Yunho changed into his own clothes and left the ward quickly before Yunjae returned. But it was too late, just as he stepped out of the hospital, Yunjae was right outside.  

“Where… are you going?” Yunjae asked, with the bouquet of lilies in his hands. 

“I…” 

"Were you out looking for me? Don't worry, I didn't leave, I just went out to look for the bouquet… I forgot all about it when the ambulance came to pick you." 

Yunho still didn't answer… he didn't know what to say or what to do… 

You have to be firm. You have to be firm. If you don't go now, you'll never be able to. 

“You’re leaving.” Yunjae said again, grasping the situation. 

Yunho clenched his jaws and breathed out, “Yes." 

"But you didn't wait for me?" 

"I… I'm planning to leave alone. Don't worry, I'll book your tickets back to Korea for you. If there's nothing else, I'll get going now..." 

Go now. Go. 

Yunho quickly quickened his footsteps to leave. If he stayed for another second he would not be able to control himself from holding on to him… 

Did he follow me? No no don't look back. Just keep walking Yunho, just keep walking. 

When he stepped into the hotel, he couldn't help but turn back. He's not there. 

Why would he be… this makes things easier. Yunho sighed and continued his way up to their room. 

"I guess this is it…" Yunho looked around the room once more, looking at Yunjae's stuff lying around the room… 

"Goodbye…" 

"Liar." 

Yunjae was right in front of him when he opened the door. 

"Liar. Liar… you just said that you would take care of me. You just said that you'll never leave me. You'll be there for me. To trust you. To put me as your first priority. Lies. Lies! Are these words so easy for you to say?! So easy for you to make these promises?" Yunjae shouted as he squeezed the bouquet tighter in his arms. 

MY HEART ACHES SO MUCH. DON'T DO THIS TO ME. Yunho tightened his grip on his luggage's handle. 

"I trusted you. I trusted you too easily because you were the first one who treated me well after I woke up in this foreign country…I naively thought that you might actually lo--- never mind. I guess I was wrong." 

A drop of tear started to trickle down Yunjae's reddened face. 

*************

"Joong ah… don't cry anymore oh?" 

"Who was the one you caused me to cry huh?! I'm not a tap! I can't stop just because you tell me to!" 

Yunho pulled him into his arms and kissed his forehead lightly. "I love you… I'll never make you cry again… only happy tears from now on, alright?" 

"You said it yourself~" Jaejoong wiped his tears on Yunho's clothes slowly. 

"I promise…" Yunho whispered softly as he pulled Jaejoong closer for a long kiss… 

*************

I’m sorry…. I broke my promise… 

He wanted to reach out to wipe his tears away… but he can’t… he must not… 

“Don’t go… please.” Yunjae said as he grabbed hold onto Yunho’s hand. 

His sudden action shocked Yunho… 

What did he just… No. Be firm. You HAVE to go. 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I said all of that to you, I thought that I could do it but it seems like I can’t…we’re both adults aren’t we? You can take care of yourself, yes?” 

Yunho clenched his fists and pushed past Yunjae, holding back his tears… 

“Take him with you.”

Yunho looked up to see Heechul standing in the hallway. 

“It’s you!” Yunho stared at him, “you again…”

“I… let me speak to you privately… before making a decision. Please.” 

*************

“You can speak now,” Yunho sat down opposite Heechul, as Yunjae sat in the other room, still holding on to the bouquet of lilies. 

“That guy outside, Yunjae… He is Jaejoong. Your Jaejoong.” Heechul said every word slowly and carefully. 

“Are you kidding? BUT HOW?! And who are you?! Why do you keep appearing in front of us?!"

"I-- I was his main surgeon when he was hospitalised due to the accident…" 

Yunho shifted closer to him, anxious to learn the full story from him. He could feel his heart thumping wildly.

"I… was also the one who brought him out of the hospital." 

"YOU WHAT? Brought him out of the hospital?! When?! You mean when he died?!" 

"N… no… I brought him out after the surgery... He was unconscious when I brought him out, but I wasn't sure if he would even wake up." 

"Why?!" Yunho raised his voice, almost shouting now. 

Heechul’s eyes darted round the room, avoiding any eye contact with Yunho.

“WHY?!” Yunho demanded, now shouting.  He could not hold it in anymore. 

"He… I…  I was the one who caused the accident!" Heechul knelt down in front of Yunho and cried. "I'm sorry!!!" 

"YOU WHAT?!" Yunho stood up, shivering in anger. "I… I was the one who sped and drove recklessly and I swerved so that I would not hit the car ---" Yunho continued as he recalled that day... that fateful day when he caused his “death”.  

"Yes you did, but I… I was speeding too...  and I dashed across although the lights were red. If I didn't dash across, you wouldn't have to swerve, your car wouldn't flip.” Heechul peered up to Yunho for any reactions from him before continuing, “I panicked and drove off but came back again because I felt so guilty! But... but the ambulance already took both of you, so I followed you guys all the way to the hospital… I wanted to help save Jaejoong so I pretended to be back for night duty. But… but…" 

"But what?!" 

