Sunggyu feels like crying when his new neighbor moves in for the first day.

He still remembers the first day clearly—he just came by from his (another) ty convenience shop near Howon's apartment (he really tries to appreciate the younger to come over with his freaking greasy and annoying boyfriend just to make fun of him, he really does) and it's because it's his third part-time job in less than 12 hours.

What he notices right after he gets off the taxi is there are unopened boxes everywhere on dirty floor of the corridor and he can see the next room that supposed to look dark since a month ago fill with lights again. Sunggyu supposes he should prepare kimbap ingredients as a welcoming gift later—and by later he means the upcoming 12 hours (or maybe more).

He has done with shower and he's about to put his head on his ing pillow (simple verb, dammit) when he hears a supposed-to-be-shy-but-shamelessly-loud-instead giggle. That and soon follows by loud laugh and then cheesy comment and God, why he deserves to get this sensitive ear when all he wants to do is sleep?

It goes on for ten minutes—a freaking ten minutes with eyes wide open and he still doesn't put his head on his freaking fluffy pillow yet. When it finally stops, they break down all at once. Sunggyu, well he doesn't even know why he gives a on them but Sunggyu does stand up and walk towards his window to peek on them. The lights turn down suddenly, Sunggyu doesn't even had a time to breathe out a sigh of relief when the lights change to something colorful.

Then, the loud, obnoxious pop song he always demands to kill Howon whenever he tries to install it is sounding. Sunggyu resist to laugh out loud or he will get sent to some psychologist he needs so much right now.

He sleeps at 4 in the morning after he has done his three part-time jobs. Through the so-called karaoke in celebration to move in to new house.

∞

He then learns that his neighbor is one of his junior high school and what a fate, because he remembers a loud giraffe who acted like president back in high school meets his closest senior again at 27.

Their first meeting after a long time isn't something Sunggyu predicted to. He knocks on the door, hands holding onto messily handmade kimbap and feet clutch and un-clutched when the cold seeps through his shoes and socks and then the door's open.

Then, an attractive guy is looking deep into his eyes and Sunggyu looks down to see him smiling with those kissable lips.

"Myungsoo!" There's a husky voice calls over that kissable name and this Myungsoo guy goes all panic and relief at once. Though, Sunggyu doesn't miss the emergency expression Myungsoo had when he turns to the guy who's calling for him. Sunggyu immediately stops studying Myungsoo because the sound of the husky voice is finally sinks in his brain and he's sure he has heard it somewhere.

Apparently, the guy doesn't get it (or doesn't see it, Sunggyu doesn't sure—it's not like he can see anyway) and the next thing that approaches Sunggyu's sight is a tall guy with a bony arm and tan skin pushes The Gorgeous to the door before kisses him on the lips.

Sunggyu doesn't know what this Giraffe expects from him because as he finally sees a lucky guy standing at the doorway, he doesn't say anything, eyes stay widening. The Gorgeous looks at each other blankly before saving the awkward moment of Sunggyu's life—it doesn't that save either, but Myungsoo pushes that Giraffe off their space and looks at Sunggyu fully. Sunggyu finally registers the solid feel he has on his palm.

"Th-this is... Kimbap, for... You." He doesn't even know what he talks about and he doesn't want to—it definitely something embarrassing so better safe his today.

"Thank you." Myungsoo accepts as he flashes a big smile—if he does it again, Sunggyu is sure he will has nosebleed in no time. They go quiet then, Sunggyu starts to shift his leg back and forth and he doesn't know where to go from here. He is about to excuse himself when Myungsoo opens the door wider, revealing empty and dull living room. "Would you like to go inside?"

∞

Sunggyu doesn't know how but he finds himself laughing at Sungyeol's joke and his hand has a bottle of Pepsi and he doesn't know why but finding that hitting Sungyeol's thigh every time he's laughing almost normal. Sungyeol doesn't complain anything, and about to continue his story when Myungsoo interrupts in to put some glasses.

