[CONTENTID1]P.O’s POV[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2][/CONTENTID2] 

[CONTENTID3]       

‘’Do you really think she deserves to know?’’ I asked as I scrunched up the same photo which had been snuck inside my locker for the past few days and threw it on the floor with ferocity. It was really annoying. I think everyone got the message that Hannah was trying to make but why was she still trying so hard after all of this time?

I took some things out of my locker and placed them inside my bag, once I finished I swung the bag over my shoulder and shut the locker loudly. I turned to them and I saw them staring at me like I was mad. ‘’What?’’ I asked and frowned.

 ‘’I thought you were the one who was always on her side, what’s gotten into you?’’ U-Kwon had come out and seemed like he just said everyone’s thoughts out loud because they were all on the verge of nodding.  Block B was here minus Zico since he had come out of the hospital today but went home. School hours finished and we too had planned on going home to pay him a visit until someone mentioned something about Hana.

Taeil the only one who to this very day still wants Hana and Zico to be together mentioned that we should tell Hana that the other Hannah was a liar and that she wasn’t really pregnant. I obviously didn’t see any point, after what happened at the hospital I don’t think she deserves to know the truth, she completely left Zico shattered and besides, Hana wouldn’t even care, she has a new boyfriend that she very much ‘loves’.

‘’I just think that this relationship isn’t meant to be. Even if we go and tell her that Zico was drugged at the party and that Hannah had control over him it’s not like she would go back to him, I can see that she chose someone else. I can see that she too had enough of everything. We should just let things go as they are, if she does find out then it may be up to her to do anything or try to talk to Zico about it but I doubt that’ll happen.’’ I said and Taeil exhaled. ‘’Now let’s go, he’s probably waiting for us.’’ I said walking through the centre of the gang and headed towards the exit of the school.

Just as we walked past another corridor pathway to Music I saw Kai leaning against the wall, he had been listening, I knew he had. It was a short eye contact before my legs took me away but I knew he was planning something. He was the only one to keep in touch with Hana after everything had happened; he was the only one that she’d still talk to afterwards. I really don’t understand their friendship bond but I know that she trusts him and only him.

Hana’s POV

I walked out of my classroom and became aware of something that was stuck to my shoe. I went next to the wall to get some support by leaning against it and I lifted my right foot up. Gum. I closed my eyes and mumbled a low curse. That’s all I needed now. I placed my foot back down and opened my eyes in disgust, why did it have to happen to me? Oh right. I was this generation’s unluckiest child, that’s why. I looked around to see if anyone was there but they already left, that’s good. I had to get to the bathroom and scrape this off somehow.       

The struggle you go through to actually walk with a gum stuck at the bottom of your shoe is huge. It got me so annoyed because with each  right step I took the sound of the gum unsticking from the floor was just there, it was also the fact that I had to pull harder on my foot so that I could walk that also got me mad. I went to the bathroom and spent a few minutes trying to get it off. Some still remained but I had to go home at some point.

When I got out I fixed my bag on my shoulder and started to walk again, with ease this time. I kept repeating what Daehyun had told me at lunch. I knew it took a great effort to stop crying right before lessons but I had my reason, if it were someone else I don’t think they would have handled the truth at all. I knew I couldn’t tell anyone about it. I had to keep it to myself. I had to keep everything secret; I couldn’t have Daehyun find out who I was.

 Just as I came out I felt someone walking beside me with the same pace. I stopped.

‘’What is it?’’ I asked as I looked at him with worried eyes. The fear that he could have known something about Daehyun was there, I didn’t want anybody to find out; I wanted to be the one to deal with it. Kai stopped right beside me and I made a tight fist. What if he was going to ask about it? But then again. What was the chance? But if he too were to say anything about Daehyun I wouldn’t be mad, it will only give me a good reason to push him away too like the others which was to my benefit.

 I realised that I started to take advantage of that, whenever a close friend had said anything about Daehyun or had given me a second thought about my decision to pick Daehyun to be my boyfriend I’d just react in the same way, I’d state that they’re just bad friends and very judgemental and simply disconnect from them. I couldn’t have anyone to know anything about me anymore, I needed to shut my relationship with Daehyun off from everyone else, and it was what I was aiming to do from the start. I did that to every single one of them but Kai. I didn’t want to lose my last friend, not just yet.

 ‘’I wanted you to know something’’ he said as I straightened up. He doesn’t normally start his conversations like that so it must have been something important. He looked me in the eye and I waited, I waited for something to be said. I did have a premonition that he might have been able to find something out about Daehyun and just feel like he needs to tell me about it and also tell me to stay away from him.

