I wished the painful parts of my memories would disappear. That was my thought as I rubbed at the still healing wounds on my arms. They really affected my circulation, which meant I was cold a lot of the time, even with the long sleeves. ChAOS, Hyunmin, and their small healer (aka me) were sitting at a table in the cafeteria type place in the submarine, plates of steaming portions of food in front of us. The kitchen was awesome, and the cook was amazing. I really didn't want to ask what kind of meat it was, though, because generally, they use whatever they can find. Don't worry, they never use humans. This isn't some freaky Walking Dead ranch with crazy people. Hyunsun must have noticed that I was shivering, because he threw his jacket around my shoulders wordlessly and went back to eating. He was on the other side of Duhwan, who was beside me. It would have been a world of awkward if he was right beside me. After all, he was mad at me. I thanked him softly and pushed my arms through the sleeves. It was big on me, so I tried really hard not to get any food on it. Taeyang, who was on my other side, patted my head softly and smiled at me before returning to eating. I ate slowly, because swallowing still hurt a little when the food got to a certain place in my throat, but I like to think I hid that from them as well. I guess I can understand where Hyunsun was coming from, in a way. I don't want people to worry about me, and I don't want their pity. That's why I hid my nearly-healed-but-bound-to-scar wounds. If they didn't already know about my injuries, they sure as hell weren't going to know. But the members ChAOS (minus Hyunsun) already know, and I hoped they wouldn't tell Hyunsun. Hyunmin didn't know either, and I really didn't want to younger boy to worry about me. I figured Taeyang knew I didn't want any more people to know.

“How can she possibly be cold with those sleeves on?” Hyunsun muttered almost too softly for me to hear. Duhwan smacked him in the arm. “Ow, what was that for?”

“She has bad circulation because-” Duhwan started. I grabbed his sleeve and shook my head lightly at him when he looked at me. “B-because she's...small.” I sighed in relief at his save. Hyunsun raised an eyebrow at me before deciding that he didn't care and went back to eating. I made a face at him and went back to eating as well. Hyunmin's face was full of confusion while Heejae and Dongmin looked at me from across the table. They were probably wondering why I didn't want Duhwan to tell Hyunsun about my injuries. I gave them a look that hopefully told them I'd explain later. It either said that or 'shove your food in your mouth and eat,' I'm not sure. We finished the rest of the meal in awkward silence.

Hyunmin dragged his brother off after they both finished eating to see something that he had made (he built model ships when he wasn't on missions. I swear, it's the cutest thing). As he was dragged away, Hyunsun cast one last look at us. Unfortunately, I was the only one watching, as the others were cleaning up (after insisting that I didn't need to help. Aish, these boys...), and his eyes grew cold as he turned away. That cold look in his eyes sent shivers down my spine, and I hoped that Taeyang was right and that Hyunsun would get over his anger soon. Duhwan ruffled my hair as the boys moved around the table, cleaning up.

“Why don't you want us to tell him about your injuries?” he asked, glancing over at me before turning his eyes back to the dishes he was carrying. I folded my hands in my lap and looked around at them.

“W-well, I don't want him to be nice to me just because I'm hurt. I wanted him to work up to it on his own time. I-I mean, I kind of understand him in that I don't want anyone to worry about me. I already have you guys worrying, so...I just don't want to burden anyone else,” I said softly.

“That's dumb. Ow!” Dongmin said, receiving a smack in the arm from Taeyang. I laughed lightly.

“I guess it is, but that's just how I've always thought,” I said. Taeyang raised an eye at me.

“Is that why you healed people while you were in the infirmary without telling anyone? I mean, aside from the ones you knew the doctors knew about. The crew does talk to me, you know. I know all about it,” he said. My eyes widened at him.

“You knew?!” I asked loudly. He gave me a stern look. “Aish, I knew you'd get mad at me, that's why I never told any of the doctors. Because I know they would tell you. I asked the crew not to tell you, either, but...Argh!” I slammed my head against the table in front of me.

“Then stop trying to hide things from me,” he said, coming behind me and patting the back of my head. I turned my head, my cheek to the table still, to stick my bottom lip out at him.

“But I don't want to b-” I started.

