i took a shower and changed up.a few more minutes before soccer practice.i was locking the door when suddenly a random girl waved and ran towards the gate.at first i was shocked and figured out “oh here we go”.i waved back and smiled she came towards me,stopped in front of me,catching her breath and said “so it is true! Harry Styles’ Girlfriend IS living here!” she held a bright smile “well yeah” i gave a uncomfortable smile “i know you get this a lot but where are they? when will they go back?” she asked “well apparently the have tours in Europe right now so i dont really know” i answered back i started walking when she pulled my hand “can you give updates as soon as you get there, im thalia” she smiled “sure thalia.i really need to go now soccer practice” she let go of my hand and said “oops sorry have a nice day!” she smiled.i simply turned around and walked, i heard her call her friend while walking back.i did.i did get that a lot.going to public places,having girls go and ask stuff about the boys,at first it wasn’t annoying until the fans started to ask personal questions about them,about us,me and harry.sometimes im like a bridge to other fans but thats not a problem cause i love 1D fandom but the thing is some fans keeps on asking personal questions even though they have been told that i dont answer personal questions about the boys.i shook my head.what am i thinking?! i wanted this.ugh.bipolar mode.i walked pass the community park.stopped for a while.flipped my phone and saw my wallpaper which was taken there.me and harry.sitting on the yellow bench.i do miss him.i really do.i suddenly saw the time.crap.im late.i ran as fast as i can and saw the field.coach wasnt there i dropped my bag on the bleachers and had some reruns.after a few minutes i felt exhausted, i lied on the ground and stared at the skies.the skies where blue.perfect light blue.it seemed calm and peaceful,it makes you forget of everything,then a breeze came in.the breeze smelled like roses,fresh ones,i took a deep breath and muttered “i wish you were here” a tear dropped from my eyes i wiped it out and remembered those moments when we took random trips here,where we just stared at the perfect blue sky,smelled the same fresh rose breeze,talking about random stuff,took random pictures,listened to songs,serenaded each other,random picnics.it made me smile, i want those times back when he’ll burst into my room grab my hand and go here and after a run he’ll pin me down kiss me on the forehead and lay next to me,he’ll hold my hand and whisper “i want to stay like this forever”.my heart stopped tears started to run down my face, i cuddled my knees and cried.i remembered the last time we were here,tears bursted in our eyes,i was about to walk off that time then he grabbed my hands and hugged me he whispered “please don’t.don’t walk away. i cant stand being away from you.i just cant” he let go of me and held my face,his lips crushed mine then he pulled away “you! are you planning of killing me? it hurts being away from you and it will hurt more if i were away from you permanently! i cant stand it! i cant..i cant stop thinking of you, of your perfect face,your hair! and the feelings! the feelings i feel when you’re her! next to me! the feeling your presence give me! the feelings your breath gives me! this! you know i cant live without you!” he knelt on the ground placed his palms of his face and said “i have never cried before like this, i never felt like dying if i cant hear a girls breath, your my everything, your the reason i smile,the reason i bear the fact that im going on tour” i knelt and pulled his hands,tears were flowing over his face i  wiped those tears and kissed him.i pulled away and said “you are my everything,i dont want you to see me devastated of the fact that you’re leaving,i thought they need you,they do need you, i want you to be here forever but you cant stay here.the boys need you the fans need you..” he interrupted me and shouted “i know! but how about me?! i need you!” 

“i know, but babe they need you more.i do need you.but you have to.”

“no! i dont have to! i can choose to stay back and..

“and what?! abandon them?! thats stupid harry! thats not you! they are the people who helped you get to your spot! if you never met them you’ll never meet me!”

“i just..” i grabbed his face and looked him in the eye

“im going to wait, i know this big time but you have to.im not the only one who wants you.i know i want you to be mine but you have responsibilities, they need you to be there with them and i..i need you to perform not just for me but for them..”

“so you just..”

“i dont love you because you’re harry styles of one direction, i love you cause you’re harry edward, this sweet spoiling curled hair boy..”

“you really ..you’re the one” he kissed me and held my hands

“promise.. i’ll get you out of here..im going to bring you with me in every tour..so i can have my inspiration” he smiled.

i stood up.cleaning my shorts,wiped my tears and walked.i cant stand thinking those moments why? i end up crying and crying…