‘’She’s not really pregnant’’

I didn’t say anything. I seriously hadn’t expected that. It just allowed for more pressure to be applied on my shoulders, more guilt to be built up and more shame for everything that I did. I just felt tears wanting to come out which I immediately hid. I was so happy at his words. I knew he was never wrong when he said something, he knew the truth of what was going on around school and I always believed him. I really wanted to respond and show my true feelings but…

‘’It doesn’t matter now’’ I said.

He dragged his eyebrows downwards and his eyes pierced through me. I knew he couldn’t believe what I was saying. I continued to walk with the same blank face. ‘’You don’t have anything to say to that?’’ he asked whilst catching up to me. ‘’No.’’ I said trying to end the conversation. ‘’But you guys were’’- I cut him before he said it, before he reminded me all over again and before I started to break down again. I didn’t want to remember any of it, I didn’t want to remember all of those moments I shared with Zico because I knew I’d back down from my plan. ‘’Listen, he still cheated on me and I don’t think that telling me this would change anything at all’’ I said and carried on walking with my final decision.

He looked taken aback.

 I felt a grip on my wrist; he stopped me from walking and pulled me back. ‘’Just tell me why you suddenly shut everyone else off’’ he asked for the hundredth time this week. ‘’Because they’re not really friends if they keep telling me to love’’ I said.

Lie.

I just didn’t want them to know about Daehyun and about the file. I wanted to leave so I pulled on my arm and tried to break away from him. ‘’Then tell me why. Tell me why you picked him? Everyone is asking why. I want to know why. Why not me? Why not someone from Block B? I know very well that you don’t love him, so tell me why you’re with him.’’ He kept stressing the same idea all over again and I felt close to crying. He really cared for me, I could see that, his efforts are far too great to offer for someone like me, someone who isn’t even his girlfriend or a family member.

‘’ If I told you why... I would ruin everything’’ I said. He looked at me in silence, trying to make out what I was talking about. He wanted to know what it was. ‘’Look, just leave me alone, you seem to be like everyone else’’ I said. I had to do this; I had to make this decision on the spot even if it broke my heart all over again. I got his hand off of my wrist and left. I hated to do this; it really broke my soul to say it to everyone that had been close to me for all of this time. But I had to do it otherwise my efforts would be ruined; everything would just go to waste.

I got inside the bus and sat down. A mixture of gratefulness but also sadness had taken over me, slowly packing me up into a box full of sensitive material. I was glad that Hannah wasn’t actually pregnant, I was glad that I had completely shut everyone off but I was sad because I didn’t have anyone left, I no longer had that shoulder to lean on, it was really like I had reached a dead end. I was alone. Just like at the very beginning.

I had gotten home half an hour later and locked myself in my room again. I ignored my uncle or anyone that dared to knock on my door, my headphones had really been a great help to do that.

For the very first time I watched that the other room opposite to mines had been occupied as lights reflected into my room, so the first thing I did was pull the curtains. I wouldn’t be able to look at him and still expect to feel like a human being again because I was about to take away everything that he ever had, something very precious to him and I got to escape from all of this misery. A tear had burned across my cheek as I followed my plan out again in my head, it wasn’t that hard to imagine it and that’s what made me cry even harder.

I refused to eat dinner. If I had to get on with this then it had to be just me, I had to perfect the way tomorrow was going to like.

I woke up the next day with a paper stuck to my forehead. I had fallen asleep on the desk I had been working on last night. I sluggishly let myself get ready for the big day ahead, mentally and physically. I got my uniform on and left the day to pass on its will.

It wasn’t the fact that I felt alone and miserable all day that made me feel sad, it was the fact that I was to leave this behind. Each sneaky look at my friends in lessons was not enough; nothing was enough for me at this moment. The thing is. I really wanted to be somewhere else, next to a certain someone, hugging him and telling him one thing and one thing only. But none of that was possible now.

The day just slipped by and I fixed myself up a little to meet up with Daehyun after school. He met me outside the school gates in his flashy car. I got in and greeted him acting like everything was normal when it wasn’t, he knew it as well.

It was the day I was going to go along with his plan. I was going to act as bate to lure Zico in. It was the best thing I could do; this was the only way that I was going to help Daehyun kill Zico.

He brought me to his house and I spent the next couple of hours with him. He said that he felt sorry for involving me into all of this but he did say that I was the missing piece to his mission, the person to make everything work. The person that would finally make his revenge work.

He looked at the clock and my heart squeezed roughly. I just knew what the next