Looking into those twinkling eyes, Irene was falling, sinking, drowning in them. 

"I just like looking at you."

"But you are the prettiest flower."

Seulgi shifted her gaze to the beauty more captivating than the sunset, heart swelling with adoration.

"So thank you for letting us have a start, Seul."

***

When they broke free from the hug, Irene still had her head hung low. 

She couldn't believe that Seulgi just kissed her, and she asked to be kissed again which Seulgi complied to. 

She couldn't believe that she just kissed a girl, and she loved it so much she didn't want them to stop at all. 

She couldn't believe that what she thought was a one-sided affection was actually reciprocated, that Seulgi liked her too. 

The grin on her face couldn't be hidden, no matter how hard she tried to suppress it. Without having to see, she knew shades of red were patching on her cheeks. 

A soft touch reached out for her, lifting her chin lightly. 

Looking into those twinkling eyes, Irene was falling, sinking, drowning in them. 

Feelings settled in the pit of her stomach and she didn't know what they were, but she knew only Seulgi was capable of making her feel like that. 

They didn't speak, just looking at each other like nothing else in the world mattered. 

Suddenly, thoughts invaded Irene's mind, instilling fear in her. 

What if Seulgi didn't like the kiss? 

What if Seulgi only did it out of impulse? 

What if Seulgi decided that it was just for fun? 

"I really like you." 

As if she could read all the wild thoughts in Irene's head, Seulgi cleared the fog with her soothing voice, every word of declaration dripping in sincerity. 

The only thing Irene knew was that her eyes widened at the confession; a part being shocked that her mind was read, but a bigger part was being pleasantly surprised at the confession. 

She wasn't sure what she should do, panicking beneath her quiet facade. 

Being confessed to was nothing new, even from girls at certain point of times but it was different this time, somehow. 

Because she really, really, likes Seulgi. 

And she didn't want to screw things up. 

So she did what she thought was the best, to let actions speak for her. 

Tipping toes lightly with her hands on Seulgi's shoulders, her sight wavered between maintaining eye contact and the lips that she was about to taste again. 

A smile widened upon her advance, face lit up with anticipation. 

The same chilling sensation ran down her spine when their lips connected again, even though she wasn't bold enough to proceed any further than just savour the taste of sweet chapstick lingering on Seulgi's lips. 

She wanted to take their kiss further, though unaware of how she should do it. Just lightly parting her lips, she was praying in her heart that Seulgi would get her hint. 

Gently lifting Irene into her embrace, Seulgi parted away for a split second as if to look for an affirmation before closing their gap again.

Irene's hands gripped tighter on the shoulders when Seulgi leaned into the kiss, tongue sliding carefully in between her lips. 

She could hear her own heartbeat pumping furiously when the younger one began to explore the inside of ; the sensation was soft and warm, just like Seulgi's personality. 

Finally snapping out of her own thoughts, she returned the affection, hands transferring to caress the cheeks instead. 

"Seulgi.." Open mouths hovering each other as they caught their breath. "I like you too, so much."

It was only then when Irene realised that Seulgi's slender body was trembling, likely from adrenaline, likely from fear of rejection. 

Her heart melted into a puddle of warmth, knowing that the latter was just as nervous as she was. 

The gentleness of Seulgi was undeniably heart-melting, captivating Irene more, as if she wasn't liking Seulgi enough yet. 

That was the first time they finally aired their feelings, the first time they kissed, the first time they tasted each other entirely. 

Boy was it addictive, that first time of more to come. 

They were walking together side by side, hands brushing against each other but nobody made a move. 

Irene was indeed a pro in initiating skin ship but now that they have declared their liking for each other, things weren't that simple anymore. 

Hand holding should be nothing difficult either, it's just that she wanted to be more sensitive towards Seulgi's pure heart, unwilling to take random actions meaninglessly. 

"I meant my words, you know?"

A timid voice broke the quiet atmosphere. Irene looked at Seulgi who was looking at her with a tiny grin and mirrored back. With that, she took the chance to lace their hands, sealing all gaps between their fingers to reassure Seulgi.

Contentedly, she nodded her head in acknowledgement. 

