It was a sunny afternoon just our usual day, Irene and I went for a stroll. College but I somehow survived on a daily basis because I got her. Imagine few more months and we are both going to graduate. I am currently taking a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science while she's taking up a Bachelor of Arts in Communication.
Soon the two of us would be able to get our dream jobs. I am planning to give myself a break before finding a job while Irene is already decided to work as a radio announcer at the local radio here in Haeundae. We were block mates before but due to our majors, we only got to see each other in some of our minor subjects.
But it did not stop us from seeing each other during break periods. We go to school together, she wanted me to always pick her up with my dying scooter. Speaking of my scooter it has been weeks since I left it at the repair shop. We only have half-day today so it would be great to spend some alone time with her.

For some reason, she's being extra happy. I wanted to know why but I just let her be. I was contemplating for weeks to tell her but I always got scared. I felt like she has all the right to know my deepest secret. I've been in love with her for too long. And these feelings should be revealed at once. I wanted to tell how I really feel for her regardless if she's into girls or not. At least I tried, right?

We were walking while hands intertwined with one another. Yeah, we were really close, we both don't mind other people's opinions about us.
Well everyone knows we're best friends even the Muaythai Club.
And even at their home, we're like this and her mom is just cool with it.

I stopped walking and she glanced at me. "Baechu," I started. "Well, I have something to tell you. Please promise me that you won't be acting awkward if I tell you something or you won't change the way you are towards me." I warned her.

"Lili, why so serious? You are making me nervous. What is this about?" She squeezed my hand to encourage me to go on.

"Well I'd been keeping this secret but I can't bear it anymore. It is very important for me to hear your honest opinion since you are one of the-"

"Irene!!" Someone interrupted.

I was not able to tell her when Jinyoung came out from nowhere and got in front of us and pulled Irene away from me. So I just let go of her hand. "Hey, you ready for our date?" He took Irene's bag. "Hi, Lis. Are these Irene's books?" He asked pointing to the books I was carrying.

"Hi, Jinyoung, yes, it's hers." I answered. It was not a new scene to me. He always pops out of nowhere. He never gave us space to breathe. The last thing I heard he was still courting Irene but probably that already escalated since they were talking about dates now.

"Lemme takes these." Jinyoung offered. I admit he's really one of those nicest guys ever exist on this planet, no wonder Irene easily fell for him. I knew Irene has been crushing on him and well it was like they were really fated to be together. I was just so surprised that Irene never mention them going on a date. He then ruffled my bangs. "Manobangs! Thank you for carrying Irene's belongings."

"Sure, no biggie, Thanks as well," I said to Jinyoung shortly as I was handing the books over to him.

"Lili, what were you saying earlier?" Irene waited for me to continue where I left off.

"Nothing, we can talk about this later. It's not really important." I tried to hide my disappointment. "So the two of you got a date, huh?" I teased but deep inside I wanted to run away and cry my heart out. Of course, Irene won't be liking me the way I like her. How stupid of me?

"Oh, so do you want to tag along? We will just watch a movie and eat out." Irene invited me.

"Yah, Lis, I won't mind." Jinyoung smiled at me which only made me more guilty, he's really nice and caring to Irene. I have nothing against this guy.

"Nuh, I am not up to be third-wheeling with you guys. Go on and enjoy your date. I'll just head back to my dorm." I declined. "I need to do something for my majors."

"Are you sure, you'll be fine alone?" Irene asked worriedly. She took my hand and squeezed it once again. "You know you are always welcome to join us. Just in case you change your mind just follow us at the mall, okay?"

Of course not! Who's gonna be okay being your second best, huh? I got friend zone as usual so it is never okay.

"I'll be fine. I'll just study alone. Go on love birds don't mind me." I pushed them teasingly. But honestly, I wanted to kick him but I couldn't of course. I was so envious of him. I wonder how it feels like dating Irene. Well, we have our friendly dates but it's a different experience to ask her out on a romantic date.

"Okay, bye. Well, talk later!" Irene meaningfully winked at me and gave me a brief kiss on the cheek. Which made me blushed as usual. Haist.... I just let out a long sigh. Can't she do that to me? Every time she does that, I don't know, it just makes me weaker.

"Bye, Lis. See you around." Jinyoung said as he waved at me
So I just forced a smile. I am okay. I am really okay.

I pray to God that there will be a massive blackout and even the malls' generator would not work so the two of them can't really enjoy it.

I walked back to my dorm kicking every stone I saw on my way back. 'Gees not good timing. Maybe I just forget about confessing my feelings to her. She's happier now. Jinyoung is a good guy. They're both perfect. '

I don't want to ruin our friendship. But I really don't have time. I should tell her before it's too late.

