A.N: I thought this day was a good day for a double update :)


........

SEULGI

She crumpled another ripped page and tossed it on the kitchen table. It rolled and bounced off the many others that had suffered the same fate. The ideas weren’t flowing. She was too self-conscious, too worried about what the actress might think. She needed to let her mind go and not overanalyze every of the pencil.

Keys jingled outside in the hall and a second later, the front door opened. “Hi, honey, I’m home!” Joy called.

“In the kitchen.”

Joy appeared carrying a series of shopping bags. She glanced briefly at the mess of paper balls on the table before smiling brightly in Seulgi’s direction. “I just blew the $300 I made doing that short film, but it was so worth it. I got the hottest pair of jeans ever.”

Joy dug into one of the bags and withdrew a pair of jeans that looked very much like every other pair of jeans Seulgi had ever seen. “Um, hot,” she said, because there was no use in saying anything other than that.

“I also got...” Joy reached into a different bag and withdrew a pink and black striped scarf. “...this. For you. Aaaaand socks to match!”

“Aw, shucks.” Seulgi held up her gifts and shook her head. “Wasn’t Christmas like a month ago?”

Joy shrugged. “Yeah, but we were both broke. Now we’re rich. Well, you’re rich.”

Seulgi hesitated. “I’m not depositing that check from Kim Jisoo until I know I can actually come up with something.” She motioned to the piles of paper. “As you can see, it’s not going well.”

Joy sat down and kicked her shoes into the living room. One hit the back of the couch, and the other missed their lamp by an inch. “Okay. I’ve got something that might help you with that.”

Seulgi slouched down in the chair and stared curiously at her best friend. She crossed her arms. “What could that possibly be?”

Joy reached into another bag and withdrew an item from its depths. “I actually bought it for me, but I can see that you’re in a crisis. So here.” She handed a box to Seulgi.

Seulgi took it and sighed. “A ? How is this going to help me? You want me to paint a giant on the wall of Kim Jisoo’s penthouse?”

Joy grinned. “Hey, she might be into that. And besides, it’s not just any . It’s the Rabbit. See? They angled the bunny part for better contact. And it vibrates. Just don’t get too addicted. You saw what happened to Charlotte in season one of & the City. There’s really such a thing as too much mast—“

“Okay,” Seulgi said, interrupting. She slid the box across the table. “It’s all yours. Really. I’m good.”

“Whatever. Be a prude.” Joy took the box and threw it back into the bag. “Call Kai at least. Go out. Make out. Do something.”

Seulgi shrugged and offered a tentative smile. “He did look kind of cute with his new hair cut.”

“There you go! Excellent. Glad that’s settled.” She stood up, grabbing bags as she went. “I gotta get ready for work. We hired this new guy. His name is Roberto. I get to train him tonight.” She looked pensively into the living room. “I can’t decide if I’m attracted to him or if I find him repulsive. Such a fine line.” She shrugged, and headed to her room.

Seulgi grabbed her sketchpad. The blank page mocked her. She bit her lip thoughtfully and grabbed her cell. She’d taken to text messaging Sooya these days because she found it was the best way to get a speedy answer. It was almost as good as a phone conversation, but not as intrusive. She found Sooya’s name in her list of contacts and typed:

If u had 2 paint a mural on a famous person’s wall, what would u paint?

She sent the message, and waited.

The answer came faster than she’d expected.

A stick figure holding a banana, it said.

Seulgi laughed and typed back, Y a banana?

A moment later, the phone chimed with, Because it’s my 2nd favorite fruit.

Seulgi spent four minutes trying to remember what Sooya’s number one fruit was and was almost about to check her email archives, when she remembered. She typed, Then y not an apple?

And then the answer, Because I would’ve eaten it.

Seulgi was grinning by the time she decided to clear the mess on the table and return to her room. She’d go for a walk, she decided. Maybe the cold would help clear her head. Maybe the city would reveal to her what Kim Jisoo might possibly want painted onto her very expensive wall.

She grabbed her coat, and her new scarf, and made sure her copy of The Color Purple was in her bag before setting out.

***

JISOO

Jisoo was sitting in bed reading Harry Potter when the phone rang. A part of her was hoping that Seulgi would decide to call. She’d almost called her herself after the stream of text messages had ended, but decided against it. Her heart sped up as she reached for the phone, expecting to see the name ‘Seulgi’ on the screen. She was disappointed but also relieved to see the name ‘Jennie Rubyr’ instead. She sat up and removed her glasses, sliding them in between the pages of the book. “How’s my favorite director today?” she asked.

“Excellent, actually,” Jennie said, and Jisoo could tell she was smiling. “I have good news.”

“I’m all for good news.”

“We’ve got all the main parts cast and should be ready to roll at the end of the month.”

“Good to hear,” Jisoo said, and it was, mostly. “Did you find someone to play Lynn?”

“We decided to go with Sophia Carmichael. I had her read for me again last week, and she nailed it. I think she’ll make a great Lynn.”

