, because Minseok always smell like your typical macho cologne, strong and itchy. This smell, on the other hand, is cleaner, gentle to his nose and somehow addicting and kind of sweet.

It’s nothing Sunggyu has ever smell before, yet the strongest scent attached to his memory.

“I know you’re awake” A voice says from on top of his head, and proceeds to chuckle.

It’s not Minseok’s.

Sunggyu’s body reacts before his mind does, and his hand resting on the other’s chest involuntarily clench on the shirt. This voice is not Minseok’s, and if it’s not Minseok’s, then he’s no longer at his room, and if he’s no longer at his room—

“Stop thinking so hard, it’s tiring.”

Sunggyu knows, oh, he knows. This voice he’s hearing is music to his ears, the trigger to his senses, the reason why his heart is beating so hard against his chest, pumping red blood everywhere in his body. This voice belongs to only one person, the most important one, and anticipation is eating Sunggyu alive, but he doesn’t find it within himself to actually move.

What if it isn’t him? What if this is just a cruel dream, an actual nightmare? What if his head has been playing games with him all this time and the moment he tries to lift his head, he’s going to wake up? It had been quite a ride, he had to admit. The other five boys his mind had made up were amazingly well thought, the best and most bitter joke he’s ever gotten.

Favorably, this isn’t the case.

A hand comes from the other side of the chest he’s resting at, and takes Sunggyu’s chin with his index and thumb, finally doing the inevitable and forcing Sunggyu to look at him— at Woohyun.

He doesn’t know how he knows, but he does.

The gentle eyes looking down at him are Woohyun’s. The delicate brown hair sitting on his forehead is Woohyun’s. The smile coming from his mouth— the thick lower lip, the shining teeth, the little dimples forming as his facial muscles twitch, the two applecheeks forming. They’re all Woohyun’s.

If Sunggyu had to compare this moment with something, he would have to say it’s like looking right at the sun; it’s like going back to surface for air, like finishing a very stressful puzzle, like finishing a marathon in first place, like watching the Aurora Borealis with his own eyes and admiring every single color that’s being shown. It’s like feeling those electrical shocks in his body, himself feeling like the best light show under Woohyun’s eyes.

In reality, he had never witnessed any of these feelings, not even close to. However, it’s the feeling he’s been craving for his entire life. It’s what he thought he’d feel the moment he completed all these things, the satisfaction of feeling alive.

He feels alive under Woohyun’s eyes.

Sunggyu doesn’t realize he’s smiling, not until Woohyun fondly grazes his thumb against his lips, admiring them with devotion. Woohyun’s smile flickers for a moment before it finally dies down, and Sunggyu can’t keep on smiling either when he recognizes the tears forming in his beautiful chocolate eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re here” Woohyun whispers with a fragile voice, the back of his hand caressing Sunggyu’s right cheek. “I heard you think, hyung. When you were here, and when you weren’t. I have always been hearing you out.”

“You have?” Sunggyu answers back just as softly.

Woohyun nods. He hugs Sunggyu tighter and closes his eyes, letting two teardrops fall down his cheeks, showering Sunggyu’s head with gentle kisses. They feel like little drops of love, satisfying Sunggyu’s heart a bit more each time. They stay like that for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s presence.

It’s now when Sunggyu decides to check his surroundings, finally realizing he’s lying over a bed in a room that feels strange yet, at the same time, familiar— like everything that has been happening so far. There’s nothing distinctive hanged in the walls, no posters, no pictures. It could easily look like the typical room you look at in shops when you’re shopping for house furniture. There’s a wide collection of books arranged in a shelf on the side, but nothing Sunggyu is hardly interested in. Nonetheless, he has hunch of where they’re, so he looks up, and asks.

“Is this our room?”

Woohyun hums.

“Do you remember me?” Woohyun asks.

Painfully, Sunggyu shakes his head. He doesn’t want to upset Woohyun, but he doesn’t want to lie to him either. “I’m sorry, I don’t.”

