I am sleeping.

  I am drifting somewhere in the ocean, gently, gently, together with the waves.

  I am sleeping.

  Until someone rudely yanked me by my back and tugged at my body. Go away, I wanted to say but no words came out. Leave me alone. I want to sleep.

  I felt myself leave the water as my lungs picked up  the painfully unfamiliar air. Am I dead already? That's fast. Am I in heaven or some sort of place now? So there's really a place called heaven. How stupid was I to scoff at it before.

  But it was not. It could not be. It was too chaotic to be heaven. My eyelids rose by a milimeter and I saw the world through those slits. My ears were a fuzz, buzzing, but I picked up yelling. Screaming. Sobbing. Crying. Is this a funeral? My funeral? Where's dad? I hope he's not crying too much. I should've told him goodbye when he left the house.

  But it wasn't that either. My eyes focused a little and a man loomed into view, his hair plastered to his face. Brown. He's yelling. He seems to be yelling his throat out.He's yelling at me. But I can't hear it. I'm watching, but my body system no  longer had the strength to breathe. I'm not breathing. I'm dying. My ears picked something up, slowly. Maybe people do know their surroundings when they die.

  The chocolate colored hair boy yelled at me, pumping at my chest. This time, I heard it.

  "DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME, CHOI KYUNGMI. DON'T YOU DARE."

  It's Daesung. My mind faintly remember but it doesn't feel. The oxygen supply was off. I can't feel. Why is Daesung here? I tried to remember how it feels like to be curious as I lay almost lifeless on the wet ground, watching how this boy is trying he's hardest to save me. having to watch someone he knows die, I felt bad for him. It's no wonder why I'm not in heaven. there's too much people I have hurt.

  "Don't die on me. Don't go." Daesung cried, bowing down his face at my chest, sobbing, as his hands continued to pump at my sleepy heart stubbornly. "Please, what do you want from me? What else do you want from me? I have already given you up... Please."

  And then another voice, this time painfully familiar. My eyes are so tired already but I struggled to keep it open by that bit. Please, just give me one last minute. I want to see the owner of that voice. But how does he know I'm about to die here?

  True enough, Jiyong slid down beside me,his eyes crazed, confused, horrified as he grabbed Daesung by the collar.

  "WHAT THE FUC- WHY IS SHE- TELL ME WHAT THE HAPPENED TO HER!" He roared, his eyes insane, shaking the younger one, who just went limp and sobbed.

  A jab of pain in my heart. I don't want to see the tears in his eyes, nor in Daesung's. The pain flashed across as quickly as it had came. It felt like I have been underwater for a century. The ability to feel is a blessing.

  Jiyong turned to me, his eyes broken and his face streaked with disbelief as his hands brushed the stray strands of hair off my cold face urgently, before cupping my cheeks firmly, raising me so I am resting in his arms.

  A good place to die.

  "You can't.. Baby, baby can you hear me?" Jiyong cried, his face filled with a kind of fear I have never seen before. "Kyungmi, stay with me, do you hear me?" He yelled hoarsely, pressing his forehead on mine, crying badly. "Please, what am I going to do without you?"

  I hear you. I hear you I hear you I hear you. I can hear you Jiyong, but not for long. The heartbeat inside me is so slow, Jiyong. I can't feel it anymore. I have never realised how much you loved me. I guess they're right. One only know how much another loves them until the last moment. This is the last moment, Jiyong, darlng, don't cry. Thank you for loving me. I love you, Jiyong. I should've said this everyday in your life. I love you. 

  Another pair of hands, this time smaller, grabbed me and shifted me on the floor again. Taehee's tear stained face came into view. Her hateful eyes and cold expression gone, filled now by panic and fear as she stared at me with something I used to take for granted. Concern.

  Her hands pressed at my chest this time, more steady and rhythmic than Daesung's as she blew into my mouth, sending a little oxygen into my system that was snatched up quickly by my dying cells. The one whom I had hurt so deeply. The one whom I deceived. The friend who cared and loved me so much that it turned into hatred.

  "I don't want your life do you hear me?" She whispered through her gritted teeth, tears streaming down her face, blowing me a lungful of hair. "You said I'm your bestfriend right? Kyungmi? Wake up, wake up then! You gonna let your bestfriend watch you die like this infront of her own eyes? You wake up Kyungmi. Please, I forgive you. I forgive you!"

  Another lungful of air and I spluttered, the water in my lungs gushing out as I choked and gasped for air once my brain regained control over my body. Jiyong, who bowed his head and bit at his nail, as well as Daesung, who's sobbing silently with the guilt that he hadn't been here in time looked up instantly, shock on their faces. Jiyong scrambled to crawl over to me instantly, his hands wiping my face maniacally as my eyes rolled around blindly to find a focus.

  "Baby? Can you see me? Can you hear me? Talk, baby! Thank god, thank god.." He muttered, kissing my forehead repeatedly, hugging me tight in his warm chest, swaying a little.

  "Call the ambulance. She was having a high fever." Daesung said urgently, his voice looming in and out of focus, "Is she can't get to the hospital fast enough we'll lose her again."

  With that Taehee sprang to her feet, sprinting to grab her handphone as that warm fuzzy feeling overcame me again.

  "Thank you." Jiyong whispered, his tear landing on my face, feeling strangly warmer than the water droplet that was from the pool. "I love you so much."

  And I out again.

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