October 14, 2013

Mood: Blunt

Time: Alone in the room after dinner

Hi younggie-ah,

It’s me again. I know we have just spoke hours ago but I can’t help wanting to talk to you again. Today was an absolute disaster.

Sigh……..

 Honestly, why can’t my life ever be any normal???

Everything literally went haywire; I almost blew the whole classroom with my incompetence and it cause Donghyun Songsaenim to jump in fury. Gritting his teeth, he encircled my milky neck with his strong hands, strangling me out of breath.

OMG, I didn’t know he was serious. He did threaten to skin me alive if I ever do such a silly thing again and I thought he was just kidding but apparently he wasn’t.

He almost killed me if not for Dongho and Jeongmin hyung who was clinging onto tightly him, dragging him away from me.

Humph!!

I don’t know how I should explain this??

But do you know at the very moment when my vision flashed white and I was chocked in excruciating pain, the fear of dying didn’t dawn on me?

Instead, I was only regretful that I could not see his handsome face for the last time. There were still so many confessions I’ve yet make. So many secrets that I’m bottling inside that I’ve never got the guts to let him know.

Younggie, what should I do???

You know I’m keeping mum about everything because I don’t want him to be hurt, don’t you???

Being ignorant is a blessing, isn’t it?

Please tell me that it’s true. What I’m doing is right.

I’m actually protecting him from the harsh reality.

Because.

I don’t know anymore.

I feel like a big fat liar if I ever die with all those untold truth.

Mianhae, younggie-ah.

 I’m sorry.

I know I shouldn’t be asking you a question you don’t have an answer to because I’m also not sure of it myself.

Anyway, I know you’re probably dying to know what I did in class isn’t it???

It was really dumb.

No,I was really dumb.

Yeah as a friend, don’t laugh at me okay.

I’ll tell you.

I’ve...I’ve idiotically read the wrong preheating temperature from 348F to 348°C and overtuned the oven causing the macarons I made to burn in the scorching heat.

My once sweet, crisp domed cap, ruffled foot confectionery erupted into flames turning into a dishevelled black mass in an instant. It was totally stripped of all recognition. And my insides cringed seeing it in that pathetic state, it reminded me of her.

It sickly, reminded me of her.

Her crimson tainted body, lying lifelessly in my petite arms.

Her feeble hand that slipped out of my grip

Her hollow orbs gawping at me

Wordlessly, pleading for me to let her go

To set her free into the embrace of eternity

To set her free from the endless pain and misery

I felt so useless standing there helplessly unable to do anything to lessen her pain, to just stay there and witness the lost of her beautiful existence. 

Do you know, younggie?

At that split second, I think I’ve hallucinated again.

Just like I always do

 I must have.

Because I heard his distressing ear-piercing shriek breaching my tender eardrum once again just like that fateful night when he found me drenched red.

I felt his tight groping fist yanking my collar, shoving me off the ground to meet his cold deathly stare that instantly froze my blood.

My battered body was trembling in his flaming wrath. His hovering presence engulfed me, making my heart raced at the speed of light.

I know this sounds crazy but his presence seems so real.

He was so close that I could sniff the fresh vanilla scent radiating from him.

Every cell in my body was dancing in joy, yearning for his touch.

I really missed him so badly that I felt a part of me being ripped away, buried in the Neverlands with no return.

Younggie..can you tell me, is this too much to ask for???

I didn’t notice that I was glistening in tears until I felt a pair of slender arms flung over my waist, pulling into a bear hug with his soothing voice cooing me to calm down and stop crying because I’ve broke down like a baby in the middle of the class causing a big chaos everywhere. Everyone was gossiping in astonishment about my sudden outburst, staring at me like some crazy maniac which I probably am.

And that was when the whole drama started, Donghyun Songsaenim came squeezing through the crowd surrounding me and attacked me while Minwoo frantically tried to shield me from him which failed awfully because of his petite physique.

Luckily, everything resolved finally but honestly I didn’t even noticed how. I was too disturbed to bother.

Sigh, today was really one tough day for me …..younggie??

It simply drained me mentally and physically.

It left me so tired that I didn’t have the energy to think about him anymore.

I really don’t know if it is a good sign

That I would actually forget about him

Even if it’s for a minute.

I’m scared, younggie.

I’m really scared.

Everything is going out of hand

Dong hyun Songsaenim is really pissed with me today

He is going to give me a practical test next Friday.

And if I don’t pass it, he will expel me from the course

I know he is freaking serious.

So.

What am I supposed to do?

How could he expect me to successfully make a batch of macarons

In like I week, no 7 days.

I can’t even whipped up the meringue without Minwoo’s help

I know it’s just the blending of egg whites, icing sugar and ground almond meal together

But I would still fail

My mixture never seems to form a peak….…it would always collapse

I think I’m screwed.

Big time.

No Kwangmin

Author's note:

                        Yay!!!!! Another update so soon, fastest in my writing history. I hope it's ok, hope it's not too bored since its in a diary entry form. There will be quite abit of baking experience and flashes of the past in this fanfic in the way Kwangmin sees his life now.

Please leave me some comments, I really need the motivation and encouragement to go on. It seems like not much people is interested in this fanfic and it makes me depressed.

So dont stay silent and do comment and subscribe if you enjoy reading this. Thanks alot.

Yup, thank you all for all the wonderful subscriptions and comments. I love them all.

Hehe.......I'm shamelessly advertising my other stories  here. Please do read them if you have the time:

Behind Infinite doors (infinite couples) Finally not alone (Taemin and Sungjong)

Comment reply@

YeonTae: Glad you like it. Hope you like my update.

Neko-Megumi: Thanks for the sweet comment, it made my day.

Xcrimsonxhazelxeyesx: Thanks for the great comment. Their past would slowly unravel; I’m trying to keep the suspense first........hehe so please read on.