Woohyun chuckles. “It’s okay,” he says, kissing Sunggyu’s nape, making his heart flutter, “I’ll help you out, ask me whatever you want.”

After a few minutes of trying to arrange the mental question in his head, Sunggyu decides there’s no better place to start than the beginning. “How did we meet?”

Woohyun’s hand lifts Sunggyu’s shirt a little, and electricity runs through Sunggyu’s body when his warm hand starts massaging his hip. It doesn’t feel strange nor wrong, and Sunggyu tries really hard not to blush at the pleasant feeling setting at the top of his spine.

“We met in the real world. I used to live there with you.”

“Really? Sunggyu exclaims, and Woohyun nods. “Wow. I kind of thought you were part of this dream, too.”

“That’s what makes us special, hyung.” Woohyun smiles. “It was in High School. I was starting to grow taller, maturing. You were already at your height peak and as mature as you could be. I liked choir. You liked band. Both workshops were full, so we had to settle with paint.” Woohyun snorts, “I hated the idea. I was awful at drawing and coloring, so spending four hours per week in that workshop— I was sure I was gonna hate it.”

“But?” Sunggyu tempts.

“How do you know there’s a but?” Woohyun asks mischievously. Sunggyu shrugs, showing off a little embarrassed smirk. “There is a but.” Woohyun smiles. “You were that but.”

Sunggyu can’t help it but smile, waiting expectantly to hear more.

They had both met in that workshop. Sunggyu had been the outstanding student that although he swore he never paint a thing in his life, his full of life canvas said otherwise. It’s like he had a gift for it. Not did he only know how to paint, but he also knew what to paint.

Normally, he would do landscapes. From mountains in the freezing cold with white topping all over them and clouded skies, to beautiful sunsets in the beach, a boundless beauty in the chosen colors blending with one another.

“The teacher told you to tutor me” Woohyun blows. “Can you believe it? I had to be tutored for a damn paint class.”

Sunggyu snickers.

The older wasn’t easy to befriend as Sunggyu had a mysterious aura, along with hardly sharing a thing about himself. There’s nothing to share, he would say. But Woohyun didn’t think so, so he tried hard to make Sunggyu like him back in various ways. Although the tutor thing wasn’t really his idea, Woohyun purposely colored his canvas lazily, basically forcing the teacher to assign him a tutor.

They would stay together hours after school, Sunggyu trying to explain to him the meaning of every color, the mood they represented and how it’d change if you mix them up. He’d try to explain to him the spectrum while Woohyun simply wondered how there could exist a hyung as cool as him. Woohyun would try to crack him with some jokes, and although Sunggyu looked entertained, he also looked confused as much as bewildered.

It happen one day when Woohyun offered to bring him more colors and accidentally tripped over with his own feet and fell flat all over the palette. Sunggyu rushed to help him up, and Woohyun mumbled an embarrassed thank y-, realizing the older was smiling at him. At his colorful belly, more precisely.

“You’re smiling, hyung.” Woohyun pointed at the other’s smile. Which falls quickly at the realization.

“No, I’m not.”

“You totally were.”

Another smile.

Their friendship blossomed during the spam of two years. Although Woohyun was in a lower grade, Sunggyu didn’t really mind in the end. They’d meet at recess, eat together as Woohyun explained to him the things he learned, the things he didn’t learn, the things he heard. Woohyun didn’t mind that the older wasn’t very verbal at first, because he knew that wasn’t Sunggyu. Woohyun never offered him a penny for his thoughts, but he would happily pay a fortune to know them all.

As expected, Sunggyu did open up to him. It came in little details, a how are you? In the morning, a laugh after a boring joke (even Woohyun would admit it), a complain after Woohyun would skip a class, a sudden confession of his thoughts. Woohyun would feel himself happier those days just for the fact that Sunggyu was opening to him, that he was becoming as important for Sunggyu as the older was to him.