"Me too, Seulgi." 

Just like that, they held hands for the first time as two individuals who were more than just friends to each other, like what a couple would do, strolling their way back to Irene's apartment. 

They weren't a couple yet, and Seulgi didn't want to rush into that.

The silence resumed again but it was a comfortable one this time. Irene could feel a pair of unwavering eyes that wouldn't look anywhere else except at her and whenever she turned to her side, Seulgi would still be looking at her like she was the best thing in the world. 

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

Blushing, Irene poked at Seulgi's cheek to the other side with her free hand, though she didn't exactly dislike the attention. 

"I just like looking at you."

Seulgi turned to face Irene again with a sincere smile. 

"You are really beautiful."

Irene couldn't stand the embarrassment she was in, merely giggling as she covered her face more, trying to avoid Seulgi's gaze. The latter only let go of their hands to wrap her arm around Irene's waist, laughing at the shy antics. 

In the midst of all teasing, they reached the lift lobby of Irene's apartment and stood face to face, each wearing a silly grin. 

"So... Goodnight, I guess?"

"Hmm, are you in a hurry?" 

"Not really," Seulgi shrugged. "Why?" 

Looking around the almost deserted neighbourhood, Irene decisively closed in for a hug. 

"Then let's stay like this for awhile more."  

Seulgi just let her lips gravitate upwards, never tired of smiling for Irene. Her arms enveloped the smaller figure protectively, hands petting lightly at the waist while resting her chin on the crown of Irene's head. 

For the first time through the night after the series of events, Seulgi let the entire happening settled in and her heart was blooming with happiness. 

For the first time in her life, she truly felt like she had everything best in the world, and the best was in her arms, named Irene. 

She knew, this wouldn't be the first time she would be this happy, for they would have many more happy days ahead to come.

But before all happiness, fear always lingers. 

Irene fidgeted uncomfortably behind the cake counter, feeling perspiration condensing on her back despite the air condition in the cafe. 

Her eyes fixed on Seulgi who was studying earnestly at a corner, brows furrowed when thinking of a problem. Unknowingly, she smiled at the sight but it soon went away again when she thought of what she was going to ask Seulgi.

It was a few days later after their shy confessions and Irene had been thinking about asking Seulgi out for a date; an official date which they will do things that couples actually do, but she wasn't sure how to put it across without sounding like she feared a lot of Seulgi's rejection. 

Just like their hand-holding, they had been on many one-on-one outings as best friends. 

The problem was, they weren't just best friends now. 

"What are you thinking about?" 

Seulgi was suddenly in front of her, sipping on her cup of Americano casually. 

Irene must have been too deep in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice Seulgi's presence before her. She chuckled nervously, randomly tidying the already neat counter top in attempt to hide her nerves. 

"Is something wrong?"

Her paranoiac was also growing on Seulgi, who reached out to place a hand over her moving one. 

"I.. Hmm.." Irene hesitated. "I wanted to ask if you, you.."

"If I..?" 

She bit on her lower lips, feeling her palms wet from sweat.

Well heck it, it's do or die. 

"Will you go out with me this weekend?" 

There was a moment of silence; long enough to make Irene feel like she needed to escape to the back of the cafe to bury herself deep into the fridge and never face the world again. 

The hand on hers slipped away and her heart dropped to a bottomless pit but when she heard a chuckle, it felt like there was still hope. Seulgi pinched her on the nose playfully, then ruffled her hair. 

"Were you jumpy for the whole morning because you wanted to ask me out?"

Irene pouted, nodding. 

"Are you asking me for a date?" 

"Yeah, like go on a picnic or something but if you are not free-" 

"What time should I pick you up?"

A pair of eyes widened at Seulgi's comment, mind experiencing a malfunction. 

"Wh-what?" 

"I will pick you up at 5pm, okay?" Seulgi smirked. "Now, I have some studying to do."

Irene watched as the younger one swayed her way back to the table handsomely, mouth slightly ajar. Seulgi just agreed to a date, even offering to pick her up. She wanted to shriek like a little child but she held her composure, knowing better than to embarrass herself. 

