2017 had been the year of their lives.  International recognition.  A Billboard Music Award.  Million seller album.  Dream collaborations.  Everything they had worked so hard to achieve was theirs.  Their professional lives were better than ever.  Personally though...  Everyone was falling apart.  Namjoon was feeling pressured as a leader and a good son to do and be more.  Jin's parents were considering divorce.  Hoseok was trying, and failing, to produce his long awaited (and much anticipated) 'hixtape'.  Jimin was on the verge of developing an eating disorder because he had gained a little weight over the holiday season and now everyone was saying he was fat again.  Kookie was finally feeling the pressures of being the 'golden maknae'.  Taehyung was being pulled between who he was and who he was supposed to be.  Suga...  Suga had died and Min Yoongi was fighting harder than ever to keep his monsters at bay...  He was failing.  

Now the seven of them found themselves in the conference room of their company with their PD, their manager, and a counselor.  Like they needed counseling.  They needed a break.  They needed reassurance against their fears.  They needed confidence.

"Joonah?" Bang PD-nim question, and Namjoon realized too late he had missed the first part of the question.

"I'm sorry?" he said in a question, hanging his head in further shame.

Their PD heaved a sigh.

"Have I worked you too hard?" he repeated.

"No, Sir," Namjoon repeated quietly, more guilt coming over him.

"Then what's wrong?" PD-nim asked.

He knew it was disrespectful, but all he could do was shrug.  He had no idea where it had all gone wrong.

"What do you suggest we do?" the counselor asked.

Joon just shrugged again.

"I think you all need to talk to someone, one on one," their Manager said.

The boys all flinched.  They knew that something was wrong...very wrong...but they were afraid to bust their bubble.

"We're fine," Jungkook said, his voice raw from the strain he had felt in recent months.

The others looked like they wanted to say something but didn't.

"I'm cancelling all of your schedules and locking you out of your studios until someone tells me what is really going on," Bang PD-nim said after several long moments.  "Go home.  Go on vacation.  Stay in your dorms.  Whatever you wish.  You are all on probation until everything gets sorted."

The boys all rose up in protest, and for the first time in a long time, their CEO stood up and yelled.  They sat straight down, eyes wide.

"I will start with Jungkook's black eye," he said.  "Tell me what happened there, and swear to me it isn't related to Tayhyungs split lip and I will let you resume your schedules."

Fourteen eyes shifted to look at the table before them in shame.

"Who started it?" Bang PD asked.  "Hm?"

Silence rang out in the room, none of them willing to out any among them.  It would only cause more trouble.

____________________________________________________________________________

For thirty minutes they sat in the silent conference room before they were dismissed.  They had had to sit and listen to their staffs outline a statement and prepare to explain why they had suddenly disappeared.  When they got back to the dorms Jungkook punched a hole in the living room wall, and for a moment Taehyung looked like he was concerned.  It was only for a moment.  Jungkooks last words to him were forever etched in his mind.  He didn't think he would ever forgive him.  

Jin went to his room to pack a bag, saying he was going home, and he thought he might be back in a week.

Jimin stood in the middle of the dorm living room looking lost.

Hobi went to his room and shut the door, the sound of the lock echoing in the silence.

Suga didn't say anything as he threw his phone down on the table and walked back out the door.

Namjoon looked like a tree in the middle of a raging hurricane, his eyes a whirlwind of emotions swirling too fast to read.  He knew what he should be doing right now.  He just couldn't see the point in doing it.  Taking a deep breath and looking around he went to his room and grabbed his laptop, flopping on the bed and turning it on.  Once it booted up he logged on to all of his usual accounts, noted that the twitter login had been changed and they seemed to have been locked out.  

'Nice.'

Checking a few more things and finding a few more accounts locked, he logged in to a secret account he used to troll fan cafes.  It was already a mess.  BigHit had released a vague statement and ARMY was starting to speculate.  It made him sick.  What could he do to assure their fans that everything would be okay?  Lost in thought he jumped when his messenger dinged.

_panda_somangshi:  Did you hear?

Namjoon almost said yes, that he had heard the whole thing, but he decided to play stupid for once.

NotAMonster:  Hear what?

_panda_somagshi:  About BTS?

NotAMonster: No...

NotAMonster: What's up?

_panda_somangshi: No one knows.  BigHit was really vague but they said some things were going on and BTS was cancelling schedules until further notice.  You think everything is okay?

NotAMonster: ...

NotAMonster: They probably decided they made enough money this year 

_panda_somangshi:  I hope everything's okay.  They were doing so good this year 

NotAMonster: I'm sure they're okay.

_panda_somangshi: Yeah...

_panda_somangshi:  How are you?  I haven't talked to you in forever.

NotAMonster: Tired.  It's been a long week.  Work was brutal.  But...my team gets a few week vacation so...

_panda_somangshi:  A few weeks???    Is everything okay?

NotAMonster:  Yeah.  We just got all of our work done so...  Waiting for the new contract to start...

_panda_somangshi:  What will you do?

NotAMonster:  Come see you 

 

_panda_somangshi: Funny!  

NotAMonster: I'm being serious!  Remember what we said?  One day we would meet in person...

_panda_somangshi:  Yeah!  At a BTS concert!  That isn't happening any time soon!  Besides, I'm broke.  And we don't even live on the same continent.