They both had found a special friend, and their personalities harmonized uniquely, in a push and pull dynamic. They had become each other’s favorite person just like that.

Sunggyu showed Woohyun all his colors, all his moods. There were days when Sunggyu was bubbling with happiness, telling Woohyun to do this and that, giggling. He would do things without thinking, drunk in his own rare mood. On most days, he would be naggy. Scold Woohyun for not doing his homework when it was obvious that Sunggyu wasn’t really into doing his either. On some others, he would work hard in his paintings, engrossed in his own world. It would be hard for Woohyun to pull him out from it, but when it happened, Sunggyu would explain Woohyun what he was painting at the moment.

After their two years, Sunggyu graduated, and so he dropped painting because although it was fun to do, it hadn’t been enough for him. He didn’t try to enroll in any University, convinced there wasn’t anything for him there.

“You always talked about wanting to live your life at its fullest, and like the good dongsaeng that I am, I wanted to follow you ‘till the end of the world.”

Their hands had found each other at some point, Sunggyu doesn’t know when. But now, as he looks at Woohyun’s smile flicker yet again, he unconsciously applies pressure in their intertwined hands, reassuring him that it’s fine. They speak to each other without saying a word but through their eyes, and Woohyun finally smiles back.

“It was easier said than done.”

Sunggyu hadn’t been too fond at the idea of Woohyun not studying because of him. He had a lot of potential in lots of areas. Woohyun shrugged it off in front of his parents when they got pissed and kicked him out of his house, and he shrugged it off a second time when Sunggyu had also complained about his poor life decisions, but he didn’t find it within himself to not accept the younger when he had come up to his door with his belonging packed in suitcases.

“Back then, I told you something you really hate when I bring it up.” Woohyun smiles, playing around with Sunggyu’s hand in his.

Sunggyu looks at him, expectant. “What did you say?”

Woohyun shortens the distance between their faces, noses barely touching. Sunggyu’s breath cuts short in his throat, and he hopes the other can’t see the blush creeping up his neck. Woohyun then leans to the side, and whispers in Sunggyu’s ear, “I told you, hyung, what’s the point if I’m not going to be with you?”

“I have another question.” Sunggyu confesses.

Sunggyu had gotten tired of lying around, and so Woohyun had dragged him out of their room and down the stairs to their kitchen. It was a cozy two story house, wooden boards in clear tones. Like in the bedroom, there wasn’t anything special or mesmerising, just a simple house. He wasn’t really hungry, but again, when Woohyun asked him if he wanted to eat cake, he couldn’t refuse.

But when Woohyun takes out flour, eggs and milk from the refrigerator, he can’t help it but snort.

“I thought we were eating cake.”

“We are,” Woohyun confirmed, “but first, I have to make it.”

“You bake?”

Woohyun hummed, smiling. “I cook too, but I feel like eating cake right now.”

Unexpectedly, Woohyun was a great baker. He had done Sunggyu’s favorite without asking him about it, Angel Cake. Sunggyu then wondered why was that cake even his favorite. Yeah, he enjoyed it, but now that he gave it a thought, there wasn’t anything in particular that’d make him crazy about this cake.

“I made it for you on your birthday the first year we dated,” Woohyun explained when Sunggyu had taken the first bite and hummed in delight. “You liked strawberries and it didn’t look complicated, so I tried.”

“I loved it, right?” Sunggyu guessed.

“Yeah. You did.”

Woohyun had eaten the rest of the cake and when Sunggyu told him he’d get a stomach ache, he happily reminded Sunggyu that one couldn’t get full or fat in here, so it was alright. Whose idea was that? Sunggyu asked, already knowing the answer and not being able to control his facial muscles when Woohyun smiled cheekly at him.

“What’s your question?” Woohyun asks, sipping on his coffee.

“How did we end up here?” Sunggyu plays with a last piece of cake, dragging it around the plate mindlessly.