And it didn’t hurt that her new show was a hit, Jisoo thought, but kept silent. It was for the best that Joy hadn’t been cast. It was for the best, and yet... “What about Park Joy?”

“Who? Oh! I actually heard really good things about her in that short film she did for Sierra’s director friend. But everyone agreed that Sophia was a better fit.”

“What about one of the smaller roles? Have they all been cast?” Jisoo needed to let it go. She knew she did. But a different part of her wanted to do all she could to help Joy out. Chances like this didn’t come often.

The director was silent for a second, and Jisoo could hear the sound of a television in the background and the shuffling of paper nearby. “Sorry, I was just looking at my notes. Um, we have a tentative yes for the role of Shannon, but it’s on shaky ground because the actress has this thing coming up and blah blah blah. Honestly, I’m sick of talking to her, she’s such a pain in the . Joy hadn’t occurred to me for that part but... well, what do you think?”

Jisoo couldn’t even remember who Shannon was in the script. She searched her brain but came up blank. “Sorry, who’s Shannon again?”

“She’s the one Elizabeth seduces at the bar.”

Jisoo felt the blood rush to her face. Oh God. “I thought her name was Jane?”

“Yeah, there were some issues with the name so we had to change it. Remind me to get you the new script. So, Joy, then? I can see that. I’ll see if she’s up for it and have her come in. It’d be a joy to replace that other girl, actually. I hate working with divas. Good call.”

What the hell did I just do? Jisoo thought, suddenly panicked as the scene in question played in her mind.

“So how are you enjoying life in New York?” Jennie continued.

Jisoo looked around her room and stared up at the sunlight streaming from above. She stifled the urge to sigh. “I love it,” she said, pushing thoughts of the movie aside. “How about you?”

“It’s so good to be back. My new place is great. Which reminds me, the main reason I was calling is that I’m throwing a cast and crew party in a couple of weeks. Thought it’d be a nice way to relax and get to know each other before we jump into the fray.”

“Sounds fun,” Jisoo said, and actually meant it despite the fact that she usually hated parties.

“Great. I already cleared the date with Rosé earlier so I’ll send you an Evite with the details.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Jennie echoed. There was a pause, and then, “Is this awkward for you? Talking to me? I mean, after our last conversation in L.A.?”

Jisoo frowned at her comforter. “Ah... no. Why? Is it awkward for you?”

“No, not really. I just thought it might be. I’m glad it’s not.” She paused again. “Maybe now that I brought it up it is a little.” She laughed. “Okay, I’m off then. Talk to you later.”

Jisoo shook her head, amused. “Take care, Jennie.”

She tossed the phone aside and grabbed the script off her nightstand. She flipped the pages until she came to the scene in which her character seduced another. She read it over quickly and closed her eyes. What had she done? There was no way she could do a love scene with Joy.

She opened her eyes and let out a long sigh. Maybe she’d get lucky and Park Joy would refuse to play gay.

***

SEULGI

Seulgi had travelled all the way to the Upper East Side after a craving for frozen hot chocolate gripped her and wouldn’t let go. The thought of calling Kai and inviting him to join her crossed her mind while waiting in line to get seated, but she couldn’t imagine asking him to come all the way uptown just so she wouldn’t have to sit alone. She’d settled instead for Alice Walker’s company and the comforting sound of strangers’ chatter.

After a very healthy dinner of fries and the infamous chocolate drink, she squeezed through the crowds of people still waiting in line and wandered back out into the street. The night was cold and her breath plumed out in front of her like the fading traces of a ghost. She shivered, now thinking that a frozen drink had been a terrible idea in winter. She tightened her scarf around her neck.

Seulgi was aware, as she began to walk, of her proximity to Kim Jisoo’s apartment, and she wondered if that had been the reason she’d decided to head north instead of simply stopping by Joy’s coffee place or sitting at the park. She hadn’t planned on stopping by the actress’ apartment, but her feet led her there of their own accord, and despite the fact that she felt nervous and out of place in Kim Jisoo’s world, she did want to do a good job. She wanted to prove that she could do this.

The building appeared before long and she stared up at it before crossing the street.

This was stupid, Seulgi thought, as she approached the building and the doorman who’d undoubtedly give her a hard time. Kim Jisoo was likely not even home, or perhaps had guests and didn’t wish to be interrupted. It was rude to show up unannounced in the middle of the evening with no good reason for being there except that she was stuck in her inspiration and thought being in the apartment might help.

She hesitated and then a voice she didn’t quite recognize was calling her name. Seulgi turned to find Kim Jisoo’s assistant walking her way.

“Are you here to see Jisoo?” the pretty blonde, whose name she remembered as Rosé, asked, looking both pleased and surprised to find Seulgi standing there.

“I.. uh.” Seulgi wasn’t sure what to say. That she was just passing by would be a lie but the truth made her feel self-conscious. “She’s not expecting me,” was what she went with.