NotAMonster:  Aren't you due for another trip to Seoul anyway?  I'll come to you...

_panda_somangshi:  Nope.  Can't go this year.  I had to finance a move...remember?

NotAMonster:  How are the new digs?

_panda_somangshi:  It's...nice.  I miss my family but...

NotAMonster:  Speaking of...I need to go see my mom.

_panda_somangshi: Didn't you just see her?
 

NotAMonster:  No.  I worked through the holiday.  I thought I told you?

_panda_somanghi:  Negative.  We haven't talked since September.  

NotAMonster: Oh...

_panda_somanghi:  Are you okay?

Namjoon didn't even know what to say.  He was definately NOT okay...  His world was spiraling out of control and he had no idea how to make it stop.

_______________________________________________________

A few days later and no one had spoken to one another.  Suga hadn't returned home and Namjoon had reported it to BigHit.  They had no idea what they had done by taking his studio away.  

NotAMonster:  I'm coming to London for a visit.  Care to meet face to face?

Namjoon had been to London once or twice, but he had never had the time to enjoy it for what it was.  He had always said that one day he would return and make a trip out of it but...he had always imagined going with his friends.  The same friends he had not heard from in days.  Now it seemed he would be going alone, and even though him and Somang had never actually met, he really felt she knew him the best after his immediate family and his adopted brothers.  Other than the obvious, there was nothing he had not told her.  He could see no reason that the two of them should not meet.  Other than again...the obvious...

Maybe if his hair was his natural color and...he forgot about the makeup he usually wore...  A mask, perhaps?  That might be a little too obvious...unless he lied and said that he was sick...  But then why would he continue with his vacation?  Non-refundable tickets?  That might work...  Somang was by no means stupid, but she seemed like a more level headed fan and...who in their right mind would suspect one of their best friends, that they had met in a fan cafe, was actually one of the people they had spent countless hours discussing?  He just hoped she wouldn't be mad when she figured out the truth.  If they were really going to meet in person he knew that he would have to tell her...  He just never thought the chance to meet her would ever come.  Not this soon or...really not like this.  Not when he was hurting and raw.  Not when he needed her strength like a wanderer needed water in the desert.  He just hoped her opinion of him did not change when she found out who he really was.  Mathan didn't exist.  Not really.  He was just a character in a book Joon had once read.  Brave.  Trustworthy.  A fierce, fierce friend.  A man who understood his dreams and followed them endlessly.  He was nothing like Namjoon was at all.

___________________________________________________________

Somang was your typical 24 year old girl from a slightly dysfunctional Army family.  Her parents had divorced, her mom moving back to South Korea, and her father had settled in New York in the Hamptons.  Somang had struck out on her own, moving here and there as her career and educational choices varied.  She had moved to London earlier in the year after having lived there for three months for an interpreter internship.  She loved it there.  Now enrolled in online courses Somang spent much of her time either doing schoolwork or doing freelance document translations for the company she had interned with in the beginning.  The money wasn't bad, and her tuition was free, and...her little flat had an amazing view of the sunrise over the city.  While she had very few friends in real life, she had an abundance of them in online communities throughout the internet.  Her best friend, perhaps, was Mathan.  They had met a little over two years ago in an online fancafe for BTS and had ended up bonding over their general love of music, k-dramas, and art.  Mathan was a fanboy but that was okay because he came for the awesome messages the music contained and stayed for the amazing performances BTS gave.  He was often very insightful into the minds of the boys, but he also had great ideas on life in general and so Somang often found herself having discussions on philosophy at 2am when her nightmares had woken her from the few peaceful minutes of bliss she had managed.  The time difference was a bit pesky, and Mathan had a crazy job that took him away for weeks at a time, but he always managed to drop her a line at least every few days, and when he did, he would apologize for his absence even though Somang knew it couldn't be helped.  They had promised to meet one day, somewhere in the middle of wherever they were, and see their kings in concert, and Mathan joked that maybe he would find himself a girlfriend, because if he really tried, he almost looked like Rap Monster when Rap Monster was having an ugly day.  

Somang had never expected that they would actually meet and so the message from him asking to meet for real caught her completely off guard.

_panda_somangshi:  You're coming to London?  Why?

NotAMonster:  Why not?
_panda_somangshi: Who do you even know here?

NotAMonster: I know you.

_panda_somangshi: I'm being serious.

NotAMonster: So am I.

_panda_somangshi:  I don't know...

NotAMonster:  Please?

_panda_somangshi:  Mathan...

NotAMonster: Somang...

_panda_somangshi: What if I'm not what you're expecting?

NotAMonster: What if you are?

_panda_somangshi: When

NotAMonster: I can be there tomorrow if that's alright? I just need a good hotel, and the name of a taxi service.

_panda_somangshi: Translator?

NotAMonster: I have you 

_panda_somangshi: Wouldn't it be rude to let you take a taxi?

NotAMonster: Are you comfortable with picking me up?

_panda_somangshi: ...

_panda_somangshi: Yeah.  Totally.  Let's do this.

NotAMonster: I'll book a hotel and a flight and let you know.  See you tomorrow?

Somang smiled at the screen in front of her, excitement starting to take her over and settle the nerves in her stomach.

_panda_somangshi: Tomorrow.