“Well,” Woohyun sighs, folding his lower lip, “things were rough for a while.

“I loved you,” he says slowly, looking right into Sunggyu’s eyes. Sunggyu doesn’t feel like blushing this time. “and you loved me.”

“There’s a but coming, right?”

“But, we didn’t love that world.”

Like everything in life, it had been hard. Things weren’t going as well, Sunggyu wasn’t doing anything in particular, jumping from job to job and basically getting re energized by Woohyun’s support. Woohyun was also in the same routine, working part time jobs to keep up with their bills, and though life had been specially hard at him, he didn’t really mind. Because at the end of the day, they both had a place in each other called home.

Sunggyu began to voice out his thoughts more. Woohyun was the only person who really knew him, the real him that found happiness in little things and stressed over the big ones, often forgetting the purpose of everything. One day, he told Woohyun he was the only reason why he was still alive. That nothing ever excited him enough anymore, nothing felt more satisfying than seeing Woohyun smile or crack a joke, even the ones that weren’t funny.

At this point, they had both already confessed to each other. They already had shared their bodies with the other. Woohyun knew Sunggyu considered him the most important person in his life, and the feeling was mutual, but that confession was the biggest of them all. Nothing ever touched him as much as those words did, and in a way, Woohyun kind of hated it.

He liked being Sunggyu’s happiness, but he wanted the older to have more than just that. He wanted him to enjoy his life day by day, see the bright side in things just like Woohyun was doing every day, just for the sake of being with Sunggyu. He had proposed to get a cat, because they often needed to be cared about, and Sunggyu needed to care about something else than just Woohyun. Although Sunggyu had said no way, Woohyun heard a maybe, so the next day he arrived with a little black cat in his hands, named Soo.

Soo died two months later.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Or maybe it was both of their faults. Either way, Sunggyu did the only thing he knew how to do: blame it on himself. They had loved the cat for those two months, showering the little kitten with endless love, even letting it sleep with them. But then Sunggyu had thrown out the garbage and didn’t close the door behind him. Soo was playful and yet too little to know what it was to be cautious in the outside world, so a car passed by in front of their apartment complex, and the inevitable happened.

“But…?” Sunggyu asks, and Woohyun takes his hands instead of replying.

One night, Woohyun passed by the bar. The day had been pretty tiring, and he really could use a little shot of whatever was that they had as their strongest drink. But before entering the bar, the shop besides it caught his attention. The shop was dark, quite a lot, yet something had drawn his attention.

Before he knew it, he had already told half of his life to this weird looking lady, and bought a jar of even more weird looking herbs that were supposed to ease his mind.

They open the 7th door. What was that supposed to mean? Either way, they were cheap, and Woohyun was too tired to say no.

Sunggyu looked at the herbs skeptical that night, but after Woohyun took the first sip and told him they were alright and actually quite tasty, he gave in. They went to sleep holding each other in their arms and quietly whispering sweet nothings until their minds slipped away from their reality.

“The first time we came here, it was only the two of us.” Woohyun explains. “At first, I thought it was only my dream, that I had this new unpopulated world in my head just for you and I. We spent our first day running around, (even rolling around), talking to each other as if this was the most normal thing, just like any other day. But this was better, because I was no longer preoccupied, and you were at ease, actually enjoying yourself.

“The next day, you described me your dream. And it had been exactly like mine.”

It wasn’t hard to understand what was going on. Although it was hard to believe it, they came around the idea quite quickly. At first, they just went to this other world in their most desperate days, when life was harsher than any other day. Then, they went because they realized life was better there, and they woke up to only serve themselves another cup of tea and continue their dream.

Since they were the only two in those dreams, they soon found out they were actually quite powerful. This world had no boundaries, no limitations. If Woohyun wanted to breath underwater, he made it happen. If Sunggyu decided he wanted to make a house, he made it happen. If he wanted a bigger one, in the dessert, in the mountains, by the beach, in the forest, Sunggyu had it. They were the kings of their dreams, and they were living it fully.

