October 20, 2013

Mood: Puzzled

Time: 12.30 pm

Younggie-ah,

I missed talking to you but I can’t stay long today.

I’ll go straight to the point; I don’t have much time left. Minwoo will be coming charging in if I don’t get out in 10 minutes.

I’m currently writing this in the bathroom cubicle if you want to know so I really have to hurry.

I totally need to go back and practice my baking. Time is ticking down..the test is like tomorrow and I’m not even half ready. I don’t feel confident at all to ace pass it.

I’m only glad that finally I can make the macrons all by myself right from the scratch. From weighting of the ingredients to whipping, baking and finally spreading on the buttercream between the two caps

Everything!!!!!! Myself...I can’t believe it too..It is the first miracle that occurred in my life after so long. At least I still worthy to do something.

It’s so rewarding, seeing all those little Sungjonggie staring back at me...begging me to taste them. 

Why Sungjonggie??? What’s sungjonggie???

I explain to you next time when I’m “free”. It is Minwoo’s new idea to help me improve and it actually works.

Yup..my macrons actually looked and tasted sort of like the real ones.......but it’s not up to standard yet. Minwoo is totally not impressed. He keeps pushing me to try harder and he doesn’t even give me any rest.

He is a freaking slave driver???? A nut cracker???? A wacko fairy godmother??? The evil wizard lizard??? A evil devil??? Blood er???? Brain buster????....................

Aish.....forget about my stupid description.

I just want to say he is definitively..100% pain in the ...real time.

He is so anxious about my test me that he is working me like a slave right now. I don’t even get a minute off to take a breath……let alone sleep and write to you.

And my ears are ringing because he had tortured them with his constant nagging.

KWANGMIN-AH!!! Not the almond meal, I mean slowly sieve the icing sugar in.

Yay!!!!! Turn the speed to low not high...How many damn times must I tell you, get that in your pea brain, hyung.

Aish, tsktsktsktsktskktsk ..Wrong....wrong..wrong.......everything is in the wrong sequences......Do it all again now, I’m giving you 5 minutes......Go..

YAHHHHH!!!!!!!!.....you’re a slowpoke....what’s taking you so long. Come on do everything again...AHHHHH!!!! 4 eggwhites.... why are you putting 5 of them in.....wash and do it again.

Faster....make it again or else you’re not going to have dinner tonight.

I’m going to starve you.

Eish!!

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts..

Sigh..

His nagging list goes on and on but I guess that’s enough for you to know how y he can get.

We have been literally staying over in the school’s kitchen over the clock for 4 days straight….And I’m going to knock out soon.... I can feel it.

Anyway, back to the main point.

I wanna make it clear.....I’m not writing to complain about Minwoo...though that’s part of the bill.

But!!!

But!!!!

I have a good horrible worrying news for me you.

I heard him, the heir of Jo enterprise will be transferring over to our school, into the performing arts department by end of this week.

And I don’t know if I supposed to be elated or not knowing he would soon be within my close vicinity. My head had been whirling in circles and my temples are throbbing in pain just thinking about it.

I’m now sitting on the edge of the fence. Not only am I worried that I will be kicked out even before he enters the school but I even more worried about being in the same school as him if I’m spared.

You know I have no means to hide from him, don’t you younggie??

Someone is bound to notice our similarities. Even with a shorter hairstyle and a big nerdy spectacle covering half of my face, I still look exactly like him. This’s the reality that I can’t change.

And I can’t imagine what he would do to me if he sees me. He was never as benevolent as he looks. Under his angelic smile hides a ferocious beast, possessive and vicious. Honestly, this is one of his charms that deeply besotted me. Call me sick but really..........how could a he be so perfect?? Not some pushover like me that succumb to my frailty. A weakling that is easily trampled beneath the cold gravel ground.

Younggie... Tell me how am I supposed to face him??  Sigh.

Minwoo won’t be pleased to see him too. They haven’t been in good terms since she entered our life. Minwoo who deem her as a manipulative would deliberately pick on her while he would always take her side. Be her knight in white armour jumping out to protect her.

How absurd that fool since she is far worse than a . She is the truly the reincarnation of Ate; the Goddess of Infatuation, discord, mischief, evil and misfortune.

Even till her last breath, she can’t help destroying my life that’s how cruel she was. She ended her pathetic life and left me behind to take all the blame.

