“Nadia honey, do you wanna come down for dinner?” my mother asked walking into my room only to find me on my bed crying and clutching onto a pillow.
“No, I’m not hungry,” I replied sobbing.
“C’mon sweetie, this isn’t healthy. You haven’t eaten anything since Mandy brought you over,” she said sitting on my bed and my hair in a motherly fashion. “C’mon, go wash your face and come down. At least have a drink or something,” she continued. I told my mom everything that had happened, and she was being as soothing as possible.
“I’ll just have a drink, but I’m really not hungry,” I gave in drying my face with my hands.

“That’s my girl. But just refresh yourself. I don’t want to be the one to break it to you…but you’re not that good looking when you’re crying,” my mother teased me causing me to spare a few laughs. I threw my pillow at my mom’s face jokingly and then headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later, i returned and the two of us headed downstairs, while my mom continued to make me laugh and smile.

Just as I got closer to the bottom of the stairs, my eye caught something and I froze on the spot while my mom made her way to the bottom.
“Nadia, can we talk?” asked Hyun Joong with desperate eyes waiting at the bottom holding a long stemmed rose in his hands.
“Mom, what’s he doing here?!” I shrieked in shock and anger while looking at my mom for an explanation. I was emotionally confused and my eyes became teary once again. Hyun Joong felt deeply hurt after hearing this and just looked to the ground.

“Sweety, I know you told me you didn’t want to see Hyun Joong again, but look, he came all this way just to talk to you. I knew you wouldn’t come down at all if I told you he was here,” my mother clarified placing her hand on Hyun Joong’s back for comfort. I was speechless and just stood there ready to burst into tears.

“um…, can we please go and talk somewhere?” he questioned again finding the courage to say something. I now looked to the ground, closed my eyes and let the tears just flow down my cheeks. When i looked up, and caught Hyun Joong’s eye, his heart felt a huge burden at the sight of my crying with so much pain in my eyes. He took a step closer to me, but as he did that I took a step backing away from him.

“I don’t want to talk. There’s nothing left to say,” I managed to say softly, my lips trembling. I then turned around to go back up. As i did that, Hyun Joong looked at my mother with a helpless look and then ran up to me quickly, grabbing my shoulder and turning me around. He immediately pulled me into a tight embrace and let me cry on his shoulder. I felt so warm and safe in his arms, but i still felt cheated. I slowly pulled away and shook my head while looking Hyun Joong in the eyes. He felt a hole in his heart grow and he let go of me. I then started up the stairs again and he dropped the rose watching me leave. My mother couldn’t take it anymore and spoke up,
“Nadia, stop. Give Hyun Joong a chance. Here, I’m going into the kitchen so you two can talk in private. I’m trusting you to do the right thing.” I stopped and looked at my mother. I then took a deep sigh and turned around to face Hyun Joong. Hyun Joong who was standing there was astonished and busy holding back his own tears. Without a word I picked up the rose, took Hyun Joong’s hand in mine and led him up to my room so that we could talk.

I held the door open and let him in first. He walked to one end of my room while i closed the door. He was looking at me while i stood there with my back to him even though i had closed the door. There was a short silence where I delicately touched the petals of the rose and he thought of what he was going to say.
“Na…” he started. As I heard this i closed my eyes and slowly turned around. “ we… really need to talk.”
“So talk” I replied quietly finally looking him in the eyes.
“Easier said than done,” he remarked just as quietly. “Well you’re gonna have to help,” he said taking a step closer to me. This time i didn’t move; i just looked at him and tried to keep strong. “Na…what happened? Why did you just leave?” I stayed silent and remembered what i went through at the mall.

“Hyun Joong, how can you act as if nothing happened? If you wanted to break up with me, you should have done it!” I yelled at him.
“Nadia? Where’s all this coming from? I never wanted to break up with you. I care about you too much to do that!” he rebottled taking another step towards me.
“Don’t lie to me! I hate lies and I hate liars!….I saw the pictures! I read the headline! Why did you even bother to come after me if you wanted that……that…” but i couldn’t finish my sentence. I began crying helplessly and fell to my knees. He ran to me and held me in his arms my hair and caressing my back. He then held my face in his hands and began tenderly, “What pictures? What headline?” he said looking me in the eyes.