These dreams had their cons, too. If Woohyun cut his leg in there, he would wake up bleeding. Sunggyu had gotten really scared then, telling Woohyun that they will never go back there, that the cost isn’t worth enough if Woohyun would get injured like that.

Woohyun had pissed off.

“It’s the same, hyung!” Woohyun had snapped, roughly cleaning his wound. “If I get injured here, I must deal with it!”

“But it’s dangerous!” Sunggyu protested, “what if something really bad happened to us there? It would follow us here!”

“Aren’t you happy?” Woohyun asked in a whisper.

“Excuse me?”

“I haven’t seen you smile in ages like you smiled there, hyung. Haven’t seen you laugh as loud. You are happy there. And if that place makes you happy, then it’s worth the shot.”

At the end, Woohyun had gone to the shop again, asking the lady if there was any where to stay on the other side. She told him there was no such thing as leaving this world forever, and he should get used to the idea. He had left the store with fumes steaming from his ears that day, decided that he just needed to brive the lady a little.

He went to the store the next day, but when he arrived, the lady wasn’t at the counter. Woohyun had taken this opportunity to wait for her and check the other weird things she had on display on the other side of the shop. Then the lady walked in, but she wasn’t alone.

“And what did you tell him?” It was another lady, and through the shelfs Woohyun peaked without making a noise.

The lady scoffed. “I lied to him, of course. I can’t tell him the truth, it’s too dangerous and he looked quite desperate, I really think he would’ve done it.”

“You really think he would’ve put himself to sleep forever? Just to live on the other side?”

The lady shrugged. “It’s a painless transition, to sleep while smelling the herbs’ hodor if you burn them, so I think he would’ve really done it.”

Woohyun felt his heart beating hard, crouching on the floor and waiting for the moment the two ladies would go to the back of the store again for him to run outside.

“And we did it.” Woohyun says.

Sunggyu is speechless. “We…”

“You didn’t want to at the beginning,” Woohyun says, “but the idea convinced you soon enough. You had said something like, you want us to get high?! but at the end it wasn’t really getting high if it was a real thing, right?”

It happened one October afternoon. Woohyun had quit from his three jobs and Sunggyu was already unemployed, so he cleaned the house until Woohyun arrived. What are you doing? Woohyun asked, playful. ting my pants, Sunggyu grumbled. It didn’t take long enough, and it felt like any other night as they prepared to fall asleep. Woohyun lighted up some candles, and the herbs at last before tugging Sunggyu in his arms and whispering that everything would be alright.

“We never woke up.” Woohyun says.

“How did we become us?”

They’re sitting on a rocking chair attached onto to trees right outside of their house. They’re watching the sun setting, Sunggyu faintly resting his back on Woohyun’s chest with the younger’s arm around his neck, pushing him back into his grasp. Woohyun has a leg bending over the chair while the other hangs on, and he hums, thoughtful.

Woohyun had explained to him that he already sent a message to the others, while Sunggyu was sleeping. Before Sunggyu appeared in their bed, Woohyun was going through one of his regular moods in which he needed to get in isolation in an attempt to not harm anyone with his hurtful comments. Sunggyu knows what that means, knows the why of that, but he just hums without saying a thing.

The younger had offered him to go out for a bit, enjoy the nature how they used to do. They had agreed that it’d be nice to watch the sunset, and, Sunggyu thought, perhaps count the stars together, something he wanted to repeat ever since he did it with Dongwoo and Sungyeol.

“I confessed to you in High School.” Woohyun says, and Sunggyu titters.

“For some reason, I can’t imagine that.”

“I did!” Woohyun exclaims. “I tried on Valentine’s Day, but you just laughed at me and said cute. Then I tried again a week later, and, you know the first thing you said?” Sunggyu looks back at him, already smiling, and laughs when Woohyun does the best impersonation of him as he says, “Wow, so you really were confessing to me, huh?”