“Burden me?” he finished for me. I sat up and turned away from him like a stubborn child. He sighed and sat down at the chair next to me while the others went to the kitchen to wash the dishes. “You're not a burden, Yuri. We care about you, and because we care, we're going to worry whether we have reason to or not-”

“Then stop worrying about me!” I yelled, standing up and knocking over my chair in the process to glare at him. “I never asked for your concern! I didn't ask to be treated like a fragile doll! I'm not weak, I can take care of myself!”

“You may not have asked for our concern, but we just want to help you-”

“What if I don't want your help?! I never asked for you to save me!” It wasn't that I was angry at them for worrying about me. It was just...I'd never had anyone concern themselves with me, and I was used to doing things on my own. It was strange to me that they treated me like, well, a fragile doll. I didn't like being fussed over, because it wasn't what I was used to. He looked at me sadly, and I almost broke down to apologize. Instead, I looked away from those sad eyes.

“You didn't ask to be saved, not with your voice. But your eyes pleaded for me to save you. Your eyes told me you didn't want to die. I couldn't just leave you there,” he said softly. I was surprised that, throughout my yelling, he remained calm. I expected him to blow up at me, like he did with Hyunsun, to tell me I was being stupid. But he never did. As tears of anger and regret fell down my face, he stood up and wrapped his arms around me, hiding my face in his chest. That made me break. I muttered an apology into his chest, my shoulders shaking from silent sobs. He was always careful when he touched me not to press against any of my injuries. Even with his arms around my shoulders, he didn't press down hard. His caution almost made me blow up again, but I realized why he was like that and relaxed into his chest. After all, I was injured, whether I wanted people to know or not.

I was able to calm down by the time the others came back from the kitchen, the dishes all washed and put away. I knew they must have heard me yelling, even if they didn't mention it. Instead, Heejae ruffled my hair and looked at me calmly.

“You okay now?” he asked. I nodded and ran a hand over my face.

“Just... built up stress, that's all,” I said softly. I felt bad for yelling at Taeyang now, because they were concerned about me, and because they did care about me, but it wasn't solely because I was injured. They had become my friends in the few weeks since Taeyang found me. I bowed deeply, surprising all of them. “I'm sorry... I know you heard me, and I'm sorry. I appreciate you guys very much, and I'm grateful that you want to help me, even if I don't understand your reasons for why you do.” The door opened and a doctor came in, much to calmly for it to be an emergency in the infirmary.

“Oh good, you guys are still here,” he said. We all kind of looked at him weird. He looked at me. “You're late, Yuri.”

“Oh...OH!” I smacked my forehead with my hand. “Sorry, I forgot.” He rolled his eyes at me. I was supposed to go in after dinner to get my injuries checked. They've had to re-stitch my arm three times now, my leg four times, and my chest once, because I keep moving around and snapping the stitches. The doctors keep getting mad at me. I looked over at the boys. “I gotta go,” I mumbled, shuffling after the doctor. I felt like a scolded puppy, following the doctor with my tail between my legs. Or something like that.

“You're lucky I ran into Hyunsun and didn't have to go searching for you, otherwise I would have been angry with you. As it is, I'm a little annoyed,” he said as we walked. Hyunsun told him where I was? Eh, he probably could tell I was in trouble with this man...WAIT WHAT IF HE WONDERS WHY A-oh wait I'm a healer, it's not strange for a doctor to look for a healer.

“I'm sorry,” I muttered, telling my thoughts to shut up for the time being. We walked in silence until we got to the door to the infirmary.

“Remember, you've used your power a lot today, so restrain yourself once you go in there,” he said, his hand on the doorknob.

“No promises there, doc,” I said. He gave me a glare that made me look away. “Ugh, fine, just stop looking at me like that, geez...” With that, he opened the door. I couldn't help reaching out and touching the knee of a patient as I walked past, healing the deep cut on his hand from a cable snapping in his hand. I bet that hurt like hell.

“I saw that, Yuri. Refrain yourself!” the doctor said without looking back. I made a face at the back of his head, wondering if he had eyes back there. “Stop acting like a child and pulling faces, young lady.” I looked at the patient I had healed and mouthed 'How did he know,' clearly showing my confusion. The patient looked at me like I was insane, so I turned back around to follow the doctor. I tried to be more discrete with the next patient I healed, who had broken his leg falling off a catwalk. I got a little dizzy, but I tried not to let it show. “Yuri, do it again and I'll smack your hands!”