“Oh! Don’t worry, she’ll be happy to see you,” Rosé said, and suddenly began digging into the bag she carried. A second later she withdrew an unmarked envelope and what looked to be a screenplay. “Could you give this to her for me? I’m running really late to meet with my boyfriend and you’d really save me some time.” Seulgi took the items and nodded.

“Great,” said Rosé and then approached the doorman and exchanged a few words with him which Seulgi couldn’t quite hear.

When Seulgi walked over the doorman smiled at her and opened the door.

“Thanks a ton,” said Rosé and then she was off.

Seulgi smiled nervously back at the man and continued onwards through the lobby. The elevator ride was uneventful and with each passing floor she grew progressively more nervous. This had definitely been a stupid idea, and now she was stuck. She couldn’t very well run off with Kim Jisoo’s stuff.

The doors dinged open and Seulgi made her way toward Kim Jisoo’s door. There was little reason to hesitate with a camera pointed down at her, and so she knocked, softly, thinking maybe she’d get lucky and no one would answer. Perhaps she could leave the items with the doorman if the actress wasn’t there. But she heard footsteps and then the sound of the lock and then Kim Jisoo was standing in front of her once again. Seulgi was surprised to see that the actress was wearing glasses. She was dressed in jeans again, though these were perfectly fitted, and the white zip-up hoodie sweatshirt she sported was open just enough to reveal a white tank top beneath. She had a book in her hand, her index finger marking the page, and Seulgi instantly recognized the cover as Harry Potter.

“Seulgi,” Jisoo said, looking somewhat startled.

“I’m sorry to show up like this,” Seulgi said. “If you’re busy, I can come back some other time...”

The actress removed her glasses and shook her head, her silky dark hair falling across her face. “No, I’m not busy at all. I was just cooking dinner and um ...” She seemed to remember the book in her hand and she looked embarrassed. “Please come in?”

Seulgi walked in, amazed by how little things had changed, but impressed by the apartment all over again. She was suddenly aware of a delicious smell coming from somewhere in the vicinity of the kitchen and it occurred to her that maybe fries and frozen hot chocolate hadn’t been much of a meal. Music was playing, too, but she didn’t recognize the song. She turned to the actress. “I ran into your assistant downstairs and she asked me to give you these.”

Jisoo accepted the items, looking somewhat perplexed. “I’m sorry, Rosé gave these to you?”

“Yeah, she said she was running late.”

Jisoo looked confused. “She did, did she?” But then she smiled. “Thanks,” she said. “Please, take your coat off. I know it’s an oven in here. You can leave your stuff on my bed.” The actress headed up the stairs and Seulgi followed, removing her coat as she went.

Seulgi was in love with Kim Jisoo’s bedroom. It was big, but not obnoxiously so. She loved that you could stand to the side and look down at the rest of the apartment. She also loved the flat-screen TV and the ridiculous stereo system, from which another song was playing that Seulgi didn’t know. And then there was the skylight. She glanced up and noticed that it had begun to rain. Seulgi dropped her coat and her messenger bag on the bed.

“Sorry, I just need to check on dinner,” Jisoo said, her tone apologetic. “I’m trying this new recipe,” she continued, as she started down the stairs. “And I have no idea how it’s going to turn out.”

Seulgi couldn’t imagine Kim Jisoo cooking, and she followed the actress back down to the kitchen where an assortment of food items awaited. “What are you making?” Seulgi ventured to ask, because curiosity was a temptress she couldn’t ignore for long. She noticed that there were now white cushioned stools beneath the counter, but she didn’t sit.

Jisoo was looking into the oven, where something was baking, and Seulgi figured that’s where the delicious smell was coming from. “Let’s see,” said the actress. “I was feeling a bit Greek today so I ended up making some hummus. Ooh, want to try? I need a second opinion.”

A plate appeared out of nowhere and suddenly there was a dollop of hummus and triangles of pita bread in front of her. Seulgi arched an eyebrow. “You made your own hummus?”

“Yup. Tell me what you think. You can be brutal. I can take it.”

Seulgi thought perhaps she was having a dream because it didn’t seem real that Kim Jisoo was offering her homemade hummus and hadn’t even bothered to ask what the hell Seulgi was doing in her apartment. Seulgi dropped her gaze and looked at the food. She spread the hummus over the pita bread and took a bite. After a moment, she blinked in surprise. “That’s really good,” she said, somewhat shocked by how true it was. She decided to sit down after all. “You really made this?”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“I usually just buy it at the store, but this is even better.”

Jisoo looked pleased. “Um, and then I made a vegetarian Greek Lasagna, which might turn out to be a disaster because I decided to add feta cheese even though the recipe didn’t call for it. But lasagna without cheese didn’t sit right with me. And then there’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream for dessert, which I didn’t make myself. Such things are better left to the likes of Ben & Jerry. It doesn’t quite go with the whole Greek theme but I think that’s okay. Would you like to join me for dinner?”