“I didn’t say that!” Sunggyu punches Woohyun as the other keeps on repeating the same sentence.

“You totally did. It hurt my ego, y’know?”

“Your ego needed some fixing, probably.” Sunggyu laughs, and does a bold move. He moves forward and presses a little, short kiss in Woohyun’s cheek. He doesn’t know what pulled him to do so, he just found it right to do. The other stops talking for a moment, and stares at him. “But, how did we happen?” he asks again, trying to focus Woohyun’s attention somewhere else.

“Well, you finally believed me the 2nd time around, but you told me I could get someone better.”

“You could.”

“Oh my God, shut up.” Woohyun rolls his eyes, and pulls Sunggyu by the neck. “I told you there wasn’t anyone better, that I wanted you, and you asked me, but what if I’m not ready? And I answered, I’d wait for you until you are.”

“What if I take a year?” Sunggyu asked, looking at 17 year old Woohyun clenching his fists, the top of his ears red. “Do you know how long a year is?”

Sunggyu was about to storm out of the room, when Woohyun answered accelerated, a mix of panic and anger in his voice.

“1 year is 365 days. 365 days are 8,760 hours. 8,760 hours are 525,600 minutes.” Woohyun said, angry. “You know how do I know this? Because that’s how long I’ve been in love with you, waiting. I wouldn’t mind doubling it.”

“You had some guts, huh?” Sunggyu laughs against Woohyun’s chest.

“Well, a year sounded like a second when I was already thinking about forever with you.”

“What about the others?”

They’re back on their bed, spooning each other. Sunggyu is playing with Woohyun’s hand. He has never been someone’s little spoon. Minseok had tried to spoon him once, but Sunggyu had excused himself to the bathroom and came back until he was sure the other had already fallen asleep.

Woohyun had explained to Sunggyu everything they did together, their adventures. They had written a list of activities to do together, and tried to accomplish them all. They lived a happy life like that, not aging a single day and instead, enjoying all of them at their fullest.

One day, Sunggyu had decided he wanted to climb the highest mountain. Woohyun didn’t find it in himself to say no, so they went ahead in their journey.

“But what does that have to do with them?” Sunggyu furrows his eyebrows. Woohyun stares at him for five long seconds, before sighing.

“That day,” Woohyun whispers softly, starting a conversation no one else should hear. “you died.”

If Woohyun knew something bad would have happened that day, he would’ve convinced Sunggyu to do something else instead, dive in water, make a swim in the forest, anything. Or maybe he would’ve been more careful, not letting go of Sunggyu’s hand how it happened that day.

They were climbing. Sunggyu was leading the way. Woohyun wanted to rest, admire the view from where they were. But Sunggyu wanted to continue, let’s reach the peak. Woohyun told him to go ahead, that he’d follow him behind shortly.

The landscape wasn’t that beautiful to begin with, so Woohyun doesn’t know what was the need to make such decision. Maybe he wanted the quiet the mountain had, he wanted to stop for a minute and think for a moment everything they’ve done so far.

“I just heard a scream” Woohyun sighs, forcing Sunggyu to look ahead and not peak an eye at him. The arm around Sunggyu’s waist tightens, and Sunggyu focuses on his words, “I didn’t see how it happened but— you were bleeding, a lot. Something had caught your foot, you were saying. You rolled down hill and a piece of rock ripped your skin and—”

“Woohyun.” Sunggyu tightens his hand over the other’s.

“You just were bleeding a lot, and I didn’t want to let you go, hyung.” Woohyun’s voice trembles, like a kid that was about to cry. “I did my best, but I was no doctor, and nothing I did helped you. You were telling me not to worry, but as I had you in my arms, I was feeling how you were slipping away from me. You were leaving me.

“So I let you go.”