Nope, just forget about it. You are just her best friend period. No more, no less so why now? Have you not seen her face earlier when Jinyoung approached her? She's the happiest with him. Allow her to be happy. Don't be selfish and don't make excuses, Lisa.

I shook my head, after mentally scolding myself. I knew I voiced out some of my thoughts. Why was I even talking with myself? I am really losing my sanity. I think I should just call my childhood friend.

I dialed the number and was so glad she picked up right away. She's in good mood to pick up. Some days are bad, some days are good. Today's my lucky day.

"Hey, monkey de Lisa, what's up?" Her voice sounded excited. Hmmm when was the last time I called her? I did try but she refused to speak with anyone so I just let her be. It's really hard to deal with her nowadays. So I take all the chances I got just to talk to her. Finally, she's willing to talk to me.
She's a friend from my hometown. We were both members of the mountaineers club. She has become my best friend after she saved my life. Yeah, I owe my second life to her.
I accidentally slipped at the cliff and no one noticed I was missing that time. She's one of the goofiest members of the club but we were not that close. That incident made us closer. The funny thing about it is we do really think alike and she's just 8 months older than me. So I had so many memorable adventures with her.

"Hi! How's your health?" I tried to be sensitive because for sure she could snap anytime at me.

"Same thing. But let's not talk about my health now. When are you planning to visit me?" She responded with a much calmer voice now.

"Probably this summer. But how about we change the plan instead? You need to get your lazy healthy and visit me so I could finally introduce you to my other best friend." I suggested. I could hear her groan on the other line.

"What's the use of it? Sooner or later I will no longer be able to travel, Monkey. Just go here." As usual, I got a decline from her.

"You are being dramatic. It's not like you are going to die young." I teased. No offense but she's just really being negative about everything.

"Hmmmm..."

"What?" I asked as I impatiently waited for her decision.

"Your other best friend. You always talk about her. So did you confess?" She changed the topic, of course, to get away from it. A clever counter. Well, she's someone who listens without judging me. But I never told her Irene's name. I wanted them to meet personally since both of them are very important people to me.

"I don't think I can. I don't even know if she's attracted to girls. But I am telling you this uhm, she hummmm, might change her preference. Your abs is to die for." I jested since I know she's been always a chick magnet. She had a beautiful girlfriend. We used to hang out together and the two of them were matched made in heaven.

She chuckled, I rarely heard it from her. She was really a changed woman when she had the accident 2 years ago. She used to be full of energy and very positive in life. I didn't know that one's fate could be changed in just a split second. I wished I could be any help for her. She shouldn't feel that way about herself. There is always hope. That car accident took a toll on her.

"I thought you like her so much. Then why are you pushing her to me?" She asked. It seemed weird but I don't know with myself too. Maybe if I don't stand a chance, she would. And I am just so comfortable with them being acquainted with each other.

"I do, I really do like her. No, uhm you know I am in love with her, right?" I corrected myself like a fool.

"You know I won't be interested. I will be useless soon. I wish it just end sooner so I won't be a burden to anyone. And my legs are not even responsive these days even with the ongoing treatment, now my left eye is irritated, I can't even read books for several days now."

"Don't you dare say that?" I warned her. Why it hurts so much hearing her pitying her own self?

"Lis, let's face it. It will soon happen. I wish I could be as positive as you. This is real talk. Then I wish I could see you before anything else. You're like my twin sis, you know. When do you plan to visit Seoul?"

We were both quiet for some moment. I don't want her to give up. I knew there would be some kind of solution that the doctor could take chances with. If the treatments aren't working we could consider surgery. She is just being difficult to convince. Her mom told me to do everything to convince her but she's hard-headed and she never listens even to me. I just let out a sigh.

"Monkey...." She broke the long silence on the other line.

"Hey, yeah, I am still here. I just saw someone and checked her out." I lied.

"You moron! Stop being a ert."

"Yah! I am not a moron nor a ert. I learned it from you." I defended.

"Please don't worry about me. I am just fine." Her voice was soft.

"I am not even worried about you. Your situation is far from mine. So don't ever give up in life, please."

"Now who's being dramatic? Are you even sick?"

"I am healthy 100%. Just broken-hearted as always." I chuckled.

"Aish, is she really that pretty? Why don't you send pictures of her to me so I can be the judge."

"Yah, I can't. It's inappropriate to send pictures without her consent."

"Forget it. Who told you I'll be interested. I know your standard."

"Take it back! I am going to punch you when I see you. Well, I just think