The atmosphere becomes unplanned-ly silence and Sunggyu worries that Myungsoo (still gorgeous) assumes that they just condemned him. The universe being kind to him for once when Sungyeol introduces Sunggyu was transfer student in his school. Myungsoo goes all excitingly happy as he reacts to Sungyeol's remarks and Sunggyu doesn't understand why. 

"Had we met?" He asks Sungyeol instead of himself and he hurts just a little. Sungyeol shakes his head.

"You spent in Block E for three years. Sunggyu finishes his school when you're 15," he explains. Myungsoo doesn't say anything after that, just absentmindedly humming as he pours the bicarbonate water (he just awkwardly give Myungsoo the Pepsi he feels like hiding out) into the glasses. Sunggyu gains Sungyeol's attention without Myungsoo's knowledge.

"Boyfriend?" He mouths Sungyeol without a sound and the younger answers with a raise of an eyebrow in proud. Sunggyu rolls his eyes.

"You know, it's just our luck to have Sunggyu saw we kissed early," Sungyeol remarks into his glass as Myungsoo hands one, so utterly straightforward Myungsoo hits him in the arm.

"It's okay, I feel like a third wheel every time Howon hangouts with his boyfriend when I'm around," Sunggyu replies a while later. Myungsoo's face become so close to him suddenly, and he's about to close his eyes to let every heaven happens and why Myungsoo's blushing?

"Howon?" He recalls the name. Sunggyu feels thankful for the first time to have small eyes.

"Urm... Yeah, Howon. Did you know him?" Before Myungsoo could answer anything, Sungyeol interrupts in.

"His three years helpless crushed, teacher to his brother on dancing class, Dongwoo's closest junior is no other than Lee Howon." Sunggyu turns to Myungsoo, his heart sinks in laughable way as he raises his eyebrows to ask if it's true. The blush paints on Myungsoo's cheek is enough to show any indication, so he turns away without waiting for an answer—he is not angry, really (he uses body-language more and more on this day).

∞

"Oi, bastard!" Sunggyu whispers on Howon's ears as the younger tries to steal some time to sleep. The train is passing so fast that Howon barely registers Sunggyu's face because of his nonstop-shaking head. "Aigoo, aigoo, is this the one who got bullied by me on the Chuseok Event, answered elephant when I asked what elementary in English and said that it was your knotted-tongue?" Sunggyu wiggles both his eyebrows to show him a mischievous side of him (Howon really has to know that he scold people too). Howon's eyes widen when he finally can process the words. A second later, Howon's palm wraps around Sunggyu's throat, eyes get smaller.

"Where did you get this from?"

"Calm down, young man," a guy, well more of a man, loosens Howon's grip around Sunggyu's neck and the younger quickly apologizes, ignores the way the man is staring at him with a look he's been experienced for years. Sunggyu still doesn't understand even after the long years of being with Howon, how can he is the one who most men interest in? A few minutes later Howon turns to him back, and tries to kill him with his glare—Sunggyu is so used to that, Howon should know that.

"Sungyeol told me," Sunggyu simply says as he grins on Howon's change-of-expression. It's confusion.

"Wait, what?" And oh, surely Sungyeol was Howon's only friend back at his 3rd grade (he tries not to laugh at the statement but unexpectedly, it was fact). Mentioning his old friend of course shocking Howon. "You mean that Lee Sungyeol guy? The one that joined our band after Sungjong left?" Sunggyu hums as an answer. Howon gaps. "Wait? W-why? And how?" A pause, as Howon looks multiple blanker than he usually pretends. "When?!" And that's loud.

Apparently, the answer Sunggyu gives isn't the one Howon wants to, but he's just humming in agreement after Sunggyu asks him to come to his loft later.

Sunggyu has already had his feet covered in Nike when Howon comes over. The younger frowns when Sunggyu demands him to follow him after tells Howon to put the guitar he's brought over inside.