“You know, the ones in that stupid magazine…that ‘KoreanStars’ or whatever magazine. I saw pictures of you kissing another woman. Do you know how much that hurts?” I posed calming down a bit. He didn’t reply and realized what I was talking about. He looked away and looked to the ground in a body language that said ‘I’m guilty.’ “See…I was right! I knew she was your girlfriend. Why Hyun Joong? Why?!” I demanded an answer. He still didn’t answer and couldn’t even look at me in the eyes anymore. “…you wanted to talk, so talk to me,” I urged him and making him face me.

He closed his eyes, sighed and then began, “You’re right, that woman was my girlfriend,” he confessed. I closed my eyes and cried again. Out of all the times to be right, why now? I let go of him and stood up. I turned to walk away but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back. “Na, listen to me.” I turned around and looked at him, who was still kneeling down. “I said she was my girlfriend. She isn’t anymore and hasn’t been for the past 2years. Do you know why?” I just looked at him and shook my head. “Because you’re my girlfriend. You’re the one who’s been on my mind for the past 6 months. You’re the one who’s picture I kiss every night before I go to sleep. You’re the one who fills that hole in my heart and makes me feel complete. You Nadia …you,” He finished. I was completely emotional and didn’t know what type of tears i was crying anymore. I had my mouth covered with my other hand and was just absorbing everything into my head.

“But why is it in the papers now?” I choked up to ask.
“I don’t know. But I broke up with her because she was upset. It didn’t work out between us; we grew apart and then I was always away engaged with my career. She probably sold her pictures of us to the press to get revenge on me. What was going through her mind, I don’t know. But Na, I swear to you, it’s you who I care deeply about. Please, listen to me-,
“I…I believe you,” I confessed still holding his hand. “But let me ask you one thing. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“As ironic as this may sound, I didn’t want you to think I was cheating on you. But I guess you’re not used to all the rubbish in the tabloids. Besides I didn’t think you would believe it even if you read it.” he explained lovingly and honestly. I stayed silent as everything fell into place and made sense. I felt completely embarrassed and ashamed.

“Hyun Joong, I’m…….sorry for not giving you a chance to explain. Can you forgive me?” he didn’t say a word; he just stood up, and then polled me towards himself and hugged me with a heart of full of compassion. “I already did” he said slyly in to my ear while pulling away. “and i promise i will tell you everything from now on.” “ you’re amazing,” I said wiping away my tears and shaking my head. “Amazing lover or just amazing?” he questioned with a wink. “Both!” I replied and leaned in for another hug of my amazing lover. The tow of us stood in the middle of my room showing our love for one another.

After a couple minutes I pulled away and looked for a vase to put the rose in. In the mean time, Hyun Joong took a seat on my bed and watched me place the flower next to the poem he had given me at the airport 6 months ago. He then smiled and felt peace in his heart. ( I’ll be loving you forever,) he thought to himself.

“I still can’t believe he came after you. Na, that’s so romantic!…I mean if you ever walked out on me like that I would come after you to murder you, but never to make up with you!” Amy laughed as she sat on the floor next to my bed. “Oh…bless him! I wish I had a boyfriend like him!”

“Amy, you wish you had a boyfriend!” I blurted out causing us to laugh, including Amy. You see, it had been just a little over a week since the mishap incident, Now we gathered at my room for a chitchat, which we hadn’t had for a long time. We were all in a perky and laughing mood, and you could tell by the beaming expressions on all of our faces.
“So Nadia, you find out if Hyunnie boy has any brothers?….hint hint!” Amy asked teasingly as she nudged me elbow.
“Yeah, of course he does, but he has a BIG problem!” I laughed.
“What d’ya mean???”
“Well I don’t want to disappoint you, but… he already has a wife.”
“Ahhhhh! I get it. Too bad the good ones are always taken,” she sighed.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Mandy finally spoke up in a dazed expression. We turned our heads towards her, “Oh…… I was feeling ignored so I just said something to be involved with the conversation,” she replied a bit in thought.
“Oh…I get it….I think,” Amy said giving Mandy a look like she was from Mars or something.

