Fear

Jennie’s POV

As Lisa takes her time to close the gap in between both of our nervous lips and hearts, I’ve never felt so terrified in my entire life.

In that moment, the weight of the world, my worries, my insecurities and walls I’ve built over these years have completely crumbled and disintegrated into complete vulnerability. My heart was open to anything and everything Lisa could offer, whether it be heartbreak or forever, all I know is that she is someone I’m going to love with every inch of my being.

We shared a few soft and gentle kisses as the fireworks released themselves into the sky.

My surroundings faded into a sea of nothing while she rested her forehead against mine. With my arms resting around her waist, I gazed upon her beautiful face. I melt as I watch the edges of turn into the sweetest smile while they happily meet the curves of her cheeks that have turned into a light shade of pink. Our breathing synchronizes while we admire the audible Christmas music we hear in the distance and we stay in that moment for the rest of the firework display.

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Lisa's POV

I’ve never knew that my heart could hold this amount of admiration for one person. If you told me that I was going to experience this night months ago, I would’ve thought you were insane.

I cannot believe the girl I’m more than willing to love and care for is Jennie Kim.

Every single time she looks into my eyes, I see something.

I can see her world slow down, just as mine does for her.

I am created to love her. I’m created to show her how it feels to be loved.

After the sound of exploding fireworks stopped, we both lifted our eyes to look around us. Majority of the crowd has already left, most of the neon carnival signs have been turned off and all of the screams of sugar rushed children have disappeared. As I look to her again, we both giggle realizing we spent the entire half hour enjoying the presence of only each other.

I unhook my arms from around her neck and lower my hands to meet hers. The sight of her continuous blushing catered to mine, we giggled as she intertwined her right hand into mine and led me towards the exit of the carnival. As we walk, I say:

Lisa blushing: Thank you Jennie - this night was, amazing. Beyond amazing, I can’t even put words together I-

Jennie blushing: You don’t have to thank me love, I’m glad I got to spend this night with you. I wouldn’t of wanted this with anyone else.

*Lisa blushes even more*

The two girls approach the car, after they step inside, Jennie makes her way towards Lisa’s house. The car ride was mostly filled with background music and hand holding. There wasn’t much to be said, both of them we’re the happiest they’ve ever been in their entire life. About fifteen minutes later, Jennie’s car comes to a stop in front of Lisa’s modern house. But before Lisa exits the car, the two girls just sit hand in hand without looking at each other.

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Lisa’s POV

Jennie and I sat in her car for a few minutes, no words, no intimate gestures, just us holding hands.

Before I tried to speak, I heard a familiar song come onto the radio. As I reached and turned up the volume, the cinematic intro began. The first string of lyrics strummed each and everyone our emotions in a matter of seconds. I could feel the flood of our energy intensifying as the song went on. We didn’t dare to look at each other, the intensity of being near each other was strong enough to create a hurricane. We rested the back of our heads against the headrest and we both unknowingly closed our eyes.

(Song: The Paper Kites - Bloom)

“You fill my lungs with sweetness, and you fill my head with you. Can I be close to you?”

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Jennie’s POV

I couldn’t help but close my eyes as the song went on. It’s as if every word was written for this moment. I couldn’t help but over analyze what had just occurred at the carnival, my heart began to quicken as I thought about all of the possibilities with Lisa.

I was fearful of what was to come of this, I was fearful to know she now has the power to shatter me into thousands of pieces in an instant. I’m terrified to fall in love, but I know I can’t stop myself now. I began to panic, I was trembling with fear with thousands of questions and insecurities flooding into my mind. As the song progressed, I could feel Lisa’s eyes on me. I could feel her energy worrying about my current state. I needed to speak, I needed to tell her something so she knew what I was feeling.

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Lisa’s POV

As the song passed on with my eyes closed, I could hear Jennie’s breathing. Her delicate hand started to tighten around mine causing me to gently open my eyes. I shifted my head over to Jennie’s profile and quickly noticed a saddened expression on her face.

I didn’t say a word, I was worried. I was worried she didn’t feel the same way, I was worried her heart had changed during the car ride home.

But then, I watched her flutter her heavy eyes open. Jennie’s eyes were starting to fill up with tears. I couldn’t bare to speak as she turned her eyes towards mine.

I took my open hand and lifted it towards her cheek to wipe away her tears.

After I kept my worried palm against her cheek, I began to retreat my hand back but she suddenly stopped me and held her open hand over mine. She lifts her gaze into mine once more and speaks:

Jennie: Lisa… I’m scared..

With my hand still against her cheek, she closes her eyes again as tears escaped down her face.

Jennie: Please….- please don’t hurt me.

Lisa gently says: baby.... -  I’m not going to hurt you. I won’t ever - ever hurt you. Understand that okay? I won’t ever hurt you Jennie.

As I spoke those words, Jennie had opened her eyes again. She slowly nodded her head as I repeated my words over and over again to let her know that I would never hurt her. Hurting Jennie was not option for me. I longed to care, protect and love her with every part of my soul. I know she’s never allowed herself to fall in love before, but I know as time goes on she’ll fully trust me with her heart. I just need to make sure she knows.

Jennie’s tears slowly stopped and we both fully embraced this moment together once again. I released my seatbelt, and leaned over to kiss her forehead. I slowly backed far enough so we were face to face, she then pressed her forehead against mine and rested for a few moments before she closed the innocent gap between us.

We sighed together as we released our interlocked lips. After I stared into her eyes once again, I took both of her hands and brought them closer to my face. Before I said goodbye for the night, I quickly and gently laid multiple kisses onto her knuckles. I filled every gentle kiss with words of reassurance to let her know that I, Lisa Manoban, would never in my entire life hurt Jennie Kim.

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