It had been a good day. In all fairness, even with the madness of the morning, Hongbin couldn’t say that it hadn’t been a good day for him. Objectively speaking. What had been one simple enough job had become a steady stream of this’s or that’s to do around the theatre. Hakyeon, once he had seen the rooftop and club photos, had been overflowing with praise and excitement. And though Hongbin had a feeling that the manager had mostly been speaking to himself, he couldn’t help but feel a small amount of pride as the man congratulated himself on discovering and unearthing such talent. It was everything he ever wanted to hear about his art.

But something had been off, just at the back of his mind. A niggling feeling that everything was skewed a centimetre to the right. If you didn’t look too hard everything was fine, but the longer you stared the more glaring the issue became. He tried not to look at it. Work, he’d told himself, he had work to do, and lots of it. It was the same excuse he’d given Ravi when they split up to scout the theatre for potential inspiration. Better to go on their own, cover more ground, it was a big building after all.

The same excuse he used for crawling the access steps back up to the roof. It would look different in the bright daylight, he told himself. “You’re not fooling anyone, Hongbin,” he mumbled when the door swung open and the winter air caught him in the face. Smarter this time, he’d brought a jacket and huddled inside it as he stepped out into a view that was framed by sky scrapers of steel and glass. Daylight made everything sparkle in a sort of false sense of pristine cleanliness, as long as you didn’t look too closely.

If he tried, and he did, he could pull back the feeling of raw excitement he’d had when the famous Jung Leo had decided to take a chance on some stupid boy’s vision and inspiration. Of course, he was sure that Taekwoon didn’t see it that way, but it had been the biggest thrill of his life. A dream come true in a sense. And he’d taken an embarrassing amount of photos, much more than were necessary, but he couldn’t help it. He was a fan, after all.

Staring at the same spot he’d photographed the singer, he knew that something was still wrong though. Even if he hadn’t felt it then, because he didn’t know. It had just been a thrill a minute because he hadn’t known. Jung Leo, Taekwoon, was Tall Double Shot Latte with Cat Eyes. Was it strange to feel simultaneously envious, possessive and regretful? It probably was. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Ravi was already half in love with his coffee stranger, or at least it was the biggest crush he’d seen in his friend outside of high school.

A very small and petty piece of his mind had curled up into a jealous green ball when his roommate would wax on about the mysterious Cat Eyes that came to his cafe. Couldn’t Ravi see that Hongbin needed him? Had always needed him in a way, ever since childhood. Maybe it had taken the better part of their life to realize that, but it still made him ache to realize he’d fallen in love with his best friend. The slow kind of love that just crept up on a person and then pulled them down under the waves to drown in it.

At the same time though, he wanted Ravi to be happy. Even while he wanted himself to be happy. There were too many wants for people to be happy and not a solution in sight. If he’d known though, maybe he wouldn’t have kissed Taekwoon. Or, well probably not since he hadn’t been expecting it, but he would have felt more guilty about it a lot sooner. “Like that makes anything better at all, Hongbin. You still liked it, you dirty hypocrite. You still wanted to kiss him back. You’re just lucky he passed out before you both did something really stupid.” He was glad no one was on the roof to hear him.

But the rest of the day was back in the good graces of company and therefore out of his own head. It was a surprise that Ravi had invited Taekwoon to lunch with them, more of a surprise that Taekwoon had agreed to the idea. After waking up to what was probably not their best sides, it amazed Hongbin that he’d stand anywhere near them, near him. His only blessing was that Taekwoon really didn’t seem to remember what had happened.

Still, there was a natural sort of rhythm they all fit into, perhaps that was the biggest surprise of them all. When he put his unease under lock and key in his mind, it was easy to enjoy the lunch just for what it was, spending time with his best friend and an interesting person. Taekwoon liked being asked things even if he didn’t answer verbally, Ravi liked pretending he knew what the non verbal cues he used meant and Hongbin couldn’t help but giggle at the nonplussed stare Taekwoon would give and the little shake of his head or the considering looks and small nods. At one point Hongbin had caught both Ravi and Taekwoon tapping out the same beat to a song that played in the background of the store. Music lovers, he was envious.

