"What am I doing here?!" Yunho woke to find himself in the hospital. 

"You were in so much pain. I was worried… so I…"

"Let's go. I don't want to waste time here." 

"Please." Yunjae grabbed on to his arm. "You have to get treated." 

…

"Fine. If you don't want to, so be it. Come, let's go home." Yunjae stood up angrily. He couldn’t understand why Yunho was acting this way and the worst thing was that he didn't tell him anything. 

"Hyung, heard that you're back, how're you fee---" 

"Doctor… Doctor Shim! I… come… I mean, please go! I mean… come… come over here. Yunjae ah, can you please wait outside? I'll speak to him, he's the doctor I've been seeing. Don't worry ok? Please?" Yunho stuttered nervously, afraid that he would call out Jaejoong’s name...

Yunjae? Dr Shim couldn't take his eyes off Yunjae, but didn't say anything… 

Yunjae nodded and walked out reluctantly, feeling confused. 

Dr Shim’s eyes were still fixated at the door after Yunjae closed them. 

“Do…. do you see him?” He turned around as he sat down on a chair slowly. He looked like his soul had left him… “Did you.... See him?!

“Yes yes I did. Quiet down, Shim Changmin!” Yunho climbed out of the bed and grabbed on to his shoulders.

“Y...yes?! Yes we should be quiet, if not he might come back…” Changmin’s eyes darted to the door continuously. He suddenly pulled his pants and looked into it.

‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Yunho asked in a hushed voice.

“Whew… I wore red underwear today, we should be safe!”

Yunho rolled his eyes and sat beside him. “Listen. That person… Yunjae, is Jaejoong.” 

“WHAT?!” 

“QUIET!” Yunho covered Changmin’s mouth in a hurry. 

“It’s a long story… but the thing is that he lost his memory…He doesn’t know that he is Jaejoong…” Yunho told Changmin the whole story in a low voice, afraid that Yunjae might overhear…

“That bastard!! Where did he go?! We should round him up and give him a good bashing before turning him in to the Police!” Changmin cracked his knuckles in anger.

“Forget it… he said it himself, he got his retribution… just let him be…” 

“So… what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know... “ Yunho looked down at his bare, cold feet.

“I heard about your condition.”

Yunho nodded slowly. 

“If I were here when you were hospitalised that day, I wouldn’t let you leave like that.”

“What could you have done…?”

“What do you mean by that?! I saw those reports. You could have gone through with the treatment there and then! They told me that you were not receptive to any treatments. Why was that? Are you really planning to throw your life away again?”

“What’s the use?! I tried. I survived, yet here I am again!”

“Then what about him?” Changmin pointed towards the door. 

Yunho could feel his heart racing… 

“Let me tell you this. If you are not going to go through with any treatments, I will tell him who he really is. And who you really are.” 

“Don’t. Don’t use him to threaten me,” Yunho stood up, standing inches away from Changmin. 

“You’re leaving us with no choice. Do you know how frustrating it is to see someone waste their life away when they have the chance to survive?! There are so many people out there who WANTS to live!” 

“I don’t care…Leave. HIM ALONE.”

“No. I know that the only person who can persuade you now is him. So decide now, will you do it or not?”

“Please… please don’t do this to me…” Yunho suddenly lowered his tone. “You know what the treatments would do to me! He stayed by my side once…  and  it took a huge toll on him… I can’t let him go through with it again.” 

“Will you do it or not?” Changmin repeated again. 

“Changmin! Please! Don’t force me! I want to be by his side but he will suffer again!” Yunho begged as his sobs got louder.

“WILL YOU DO IT OR NOT?!” Changmin walked towards the door this time, one hand on the door’s handle. 

“I’LL DO IT! Please don’t... don’t…” Yunho finally slumped to the ground and cried… 

Changmin released the handle slowly and walked towards him… “If you don’t go through with the treatment, he will be in more pain, don’t you know that?” He slowly knelt down beside him and placed his arm around him… 

“I know… I know but I can’t---”

“What’s going on…?” Yunjae peered into the room slowly, worried. “Yunho! Is he in pain again?!” He rushed towards him.

“Don’t worry~ He’s fine. And he decided to go through with the treatment too!”

Yunho shot a stare at Changmin, with his teary eyes. 

“What treatment?”

Damn hyung… you really didn’t tell him anything…

“Just some treatment for his…old ailment... “ Changmin replied guiltily as he shot another stare back at Yunho. “And it’s thanks to you~” 

"Thanks to me?"

"Yes yes! He didn't want to make you worry, so he decided to get himself checked and go through with the necessary treatments~"

You are so cruel, Shim Changmin… Yunho frowned at him.

Changmin grinned at him before helping him up. “Come on now, the floor is cold, don’t sit here. We will start your full body check and scans. We will be able to determine the severity and what to do from there. So you have to stay here tonight. Understood?” 

Yunho looked at Changmin’s stern face and nodded. 

“Well then~ Will you help me keep him here?” Changmin smiled at Yunjae. 

“S...sure.” 

“Great! I’ll see you later then! Have a good rest, the both of you~” Changmin waved as he approached the door. “But no hanky panky~” He winked before exiting.

