I wake to the sound of soft knocking, the low rhythmic tap of knuckles on wood stirring me from my sleep. Blinking the weariness from my eyes, I swiftly slip out of bed and tiptoe to the door.  I open it and find myself face to face with the smiling Onew, his eyes bright with undisguised excitement.

“I see you’re already dressed. Are you ready to leave?” He inquires, leaning on the door frame in his Onew way, seeming to be slightly lopsided as he speaks. I quickly glance over his outfit—a grey blazer with a bright and cheerful shirt and necklace to match. It suits him and I can’t help but smile in approval. I nod in response to his question, taking a moment to glance down at my own light-wash jeans, white graphic t-shirt and white blazer with black details. I had woken up two hours early, restless despite my ability to obtain a few decent hours of rest. With nothing better to do than get ready, I had plenty of time to mull over what to wear. Satisfied with my own choice of clothing, I look back up towards my leader’s bright face.

“I just need to grab a few things—I’ll meet you out front, okay?”

After a moment’s hesitation Onew nods before picking up his bags and turning down the hall. “Just make it quick, okay maknae?”

I nod and watch him leave before turning back to my own room. I feel myself tense as I realize this is what Minho must have seen last night, after realizing this is where he was standing while we were… speaking. I can imagine it now—my face only highlighting the truth behind his words. Men don’t cry like small little boys, yet there I was, the tears streaming furiously down my cheeks.

Why did you have to be right, Minho?

Setting my mouth firmly, all the while stifling the tears that are building behind my eyes, I walk towards the bed to gather the rest of my belongings. I remember to grab my cellphone from off the nightstand before turning to leave, taking a deep breath as I cross the threshold and close the door behind me. Will I ever feel comfortable in my own room again?

The tears threaten to overflow once more, but I refuse to let them. No, I can’t let him be right. But even as I think these things I feel the water slip around my defenses and slowly crawl down my face. I quickly reach up to swipe it away, as if to remove the evidence from the scene. As I attempt to blink away my sorrow, I find myself looking straight at Minho’s door that stands diagonal from my own. And, in spite of myself, I feel my feet move instinctively towards it, longing to see his wide eyes closed shut and his face washed in the safety of sleep.

I reach towards the door, pushing it lightly with my extended fingertips. It swings in slowly, revealing the darkened room and the sleeping man. I feel a gasp slip through my parted lips as I see his dreaming figure, his face blanketed with moonlight from the crack in the curtains. Yet, as my eyes focus on his perfect face, there is something that seems startingly out of place. Something glimmers across his cheek, slowly progressing down his face as he rests.

A single tear, falling onto the linen sheets.

I quickly turn away, my breath catching in my throat. It was too heartbreakingly beautiful-- that such sadness could reside even in his most secure of places; in his own mind. I find my hand unconsciously reaching up to caress my own cheek, as I were wiping that tear from his soft face. I stand there, just ouside his room, my fingers lingering on my face as I try to stop my own tears from falling.

The sound of footsteps startle me out of my momentary lapse of motion, and I immediately move away from Minho's dorm. Hoisting my small bag over my shoulders, I meet Onew halfway down the hall, swallowing back the tears that had threatened to overtake me just a moment ago. As I near him I realize his eyes are still glittering with that contagious excitement of his, but there is a glint of confusion mixed in.

"What took you so long?" he asks as I fall into step beside him.

"I just had to make sure I wasn't leaving anything behind."

But, I am leaving something. Him. I glance backwards, reminded of the scene that I had just witnessed. I suddenly feel regret, for implying this idea was necessary. I should have been brave, at least brave enough to face him on my own. But no. I couldn't even do that right. And now he's going to be alone when he wakes, besides Key and Jonghyun. And I can't help but wonder what Minho will do when he discovers we have left without him.

I'm sorry, hyung. But I think this is still for the best.

Resolute in my decision, I square my shoulders and follow Onew to the car. He probably won't even care; perhaps he'll be relieved to be rid of me for another day.

The car ride is relatively silent. Onew overviews the schedule for the day and the basic premise of the showcase, but besides that, we keep the talking to a minimum. Perhaps it's because he is conscientious of my situation, as he always seems to be, no matter the issue. The silence isn't awkward though; on the contrary, it is most comfortable. Several times during the journey I found myself fighting the weariness that had continually threatened to overtake me, my head lolling backwards as my eyes shut. It was perhaps the third time this had occurred when Onew spoke up.

"You can lean on me, Taemin, if you want." My hyung offers with a smile, his eyes warm and kind. "I know you probably didn't get much sleep last night."

I flash him a grateful grin and slowly let my head rest on his shoulder, all too ready to slip into sleep. Glad that it is Onew that decided to accompany me today, I begin to fall into a much needed slumber, safe under the protection of my hyung. Why is it always him that saves me?