The loft beside his is neater than yesterday, which is something he feels grateful for, considering Howon as a possessive-judgmental especially on the first met. Thankfully, Sungyeol greets them, and Howon recognizes him easily. He attacks Sungyeol with hug, which is weird because the Howon Sunggyu has been known for a while is so sensitive to skinship much less a hug—not when it comes to Woohyun, of course.

They get in then, Howon still mutters something like he doesn't believe he can finally meets Sungyeol that Sunggyu can see a sparkle in his eyes when Sungyeol want to joke or just simply talk. Perhaps there's something about them Sunggyu didn't know.

But it's all over when Myungsoo comes in, body freshly gets out of shower as he dries his hair using the towel. Sunggyu's heart feels like dropping when Myungsoo turns to him, face so close as he asks who Howon is quietly. Apparently, Myungsoo's whisper is not that quiet, because the two suddenly falls in silence. Sunggyu turns to Sungyeol to see he fixes himself with something Sunggyu can't see, and Howon, oh, that's the source of the silence. Howon looks stunned, eyes wide and mouth open-close all in the matter of seconds when he finally blurting "are you an angel?"

Myungsoo feels shocked at the compliment but just grins sheepishly—he is too used of this kind of words thrown to him. He shrugs, "well, last time I check I didn't live in the moon so... is it obvious enough?" He tilts his head to one side and both Howon and Sunggyu die.

They end up playing some indoor games as Sunggyu and Myungsoo are too lazy to get their over outdoor one. The chess earlier is boring (Howon won too much, no wonder he is Won) and the (mostly Howon and Myungsoo who are the only unused to each other's presence here) they had have gone to be more serious topic. Myungsoo tells them that he'd dropped out of university after being suspected to have tumor in his brain.

"A month or so, it was confirmed that I only had primary tumor." Even through the conversation, Sunggyu manages to eliminate Sungyeol's Queen. He celebrates silently.

"What are the symptoms?" Among of all, Howon happens to be the most concentrate member to hear Myungsoo out. Sunggyu feels slightly envies to the statement.

"Seizures, often headache, difficulty of thinking...” Myungsoo turns to Sungyeol. "And..."

"You lost controls on your body." Then Sungyeol turns to Howon. "I thought it just his natural clumsiness coming out of season." Howon doesn't get the joke, instead he frowns.

"It's serious matter." Sunggyu says with a nod, which something he regrets to. Might as well says grass is green, right? He can see Howon covers his mouth to hold himself from laughing, Sunggyu rolls his eyes on that. Myungsoo doesn't look like he minds, because he himself nods. "Do you have anything you like to do Myungsoo-ssi?" Sunggyu asks out of blue (and just to escape himself from the embarrassment).

He is glad that he did it as he sees Myungsoo's grin creeping out. "Well, it's...” Myungsoo starts to look at Sungyeol, in the flash his eyes go to something that Sunggyu can only assume disappointment.

"In my drawer," Sungyeol says suddenly. Myungsoo gestures them to wait and he's gone in a moment. When Myungsoo is back, his hands are holding DSLR camera that looks so old. As he sits, Myungsoo shows the camera pointly.

"This," he says with a soft voice, Sungyeol scoffs at that. Even it just his second time meeting, Sunggyu can tell that the camera Myungsoo's holding is so precious to the younger boy, he hopes he himself has something to proud off (maybe he has, but everyone could understand the singing the way he is). Myungsoo shows them how to use it before displays all the pictures he has taken, Sungyeol tells both Sunggyu and Howon embarrassing stories about Myungsoo and the camera at the side. In the soothing silence, Sunggyu hopes that it joins with Sungjong, Dongwoo and Woohyun, but there's a small voice telling him that hearing Myungsoo's voice is the best idea in the moment.

"What was that hyung?" Howon asks, rather dramatically, as Sunggyu sets the guitar on his sofa in his loft a while later. Sunggyu frowns in confusion.

"What was what?" He asks as he makes sure which the string of the guitar has broken. The idea hits him suddenly, "Myungsoo? The gorgeous guy who happens to be my neighborhood which ditching every late hours for the past week since they're here?" Howon's about to open his mouth to say something but Sunggyu continues on. "You're meant to ask why he is so pretty when you have Woohyun on your side?" Sunggyu wiggles his eyebrows, doesn't feel a little bit of guilt.