Seulgi looked up, startled by the question. “Me? You haven’t even asked why I’m here.” 

“Is it because you haven’t come up with anything to paint and are freaking out?”

Seulgi stared at the actress for a moment. “Yes...”

Jisoo smiled softly. “Then I guess I don’t have to ask.” The oven beeped behind her. “What would you like to drink? I’ve got a 2002 Cabernet Franc to go with this but I’m wondering if it’ll be as good with a vegetarian dish.” Dark eyes looked in her direction. “Want to find out?”

Seulgi had no idea what Kim Jisoo was talking about, but she guessed it had something to do with wine. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had wine with dinner. She also couldn’t remember agreeing to eat with the actress, but she found herself saying, “Sure,” as though she had. After all, this could still prove to be a dream, and any moment now a parade of chickens in pink tutus could march across the living room playing the Star- Spangled Banner. But nothing of the sort happened and Seulgi was forced to consider that this might be for real. “Are you a vegetarian?”

“Not as a rule, no.” Jisoo glanced at her and then looked down as she poured wine into glasses. Her eyes were momentarily hidden beneath incredibly long eyelashes and Seulgi thought of all of the airbrushed magazine covers she’d seen the actress in. She wondered how it was possible for someone to look even more beautiful in person. “I picked up a vegetarian cookbook recently,” the actress continued, looking up again. “I wanted to try a few of the recipes.”

“Oh,” Seulgi said, still thinking it odd that Kim Jisoo cooked. “I think the only dish I’ve ever mastered is eggplant parmesan and even that turned out to be disgusting.” She thought of Sooya and their emails on the subject, then pushed the thought away as she accepted the glass of wine.

“I’m sure it couldn’t have been that bad,” Jisoo said with a slight grin. “You should taste my best friend’s cooking. Trust me, you will never feel bad about anything you make after you’ve sampled one of Jackson’s creations.”

Jackson, Seulgi thought, the name ringing a bell. Jackson Wang? Her ex. How interesting that they’d remained friends after he’d dumped the actress for her assistant. Best friends, at that. She vaguely recalled Joy commenting on the subject but it hadn’t quite hit home until that moment. Seulgi didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. Instead, she watched as the actress served the food in white square plates, complete with a basil garnish. She’d never seen anyone put food on a plate with such care before.

“I feel like I’m watching the Food Network,” she said, smiling shyly.

“Let’s just hope it tastes good,” Jisoo said, and put a plate in front of Seulgi and another next to her. Silverware came next, and before long, the actress had come around to sit beside Seulgi. “If it’s gross we can just order pizza. Or Chinese.” She glanced at Seulgi. “What do you prefer?”

“Um, both, I think,” Seulgi said. “Well, not at the same time.” The food smelled wonderful and she took the actress’ cue and picked up a fork and cut a piece. She was careful to blow on it before sticking it in , remembering the many times she’d accidentally burned her tongue whilst in the company of strangers. She was relieved when the food didn’t prove to be too hot to eat. “Wow,” she said, a moment later. “That tastes even better than it smells.”

Jisoo was looking thoughtful. “Yeah, it’s not as bad as I imagined.” The actress took a sip of wine and regarded Seulgi. “So, what can I do to help you find some artistic inspiration?”

Tell me what to paint, Seulgi thought dryly but didn’t say it. “I have no idea. I just thought maybe being here would give me some ideas.”

“And?”

“It just made me hungry.” Seulgi smiled.

Jisoo laughed at that. She shrugged. “You could always just throw a bucket of paint at the wall and smear it around with your hand. Could look kinda cool.”

“You could do that yourself, why pay me to do it?”

“Because,” Jisoo said, meeting her gaze, “I firmly believe that you’re going to be a famous artist one day, and I would love to have a Kang original on my wall.”

Seulgi shook her head and continued eating, thinking the actress was delusional. “Or I could turn out to be a nobody and die penniless and alone under a bridge somewhere.”

“Why alone?”

Seulgi didn’t know how to answer that because she didn’t know why she’d said it. “Just being melodramatic, I guess.”

Jisoo was silent and for a minute or two the only thing audible was the clinking of silverware and the sound of Garbage’s #1 Crush playing from the speakers. Finally a song Seulgi recognized, if maybe not a version she’d heard. “Maybe it’s my fault,” the actress said suddenly. “Maybe I’m stifling your inspiration by asking for something.”

Seulgi wondered if that was it, but ended up shaking her head. “I think there’s just days or weeks or months when I wake up and the only thing I can do is think about painting or drawing and other times when the thought of it... depresses me. Because I just... I don’t know, I feel... numb.” She looked away, feeling embarrassed.

“Well, would it help if I told you what to paint exactly?” 

“Yes,” Seulgi said, feeling somewhat relieved. “I think it would.”

The actress nodded and wiped with a napkin. “Okay, be right back then.” She slid off the stool and disappeared up the stairs.

