The showcase itself went by in a hasty blur. One moment we are standing in front of cameras, the press quickly snapping pictures, and the next we are shuffled off to an auditorium. It was easy enough, speaking about the movie in front of the fans. Especially with Onew, so calm and composed, beside me. I glance over at him a few times, marveling at his ability to speak with the fans and to relate to them in ways I couldn't possibly do. I've tried to emulate his attitudes and expressions on multiple occasions, but I only find myself falling short of his expertise and laughing at myself in embarrassment.

You should be yourself-- be who you want to be! Because you're amazing, Tae. You can do anything.

I look away as Minho's words echo in my mind, spurring a wave of stinging tears to form behind my eyes. He had said those things once, with that smile on his face, hope gleaming in his wide eyes. I feel my body tense against the thousands of bright lights-- the flashes of the cameras overwhelming my mind. Onew, so controlled in his effort to entertain the crowd, seems to realize my insecurities, for he moves even closer to me, yet speaking even louder to draw the crowd's attention to him.

"Kai-Bai-Bo!" The familiar call echoes throughout the auditorium, followed by countless yelps of excitement from the eager fans. I feel my hyung brush his arm supportively against my own as he counts the winners. This small movement encourages a smile on my face as I raise my head to face the cameras and crowd once more, the thoughts of him pushed aside. I offer to help the counting, and the showcase continues without fault. I take special care to keep a certain someone far from my mind, and with Onew there beside me, it becomes an almost effortless act. The smile on my face, to my own surprise, is authentic. And as we exit the stage of the showcase, with the fans' screams ushering us off, I can't help but be glad to be here, with Onew. Without him.

"You did a great job back there," the leader congratulates me with a grin, patting my back supporting as we walk to the car. "Thank you for your help."

I smile up at him and say, "it was my pleasure, Onew. Really."

This seems to cause his always-present smile to grow and he reaches up with his long fingers to tosses my hair playfully.

"Ah! Hyung!" I cry, reaching up to pry his hand away from my scalp. A laugh erupts from his being as he releases me and I can't help but chuckle as well. How is that Onew always makes me laugh, even if I don't want to?

"Sorry, maknae. I just couldn't help it." He winks, his round face flushed with happiness and I can't help but smile at his cheerful facade, the one that always encourages my own enjoyment, no matter the circumstances. He goes ahead to open the door as we both climb into the car, the night sky disappearing behind the tinted windows.

As I settle into the van I glance at my cell phone, checking the time. 10:32 it reads, and behind the clock there's three notifications. Confused, I unlock the phone to see what I missed.

Three missed calls. Choi Minho. Choi Minho. Choi Minho.

I gasp in spite of myself, and quickly put the phone back in my bag. I had forgotten... what will he be like back home?

"He called you too?" I quickly glance over to Onew, shocked that he was able to decipher the reason behind my sudden movements. He is looking at his own phone, a small frown on his face.

"Ne." My voice is soft, a whisper that almost blends itself with the whir of the engine, betraying my attempt at simply shrugging the whole thing off, as if it means nothing to me.

With a sigh, Onew closes his own phone and leans back on the car seat, running his hand through his hair. He seems stressed and I suddenly feel a wave of guilt wash over me as I realize I am the one that caused this issue. If I hadn't been such a little boy about it...

"Let's not go back just yet." These words, exclaimed in a sudden spurt of excitement, cause me to look up in surprise. "We have the whole night, maknae. There's a bar nearby, it'll only be 5 minutes from home. We should have some fun!"

I can't help but feel reluctant, despite the initial relief that this suggestion spurred. The thought of pushing back the inevitable, the sight of the lonely Minho, rejected, and all because of me, seems tempting enough. But, for some reason, part of me wants to see his reaction, to see his pain. Knowing that he was left behind because of his actions, because he hurt me. Yes, it's selfish and stupid, but I long to see the agony I experienced reflected on his face. Even for a little bit. And then maybe I would be able to run to him and apologize, tell him he was right--

"Come on~", Onew leans over to punch my arm as my silence indicates my hesitance. "Just for a few drinks-- it'll be fun. I promise." And his silly brown eyes, wide and gleaming at the prospect, are enough to make my decision.

"Kenchahna. But only for a bit, okay?" I say with a nod, and his shout of joy with his arms raised to the roof of the car cause my laughter to fill the car. Yes, Onew's right: this will be fun. And a few more minutes without Minho's wrath will be a relief... right?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Ah! We're here. Caja!" Onew grabs my wrist and pulls me from the car and into the busy nightlife of Seoul. I blink, the sudden rush of lights and sounds making it a bit hard to see straight as I stand on the sidewalk with my hyung. His grip tightens on my wrist as a mass of people storm by, caught up in the rush of the night. I try to take in as much as I can before Onew pulls me forward again and into the smoky atmosphere of the bar, leaving the frantic street behind.

It is rare that we go out as a group, all five of us, simply because we cause too much commotion and attract too much attention. I think Jonghyun is the only one that really enjoys all of it, and maybe Key too. I usually dread the thought of being swamped by fans. I just get so embarrassed... But now, just the two of us, it is easy to slip by relatively unnoticed. I do spot a few girls looking up in surprise, their hands flashing to their mouths as they stare. But are able to quickly secure a table at the back of the establishment, swiftly avoiding the hungry gazes as we go.

"See? That was pretty easy." Pleased with himself, my leader crosses his arms and leans back on the bar stool, his eyes shinning with joy. I simply nod, unable to keep myself from looking around in amazement. It's not that I haven't been to any bars before, just not very often. And if we do, we're normally surrounded by body guards of sorts, or fans. But not now-- it is almost as if we are simply two friends wanting to share a drink.