Seulgi smiled at her again before returning her attention to the notes scattered on the table.

It was the first time Irene officially asked Seulgi out on a date, asking not just as a friend. She knew this first time was going to change it all for them, in a blissful way they would never be sick of. 

"Aren't these flowers pretty?"

Irene bent over to take a sniff at the vibrant flowers along the cycling track of Han River, heart couldn't help but feel entirely at ease with the peace they were indulging in.

Little did she know, instead of looking at the flowers, Seulgi's eyes were only on her. 

"But you are the prettiest flower."

Cheeks reddened with shyness, Irene pushed Seulgi on the arm. There wasn't a day that Seulgi didn't tell Irene that she was beautiful, ever since their feelings were made known to each other. 

It made Irene more heads over heels for the college girl. 

They sat on the purple mat, chewing on the kimbap rolls and slurping on ramen that they bought from the road stalls. 

"Why didn't you get your favourite chicken?"

"Because you don't eat them." 

As usual, Seulgi was the little sweetheart she had always been, taking care of the smallest details.

They just sat there, shoulder by shoulder, looking afar towards the horizon where the sun was setting. Their tie was after all a forbidden one, so none of them ever tried to do anything more than just handholding like every other girls with their friends.

Slowly but surely, Irene inched her hand closer to Seulgi's that was resting on the mat in between themselves. It was just a brush at first, then she hovered over to lace their fingers together. 

She chuckled when there was slight jerk of surprise before the latter squeezed their hands tighter, both of the girls still looking at the mesmerising scenery. 

"I really don't know what to plan for us to do, although I asked you out." 

Irene's quiet voice was music to Seulgi's ears.

"I have always imagine myself watching the sunset by the river with the person who I really like, and I wanted to do that with you." 

Seulgi shifted her gaze to the beauty more captivating than the sunset, heart swelling with adoration.

"So thank you for letting us have a start, Seul."

The last name may came as a whisper, but the younger one heard it all, hearing the strong feelings Irene has for her. 

Even a sudden downpour couldn't dampen their cheery mood as they ran hand in hand under the rain, laughter echoing through the night. Seulgi ended up at Irene's apartment, trying to dry herself but she was just too drenched. 

"It doesn't seem like the rain will stop anytime soon."

Irene brought out a fresh set of outfit and placed it beside Seulgi who was warming herself up by sipping on some hot chocolate. 

"I will get going once it gets less heavy." 

"I think.." Irene bit her lips. "Maybe you should stay over tonight?" 

Seulgi almost scald her tongue at the suggestion but was able to get a grip, maintaining her composure. She was already secretly grateful for the rain since it bought her more time with Irene, but right then, she wanted to give a hug to the God of rain. 

"I guess I have no other choice." 

She tried to act as nonchalant as possible, opposite to her speeding heart. She swore it was a sigh of relief, almost happy if she dared to say, that she heard from Irene as a tiny grin ghosted on the latter's face. 

Throwing her wet clothes into the dryer, Seulgi wasn't too sure what else she should do next. But for one she knew, she was absolutely in love with the scent on the hoodie that she was wearing, one that belonged to Irene. 

Approaching a yawning girl, Seulgi ruffled Irene's hair. 

"You look tired." She rubbed her thumbs on the cheeks. "You should go to bed now."

"Come on, let's go."

Seulgi resisted the pull on her hand, surprised at Irene's reply. She can't deny that she did conjure herself sleeping beside Irene, but she wasn't expecting herself to actually be sharing the same bed as her date. There was still a line that she wanted to draw between them, to show Irene respect. 

"You go, I will be here." 

Irene didn't say anything, merely making a face at her like she had just said something ridiculous before tugging her with more force towards the bedroom. 

"Are-Are you sure this is okay?" 

Seulgi stood frozen while Irene was already climbing to her side of the bed, scratching the back of her head like a lost child. Half kneeling, the latter brushed her hair aside, nodding with no hesitation. 

After much internal battle, they laid facing each other with an appropriate distance apart; not too far to be able to see each other's features clearly, not too near to send adrenaline surging through their veins. 