It had felt almost strange to part at the end of the day. Like everything in the last 24 hours had been a page out of a book. Taekwoon wasn’t his friend, no matter how much Hongbin had wished it. That point had been driven home though when he’d scheduled photoshoots with some of the other cast. Lee Ken had been nothing but grins and smiles and babblings about promising to make him look better than Leo in his shots. He wanted to do more, bigger, better. Hongbin hadn’t the heart to tell him that the venue he was picturing for the man’s role was a little less glamorous. (An alley behind the theatre with a refuse dumpster large enough to hide a body. A key point for his character.) But then he’d gone on about how strange it was for Leo to go out, how he usually stayed in his condo or the theatre. Yes, very unusual behavior. Leo didn’t do social, as he was told.

A fluke.

Well, neither could he, or it felt like it. Instead of a cab, he and Ravi opted for the much cheaper subway to go home. They sat together as they had a million times, knees bumping into each other as the car jostled and careened through the tunnels. But that feeling like something was off came back in full force. It felt like he’d done something wrong. There wasn’t the same kind of playful banter that they normally shared.

A black cloud hanging overhead followed them home, up the steps to their tiny spit of an apartment. Hongbin could feel the storm brewing the moment door shut behind them with a soft hiss.

“Hongbin-ah.” Ravi paused just inside. “Are you okay?”

He could feel his mouth automatically pull back into what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Had he been worrying him? “Of course, I’m fine,” Hongbin shot the grin over his shoulder while storing his camera bag on a nail he’d pounded into the wall. “I took your advice, Wonsikie, I found a job that pays well.” The grin he wore wouldn’t stop, he didn’t want him to worry.

“Do you think you can fool me?” Ravi took the space of their apartment in long strides and nestled his chin against Hongbin’s shoulder, arms twining around his waist. “Bin-ah, why are you upset? Is it about this morning? Listen, I don’t care that you brought him here, it’s pretty obvious he wasn’t in a fit state to get home on his own. You did a good thing Bin-ah.”

“I didn’t know,” Hongbin’s voice was quiet, his breath still as his shoulders sagged. “That he was your Double Latte,” there was a slight tremor that ran through him, “I didn’t know when I brought him here, and I’m sorry about--”

“Stop, Hongbinnie, don’t apologize. Don’t feel guilty, please don’t. Do you think I’m jealous?” Ravi tightened his grip around his friend’s middle so that he couldn’t turn around lest his face betray him. “I know you, I know how much you admire him. He’s Leo right? That one you’ve got the albums of? The ones you play loud when you think I’ve got my headphones in. I noticed at the theatre when I heard him sing. Don’t act like you betrayed me or something.” He sighed and buried his face against Hongbin’s neck. “It’s okay, you know? He kissed you, it’s okay. You’re a handsome guy, I keep telling you, the most handsome. If I were drunk I’d kiss you too.”

Hongbin’s shoulders slumped even more. That’s what it would take? But he forced out a weak laugh. “Maybe you should drink more.” It was supposed to be a joke but it rang a little hollow. The heel of his hand pushed at his eyes, banishing tears that may or may not have been gathering there. “It wasn’t even a real kiss,” and why did a part of him regret that? “It was right before he passed out, so he probably doesn’t remember, so don’t worry.”

“Why would I worry?” Ravi kept his face nuzzled into the warmth of Hongbin’s neck, breathing deep.

“I don’t know.” Hongbin worked up a smile, a real one, and pulled away before he tried to kiss Ravi instead. How dare his heart rate increase when his friend was so close, what if he’d heard? “I’m beat though. I think I’ll shower and then do some photo editing in bed. Just tired, honestly,” he held up hands to try and show he wasn’t trying to escape. “What will you do?”

Ravi checked the clock on his phone, 8 pm. “There’s a couple of errands I need to do. And a ddokboki street vendor that I haven’t been to in a while.” He gave a cheeky grin and it seemed like everything finally settled back into place. Ravi couldn’t be too upset when he was thinking about food he wanted to devour.

