Wendy was left in a daze the moment they parted. Irene was also staring at her wide-eyed, but Wendy saw a tinge of fear. They probably would have stayed like that for a few more minutes if they didn’t hear the light tapping on glass. Their gaze went to the tall windows of her father’s study and saw the excited faces of their friends and family members, mouthing ‘Happy New Year’ to them.

It didn’t seem like they saw what happened between them and Wendy decided it was for the best.

The ride home was fairly quiet and Wendy simply laughed it off when Irene’s mother pointed out the awkwardness in the air, saying that they were probably just tired. Wendy kept her eyes on the road even though she was aware Irene was studying her from the passenger’s seat.

Irene retired to their shared bedroom shortly after arriving. Her mother and sister had the same idea but Wendy chose to stay in the living room instead, left alone with her thoughts, replaying the kiss over and over in her head.

She knew she only had to follow Irene to their bedroom to get a clear explanation as to why the other girl did something outside the realm of friendship or shared custody-ship or whatever the hell they are, but Wendy wasn’t ready to hear it.

It is unfair to have to deal with the situation when she has so much to worry about. It is even more unfair that Wendy is so easily swayed, and now feelings and emotions she tried so hard to control, bury underneath, are now out in the open for her to deal with once more.

She was honestly fine with it. Living as a family without the complications of a real relationship with someone. It’s the number one cause of broken families anyway. No form of research is needed to know that. She was fine lying to herself, ignoring how Irene gave her comfort without even uttering a word, or how Irene just seemed to glow whenever she smiled. How her laughter made her heart flutter without fail, or how genuinely happy she looked at the thought of starting a family with her, even if it wasn’t in the way Wendy would have wanted.

She didn’t want to hope that maybe, Irene wanted that for them too.

“Can’t sleep?” She heard a voice coming from the doorway, interrupting her thoughts.

Mrs. Bae smiled as she approached her and Wendy scooted a little to the other side of the couch so the middle-aged woman can sit comfortably next to her.

“I’m usually like this.” Wendy grinned awkwardly, which was true at least.

“Something on your mind?” She asked, and Wendy nodded slowly. “Could it perhaps be what I saw at your parents’ house?  You didn’t think those windows were tinted, did you?”

Wendy froze, already about to come up with a string of excuses, but Mrs. Bae merely gave her arm a gentle squeeze and let out a tiny chuckle which did not calm Wendy in the slightest.

“I’m pretty sure I’m the only who saw you, seeing as no one was screaming about it earlier, and I won’t tell anyone yet if you don’t want me to.” Wendy finally relaxed at that. “I don’t understand why you want to keep it a secret. It’s not like anyone would judge you for it. In fact, I’m sure you know we’ve all been waiting.”

“I’m aware…of that,” Wendy began, thinking about their friends. “But that’s actually the first time it ever happened.”

“Oh.” Mrs. Bae exclaimed, blinking in surprise. “And how do you feel about it?”

Wendy sighed. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Do you like her at least?”

“Yes, of course!” Wendy answered with certainty, though with the way the woman was looking at her, it was as if she already knew and just wanted confirmation. “Liking her isn’t really the problem…”

“You don’t like her in that way?”

“It’s not that either, it’s just…there are consequences and I’m not even sure if she likes me in that way.” Wendy could tell she wanted her to elaborate, so she continued. “I don’t know if I’m just not reading it right, but I can’t be sure about it. She’s the one who kissed me but still, if we’re wrong about this and it just messes up our relationship, it’ll be bad not just for us but also for Hyemi. I mean what if she's not thinking straight and she doesn't really understand why she did that. Does that make sense?”

Mrs. Bae leaned back on the couch and hummed in thought as Wendy waited for her response.

“You know, I just realized I've never met any of Irene’s past girlfriends before and you're the first. I know it's not technically the same, but I think she still would have introduced you to us.” Wendy stared at her, confused as to why the woman was telling her this. “I know my daughter.” She smiled at her. “She wouldn’t do anything she’s not sure of or didn’t really want. That’s how she decided to carry a baby for 9 months. So if she took that first step, she really cares about you.” Mrs. Bae covered Wendy’s hand with hers. “Be patient with her. Give her a chance. If not for her or for Hyemi, then for yourself. I can tell you care about her too and that you want this.”