"He saw my car plate! He was mumbling and I… I heard him calling your name and... and saying my car plate number… so I --" 

"Yes…the police told us that there wasn't any CCTV in that area so we didn't know what happened exactly… so it was you…" Yunho's voice now deep, seething with anger. 

"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! I'VE A FAMILY, I CAN'T GO TO JAIL, I PANICKED. I had to hide everything! So I had to hide him too… " 

"So what did you do next? What the hell did you do?!" Yunho shouted, demanding for an answer. 

"I… I swapped his body out. My wife is a nurse, and she was on duty that day too. After telling her about it, we decided to swap his body, we couldn't risk him waking up and telling the police about me! We can't have that… so we swapped him out and…And kept him in a secluded hospital…but I swear I continued to treat him!!" Heechul continued, still kneeling on the ground. 

Hearing this, Yunho dropped to the ground too, grabbing on to his collar, forcing him to look at him “Have you absolutely lost your mind?!” 

"I made sure that he received proper treatment! I SWEAR! Years passed, he went in and out of consciousness. When he was awake, he couldn't remember anything… I wanted to give up on him… until I saw you that day… at the graveyard…I overheard that you attempted to commit suicide, I felt so guilty, that you never forgot about him and …so I sent someone to check on you and found out that your cancer relapsed and that you're going overseas… so I decided to take a gamble. To bring him overseas as well, a few days before you fly. I was thinking if he woke up then, I will let him meet you again. And he really did… guess fate really has its way…” 

“Fate has its way?! You bastard… How could you do all this when you’re a doctor?! Don’t you have any morals?! YOU TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME! ALL THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED IF NOT FOR YOU!” 

"I'M SORRY I REALLY AM. And I got my retribution too!” Heechul started sobbing in grief and guilt.

“Retribution?” Yunho laughed. “What? Did your loved one die too?! Or did someone kidnap your loved one like what you did?!” Yunho pushed him to the ground and stood, towering over him now. 

“No… my wife… she… contracted cancer and passed on… I... I couldn’t save her…” Heechul replied, now crying even harder. “That’s why… I decided to do this. I was able to be her side, to walk the journey with her, but you… you were alone and I---”

Yunho chuckled at that… “So if your wife didn’t contract cancer, if she didn’t die, you would have kept Jaejoong with you forever? IS THAT IT?” 

“I don’t know…” 

Yunho took a deep breath… he could feel his heart ache. So so much. He was alive and yet he was not by his side. He was alive all these while! 

You were alive… How could I not know… 

Yunho imagined Jaejoong alone in the hospital, fighting the battle alone… not knowing who and where he was… alone. All alone. It felt like his heart had been torn apart. Not crushed, not shattered, but torn. Ripped.

“How could you… HOW COULD YOU?!” Yunho smashed a vase on the ground. “I blamed myself every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And you just walk in now to say that it was you?! What do you want me to do? Huh?! Forgive you because of your sob story?!”

Heechul shook his head again and again… no words could express how he felt now…  

“Get out. GET OUT!!” Yunho can’t stand to see his face any second longer. 

“I know no words can help… but I really am sorry…” Heechul said softly as he stood up, his body shaking... 

Just then Yunjae ran in, “What… what happened? I heard a lot of shouting and I heard something break…” 

The sight of him brought Yunho to his knees… “I’m so sorry…I’m so so sorry..  It was all my fault... If I… If I lifted the cloth that day to see you one last time… if I took care of your funeral myself… this wouldn’t have happened…it’s all my fault... my fault... ” His voice quivering… saying every word seemed to take an immense effort… 

He remembered that day... when he went to "see" him one last time, but he didn't... he couldn't... because he was filled with guilt... 

I don't even dare to face you... to see you... to take one last look... because I thought I caused your death... 

I'm a murderer... I killed you... 

I'm a murderer... 

I killed you...

I'm a murderer... 

I told this to myself every, single, day... but now... 

“I’m… I’m so sorry…” Yunho’s hands clenched into shaking fists, he wept... tears streaming from his eyes…loud, heaving sobs tearing from his throat, he couldn’t stop… heavy drops of tears fell from his chin relentlessly, drenching his shirt… his whole body was shaking… he couldn’t speak anymore… 

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW... HOW?!

“Yunho ah… what happened?!” Yunjae held on to him as tight as he could, not knowing what to do… Yunho sobbed in his chest unceasingly… his head in his hands now… 

This is so painful... it hurts so much... this pain... 

The muffled sobs wracked against his chest as the world slowly turned into a blur…  and so did his surroundings… The last painful emotion hit him before he lost consciousness…his breath was heavy... tears still streaming down his now closed eyes…

“You should go,” Yunjae said to Heechul coldly before carrying Yunho onto the bed. 

“I’m... sorry…to the both of you... ” Heechul bowed one last time before heading out…

“I’m sorry… I took that 1% chance that you might not lift the cloth to look at him when he passed on… I... used your guilt towards him…” Heechul sighed as he leaned heavily on the closed door.