Awkwardness lingered between them after hearing what Changmin said…

“Uh… I… um…” Yunjae could feel his face heating up… 

Yunho laughed at that~ “Yah… you don’t have to feel embarrassed! He is always like that, teasing me…” 

“O...oh…” Yunjae nodded. “Why… were you crying? Were you in a lot of pain?”

A soft smile started to form on Yunho’s face… “Come, sit here.” He patted at an empty space beside him. 

Yunjae walked over although he was a bit taken aback by his gesture… 

“I got reminded of a person… I forgot how much this person mattered to me… and how much pain I brought him… and now… I feel like we are going through the same thing again…it pains me so much… ” He began to choke on his own words again, as he felt warm tears filling in his eyes again. 

“Who… is he?”

You. It’s you. I want to shout it out. I want to tell you the truth. But what if you cannot take this pain? What if… 

Seeing that Yunho couldn’t answer his question, he leaned in slowly and wiped his tears away… “Your eyes are beautiful, Yunho… don’t let the tears ruin them…”

Their eyes met… this was the first time they came so close to each other… 

Yunjae finally leaned in and kissed his forehead lightly. 

Yunho’s eyes widened as he felt his soft lips against his forehead… the same pair of lips that he was so used to, felt so distant… yet so familiar… 

“S...sorry! I… I just wanted you to stop crying! So I ---”

“Don’t… don’t ever feel sorry for this kind of thing, ever again.” Yunho smiled slightly before pulling Yunjae into his arms. During the last few years, he had formulated all sorts of scenarios in my head, all revolving around this precise moment… holding him, kissing him, and more importantly… being together… 

“I… love you.” Yunho couldn’t hold it in anymore, He had to say it. He had to tell him how he feels. He had to…  he could feel his heart beating hard against his body… 

There was silence between them… he doesn't know what Yunjae is feeling… but at least he knows that he doesn't want to break free from him… he wants to be here, with him, in his arms, at this moment… 

What about the person in your heart…? Can I accept him when he already has someone in his heart?

*************

"Mor...or or ning…" 

"Mm…" Yunjae started to toss as he heard Chang Min’s voice.

“Morning.” Yunho mouthed back. He was awake long ago but didn’t dare to move his arm as Yunjae was hugging on to it tightly. He signalled Chang Min to go out but he didn’t listen. 

“Yah… you!” He said in a hushed voice. “He knows?”

Yunho frowned and waved his hands in the air again, asking him to keep quiet. 

“Hmm?” Yunjae finally opened his eyes slowly… 

“A...ah… h...hi?” He said in a sleepy voice as he saw Chang Min. He quickly sat up and straightened his shirt.

"Hi~ Did you have a good rest? Must be hard for two grown men to squeeze in this small bed~" Chang Min winked back at him. 

“It was fine.” Yunho snapped back at him.

“I… will go wash up.”

Chang Min smiled at Yunjae but his smile faded as he left the room. 

 “Nervous?”

“I was… but after last night, I felt that I gained a bit of courage to do this…” 

Chang Min nodded slowly. He understood that Jaejoong is the one and only person who can change his mind and what he did last night was necessary. 

“If it didn't spread to the other parts of your brain, we will schedule for a surgery immediately to remove as much of the tumour… if possible. You have to understand that you have delayed your treatment for quite some time.”

“I understand... “ 

“Are you going to tell him?” 

“I should, shouldn't I?”

“To be honest… I feel like you need to tell him the truth about your relationship with him and your illness.”

“I know… but I can’t bear to… you know how much he suffered with me. He had to endure the sarcasm and rude comments made by my father… even with all that, he would just smile and tell me that he is fine. But I know that he was having a really hard time…”

“But he did it willingly… out of love. For you.” Chang Min patted Yunho’s shoulders. “Give it some thought. Maybe you should put some trust in him. That he will love you as much as he did before he lost his memories…” 

“What did I miss?” Yunjae pushed the door open hurriedly. “Have we gotten his reults, Dr Shim?”

“Ah… don’t call me that! You can call me Chang Min like how you--- I mean like howwww Yunho hyung does~” He quickly changed his words as he saw Yunho glaring at him. 

“I can’t take this anymore~ I’m going to give myself away if I continue talking to him… ” Chang Min whispered to Yunho and turned back to Yunjae. “The patient will tell you more about his condition and treatment plans.  I shall take my leave~” 

“A… alright, thanks!” Yunjae bowed politely and rushed back to Yunho’s side. “How’s it? Have they checked the cause?”

Yunho nodded and stretched his hands out, asking for a hug. “Don’t worry~ it’s just benign brain tumours.”

“Brain tumors?!”

“Yes… but they are benign! Means they are non-cancerous~ I’ll be fine…”

Yunjae snuggled back into his arms, “That’s good… that’s good... I will be here with you...”

“Thank you…” Yunho smiled and kissed his forehead lightly. 

“Sorry to be asking you this now… but is there any news from the guy that you hired…? To find out more about my past?” 

“D… don’t be sorry! I should have updated you! I… uhh… I have found someone but so far I have not received any calls yet. Don’t worry! I will let you know once he contacts me!” Yunho lied as he squeezed him tighter in his arms. 

I’m… sorry for lying to you time and again…