“I want to be strong, for you.” 

***

“Seul, let’s talk when I’m out.”

She tried to shut the door but she was too weak. A body forced itself through the gap, hands reaching out in attempt to lift the shirt up.

“Hold on, Seul, wait.” 

She chuckled nervously, hoping to brush Seulgi off while pressing her back up against the wall. 

“Let me look at your back.”

“Can’t this wait? I really need to use the toilet.”

“Are you hurt?” 

Beads of perspiration surfaced on Irene’s forehead because of the pressure she overly applied on herself, in addition to Seulgi’s powering hold earlier on. 

Little to her acknowledgement, her body was quivering uncontrollably at the pain which was getting more unbearable with each second that slipped. 

“Baby, please..”

Panic was evident in Seulgi’s voice.

“Are you hurt, baby?” 

Seulgi took a step forward when the body swayed. 

“Bae Joohyun, did you hurt yourself?”

Seulgi had almost never called her by the full name like this; anxiety laced tone. 

Her strong facade crumbled as she was constantly pleaded at and she too, could barely withstand the burning sensation any longer. 

Nodding lightly, she finally let Seulgi break down her defence wall, letting the latter approach her fully. 

“What in the world-”

The moment Seulgi lifted the soaked shirt, perspiration and blood blended, her heart literally hurt. 

She could feel the burn in her head as many questions surfaced, anger rising at whatever cause of the various thick marks tainting Irene’s flesh. Some were criss-crossed, some flesh torn and some swelled. 

Droplets of blood slowly emerged from the wound right before Seulgi’s eyes and she noticed Irene clinching her fists. 

Seulgi’s mouth ajar, free hand reaching towards and retreating back repeatedly, unsure if she should run her fingers across the bruises or not. The moment the tip of her nail grazed on the swollen ones, Irene groaned lowly but quickly kept quiet when she felt Seulgi jumped lightly in shock. 

“Where exactly were you..?” 

She figured Irene was in too much agony to reply, so she rolled the shirt back down as gently as possible, trying to not impose anymore pain but definitely failed, for Seulgi saw how the body shivered furthermore involuntarily. 

“I’m taking you to the hospital.” 

“No.. No, just leave me be and it will get better.”

“Baby!” 

Seulgi stomped her feet out of jittery. Her entire body felt like it was on fire. 

“These wounds look nothing like it will be better without treatment! This looks like abuse!”

“That’s exactly why I can’t go..”

Irene turned around slowly with her eyes shut, biting back another growl that was begging to escape. She forced a smile and almost stumbled forward but she was caught just in time.

Seulgi’s face was full of perplex, horror and worries when her palms were stained with warm liquid. 

“Seul, you should go wait outside.”

As if she wasn’t injured, as if she wasn’t hurting like the pain would make her faint, Irene pressed her voice as stable as she could, bringing those blood stained palms under the basin to let the water run. 

“I will-” Irene hissed a little. “I will take care of myself.” 

Seulgi snapped out of her daze and went against objection to lift the shirt entirely over Irene’s head gently, exposing reds all over the fair skin. 

Her eyes shifted uncomfortably, mind still trying to process the situation and she swallowed hard. 

Irene soothed her on the cheek, making her look up, as if wanting the younger to avoid seeing whatever that stained her body. 

She was getting an idea or two about how these injuries came about but she held in her questions and got busy with aiding Irene. 

“I can do it myself so you-”

Heaving a loud sigh, Seulgi laced her fingers with Irene’s, eyes staring into the other’s, firm and unwavering. 

“I got you.” 

Letting the water ran to the right temperature, she held back her tears, seating Irene on the ledge of the bathtub before removing the remaining clothing articles. 

“Let’s get you clean up first and I will go get you medicine, okay?”

She ceased her tidy brows when Irene snickered, pulling out a tube of what seemed like medication, passing it to Seulgi. 

“I bought it already.” 

If Seulgi was too shocked to cry previously, she was sure feeling the pang of sadness brewing in the pit of her stomach upon the sight right then and there. 