It wasn't awkward like Seulgi thought it would be, instead, it was a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of her stomach with Irene looking her directly in the eyes. 

Maybe it was the dim lighting that helped Seulgi garnered more courage, she began running her fingers against the smooth skin of Irene's face, inching a little closer than before. 

"I seriously like you so much." 

Her words were coated with sincerity and she knew Irene felt the same for her when the elder pressed in for a kiss. 

It was simple, yet so sweet.

Abandoning all concerns, Seulgi rid her awkwardness, stretching out her free arm to cushion Irene's head, pulling her into a cuddle. 

The crook of her neck was so fitting for the head resting against it that it was as though they were just meant to be. 

Realising that it was their first cuddle, both girls only latched more to close the last gap in between, feeling the warmth emitting from each other's body. 

For sure, that night's sleep was one of the best they had in a long while because they were sharing one bed, possibly one sweet dream too. 

But happy days weren't all that they had.

A day or two after the first stay over, crazy ideas were running through Irene's mind again when there was still no news of Seulgi since their last phone call after the younger one went back to her dormitory. 

Maybe she didn't want this anymore? 

Maybe she realised Irene just wasn't for her? 

Maybe an ambiguous, forbidden relationship was too much for Seulgi? 

Tears welled up in her eyes as she continued staring at her phone's photo gallery, at the picture they took after their first innocent picnic date by the Han River coupled with many kiss stealing moments when there was nobody around. 

It was a day so great, Irene concluded that anywhere with Seulgi was automatically paradise. 

She then swiped to the left, the picture of a sleeping Seulgi came in sight. 

It was the morning after the sleepover and she awoke first, finding herself so indulged in watching her girl slept. For a split second she even considered herself as a ert, because she just couldn't look away from the baby-liked face. 

Unknown to the sleeping log, Irene had defied her self-control, showering uncountable amount of kisses on Seulgi's features, feeling like she would suffocate if she didn't release the overwhelming adoration she harboured. 

But there she was then, worried about the lack of news and it was hell. 

Standing by the window, she dialled the number she had long memorised by heart, not even minding if she was acting desperate because Seulgi simply mean too much to her for her to act cool. 

"Hello?"

When it was an unfamiliar voice that resounded through the phone, Irene's throat dried up like she had been water deprived for days. 

"Hi, I'm looking for Seulgi?" 

"Oh she-"

She heard a voice echoing from the background and instantly she knew who it was. There was a rumble before the one who she had been pining for answered the phone.

"Irene?"

"Hey," She replied with a sulking tone. "You- I haven't heard from you so I was just worried. But it's good to know that you are okay. I'm just going to go."

"No wait-" 

A sniff came after a series of coughing.

"Can you please come see me?" 

Like a spell cast on her, she forgot the torment she went through the nights because of Seulgi's temporary disappearance, rushing to the dormitory which Seulgi resided in the university. 

It turned out that Seulgi fell sick from running under the rain and her roommate was the one who picked up the call when she asked for her died phone to be charged. Irene mocked herself in her head for being such a paranoid person, only to reason with herself that she cared very much about Seulgi. 

An ill Seulgi was an adorable, clingy Seulgi and Irene despite being worried, had her heart melted into a puddle of affection when the younger one latched onto her the moment she entered the room. 

It was hilarious how dependent Seulgi was, refusing to drink the chicken soup Irene bought unless she was fed. But of course, Irene was more than willing to pamper her sick little girl, lovingly catering to the patient. 

There wasn't a time when she could move about without Seulgi whining for her to not go far, not even when she wanted to put the dish away in the kitchen. The ill ended up half-demanded, half-begged to be cradled on the single bed, preciously wrapped in the embrace that she felt the most comfortable in. 

"Do you feel better now, baby?" 

Irene asked while caressing the cheek with her free hand, the other protectively enveloping the slender body. Pressing her lips on the forehead that still felt slightly warm, she showered kisses as she whispered words of concern. 

The hands circled tighter around her waist, looking up at her with puppy eyes.

"What did you just call me?"

When Seulgi failed to hide her cheeky grin at the new nickname, Irene broke their sight, pretending to not know the answer to the question but her blushed face betrayed her. 