Seulgi frowned, wondering what the actress was doing. She took the opportunity to finish her meal, not wishing to appear like a starved pig. Seulgi was on her last bite when Jisoo reappeared. She carried a book, a pen, and a small spiral notebook in her hands, and she pushed her dish to the side to make room.

Jisoo held the book and said, “Okay, pick a number from one to,” and here she flipped to the end before finishing with, “five hundred and two.”

Seulgi felt her eyebrow lift in question. “Um, fifty-eight.”

Jisoo wrote down this number, and then said, “Okay and then pick a number from one to twenty.”

“Seven.”

Jisoo wrote this down too, and then said, “Okay, let’s see.” She flipped to a page in the book and began counting. On the notebook she occasionally wrote something down. After about a minute of this, she looked up and glanced at the notebook. “Okay so we’ve got monkey, nose, river, tower, which I guess means you’ll have to paint a... monkey’s nose on a tower in a river?”

Seulgi bit her lip. “A monkey’s nose on a tower in a river? This is what you want on your wall?”

“Apparently,” Jisoo said. “I figured I’d leave it up to fate. I mean, I suppose it could also be a nose in a river with a monkey in a tower. You can choose.”

Seulgi was unable to keep from smiling. “Okay,” she said, pushing her own dish aside. She slid the notebook closer, and took the pen from Jisoo’s hand. She began to draw. She drew a nose, using the curve of it to also form the tail of the monkey wrapped around the base of the tower. She finished with the river, upon which the tower sat.

“That’s amazing,” Jisoo said, standing to look at the drawing, and Seulgi was suddenly incredibly aware of how close they were standing. Their arms brushed as Jisoo pulled the notebook closer to her, and Seulgi felt her skin tingle with the contact. “It’s kind of surrealist.”

Seulgi sat back down in order to put some space between them. “Hardly,” she said, but blushed anyway, because the drawing had been meant as a joke, and had somehow turned out better than she’d expected. And for some reason her arm was still tingling.

Jisoo glanced at her. “I don’t know, maybe if underneath you write: ‘This is not a tower with a monkey wrapped around it.’” Seulgi smiled.

“Magritte would be so proud,” she said, surprised by the reference. 

“So, you’re familiar with his work?”

“I think The Son of Man is one of my favorite paintings,” Jisoo said. “Maybe because I love apples.” The actress looked momentarily flustered, and then said, “Um, can I interest you in dessert?”

Apples seemed to be a popular fruit, Seulgi thought. Then said, “Thanks, but I should really head home. It’s getting late.”

Jisoo nodded easily. “Okay, I’ll get your things, then.”

“Wait, um, can I help you clean up?” Seulgi felt incredibly rude waltzing in unannounced, eating the actress’ food, and then running out the door.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jisoo said, already on her way up the stairs. “Can I call you a cab?”

“I’ll just take the subway,” Seulgi said, momentarily alarmed by how much a taxi ride might cost. “Are you sure you don’t want help?” she asked, as the actress reappeared, holding her things.

“I’m sure,” Jisoo said, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt. She seemed shy suddenly. “Thanks for trying my experimental food.”

If that was her experimental food, Seulgi wondered what her specialties were. “Thanks for inviting me for dinner. It was nice of you considering how rude of me it was to just show up like this.”

“You’re welcome any time,” Jisoo said, and Seulgi didn’t know why, but it sounded very much like the actress meant it.

Seulgi bit her lip and reached into her messenger bag. A moment later, she took out the check Jisoo had given her. “Please take this back. At least until I feel like I deserve something from you. I’m not going to deposit it anyway, and having it around makes me nervous.”

The actress hesitated but took the check. “Okay,” she said.

Seulgi felt better instantly. She smiled. “Okay. Good.” She reached for the door. “Until later then.”

“Until later,” the actress said.

Seulgi walked out onto the hallway, and as she walked toward the elevator it occurred to her that something had changed. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly. But something had changed between her and Kim Jisoo.

It felt like a good thing.

*****

JISOO

Jisoo closed the door and leaned her forehead against it, her hair tickling her cheeks as it fell forward. She let out a long breath and moved away from the door. On her way to the kitchen, she found that she was smiling. Seulgi had stopped by. Seulgi had stayed for dinner. And through it all Jisoo had managed not to make a complete fool of herself. She took in the state of the kitchen and decided to ignore it for the time being. She sat back down on the stool and looked at the drawing Seulgi had made. Jisoo had loved every second she’d spent in the artist’s company, but her favorite moment had been the one spent watching Seulgi draw.

Her gaze traced over the picture on the notebook and she smiled sadly. From the pocket of her sweatshirt she withdrew her cell phone and dialed. Her assistant answered on the first ring. “Please don’t kill me.”

Jisoo reached for the bottle of wine and refilled her glass. “Start talking.”

“Well,” began Rosé, in a tone that begged to be found innocent of any and all charges, “I got to your building and I saw Seulgi standing there looking like she was about to change her mind about coming to see you. So, I uh... improvised. I figured you’d rather see her than Jackson and I, anyway.”