“I think we can get you some help. You just hang in there,” Amy replied sarcastically while patting Mandy on the back. Mandy shot Amy a look that said 'drop dead moron!' and then laughed.
“So when are you gonna see him next?” questioned Mandy starting a new conversation, as she lay next to me on my bed.
“Ummmm…I don’t know to tell you the truth. But I have a feeling it’s not gonna happen for a looong time- unless he decides to drop me a surprise visit again,” I replied, which almost convinced them that i was getting used to Hyun Joong’s absences.

Mandy seemed satisfied with the answer and just stared off into space. This meant she was thinking about Jung Min. He was apparently off on a trip to the states with a couple of his friends. Then there was a silence. This was rare with us because we were always giddy and hyper. However, this silence occurred because each one of us was in our own world. Finally Amy realized this and asked for some music. This time Mandy popped in a CD and the song that came on got me blushing. Mandy noticed this and handed me a hairbrush. Then together, we stood up and started to sing, using the brush as our microphone. We were jumping around and singing the song.

Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah..
Yeah yeah Ohhhhh

My friends tell me
Somethin has come over me
And I think I know what it is
I think I'm in love

Boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been doin silly things when it comes to you
In love, boy I think that I'm in love with you
I've been tellin all my friends what I feel for you
Just the other night baby, I saw you hangin
You were with your crew
I was with mine too
You took me by surprise
When you turn and look me in my eyes
Boy you really blow my mind
I don't know what's gotten into me
But, I think I know what it is
I think I'm in love….


When the song ended we dropped onto the bed laughing and out of breath from all that jumping around. After a few seconds, we calmed down a little bit and started to chat again.
“So Na, do you think you’re in love with Hyun Joong?” Amy posed ever so bluntly, catching me by surprise. My eyes were wide open, she and Mandy were now looking at me for an answer. I then looked down and felt myself turning tepid. I stayed silent for a couple seconds and looked over to the picture on my night table. I thought to myself and kept playing the question over and over in my head. I then slowly looked up and looked at their faces who were still watching me. Then a shy grin spread across my face and i slyly nodded, causing Mandy and Amy to cheer.

“I love him!” I laughed feeling warm and bubbly inside after realizing what i had just said. “I really love him!” I repeated. This time i found myself being attacked by pillows being thrown at my head by them out of happiness.
“Wow!, did you hear that? Amy laughed. “Our little Na is in love.”
“I’m so happy for you,” Mandy exclaimed as she hugged me and was returned by one as well.

“Thanks you guys. I just don’t know how I’m going to tell Hyun Joong.”
“It’s really simple. You open your mouth, project your voice, move your lips and the words ‘I love you’ just come out!” remarked Amy sarcastically.
“I know how to say it Amy, I just don’t know when I can tell him. I mean I don’t want to do it over the phone. I want it to be in person-it means more that way,” I explained to them.
“Well you could have just said that,” mumbled Amy a bit upset;
“I think you’re right. Do it in person,” agreed Mandy.
“Yeah. I guess I’ll have to wait a while though. Oh I can’t wait that long!” I squealed excitedly.
“Awwwwww! You look so cute! I envy you so much!” Amy blurted out.
“Don’t hate me because I’m cute!” I joked tossing my hair like a bimbo.
“Shut up you!” Amy replied throwing a pillow at me again.
“Oi! That hurts!” I laughed.
“Good! That’s the idea!”
“Oh that’s it!” I replied throwing a pillow back. Before we knew it, we were caught in the middle of a pillow fight, which had us in fits of laughter all through the night.