"I'm still very much sick now," Seulgi coughed. "Please?" 

That pretentious sad pout and blinking eyes asking for Irene to repeat her word was the undeniable combination that the latter eventually gave in, calling out softly but not without affection. 

"Ba-baby..?"

Seulgi giggled, heart light and happy.

"Call me again!"

"Baby."

"Yes?"

Irene was getting the fun out of it too, especially with how Seulgi's face lit up with joy.

"Baby?"

"Yes?"

Lowering herself, Irene pecked Seulgi on the lips. 

"Get well soon, baby."

For the first time, Irene had meticulously taken care of Seulgi, nursing her with love. 

For the first time, Irene gave Seulgi a nickname that made the sick smiled like everything in the world was so beautiful. 

Just like how they wished for, things were going on smooth for them.

When Seulgi thought she couldn't be anymore happier with Irene, she was proven wrong.

Soon came the first time she actually followed a recipe from top to the bottom of the instructions, in attempt to make a cake for Irene, to celebrate their 50th day together, even if it was a status-less relationship.

What surprised her more than not burning down the kitchen was how the cake turned out to look rather pretty with the purple frosting she handmade and most importantly, looked edible. 

She sat at the dining island in Irene's apartment, looking at the beautiful girl with anticipation but also worried that the taste would be horrible. Even before the latter could grab a fork, Seulgi quickly pulled the cake away.

"I think it's better to not eat it, what matters most is you feel my sincerity."

Irene was faster to stop her than she could dispose the cake. 

"There's no way I'm not going to eat this, it's your effort!"

"Let's not joke with your health, alright?" 

"Baby, you made it with the intention for me to taste it so at the very least let me try it!" 

Crumbling at the calling of baby, Seulgi reluctantly let go of the cake, serving it before the owner of a cafe who bakes her own products for sales, praying in her heart that the recipe didn't fail her. 

Seulgi watched closely at every movement of Irene; the way she poked into the cake, the way she smiled at the choice of colour, the way she slowly brought the fork in between her lips and savoured it without any comments. 

Irene was expressionless, just quietly chewing for a brief while before swallowing. Seulgi heaved a deep sigh and stopped the fork that was going in for more. 

"It probably tastes really bad right? Let me go get you something else instead."

She was ready to pack the cake away but Irene didn't let her.

"I didn't say it was bad."

"It probably is, I have never made things above average." 

Seulgi laughed as she walked over to the kitchen to grab the cake box before continuing.

"I love you too much to let you suffer through my horrible baking."

It was only when the fork dropped onto the table, then Seulgi realised what she had just said. The three words she declared without much thoughts made the entire atmosphere still and involuntarily, her body trembled when she heard the chair dragged, signifying Irene's movement. 

Of course she meant her words, but she wanted to punch herself hard in the guts for speaking her mind so freely without considering Irene's feelings. Maybe it was still too early to be talking about love, even though Seulgi had already harboured feelings since their best-friend-days. 

It was the first time she said the three words and she felt so right, yet so wrong. 

Fiddling with the box as footsteps approached her, she tried to salvage the situation. 

"What I mean was, I- I'm just-" 

She could feel her palms get sweaty from the loss of words. 

"Seulgi?"

She knew Irene was just right behind her but she couldn't bring herself to turn around. 

"Ye-Yeah?" 

She hated how shaky her voice sounded. 

Irene tugged her on the sleeves, then on her arm, turning her around. She hung her head low while she let the elder girl control her body and soon felt a loving hand cupping her burning cheek. 

Irene stepped closer until their foreheads met, dawdling their noses. 

"I love you too."

***

AUTHOR’S NOTE:

This is an additional chapter to what I already have written, to make up for the tears. 

Really, I should be rushing for my uni report but I ended up posting this instead.

This 11 pages worth of fluff that gives a glimpse of “behind the scenes” is my way of apologising for the previous heartbreaking chapter, and also a breather before we continue this angst journey of SeulRene. 

I hope this makes up for it and you all enjoy it! 💖💛

Till the next update (let’s hope not too long from this), do leave me a comment! :)