Jisoo sighed. “So you trapped her into coming up?” 

“I wouldn’t say ‘trapped’... that sounds so... so...” 

“So very much like what you did?”

“Oh, come on. Like if I’d shown up and said, ‘hey I saw Seulgi downstairs, and she looked like she wanted to come see you but then she changed her mind and I did nothing to stop her’ you wouldn’t have killed me on the spot?”

“I guess.”

“So, how’d it go?”

Jisoo let herself smile, because she couldn’t help it. “She stayed for dinner. Speaking of which, what did you and Jackson end up doing for food?”

“Um, this is New York, Jisoo. There’s a restaurant every half a step. We managed just fine without your weird veggie food. Anyway, back to you and Seulgi.”

“There is no ‘me and Seulgi’.”

Rosé sighed audibly. “I really wish I could save you from heartbreak, but I guess falling for a straight girl is a lesbian rite of passage or something.”

Jisoo felt depressed suddenly. She pushed the notebook with Seulgi’s drawing away and stood up. “I gotta go. My kitchen’s a mess. Talk to you tomorrow.” She ended the call before Rosé could protest, and dropped it on the counter. Her good mood had vanished, replaced instead by a feeling akin to panic. What was she doing? Seulgi was straight. She was straight and that wasn’t going to change just because she happened to like Jisoo’s cooking. She was straight and Jisoo was lying to her and once she knew the truth none of this would matter anymore.

An upbeat song began to play from her very randomized selection of music and Jisoo decided to pull herself together. She’d focus on cleaning the mess in the kitchen because she had no idea what to do about the mess in her life.

***

SEULGI

Seulgi blinked. The shapes in her room were blurry and undecipherable as she attempted to make sense of her surroundings. The sound of the phone echoed through the apartment, and she pulled the covers over her head. She refused to get up this time. She’d stayed up entirely too late finishing The Color Purple, and then later still to write an email to Sooya detailing just how much she’d loved it. The phone rang again, a half-ring, interrupted by the merciful voice of Joy saying, “Seul and Joy’s house of kinkiness. How may I spank you?”

Seulgi relaxed when the call turned out to be for Joy. She must have drifted back to sleep again because the next thing she knew, Joy was on top of her, bouncing on her bed.

“Wake up, oh my God,” Joy was saying, her voice an octave higher than usual. “Guess who just called me.”

Seulgi opened one eye, shut it, and opened the other. Joy was on top of her, gazing down at her excitedly, and Seulgi had never wanted to hurt someone so badly in her life. She closed her eyes again only to be shaken. She groaned. “Ihateyouleavemealone,” she mumbled.

“Seul! That was the casting director for that film I auditioned for. They want me to come back in and read for some other part!”

The news filtered through Seulgi’s foggy conscience. “Wow,” she managed, her voice hoarse and full of sleep. “I promise to be really excited for you in like six hours.”

The bouncing resumed and Seulgi tried to recall if she’d left anything nearby that might be used as weapon. The bouncing stopped. “Jesus, this room is colder than mine,” Joy said, and a moment later she’d lifted the covers and slipped in, shuddering. “Hang on, I want to be spooning you when I tell you the rest of the phone conversation.” Joy felt like an icicle and it was all Seulgi to do not to punch her. “Ooh, you’re warm.”

“I hate you so much right now,” Seulgi whined, as Joy wrapped herself around her. She winced as cold feet brushed against her leg.

“Okay,” Joy said, once she was settled. “So the woman, Sierra Murphy or something like that, was like, ‘Would you be opposed to doing scenes?’ And I was like, “Uh, depends on what kind,” and she was like, ‘Well would you have a problem shooting a scene?’ And I said, ‘Like... ?’ and she laughed and was like, ‘No no. Tastefully done, of course. But you might have to strip down a little.’ And I was like, ‘Well, sure, that’s fine.’” She paused. “Are you listening to me?”

“Your mouth is next to my ear, how could I possibly not be?”

“Okay. So, then she was like, ‘Oh good, good. We’d like you to come in and read for a different part.’ And I was like, ‘Great!’ And then... are you ready?”

Seulgi sighed into her pillow. “Yes...”

“Then she was like, ‘Would you be opposed to doing a scene with a woman?’”

Seulgi’s eyes flew open. “Really?”

Joy giggled. “Am I freaking you out being all over you like this?”

“No, it’s , actually,” Seulgi said and grinned.

“Ooh, baby.” Joy laughed and disentangled herself from Seulgi. “Actually, I’m freaking myself out. You feel kinda good.” She paused to straighten out the other pillow. “So what do you think? I might get to have with a chick on camera.”

Seulgi turned to look at her friend. “So you said you were okay with it?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? I played a kick- lesbian in that play a few years ago.” She sat up so her back was against the wall. “I hope it’s someone hot.”

Seulgi rubbed her eyes and sat up too. There was no use in pretending she might actually get some sleep. She yawned. “So, when’s the big audition?”