Wendy leaned against the couch as well, letting her words sink in. She smiled and turned to the woman next to her. “Am I that obvious?”

“To anyone with eyes, yes.”

“Great.”

 

⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼

 

She didn’t have to talk to Irene much after that night because Mrs. Bae and Irene’s sister spent as much time as they could with her before it was time to go back to South Korea. Wendy was thankful for it because it gave her time to think and Irene didn’t push.

On the morning of their last day, she found Irene alone in the living room. Her mother and sister probably slept in. Before Irene could say anything, she heard someone going down the stairs and Wendy took this as a chance to escape while the other girl was distracted.

She found herself visiting the bakeshop. Her first one, and is probably the one she visits the most. She walked around aimlessly, just looking around the store. She somehow ended up grabbing a stool and sitting at the long counter.

“Oi, if you're just going to mope here I rather you just go back to the very pregnant lady who I'm sure needs you more. I don't care if you own the place, but I take pride in running it when you're being a lazy arse,” said a bespectacled woman with short hair, dropping a stack of envelopes in front of her.

Wendy gave the manager a tired smile. "And you're doing a terrific job, Minjin. Just wonderful." She let her head drop on the wooden counter, her cheek resting on its smooth surface.

"Problem with the missus?"

Wendy's head shot up instantly. “She's not my wife! Why does everyone keep saying that!?”

Minjin let out a hearty laugh. “A joke. Everyone here knows that. A bit defensive there, love.”

“Try hearing it from just about everyone and having to give a 10-minute explanation to make them believe you,” Wendy groaned.

"You do look completely knackered though. You really ought to get some rest."

“That’s the problem. I can’t.”

Wendy had been avoiding Irene as much as she could while still taking care of her when she’s awake. But if she slept in a different room or even on the couch, that would look even more awkward and would only raise more questions.

“What’s the problem, really?”

Wendy looked up at the older woman, wondering if she should tell her. It was the best option she had. Minjin, though like a second family to her, will give her honest opinions about it and won't be as optimistic as Seulgi is. And as much as she appreciated Mrs. Bae’s advice it’s no different than asking Seulgi.

“What if there is something I want to do, but there are a lot of things stopping me from doing it and I don’t know if it’s worth the risk?”

“Something happened with Irene and you want to know if it’s okay to date her but you reckon it’s more trouble than it's worth.”

Wendy wondered if she’s just really close to her friends or she’s practically an open book. She prayed it was the former because Christ, is it that bad?

“Well there’s no use in denying it, so what do you think?”

“Bollocks.”

“Something a little more helpful would be great” said Wendy with a tight-lipped smile.

“Look, the only reason there’s a long line of people waiting for you to tie the knot is because we all see it. Not because Irene’s carrying your baby.”

“Well you’re no help at all.” Wendy grumbled. “I’ve heard all of that before.”

“Might do you some good if you actually start listening.” Minjin rolled her eyes, and Wendy frowned.

“I just can’t shake the feeling that we’re going to mess up somehow.”

“Alright, put it this way. Love's a nasty business, even messier when you're about to have a baby. From that point on, you can't just walk out when you feel like it. The baby ought to grow up with both her mums around, I know, and I wager that's what both of you are afraid of but you should still be happy. You can't really tell someone to stop feeling, now can you? You'd know that. You can't do it yourself.”

"I don't know, I'm—"

"She really does like you. I hope you actually know that by now."

It only hit Wendy then that that was also something she worried about more than she claimed. She really didn't. Or refused to see it. She had always been the type to need reassurance. Because she wasn't confident about making assumptions about it herself.

"Yeah that's what her mom said." And probably 20 other people. Wendy tucked her fists under her chin, her elbows on the counter.

"You already talked to someone about this and you're still moping here?" said Minjin with exasperation.