“I’ll see you later then, don’t stay out too late, you’ve got to work in the morning.” Hongbin grinned again, dimples slightly teased out. “And Wonsikie? Thanks.”

Eight o’clock and all was not well. Taekwoon gazed out of his living room windows toward the city below and around him. Finally out of his stage clothes and into his own lazy pants and shirt, he should have felt like everything was finally becoming right again, but he didn’t. Jaehwan had dropped him off with a teasing barb of, ‘next time you go out partying with fans, let me know.’ And then that ridiculous wink, the one he used to charm interviewers into asking him all the questions. (Not that Taekwoon exactly minded that part.)

It hadn’t been partying with a fan so much as it was falling into a very craftily made trap. That’s what it must have been. Sometime between lunch and leaving for the day Taekwoon’s memory had finally caught up with him. The reason why his mouth seemed to tingle slightly when Hongbin was looking at him a little too hard. How had he let himself drink so much to do something so… personal. He’d only just met him and he kissed him? Had actively wanted to kiss him for the best part of the night. Still wanted to, he thought with a frown and that was the dangerous part. Instant attraction made people stupid. No, he corrected himself, thinking of Ravi with his soft blue hair that Taekwoon hadn’t been able to resist running his hand through just to see how it felt. Attraction in general made people stupid.

So why was it that when he was settled in his own, quiet, space, his own sanctuary, it suddenly felt empty? Why did he look into the city and instead of just seeing a hive separate from his own life, he saw the patch of town where their apartment was? Why was the dinner he made and ate almost too quiet even for him? It was a trap. He’d just missed the point where it’d already sprung shut.

Ravi stumbled into the apartment, giggled to himself and told the wall to be quiet or else it was going to wake Hongbin. Just enough, he’d thought, just enough to be brave. But ‘just enough’ had been maybe 5 shots before where he was when he left the bar. As a rule Ravi didn’t like drinking much, especially with Hongbin because that was just a one way trip to a hangover. But, his Hongbin had told him he should drink more.

He shucked clothes on the short trip to their bedroom, nearly falling flat on his face when a nefarious pant leg thought to trip him up. He’d deal with it tomorrow. The trail of discarded items ran from door to door. But he knew, just knew, that Hongbin would have set his pajamas on the end of the bed, like always.

The door to the bedroom slid open and Ravi snuck inside as quietly as he was able, which wasn’t very quietly it seemed. His shin connected with the corner of the bed frame and he hissed out a growl and laugh rolled into one.

“Ravi-yah?” Hongbin’s sleepy voice carried through the air and he could see the shape of his friend stir just slightly, sitting up a little. “Oh god, please tell me you had clothes on when you walked into the apartment.”

“Don’t worry, Bin-ah,” his words slurred slightly as he wrestled the tank top on and was almost 100% sure he’d managed to put his pants on backward but it was too much effort to try and fix them.

“A-are you drunk, Ravi-yah?” Disbelief covered Hongbin’s face as he followed Ravi’s movements to ‘his side’ of the bed. Just that look, with Hongbin’s stupid handsome face turned over his shoulder.

“Yup,” Ravi grinned and crawled into bed and scooted his way across the mattress to snuggle against his friend. “So you have to kiss me now, that’s the rule right?” And with that he crashed their lips together, hand diving in to tangle in Hongbin’s hair, pulling back just enough that he could gently on the other boy’s lower lip. So caught up in the thrill of kissing his perfect mouth that he didn’t notice the way Hongbin shuddered or ran his tongue over the curve of his own lips. Or the way he leaned his head into Ravi’s hand.

Drunk enough. Drunk enough to be stupid, but not stupid enough to be cruel. With one last satisfied tug of Hongbin’s lip he pulled back and grinned blearily. “Mmmm, handsome kisser too.” Ravi muttered before letting himself wrap his arm around his friends waist and drop off into dreams. He didn’t see the way Hongbin’s cheeks lit up or the stunned look on his face, didn’t want to. Just drunk enough.