“How can you still laugh when you are so torn..?” 

Even if it hurt, Irene still reached out to caress the face of the younger girl squatting in front of her. 

“I want to be strong, for you.” 

Tears welled up but Seulgi willed herself to swallow the lump away. 

If Irene could bear so much for her, so could she. She kissed the slender fingers on her face and sat Irene into the bathtub with much effort. 

Once the water rinsed down on the back, Irene’s hands immediately grabbed onto the rim of the tub, knuckles turning pale at the pressure against her pain. 

Seulgi moved the shower head away but it didn't seem to relieve any sufferings. She couldn't reach out to soothe the marks either, just anxiously wondering what she should do.

“Baby, I-I..”

"Just go on, I'm okay."

I'm okay.

That was what Irene had been saying constantly over the short span since she was home but it was a blunt lie. 

How should Seulgi be convinced when she was witnessing so much shaking from the body from bearing the pain, the fingers losing blood colour from the hard grip against the bathtub? 

When the water ran down the back once again, the pressure caused more blood to ooze out. 

The bathtub turned chalky red in no time and Seulgi thought she was losing her mind at the sight. 

"I really think we should go to the doctor now."

"I can endure this, Seul. Don't worry."

She brushed away her tears as quick as they came, unwilling to burden Irene with her own overwhelming emotion. She refused to become the one who needs comforting at such a moment. 

Seulgi only began to relax her tensed nerves when the water soon cleared out of red, returning back to normal. 

She heard Irene exhaling constantly, hissing and sniffing, obviously having uncontrollable tears streaming down her face. She only let her free hand lingered on areas without contamination of wounds, hoping to give comfort of some sort. 

"Seulgi, wait.." 

Cleaning the wounds was hard but drying them was harder, especially whenever the fabric poked at the injuries.  

Dapping lightly on the back still hurt and Irene had indeed reached her peak of endurance when she finally asked for a time out. 

Wearing the bathrobe on her front, exposing only her back instead, Irene sat on the bed, squirming at the uncomfortableness. 

Nevertheless, she remained calmed, rarely showing much on her face so as to not worry Seulgi even though she understood it was inevitable. 

Sitting behind Irene, Seulgi accumulated a stomach full of tears that she had so far, yet to release. Her lips glazed on the shoulder, their fingers intertwined. Every squeeze on her hand signified the agony that she couldn’t help relieve. 

"Lay down on your front." 

Irene heeded Seulgi's advice and it took her remaining will power to not wince at the split of the wounds, including the one on her arms. 

She buried her face into the pillow, biting her teeth together while letting the pain subside at a snail crawling speed. 

Cold air from the air condition blew on her back, chilly yet somehow soothing. 

Seulgi sat on the floor beside her, fingers running through her hair, their eyes never leaving each other's. 

"You ready?"

Seulgi asked for permission to apply the medication that Irene had originally intended on nursing herself, in the dark. The younger one could tell that Irene had just relaxed when she suggested for treatment and felt her heart ached on behalf of the patient.

"I'll be as soft as possible.”

With a nod, she began by squeezing the medication on the strips, which Irene jolted upon the cold yet stinging sensation. Using cotton tips, she spread the medicine evenly, ensuring that every corner of the cuts were treated. 

Irene's fists loosened when it came to an end, releasing a lengthy breath of relief.

"Well, that wasn't too bad."

Irene cracked a joke in attempt to cheer the atmosphere up but Seulgi didn't humour her. 

Just watching her with clouded eyes, Seulgi fought off another wave of tears. Lips hovering on Irene's forehead, she showered loving kisses.

“How are you so brave..?” 

"Admiring you was a great distraction." 

Irene's voice soft, exhaustion apparent but glad that a tiny smile broke across Seulgi’s face. 

Patting the bed, she signalled for Seulgi to join her which the latter complied without hesitation, only with minimal movement incase she hurts Irene. Laying on her front too, they locked eyes once again, fingers laced.

"Aren't you going to ask me what happened?" 