“How the hell do you keep doing that!?” I asked loudly, sincerely curious as to how he knew every single time.

“Hey, a man's got to have some secrets in life!” he responded with a grin, which quickly faded back into his stern mask. “Now behave yourself or I'll get seriously peeved with you.”

“Aish, fine... Doesn't look like there are any more patients anyway...” I muttered, consenting to my defeat. With a shake of his head, he gestured for me to take a seat on one of the 'beds.' The only other two patients in this part of the infirmary left, since they no longer had reason to stay thanks to me, and it was just me and the doctor. I ed the large shirt to reveal a white tank top underneath, shrugging the shirt all the way off so the doctor could inspect my injuries. My left arm was bandaged from wrist to elbow, because the stitches kept popping and the doctor hoped the bandages would help keep them from doing so anymore, while my right hand was bandaged (I hid it with the long sleeves of the shirt, since they go past my fingertips anyway) around the knuckles. I tend to bang my hand against things, which is why the wound on my middle knuckle kept opening back up. I leaned over and carefully rolled my pant legs up, thankful that they were baggy enough to do so comfortably. My right leg was bandaged from knee to halfway down my calf, where the silver haired man had cut into the top of my muscle to keep me from running. My left ankle was also bandaged because the blue haired lady shot at it and the bullet skimmed over it. But since I move around a lot, the stitches tend to snap. I jump off of things while helping out as if I wasn't injured and the doctors get mad at me for it. I was probably a nightmare patient, but I hate being useless, so I help out as much as I can. The doctor started checking the freshly re-done stitches on my chest, which were thankfully still in tact. Stitches are not comfortable, let me tell you. Apparently satisfied, he pulled up the front of my tank top to check the claw and knife holes there. The stitches there held pretty well, as did the ones on the other side, which he checked next. Then, he went about unwrapping the bandages. They needed to be changed anyway, as they were coated in blood on the inside. The stitches on my arm were snapped again and the doctor looked at me like I was a trouble child.

“In my defense, I didn't do anything except catch myself so I didn't fall. I felt them pull, but I didn't think they had snapped again,” I said quickly. He sighed and checked the others. My ankle was fine, but my calf stitches had snapped again as well. “I have no excuse for that one, doc.” He smacked the back of my head at my stupidity. I deserved it, for being their worst patient. He re-wrapped the wounds that didn't need new stitches, then he walked away, coming back with what he needed to re-stitch the two wounds. The rest of the cuts on my arms and legs had been more shallow, and therefore healed faster. They left nasty scars, though. As will the rest of my injuries. I closed my eyes and held my breath as he prepared to re-stitch my wounds. It was not a pleasant experience, especially since we didn't have any numbing agent or anesthesia to put me under during the process. A medical supplies run was being requested, but the scouts have to locate a hospital that hasn't been raided already, and it's taken them a while to do that. When the doctor finished with his task, I had to pry my fingers out of the death grip they had taken on the edge of the bed. Re-wrapped and re-stitched (and re-wrapped again), I was good to go. I threw the long sleeved shirt back on, buttoning it all the way up to hide the wound that extended onto my neck. It was one of the claw marks from my chest, while the other three went across my shoulder. You know, the wound that almost killed me. The doctors had fun with that one, I'm sure.

“Now get out before I loose my hair,” the doctor said. I know the words look mean, but the way he said it and smiled at me let me know he was joking. It was funny because he was younger and not at risk of balding. I smiled and waved at him, hopping off the bed (earning another smack in the head and a scolding to be more careful) and making my escape.

I ran into someone while walking back to my cabin, bowing hastily and muttering an apology. They muttered an 'It's fine' in return and continued on their way. I looked up to see Hyunsun's blonde head as he walked away. I mentally smacked myself. I bet he was  even more mad at me, because I couldn't seem to pay attention to where I was going. With a quiet groan, I made my way back to my cabin. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

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I'm sorry for updating this one more than my other one nowadays, I just have more experience with this kind of story than I do something like Days of Infinite. Besides, Days of Infinite is longer anyway, so it's okay, right? Just like I drew Minnie for Days of Infinite, I'll eventually get around to drawing Yuri (who was originally Min until I decided it was too close to Minyoung and changed it to Yuri).

Erm, I love you guys? 

....Kbai