"The way she looks at me.. I just.. I just know it, you know?"

***

She remembered that one time when she took Irene home to celebrate her mum’s birthday. 

Her parents were so fond of Irene that it made her so proud.

She wished she could just introduce Irene with another identity instead of just her best friend. 

“You are a much better help than my daughter is!”

“Mum!”

Seulgi whined like the child she is, munching on the granola with yogurt while watching her mum and love cooked over the stove. 

“Sorry princess but the other princess is definitely better in all ways when it comes to the kitchen.”

Her dad chirped from the living room, earning laughs from everyone at her expense. She pouted at Irene who turned to look at her endearingly, thumb reaching out to whip the yogurt stain beside her lips. 

“That’s because I inherited your bad genes in cooking, Dad!”

“Well, I have your mum to cook for me so there’s no loss for me.”

She scoffed at her dad’s comment, pout becoming more evident. 

Irene leaned in closer while both parents weren’t looking, whispering into Seulgi’s ear.

“I will cook for you too.” Seulgi’s face flushed. “How can I bear to starve my baby bear, right?”

The pout became the widest grin instantly and Seulgi held onto the hand that was pinching her cheek, pressing her lips softly on the knuckles before reluctantly letting Irene off to help her mum. 

For every two steps she took towards the living room, she turned around to glance at the back view of Irene who was busy with the cooking, knowing that she would never be sick of this sight. 

“Princess?” 

Her dad began the moment she sat herself beside him on the couch and she shrugged her shoulders in respond. 

“Is she the one?”

Her jolly mood was disrupted by the waves of nervousness upon the question, her eyes widened as they shot between her dad and Irene in the kitchen behind them. 

Noticing the warm and accepting smile from her dad, she decided that there wasn’t any point in lying.

“Yeah, Dad.” She gave a firm nod. “She is the one.” 

“What is it about her?” 

“She gives me everything, putting me before herself."

Mr Kang watched his daughter turned to gaze lovingly towards the other figure beside his wife.

"The way she looks at me.. I just.. I just know it, you know?” 

He only nodded as she continued. 

“But it isn’t easy, not with her homophobic father or our unaccepting society. She’s scared, she doesn’t say it but I know she is.”

Mr Kang pat Seulgi on her head when he saw how those eyes fogged with a pinch of sadness. 

“She doesn’t want to say it because she doesn’t want to burden me, Dad, and I don’t know what I am supposed to do for her.”

“Just be there for her, Seulgi. She just needs you to be there.” 

Their conversation was interrupted by Mrs Kang’s beckoning for dinner, which was nothing short of laughter. Her dad’s words had never left Seulgi’s mind throughout the entire time she and Irene were strolling their way to the nearest mart to get some fruits. 

“What are you thinking about?”

Irene tightened their intertwined hands, thumb drawing tiny circles in attempt to ease Seulgi’s mood. Seulgi stopped in her tracks to face Irene, eyes looking at their hands and smiled. 

Maybe Irene wasn’t able to find courage to come out, but she always hold onto Seulgi so delicately in public. 

“My parents really like you.” 

The elder one broke into a shy grin.

“That’s nice to know.”

“And they know about us.” 

The grin which she expected to fade away only stayed, moonlight shining on Irene’s face, enhancing her outstanding features. 

“You are okay with that?”

Irene sighed before standing a step closer.

“If they are okay with it, what’s there for me to object to?” 

Seulgi pulled her into a hug, closing the final gap, hands caressing the back. 

“You don’t have to be scared as long as I’m with you, baby.” 

There was no question to Seulgi’s dedication, both understanding the unspoken words. 

“Stay with me always, Seul.” 

“Always.” 

The more she thought about the promises she broke, the more she hated herself. 

If Seulgi had anymore tears, they would have soaked the entire pillow but her eyes had dried out. For the entire night, she had been staring, just staring at her still phone, waiting for a call, a text, anything, to be received from a certain someone. 

Her only one. 

But there was nothing.

It was just Seulgi and an excruciating heartache.

She thought of heading out to look for Irene, but killed off the idea when she realised she didn’t know how to start. The only thing that kept her head clear was that it was Irene’s apartment after all; she would have to return sooner or later. 

The sole question was, if the elder one would forgive her for the needless suffering she made them underwent and let her eat her words, or decide once and for all that they shall end like how she laid them out in the air the night before. It was a conflicting moment between wanting to see Irene again, versus being afraid of not being able to win the girl back.

The clock struck midnight; Christmas was over.

If Santa Claus actually existed, Seulgi would ask for nothing but to be with Irene without having to separate ever again. She scoffed at her own thought, knowing that she was being so desperate to wish for a fictional character to fulfil her hope. 

Maybe that was how she made Irene felt before, all hopeless and helpless and now it was her turn to experience the same.

Her mind flashed images of their past, everything that they had done within this place.

She missed savouring Irene’s milky skin, the way their lips melt into each other’s, how it felt to be so close.

She found it so endearing when Irene couldn’t bring herself to look at her as she let her touches lingered on the smooth skin. 

Irene only grabbed onto Seulgi’s shirt, clinging closer with each touch that reached further down her body. 

Ever since their first ion, they had been mentally and physically closer than before and it had been about a month since then. 

There were moments when Seulgi hesitated, but she was craving to taste the elder one again. 

They were merely laying side by side on their shared bed, looking into each other’s eyes when Seulgi couldn’t help herself but to begin fondling the curves and edges.