"Only if you want to talk about it." 

It was a lie. 

Seulgi was dying to get an affirmation about the monster who did this to her love, but she was afraid that her heart wouldn’t be able to receive the information of the process. 

"I was at my parents' place.”

The younger girl clinched her jaw, unwilling to believe that the Bae would have laid such heavy hands on their biological daughter. 

“I told them about this wonderful girl who I am so in love with.”

Irene smiled at how Seulgi’s monolid eyes enlarged, lips slowly parted, shock spelled all over the face. 

“I also told them about how this beautiful person is somebody who I want to always be with and nobody can ever change that.” 

Seulgi’s mouth opened and closed for a few times before she could formulate a response. 

"You came out to them?” Irene nodded. “Mr Bae.. He did this to you?”

Irene shrugged. 

“He was generous with my Christmas present this year.” 

It was supposed to be another lame try at joking, yet it brought reverse effect when Seulgi heaved a burdensome sigh, bringing their joint hands to cover her face.

"Why..? Why come out when you know your dad wasn't going to take it well?" 

“Because you were going to leave me.” 

It was Irene’s turn to feel welling tears at how close she was to losing Seulgi. 

“Because I couldn’t be without you.”

Seulgi inhaled deeply, breath shaky, lips quivering. 

“Because I love you so much, Seulgi.”

The tears let loose of themselves; they had been held in for way too long for Seulgi to halt them anymore.

"I'm so sorry..."

Perhaps it was the overwhelming emotions that she had been bottling up from the moment she witnessed the wounds on Irene that just couldn't be contain anymore, her apologies only turned into mad sobbing. 

How she wished she didn’t let her emotions get the better of her, didn’t let alcohol strip her ability to think her words through the night before, calling for quits and put themselves through this avoidable ordeal. 

She felt like the actual culprit behind Irene’s suffering. 

Her body hiccuped violently when she couldn't get a grip of herself, merely clasping Irene's hand against her chest. 

Irene's heart wrenched in pain more vividly than those inflicted on her body upon the sight. Helpless at the situation, her eyes moistened more, though she let nothing fell. 

She wanted to be strong for Seulgi.  

She only tightened their laced fingers, hoping to coat the guilty heart with comfort. 

"It's bound to happen eventually, baby.”

Her lovingly tone only evoked more tears from Seulgi. 

“It took you more than two years of waiting, that's enough, isn't it..?"

"I'm sor-"

"Shhhh..." Irene hushed her. "If you must say something, say that you love me."

Seulgi nodded instantly, more tears soaking the pillow. 

"Of course I love you, I love you with every cell of me."

"I love you that much too." Irene beamed with contentment. "Our promise ring... Put it on for me."

Unsure if she heard it right, Seulgi took a deep breath in attempt to hush her cries, blinking repeatedly at the elder one. 

Irene smiled assuredly. 

She wore it on the chain all these years but nothing was stopping her anymore. 

"It's your turn to promise me that you would always stay by me, okay?" 

Finally, a faint grin broke across Seulgi's teary face as she slipped the ring onto Irene's third finger, just like hers before intertwining their hands again. 

"I promise." 

Irene felt Seulgi snuggled closer and she knew, every wound was worth bearing.

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I have brought SeulRene back together again, but Irene is still suffering. 

Nonetheless, SeulRene will both enjoy peace in the soon to come time. 

In approximately another five more chapters, She Knew will come to an end. 

Thank you for your subscriptions, upvotes and comments.

I really appreciate and read through all your comments.

It makes me really happy so if I may ask, do continue to drop me comments! 😊💘

I have been really occupied with school and work these days, pardon me for slow updates!

I will do my best to write more better stories and chapters for everyone!

Till then, please stay with me through this SeulRene journey. 💖💛

PS

With the comeback of #RussianRoulette💘, the girls seem to be having a harder time than they already are.

That pains my heart. 💔

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If you have account(s), do vote for them or stream their MV on YouTube! 

Do leave a comment showing the girls your support on their instagram if you are free,

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