It gets Howon to frown. "He's just pretty, that's all. It's not like I'll fall in love in the first sight."

"Uh-huh, but what I know about Lee Howon is that he'll never call one an angel." A pause. "Except he has fallen on someone." Howon rolls his eyes at the statement but chooses to ignore it.

"When will you give back the guitar hyung?" It's avoidance, Sunggyu knows. But he just plays along.

"Next week, maybe," Sunggyu says, fiddling with the guitar's broken strings. Howon pouts (ridiculously) all of a sudden.

"My anniversary is this Friday. Can you make it that day?" Sunggyu scoffs, but nods anyway.

Next time, he should think wisely before nodding.

Sunggyu knocks on the other's door urgently, hopping for time to time that they're in home. It takes fourth round of knocking (he's surprise he doesn't give up) when the door is finally open wide. It has been a long time since their met and Sungyeol doesn't bother to fake a smile but showing an annoyed-face to Sunggyu instead.

"What the was that hyung?" And doesn't bother keeping curse to himself too.

"I'm so sorry Sungyeol. But tomorrow is Friday and I know it's quiet late but..."

"When you're knocking my door in 4 a.m. I suppose it is late." Sunggyu ignores him.

"..But I should repair Howon's guitar and I got really busy this week that I don't have time to think about it. You hear me, not even think about it. I was asleep and I dreamed about Howon asking me about the guitar but I get panicked... Anyway, it was a complete nightmare. Then I woke up. And I remembered I have seen black guitar in your house that day so I thought you can help me with this ?" He knows he adds puppy-eyes in the ends but he just need someone to help him, even just for a moment. Sungyeol rolls his eyes, turns around and walk away. Sunggyu just continues to stare in disbelief of his rudeness. When he almost turns his back, the voice comes.

"Where's the guitar?" That gorgeous face comes back.

Instead of repair it in Sungyeol's home, Myungsoo suggests them to do their work in Sunggyu's place.

"Sungyeol will keep complaining," he says, voice still hoarse. They do their work in soothing silence, then all too soon Myungsoo is cleaning up.

"You can sleep here, you know?" Myungsoo looks livelier when his face lights up, but still sleep-deprived.

"You sure?" He asks back. Sunggyu nods. "But you have to sleep with me, okay?" Sunggyu gapes, but he is sure he nods.

For the first time, Sunggyu wakes up on 4 a.m. and doesn't bother sleeping again.

"Howon!" Sunggyu runs towards him, doesn't care with the heavy and jiggling guitar case on his back. "He sleeps on my bed!" Howon chokes on his drink, Woohyun laughs at the sight.

"Who?"

"Kim Myungsoo!" Sunggyu shouts again, bouncing excitedly and hoping he is five-year-old. Howon looks shock at the answer but keep quiet when Sunggyu continues on. "And you know what? He really likes cuddling in his sleep, just like kid, you know? And he was doing brilliant job with your guitar even in that state, when I promise that I'll treat him dinner, his face is... Beyond adorable! And you know what he just likes curry--"

"Hyung, he has a boyfriend." When Sunggyu becomes all down, it's clear that Howon has said something that clearly wrong. "..Right?" He asks, and now Sunggyu's face is completely off without the smile. Woohyun recognizes that too, so he calls for the waitress and treats Sunggyu some rib eye steak. Despite Sunggyu acts hard to behave normally (and by normally, he is not that behave), Howon still keeps close eyes on him.

Sunggyu eats his rib eye steak in silence. Thought he notices Howon keeps glancing on him once in a while, he reacts nothing of it. Woohyun must have noticed their sudden pressure of awkwardness, because later he excuses himself to the washroom after pecks Howon on the cheek. Still, Sunggyu acts like nothing, and feed him another bite of his food. However, because of his natural slow-motionness, Howon lifts his spoon up and causes the steak to drop right onto his Nike.