All she ever did was drown me in incessant guilt and misery but I still find it hard to hate her for I understand her simply just too well.

I understand her wrath directed towards me, just like mine towards her.

I felt the same pain cursing in her soul because we loved the same.

We were rivalry of love entangled in a wreaked relationship.

Ironic, isn’t it???

She was a major part of every milestones of my life..And my life was never complete without her.

She was always my first. My first girl friend, my first enemy, my first kiss, my fiancée, my tormentor…...right... I can’t go against her, she made it all happen. .I was rightfully hers and she did everything to make him loathed me and she had succeed.

She took him away from me.

She made him left me.

Younggie

It would have been easier to just hate her, isn’t it???

But I can’t….…I really can’t because I saw myself in her.

We were just two flies trapped in his spider web.

Because he is too intoxicating to forgo

I saw agony

I saw despair

Engraved in her orbs,

Flicking in her conceited self she was trying to be.

Maybe if I’ve tried harder, the past will never turn out this way

If I only have his senselessness

His blindness

His strong innate denial

To stay sane, to abide the morals of humanity

Maybe she wouldn’t go insane

And kill herself

Maybe they were right

I did “killed” her

With my lunacy

With my love for him

That wasn’t accepted in the society

No Kwangmin

Kwangmin POV

“Umm….Suzy. I’m sorry? .” I muttered, exhaling a deep breath, feeling the weight of my sorrow sinking in my chest.

Giving a last tap of my pen onto the smooth paper, I snapped my leather-covered book shut and stuffed it back into my jacket pocket. Heaving a sigh, I reach out to seize the knot and pull open the cubicle door.

Stepping out, I felt a petite physique leaning again the doorframe, shaking his head as he met my gaze. His glinting orbs were reading me meticulously as his lips parted but seal back almost instantly without letting out a gasp. There were clearly unspoken words lingering on his lips which he was concealing and the thoughts of it made me shivered. I knew he saw through me yet again for I’m the open book he claimed to read. All my gestures and expressions were too apparent for him to miss.

Feeling self conscious, I hung my head low avoiding his piercing gaze as I walked passed him towards the sink. Twisting open the faucet, I allowed sound of the gushing water to break the awkward silence between us. Ladling my hands with soap, I scrubbed my fingers meticulously as I steal a peek in his direction, waiting quietly for him to speak up.

It didn’t take long for his austere voice to ring in my ears. “Forget about her, kwanggie hyung...”

“humph....” If only I could.

“He’s back...you know, don’t you??” he asked hesitantly, shooting me an uneasy glare.

“................”Yeah. I replied instantly with my thoughtful gaze interlocked with his fretful glimmering ones.

“Face him, kwanggie hyung.....It’s about time he should learn the truth....you shouldn’t side him anymore......” he whispered in an almost inaudible voice, knowing that I would definitely not abide to his pleading.

“Sigh..” No way...I won’t Minwoo...My eyes widen in dismay as I stared at his desperate reflection in the mirror.............the solemn grimace plastered on his face laced with concern.

 “Hyung...please. Don’t let him make your life miserable anymore.You did him no wrong....he is the dumb one in fault” he sniffed, choking on his words as he stride towards me, pulling me into a backhug. Burying his head against my back, he tightened his grip encircling my waist. “Kwanggie, I don’t want to see you hurt anymore. Promise me that you won’t let him hurt you anymore..”

“umm...ara......so.....” I answered weakly as a faint smile grazed past my lips. The thoughts of having at least a friend, a family that cares for me made me blessed. Having Minwoo by my side was the luckiest thing I had left.

Feeling his heart thumping against my skin, I felt safe but an indescribable emptiness encircled me. I felt lonely deep inside; I’m yearning to be another embrace. I want to be back in his embrace.

Warm like the morning sun ray

Secure and comfy

He had always put me at ease

Even if I was gasping of air

In his tight squeeze

I felt dizzy

I felt light

I….

“KWANGGIE HYUNG. Gwenchana??? Yay.” Minwoo yelled as he caught the falling body of the older boy in his arms.

“Hyung, don’t scare me.”

Author's notes:

                           I know the story is starting really slow but please bear with me. More things will come in soon ok.

                           Yup, comments and subscriptions are loved. So please remember to leave me something. Thanks alot.