“Baby..?”

Irene darted her eyes to look at Seulgi upon the whisper and looked away quickly, face redder each second. 

She still wasn’t all that accommodated to the new experience, though she couldn’t deny that she was burning on the inside, desire firing for the latter. She debated in her mind about what she should do with her awkward hands, those hands that were resisting the temptation to feel Seulgi up. 

With her free hand, Seulgi lifted Irene’s chin to maintain eye contact, touches getting closer to the sensitive region. 

Irene swallowed hard at the tender looks within those monolid eyes before she leaned in clumsily, brushing her lips against Seulgi’s so gently like she was afraid of hurting the younger girl. 

Seulgi’s heart bloomed with happiness at the initiative taken by Irene but she stayed still, wanting to prompt for more responses. 

Slowly but surely, Irene started to nibble at Seulgi’s bottom lips, hands finally freed themselves from their still position to cup Seulgi’s cheek, another carefully feeling at the chest. 

Before they even realised, their bodies were tangled into one, lips unable to detach from each other’s taste.

Laying on the same sheets when more often than so where their bodies were so closely held in each other's arms, Seulgi couldn't feel anymore lonelier at every moment flashing in her head. 

Without much expectation, she rang the same number like she did previously, listening to the dial tone, ready to leave another voicemail when-

“Seulgi..”

The dial tone stopped when the call got through, a weak voice resounding through the phone. Seulgi’s heart skipped a beat upon the calling of her name. 

“Irene!” She shot up from the bed. “Where are you? I will come over now!” 

“It’s okay, Seul, don’t come-"

“Please, I’m sorry.. Let me come to you, let me make up to you!”

“Shhhh, don’t worry baby.. I'm coming home,” The voice weaker at each reply. “I’m coming home to you.”

With that being said, Seulgi heard the punching of numbers before the door opened and closed. Her body was forced to react as fast as her heart wanted to, charging outside to see the figure she missed dearly stepping into the living room. 

Carelessly, she knocked them into the wall when she crushed the petite body into her embrace.

Her hurting eyes moistened, her breath hitching and her heart pumping faster than ever.

She was too indulged in the return of Irene to notice a low hissing, encircling her arms further around the tiny waist as her lips found their way to the other pair. 

The mouth was already parted, waiting for her to dominate as her pink muscle darted in to engage them in a fierce kiss.

Irene cupped Seulgi’s face, brushing her thumb across the soft skin, fingers fondling at the ears.

She held back her whines when she felt some blood wetting her back upon the strong hug she was enveloped in, the thick liquid being absorbed quickly by her shirt. 

Seulgi nibbled on her lips, ripping the supposedly dried wound at the corner of , letting the red staining them at the same time. It was only then when the young girl snapped out of her indulgence, pulling back slightly with her brows furrowed, thinking her aggressiveness had hurt her love.

“Oh my god,” Her thumb brushed the cut. “Irene-”

More urgent tears fell and Irene put their foreheads together, spotting a small beam.

“It’s okay, I’m okay.” 

She wasn’t.

Her legs were feeling jelly from the injuries that bruised her over, but she stood strong for Seulgi. With her trembling hands, she reached for the paper bag that was knocked off when she first came in.

“I know I’m late, but here. Merry Christmas, my baby bear.” 

Seulgi was finally starting to notice that there was something not quite right about Irene, especially with the slightly uncoordinated movement of the body.  

“Most of the shops are closed, so this is the best I could get for you."

Irene opened up the bag to reveal all types of sweets, ranging from candies to chocolates and even her favourite Pringles, neatly packed in festive bags.

"Sweets make you happy, and I want you to be happy, Seul.” 

Irene put the gift aside when Seulgi hang her head low, pulling her back for more hugs. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you baby, I’m sorry for thinking we are better off separated than together.. I’m sorry for being so selfish when all you have been doing was putting me before yourself. Take me back, please, take me back.” 

“No, I can’t.” Seulgi’s heart dropped. “How can I take you back, when I have never given you up..?”

A wave of relief drowned the younger girl as she sobbed aloud, grabbing onto Irene so tightly, all the while muttering her apologies.

Little to her awareness, Irene was biting down on her jaw, quietly shivering with the pain surging through her veins. Realising little blood on her arms beneath her long sleeves were leaving marks on Seulgi’s shirt, she tried to distance herself. 

“Hey, hey.. Don’t cry anymore. Let me go change and I will get back to you, okay?” 

Reluctantly, Seulgi let Irene slipped away from her, but not without watching her recede, as if afraid she would vanish once more.

However, strips of red on the black and white strip shirt caught her attention. Irene was just about to enter the bathroom when she was halted.

She pretended to not hear anything, heading further inside.

“Baby, wait..” 

The closer Seulgi got to Irene and the more she knew, Irene was definitely not okay.

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Happy #1000DaysWithIrene, my sweetest, dearest girl 💖

Another quick update today and SeulRene are once again, back together. :) 

I mean, who else do they belong to but each other right? 

Thank you for everyone's constant support for this story! ❤️

A few more chapters before She Knew will come to a wrap & honestly I wish I could write more for this story.

But of course, I am in the midst of another on-going which I would likely preview when this ends. 

I hope I would still have all your support as I continue to write more SeulRene & other OTPs for you all. 

Till the next update, do leave me a comment please! 😊

Also, may everyone enjoy #RussianRoulette 💘🔫🍒 & have fun with our girls during this comeback! 💖💛💙💚💜