Sunggyu turns around to hug Woohyun as the younger cries in the crook of his neck, sobbing loudly with fat tears streaming down his cheeks. He can’t help but cry a little too, the mere idea of Woohyun living in the perfect world feeling incomplete, suffering; it pains him enough.

“I’m here right now” Sunggyu says, even though he knows that doesn’t mean much. Nothing will erase the memory and Woohyun will never forget it.

So he lets Woohyun cry in his arms, somehow knowing that it’s the first time he’s ever gotten this type of affection ever since that happened. He can feel Woohyun’s raw pain, overflowing the room.

When Woohyun stops crying as hard, Sunggyu looks at him. He cleans his cheeks with his thumbs and kisses his eyelids.

“I’m here, Woohyun.” he repeats. He kisses Woohyun’s forehead. “I’m right here.” he kisses his cheek. “With you.”

His lips finally land on Woohyun’s, tasting each other in a gentle kiss. Sunggyu kisses him once, then twice, hand fixed on the back of his neck, head tilting so their lips match perfectly with each other like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle fitting together. Woohyun’s tongue pokes his lips and he doesn’t hesitate on opening his mouth, meeting his tongue halfway.

Woohyun’s hand slips through the fabric of Sunggyu’s shirt, caressing his hip as his mouth makes sure to take all the oxygen from him. Woohyun tastes like cake and lemonade, sweet and sour.

He tries not to compare these kisses with the ones he has shared with Minseok, but it’s inevitable, and he finds himself blushing at the thought that he liked Woohyun’s lips better. The younger fits him perfectly, not only in their lips but their bodies too, accommodating each other without any effort at all.

When the room starts getting a little hotter, they both stop, pecking each other’s lips before engaging on another tight hug.

“I let you go that day,” Woohyun continues later, when he has calmed down and Sunggyu has finally believe him. “but I didn’t want to forget you.” Woohyun avoids Sunggyu eyes, burying his head between the sheets and Sunggyu’s shirt. “I feared that you’d had disappeared from both worlds, that you wouldn’t be able to have a second chance because of my mistake. Because I couldn’t take care of you like I promised you.

“But I knew you were still alive, that you came back to the other side. I could feel you.”

Sunggyu frowns. “Why is it that I don’t remember you? That I didn’t feel that connection?”

“You went back to the other side, hyung. And since I gave up on my life there, I no longer exist. There is no Nam Woohyun there, so it’s understandable that you didn’t know me or feel me.” He explains. Sunggyu finds it amazing how can he say all that with a straight face, looking calm as ever.

“How can you be calm saying that?” Sunggyu asks.

“I’ve been living an angry life, Sunggyu.” Woohyun has been calling him hyung until now, and now that he said his name, an electric shock runs through his spine. “Without you here I hardly found happiness in everything, I— I had to take some extreme measures to not drive myself crazy without you.”

“What did you do, Woohyun?”

A part of Sunggyu fears the answer, hopes Woohyun hadn’t done something wild.

“The first one was Dongwoo.” Woohyun explains. “I took your excitement. It’s what I missed the most, so I made him the happiest living organism. I took some of your skills, your positivity.

“Then, Howon came. I liked Dongwoo a lot though, how couldn’t I? When he was a part of you, but I had forgotten about giving him some sense, responsibility.” Woohyun chuckles. “Having Dongwoo was like befriending a kid, although I purposely made him older than me, so he could see me as his dongsaeng, care for me. Dongwoo took a liken for the sea, so I let him live there.

“I made Howon. I took your sense of authority, I made him mature, in contrast with Dongwoo who, although I could rely on him, it wasn’t the same, y’know? Howon knows how to console me, he’s the one that gets me the most between the five. He gives me what I want without asking him to. Space, time, an advice. He takes care of the rest of them when I’m too down to do a thing.