“Tonight actually,” Joy said, frowning. “I hope I can find someone to cover for me at work. I’m gonna get fired one of these days.” She shrugged. “Hey, do you think Kim Jisoo had anything to do with them calling me back? You know, since she knows we’re friends.”

“I don’t know,” Seulgi said, but suddenly wondered if the actress had said anything. Why would she? Kim Jisoo didn’t owe her any favors. “Maybe you were just really good.”

Joy nodded thoughtfully. “So, will you make out with me later?” Seulgi stared at Joy as though her head had suddenly multiplied. “Well they’re bound to make me kiss some random woman and I need it to be natural. The last time I kissed a girl was back in high school and there was a beer bottle spinning around on the floor. I figure a little refresher wouldn’t hurt. You game?”

The thought of kissing Joy was utterly disturbing to Seulgi. “I don’t think so. Seems a tad bit uous.”

Joy considered this and nodded. “Yeah, I guess it should be someone I don’t really know, anyway. Who can I get to make out with me? I need some lesbian friends.” She snapped her fingers. “Oh! One of the girls in that short I did I think was bi. I’ll give her a call.”

“You’re just going to call her and say, ‘Hey, will you make out with me?’”

Joy rolled out of bed. “Yeah. Why?”

“And she’s going to be like, ‘Yeah sure!’”

Joy snorted. “She better be. ing best day of her life.” She winked at Seulgi and headed out the door. “Wish me luck!”

“Good luck,” Seulgi called after her, and laughed. She slid back under the covers and settled into the warmth. If she was lucky, she’d manage a few more hours of sleep.

******

JISOO

The phone rang while Jisoo was still trying to figure out what to reply to Seulgi’s last email. There were a lot of things she wanted to say; a lot of things she would have said had she not felt so guilty each time she started to type something. Seulgi’s visit was still fresh in her mind, and it was all she could think about as she stared at the words on her screen. She couldn’t go on pretending to be Sooya. Not anymore. Jisoo had spent part of the night imagining scenarios in which she would come to tell Seulgi the truth. Each one seemed lamer than the last and each ended with Seulgi walking angrily away. Would Seulgi be angry? Jisoo didn’t know. Jisoo didn’t know at all how the artist might react and it was this that kept her from picking up the phone and saying, “Seulgi, I need to tell you something.”

But she was saved from these thoughts the moment the phone rang, and a different sort of worry wrapped itself around her as she answered. “Hi, Jennie.”

“I am running super late to a meeting so this is a mega quickie. Hi, Jisoo. How are you? Good? Good. Are you busy tonight?”

She wasn’t, but she almost didn’t want to answer truthfully until she knew what the director needed her for. “Why?”

“We’re having Park Joy come in for an audition. I managed to convince Sierra to get me some rough footage of that short film she did recently. She looks great in front of a camera. I just need to see the two of you together. Please say you’re free.”

Jisoo had been dreading this call since the moment she’d opened and suggested Joy for a different role. She ran a list of excuses through her mind but it seemed inevitable that she’d be force to audition with Joy at some point or another. “I’m free,” she said, trying not to sigh.

Her only hope now was that Jennie would hate them together.

***

“You should’ve just kissed Jennie,” Rosé said distractedly, while typing something on her phone. She’d insisted on coming along and Jisoo had been too preoccupied with the business of panicking to put up much of an argument. “At least your first girl kiss would’ve been for real. And I still don’t get what the big deal was with that. A kiss wouldn’t have killed the movie. Unless it led to .” She frowned thoughtfully, her thumbs pausing in their movement. “Wait, would you have slept with her in the back of the limo?”

Jisoo focused on the changing numbers above the elevator doors and let out a long breath. Only four more floors to go and she’d be back in the audition room. Maybe Joy wouldn’t show up. She turned her head to find Rosé looking at her. 

“What?”

“Nothing. You look really good today, if that makes you feel any better.” 

“Great,” she said dryly.

“Look, it’s just a kiss, you’ve done a million of those before. Lips are lips. Who cares who they belong to? And who knows, maybe it won’t even come to that.”

“I guess,” Jisoo said, letting the possibility of that soothe her somewhat. “But what if she gets the part?”

Rosé shrugged. “Then it will just be a few more kisses.” She considered. “And the tearing off her clothes, and the going down on her... but other than that...”

Jisoo covered her face with one hand.

The elevator doors dinged open.

“We’re here,” Rosé said cheerfully and practically skipped out of the elevator.

Jisoo followed, far less enthusiastically. The waiting room was empty, but the sound of voices spilled out from the open door. Jisoo took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She would do this. She would get through this and then deal with whatever came next. Jennie was in the middle of a sentence when Jisoo walked in, but she paused mid-word the moment she spotted the actress. Whatever she’d been in the process of saying seemed forgotten. “Jisoo,” she said, brightening suddenly. “Good to see you again.”