"What the f...”

"You're in love," Howon simply states. Sunggyu continues his words in silence. Howon doesn't buy his glare though. "...with a boy who has a boyfriend that lives right beside your unit." Sunggyu intends to laugh sarcastically, but he ends up rolling his eyes just because Howon's gaze looks dangerous than usual.

"So?" Truth to be said, he wants to decline the fact or just tell Howon to off, but of course Howon would see the usual nervous state of himself. Howon takes a deep breath suddenly.

"It's okay. I would think of it." Sunggyu tilts his head to one side at Howon's words, but the younger just waves it off as he sees Woohyun coming on their way.

That night, Sunggyu's mind torture him as usual.

It's actually natural that Sunggyu finds himself having insomnia but after the existence of that Kim Myungsoo right next to his unit, he can't think about anything else but him.

Sunggyu sighs as he realizes how pathetically crush-er of him. It's almost at the midnight and Sunggyu guesses he has three more hours before sleepy really hits him.

There's a knock in his door. No, knocks.

Sunggyu frowns but doesn't make any attempt to open the door because really, just who the is coming on his unit knocking onto his door at 11:54 p.m.? He hopes next time the latter will make some researches about robbing, hopefully. The knocking only ends after five minutes and start to knock back as twenty-second rest.

"Sunggyu hyung?" The voice, the voice who has been calling his name just two seconds ago, he ing knows that voice.

Wait, is Myungsoo sobbing?

Sunggyu shoots on his bed upright, having a sudden anxiety about Myungsoo crying in front of his door.

Most of the time, Sunggyu's instinct has always been wrong. But after the long time, he doesn't happy when it's right for now. As the way he guesses it would be, he opens the door to find Myungsoo hugging on his purple teddy bear as he wipes his wet, wet face.

Sunggyu forgets how it's happen, but now Myungsoo is in huge hug of his as he cries and cries and cries. Sunggyu lefts on being as worthless guy living on Earth as he can't do anything but let Myungsoo holding what's possible in himself in his bedroom. Myungsoo seems to cry out loud, even now, but what sounds now is his unstoppable sniffs. His eyes look angry, angry red and puffy. Though, still, he is gorgeous like this.

It seems like he finally realizes where he is as he scans all inch in Sunggyu's bedroom, and Sunggyu hopes he doesn't see that piles of boxers—too late.

"Hey," Sunggyu starts, hand absentmindedly Myungsoo's soft hair. "You okay there?" Which is incredibly stupid too asked because Myungsoo wouldn't coming onto his door crying so loud and he surely won't launch himself onto Sunggyu right now. Though, he smiles a little.

"I'm being stupid," he says after a while, then closes his eyes for brief moment and though it barely noticeable, Sunggyu saw it.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Myungsoo shakes his head, and then, just like that, he passes out.

∞

Sunggyu wakes up on his aching back and quiet murmur of Myungsoo. He firstly raises his head from where it was resting, and frown. His bedsheets isn't this white.

Then, a rush of events took after his mind; he was running somewhere to get his smartphone, eyes so widened just to reach for the ing gadget and called ambulance right away as he found it. Later, Myungsoo laid down on the stretcher as his body unconscious, but before he was shoved to the body of the ambulance, his mouth whisper something.

'Sungyeol, you lied.'

His body shoots upright to stand position, eyes as big as they were last night.

His head turns, so slowly to the only boy that could catch up his attention doing nothing. Myungsoo is waking up, hand uncomfortably reaching for Sunggyu's as his expression confuses as Sunggyu is. Sunggyu reaches for his hand, and though the sweets, he likes the way it's softening on his touch.

Sunggyu expects something like 'where am I?' lines on Myungsoo's lips, but the latter hesitantly opens his mouth, so slightly before whispers.

"Can you kill me?" His hand grips Sunggyu's even tighter, his eyes turn red in a flash and then, he bursts into tears.