“I needed someone to nag at me though, I missed that from you. I missed even the bad things about you. How you’d get all meanie at me when you’re not in the mood, how you would need your own space. But I couldn’t simply give someone that, right? I made Sungyeol as I thought about your attitude after a storm. I pondered over the thought of giving him your eyes, but I wanted to have something of his own, so I made his eyes big and expressive.”

“Are you saying my eyes are tiny and undemonstrative?”

Woohyun chuckles, hand raising and caressing his eyelids. Sunggyu smiles under the touch. “Your eyes are the most expressive ones, hyung. They’re the door to you, my world.”

Sunggyu smiles. “Who came next?”

“I thought about our cat. Soo.”

Sunggyu chuckles. “Really?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want to just have a cat, that’d be boring. So I made Myungsoo a boy, the prettiest— after you, of course. I gave him your tranquility, the way you’d stare out the window for hours, thoughtful, and still manage to make my day. I made him a little bit clingy, and gave him some freedom to be himself, didn’t think he’d gain a liking to Sungyeol, though. They’re like best friends, or something.”

“Myungsoo told me he gets on your nerves.” Sunggyu comments, smiling at the thought. Woohyun laughs sarcastically.

“Then, Sungjong came. He’s the last one I promised myself I’d make out of you. I gave him your straightforwardness. I made him a little clingy too” he laughs, “he’s the most selfless of the five, the one that cares the most, the most expressive too. Since I made Howon the responsible one, he didn’t use to feel like someone cared for him, not like how I made all of them to care about me. So I kind of made Sungjong for that purpose, too, for Howon.

“I told them about you, us. They don’t know they were born from you, or that I was the one that made them who they are.” Woohyun explains, “Sometimes I think they already know, though.”

Sunggyu stays quiet for a moment, thoughtful. Woohyun frowns.

“What is it?” He asks. “Remember that here I pretty much know what you’re thinking, but I want you to tell me.”

Sunggyu smiles. “It’s nothing, just… it’s a little hard to believe I have all those qualities. The five of them are amazing people, y’know?”

Woohyun fixes himself in the bed, getting closer to Sunggyu and with his arm, dragging the older back into his chest.

“I don’t like my life in the other side. I have none of those qualities, I’m gloomy, I’m not responsible, I’m not thoughtful, I don’t— I don’t feel like I’m living when I’m there.”

“Then come back to me, please.” Woohyun pledges.

Sunggyu looks at Woohyun’s eyes, finding a whole galaxy in him. He doesn’t quite remember any of the things Woohyun just told him about their history together, but he doesn’t think he’s lying either. It’s like hearing someone else’s biography, someone that really existed, events that really happened— it just feels a little hard to believe it’s his own biography.

What he knows is that he belongs here, with Woohyun. He spent the entire day hearing his voice and not once did he want the other to stop talking like he normally wishes when he meets someone who talks a lot. He wants Woohyun to tell him everything about himself, about what he has done without him, about what they’ll do in the future, if they get one together.

Because although Sunggyu doesn’t remember a thing yet, he knows he’d be able to fall for him all over again if he wasn’t already feeling madly in love with him.

“How do I do that?” He asks in a whisper.

In this moment, Sunggyu’s sure he’d do anything to be back. It isn’t just for Woohyun, but for himself. He knows he’s been living life the wrong way, that something has always been missing in his life, and it hadn’t just be Woohyun that was missing— parts of himself were missing too. All those things Woohyun took to make the others, Sunggyu lacked in the other side.

He doesn’t blame him, though. He tries to place himself in Woohyun’s shoes and he’d probably do the same. Now that he knows Woohyun, his body has been in bliss from their interactions, their every touch, he doesn’t want to give this up. He doesn’t want to leave Woohyun nor any part of himself that this place has. He wants to find himself, get to know himself better and go through the hardest and longest journeys. He wants to learn how to love himself.

“That’s easy,” Woohyun smiles, and Sunggyu has a hunch of what he’s going to say. “Do it like how we did the first time.”