And it's, quite frankly, amazing.

"What do you want, maknae?" I turn back to Onew, a smile on my face. I shrug in response, honestly I could care less about alcohol at the moment, and only half-listen as he orders our beverages.

"Isn't it strange? It doesn't even feel like we are part of SHINee," he laughs, his words reflecting my own thoughts exactly. I turn back to him with a nod, a small smile flirting on my lips.

"I like it," I breathe, my voice soft as the experience settles in my mind. It's almost like before SM decided to chose me and train me... back before when I was a normal teenager, with friends, a life...

"I do too," Onew agrees, and I meet his gaze, his eyes shinning with understanding. I feel my face flush and I turn away, not exactly understanding what just occurred. I never like talking about the days before SM, because honestly, I miss my family a lot. Yet, Onew seemed to comprehend this without me saying a word.

Our drinks arrive then, and Onew immediately reaches for his beer, his smile widening at the sight of the drink. "Gom Bae!" He shouts as he raises his glass. I tentatively pick my own up and echo his cheer, sipping gingerly as I watch my hyung down half the beer in one gulp.

"Hyung!" I can't help but gasp, surprised he was able to do such a thing. But he simply just flashes a confident smile, laughing at my naivety. "Oh, maknae. I can take thousands of drinks!"

I shake my head, unable to believe it, as he finishes off the rest of the glass. "Another!" He calls for the waiter, and before I can protest, there is another beer in his hands.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Impressive, huh?" Onew asks after finishing his sixth, while my first glass remains more than half full. I simply nod, shocked into silence. He throws back his head with a laugh and I can't help but chuckle with him, his happiness permeating my shyness. After hearing my own laughter he begins to laugh even more, so much so that he almost loses balance on the stool. I reach up to grab his outstretched hands to keep him from crashing to the floor, which encourages another bout of uncontrollable laughter from the leader's mouth. I can't help but chuckle along with him, reminded of the Onew condition all of us would make fun of him for.

"I think we should probably head back now, hyung." I say after catching my breath, clutching my stomach to assuage the stitches in my sides from laughing so much.

I look at my other hand, still gripping Onew's flushed fingers and quickly withdraw it. He looks down and a small frown flickers across his face (or maybe that was just my imagination?) before he begins to laugh once more. "Just a few more drinks, please Taemin~?"

Not knowing what else to do, I simply nod as he already motions to the waiter for a refill. He is my hyung, after all. I do know that I won't be able to carry him all the way home and so while he is busy occupying himself with the colorful placemat on the table, I quickly slip out my phone. Going to my contacts list I find my fingers automatically pressing in 최, the first character in Minho's name. Scolding myself I quickly erase it, biting my lip to keep back the tears that had begun to form in my eyes.

I'll call Jjong. He's capable of carrying Onew back.

With a quick glance towards the leader to make sure he's okay, I dial Jonghyun's number and wait for him to answer. 

"Yubseyo?"

"Yah, it's Taemin. Can you come pick up Onew please? He's um... well he's a bit intoxicated," I mutter slowly, not wanting to say anything to offend my hyung. Sorry, Onew. But it's true!

"Oh. You're at a bar? Why did you do that? Was it his idea?"

"Ne..."

"Aish. Which one?"

"Um... I'm not sure. He said it was about 5 minutes away from the dorm?"

"Kenchahna. I'll see what I can do."

Relieved, I smile up at the leader, only to seem him staring attentively back at me. Caught off guard I immediately move a hand up to cover my mouth, something I always find myself doing whenever I am embarrassed.

"What did you just do?" He asks, searching my face for a clue.

"I wasn't sure if we could make it back to the house just the two of us," I admit, avoiding his gaze. "So I asked Jonghyun to come and help."

"You weren't having fun?" Onew's face collapses into a pout and he places both his elbows on the table and rests his head in his palms as he gazes at me, disappointment evident in his gaze.

"Ani! Ani!" I say, waving my hands in denial. "It was a lot of fun, hyung. I just don't want you getting hurt."

Appeased by this response, he nods and smiles again. I feel my own lips curl, relieved I hadn't offended my friend. But, I can still feel his eyes still set on me. Slightly uncomfortable I meet his gaze.

"...hyung?"

"Just stay still, Taemin." His voice is so direct and calm I can't help but follow his command, partly so shocked that movement would be pointless anyway.

And before I can do anything, he leans forward, his hands reaching to cup my face, his long fingers tentatively caressing my skin. His eyes, red with the alcohol that now streams through his veins, bore into my own. His sweaty palms press against my cheeks and his breath clouds over my face. Before I can back away his lips press against my own, tenderly brushing one another. I feel my breath slip out in a gasp and I reach up to push his face away from mine.

Hyung you're intoxicated. You're too drunk. You don't know what you are doing! Please!

But his grip is strong and his fingers wrap around a few tendrils of my hair. I long to tell him to stop, to ask him to stop. That he doesn't know what he is doing, that this isn't alright. That my heart, it can't handle this. Not now. Not so soon...

After a few more moments Onew brings his head back from mine, his eyes slowly opening. He looks at me, his lips pink and full, confusion deep in his gaze. And then he looks past me and those eyes widen, shock and an almost fear residing in them now. I quickly turn around, my face hot with embarrassment and confusion.

But it's not Jonghyun who stands in the doorway. It's him.

Choi Minho.