He is crying so loud that Sunggyu scares that he's waking another patients, they're not in the private room as it's Myungsoo's first time waking up from his longing pass-out and Myungsoo is punching his chest over and over again as he mutters,

"Just kill me, just ing kill me. I'm not that- I'm ed up, please, just shoot me or stab me. I don't care!" 

Sunggyu kisses him, tears unknowingly drop in its way down his cheek.

"Will you ever tell me about it?" Sunggyu asks a while later as Myungsoo is so desperate to 'get some fresh air'. Both of their eyes are puffy and sometimes, they would sniff and sometimes, they would at each other for 'making an annoying noise.' Myungsoo's eyes suddenly feel heavy; he doesn't tell Sunggyu, but the elder knows. He always know everything, except when it comes to Howon and Myungsoo. Both of them seem too hard to be understandable.

"It's not like you will understand anyway," Myungsoo answers, sniffing, and then turns to Sunggyu. He knows he has hurt the other's feeling, but Sunggyu did the same too. What with the kissing? He wonders what he has done so wrong that everyone makes him as a plaything, some of them even ignores him. Things get worse, he whispers to himself. You have a reason on why you shouldn't get your hope up. Though Sunggyu seems to be trustable, Myungsoo knows better. He knows like the way he trusted Sungyeol. Until one night, he brings home another girl, different from the one he usually texts to, and while Myungsoo is too shock for the strong smell of alcohol on Sungyeol's body, the girl recognized him and slapped Sungyeol in the face. He doesn't know, or exactly doesn't want to know just why Sungyeol beat him that night after he realized the girl is no longer in his arm.

Myungsoo's eyes start to stain, but he knows it's not because what has happened. He wants to cry because there's a guy beside him who is madly in love with him but he can't do the same. Not when he has enough things with Sungyeol.

Sunggyu might be alcoholic, because the night before he knew Sungyeol dumped him, Sunggyu called him and shouted I love you, Myungsoo took no answer on it.

"Do you want to hear some story?" Myungsoo starts, his voice is hoarse and he hates that. Sunggyu must have knew his broken heart now. Sunggyu doesn't answer anything, so Myungsoo takes that as a 'yes.' "Back then," Myungsoo hesitates a little, but goes on. It's about his past, and he's not going to breakdown like how he used to be. "I was in love with this one guy. And because we are three years apart, I saw him a lot. Our block was the same one..." Myungsoo pauses suddenly, Sunggyu doesn't entirely focus on him. "I was in love with him because... He is kind, like, so kind. And cool. His voice is sweet and I can't live without heard them at least once a week.

"Then, I was going to confess to him. Like, the real one this time. And while I was busy trying to buy things for the confession day that supposed to happen the next day, Sungyeol broke it off with told me he was going to another place tomorrow. Funny thing is that, I broke down, the real one. And I was about to commit suicide when Sungyeol confessed to me that he likes me. The next day, on top of that. And I just can't believe it. Because yesterday Sungyeol was beating me and today it's you who hold me together. The same guy who broke me years ago." Myungsoo's voice trails off as Sunggyu stares him straight in the face, eyes wide.

"What did you try to send me actually?" Sunggyu asks rather seriously. Myungsoo smiles.

"I do love you, Kim Sunggyu. I do. But I'm scare that what has happened to me will repeat by the one who broke me down years ago. It's stupid because it's not you who is to be blamed for, but all in all, I just want you go know that I love you. Sincerely." Sunggyu frowns at Myungsoo's words.

"But?"

"I just need time."

-

Three years later

Sunggyu wakes up on intangible noises Myungsoo was making as he tries to get his head into the crook of Sunggyu's neck. Myungsoo is weird, Sunggyu thinks loudly. Even weirder when he gets all touchy the time he's sleeping. Sunggyu moves his leg just the slightest but it still touches Gary's. Sunggyu sighs. 

The moment later, he is patting Gary (the stray cat Myungsoo found two months ago and claimed as their daughter) on the head as he tries to keep Myungsoo's head on place.

He sighs again.

Just another day living.