Wendy bit her lip. “You really think I should?”

“The world won’t end if it doesn’t work. You still ought to try. You can even go slow if you want to.”

“Slow?”

“Yeah. Go out, talk, all that stuff you’ve been doing, but a bit different of course. You do it knowing you fancy each other.”

“That’s—I…I’ll think about it.” Wendy sighed. “Thanks.”

“Right, now bugger off. Some of us are actually busy here.” Minjin flicked her hand in a shooing gesture, making Wendy laugh.

“You really are a gem, Minjin. I really should give you another raise.”

“Just fire Toby. He's a bleeding idiot.”

Wendy winced, glancing at the blonde boy holding a tray full of dishes and a glass that was threatening to fall. Wendy would usually try to train her staff, but the boy's hopeless and too arrogant to listen.

“Deal, but you do it.”

“That kid of yours will have you wrapped around her little finger. Your wife too.”

“SHE'S NOT MY—” But Minjin had already left before she could finish.

 

⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼

 

She insisted on driving Mrs. Bae and Irene’s sister to the airport that night and when she returned home, she knew Irene was already in their bedroom. She felt nervous all of a sudden, and Wendy had to gather all her courage before stepping inside.

In the dimly lit room, with the moonlight streaming in from the windows, Wendy could see Irene on their bed with her back turned to her, which wasn’t really anything out of the ordinary. After freshening up, she carefully slipped under the covers next to her, all the while watching her.

“We could pretend like you don’t know I’m awake like how you’ve been pretending I’m just some pregnant woman you’re taking care of for the past few days or we can finally talk about it.” Irene said after a few minutes, making Wendy jump a little in surprise.

Wendy saw the silhouette of Irene’s arm moving and reaching for something on the bedside table and the room was suddenly illuminated by the lamp next to her.

Irene turned to her side and stared up at her with an arched brow, waiting for her to speak.

“I’m guessing you’re waiting for my reaction to that thing the other day.” Wendy pursed her lips.

“That would be nice, thanks. Preferably before our daughter is born.” Wendy forgot about Irene’s temper, and she could see maybe a hint of frustration then. “Look, if you’re going to reject me just do it quickly and say so. I swear I won’t get mad.”

Wendy flinched at her words and Irene visibly softened after seeing her expression. She sat up and Wendy moved to help her out of habit and this seemed to have made Irene feel guiltier. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me and I didn’t mean it that way. You didn’t deserve that. I just want to know how you feel about it at least.”

“I’m sorry too,” said Wendy, unable to look her in the eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you wait, you just caught me by surprise, that’s all,”

“Wendy,” She felt Irene lift her head and caress her cheek. “Wendy, I mean it. I won’t get mad if you don’t want this. You can ignore it and pretend it was just like Christmas Eve.”

“What if I do and that’s what scares me?”

Irene’s eyes widened and Wendy saw a smile tugging at the corners of . Wendy couldn’t help but smile back.

“Then…then we’ll…okay I’m sorry, I haven’t really thought this through and only got to the part where you admit you have feelings for me too or you reject me and I pretend like I’m not miserable for a few months.”

Wendy laughed and held the hand that was still cupping her cheek. She brought it up to her lips and kissed the back of it. “How about we start slow?”

“Slow is fine, slow is great.” Irene chuckled, and Wendy was thrilled to see genuine happiness shining in her eyes.

“I just really don’t want to ruin this.” Wendy said softly. “Us.”

Irene nodded her head slowly. “I know that, and I’m worried too. Wendy, I…I don’t really know how to say it properly but I do know that I care about you. A lot.” Wendy felt all the sincerity she needed in her voice but her eyes still spoke volumes. “So let’s just… let’s just give this a shot, okay? If it doesn’t work, then let’s agree that we’ll forget about it, go back to how we were a few days ago, and continue being good friends. For Hyemi.”

“Are you sure about this?” Wendy had to ask.

“I can’t tell you if I’m sure where this is headed, but what I am sure of is that I want to find out. I think it’ll be worth it.”