Jisoo smiled at her, her gaze lingering only long enough to be considered polite, then moving on to greet the others in the room. Ella Peters was there, along with Sierra Murphy. But that was all. She’d expected more people.

“Jisoo,” said Ella, without warning or preamble, “have you ever kissed a woman before?”

Jisoo froze only briefly in the process of removing her leather coat. “I haven’t,” she said smoothly. “Are you offering to be my first?”

They all laughed, and Ella picked up the conversation once the laughter subsided, “Well, at least Jennie’s been around that block a few times.”

Jisoo lifted an eyebrow at the director who seemed to blush considerably all of a sudden.

Jennie cleared . “Let’s save the embarrassing stuff for the party. At least we’ll all be too drunk to remember anything the next day.”

There was a round of good-natured laughter which died down at the sound of a soft knock.

Jisoo turned to see Joy standing uncertainly in the doorway. “Sorry, there was no one out there so...”

Jennie jumped instantly into director mode. “Please come in. Thanks for coming on such short notice... again.”

“Thanks for having me back.” Joy’s gaze fell on Jisoo. She looked somewhat startled to see the actress there.

Jennie took a moment to introduce everyone, and there was a round of polite but distanced nods. “So,” she said, handing Joy part of the script, “we’re having you read for a different type of role than last time. I’m not sure how much Sierra told you on the phone but essentially your character has one long scene with Jisoo’s. If you have reservations about that, if you think you’d be uncomfortable in that type of scenario, speak now. I promise there’s no hard feelings.”

Joy smiled, her teeth white and perfectly even. “If there’s one thing I’m not uncomfortable with, it’s .”

Jennie chuckled. “Okay! Well, take a few minutes to look over the script. And we’ll see what you’ve got.”

Jisoo watched Joy on the monitor by the camera, thinking that she looked beautiful and at ease, even while just standing there reading quietly to herself. Jisoo suddenly felt an unsettling mixture of pride and nausea.

Jennie walked over, eclipsing her view of the screen. She handed over the script. “You ready?”

No, she wanted to say, but only offered a brief smile. She accepted the pages. “Don’t worry,” Jennie said softly. “I’ll be gentle.” She winked, and walked away.

Rosé slid over a couple of chairs to land next to Jisoo. “She’s prettier than I remember from the gallery,” she whispered. “I wonder where she got that jacket. I think I’ll ask her after you’re done making out with her.”

Jisoo sighed. “I’ve officially muted you.”

“Want a mint?” Rosé smirked when Jisoo took one. “The key is to forget that you’re you and that she’s her and that you’re secretly in love with her best friend.”

Jisoo was about to protest the term ‘in love’ or at the very least kick her assistant in the shins, when Jennie intervened.

“Everyone ready?”

Jisoo stood up and joined Joy in front of the camera. They were practically the same height, though Joy was perhaps half an inch taller. It worked well, Jisoo thought. “Nice to see you again,” she said, thinking it would be rude not to say anything at all.

Joy seemed surprised that Jisoo had spoken but she covered it up quickly. “You, too. Wish it were under less awkward circumstances.”

Jisoo smiled at that, and then they waited. “Action.”

Jisoo slipped into character, letting Elizabeth take over. She pushed all thoughts of Seulgi and Joy from her mind, and when she looked up from the pages in her hand, she saw only a stranger at a bar. “So, what would you say is your favorite line?”

Joy looked up and then around as if uncertain she’d been addressed. “I’m sorry?”

“If someone were trying to hit on you, what line would work, usually? Something about your eyes, maybe?”

Her eyes reflected both confusion and amusement. “Are you trying to hit on me?”

“Well, not yet. I have to settle on a good way to do it first. I mean, if that’s okay with you, of course.”

A smile and then, “Take your time.” Pause. “Can I buy you a drink while we’re both waiting?”

“I wasn’t planning on drinking tonight.” 

“Which is why you came to a bar?”

Jisoo offered a hint of a smile. “Well, if I drink it will lower my inhibitions and then getting up the nerve to ask you to come back to my place would be monumentally easier. I like a challenge.”

“I see. I guess that means I should stop drinking, then. I might say yes too easily.” Jisoo grinned. “And I would certainly hate that.”

“Have you decided on how to hit on me yet?”

“I was thinking I’d say something about fate and how it brought us here tonight.” 

“Wouldn’t that be a bit presumptuous?”

“Well, I think fate is allowed to be arrogant.”

Joy smiled softly. “I meant of the idea that fate would go through all that trouble for a one night stand.”

Jisoo stopped to consider. “Maybe. But I think fate is on my side for once.” 

“Why’s that?”

“Anyone else would’ve slapped me by now.”

There was a laugh. “That’s possible.” Joy stepped closer and Jisoo knew that she should be panicking, but Elizabeth wasn’t the type to panic and so, at that moment, neither was she. “Anyone else probably wouldn’t do this.”

Joy pressed her body against Jisoo’s, and the lines between fiction and reality blurred for Jisoo as soft lips touched hers.