She forcefully shoved all of her worries to the back of her mind and just focused on the present. With Irene giving her all of her attention, nervously waiting for her response.

“Alright then. For Hyemi.” Wendy repeated after a few moments, smiling once more.

Irene beamed at her. “Is that a yes?”

Wendy leaned in and pressed her lips against Irene’s, remembering how it felt the first time. Wendy wondered if she had the same dazed expression Irene had now when she broke away.

Wendy grinned. “Good enough answer for you?”

“Not really, I think you need to do it again.

“Slow, remember?” She teased.

“I can wait a few minutes.”

Wendy let out a laugh out of pure joy and the wave of affection she felt for the girl next to her.

 

⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼

 

The months that followed were pure bliss.

…is what Wendy wanted to say.

But she kind of expected it? It wasn't bad, but it just wasn't what Wendy expected at the early stages of a relationship with someone. But there really isn't much you can do when you're in the last few months of your pregnancy. Besides, they've long accepted things were never going to be normal for them.

And still, the moments she had with Irene just became all the more special to her. Especially because of Hyemi.

There was just something about knowing that a part of you is growing inside a person special to you. She didn’t know if it made her cherish Irene or Hyemi more, but probably both. She was at a place that most people wanted for themselves and she has never felt more thankful for anything.

It was also fun pretending like nothing was going on between them in front of their friends.

They both agreed to keep it a secret until they were ready, and Irene and Wendy were both surprised that none of them had caught on, especially their respective best friends who were supposed to notice everything about them. They figured that they were already aware that they had feelings for each other anyway, and didn’t think there was anything suspicious every time they tried to deny it.

It was even more fun teasing Joy. They could practically hear the gears of her brain turning every time she watched them. It was almost like an inside joke between them. Joy knew they were messing with her, even though she was still trying to figure out how, so she got her revenge by tipping Wendy about something.

It’s probably a bad idea to assist the woman you just started dating or even just the person you like, to bathe, but Wendy isn't some sick bastard who'll see it as anything other than helping the mother of her child enjoy her relaxing and well-deserved time in the tub, which she probably has been missing for months now. Irene was hesitant of course, but Wendy insisted, even though she was a nervous wreck the first time she accompanied her. It became a regular thing for them, and Wendy became less and less of a bumbling idiot the more it happened.

A week after Wendy’s birthday, they did their daily routine with Irene soaking in the water for half an hour while Wendy sat on the corner of the bathtub, usually in silence, waiting for Irene to finish.

“It’s really amazing watching it grow right before my eyes.”  Wendy almost turned to look, knowing that Irene was referring to her bump, but she managed to control herself just in time. “Sometimes I forget, but when I look at it again I remember how it was in the first few months.” She heard her giggle. “It’s incredible.”

“It really is.” Wendy grinned, bowing her head. Her thoughts went to her first meeting with Irene. It really was incredible. And looking back, it doesn’t even seem like it had been that long already.

“I covered myself with a cloth. You can look if you want.” She heard Irene say, and Wendy stiffened, not sure if she should. But her curiosity won, and she turned her head.

She still saw the washcloths that covered the parts that needed to be covered, but all she could focus on was the bump. She stood and kneeled in front of it, staring at in awe.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at it.” Wendy chuckled, her fingers grazing the milky white skin. She glanced up at Irene, noticing her reddening cheeks. She cleared and smiled at her before looking up at the cream bathroom walls once more.

“Well you need to, because—”

Wendy heard Irene gasp and her eyes were immediately on her. Her brow creased with puzzlement.

“W-water...” Irene muttered shakily.

“Too hot?” Wendy dipped her hand in the tub.

Irene grabbed her arm and said the most terrifying sentence Wendy has ever heard in her entire life.

“My water just broke.”

 

 

---

I am so sorry! I am back from the dead but feel free to stone me for a while. But here it is! I must say, I found the sea of 'THEY KISSSED' incredibly amusing. It makes me happy seeing all of your reactions to it lol. So, someone's coming. Ohohoho 

Anyway! As always, thank you guys for all the wonderful comments and letting me know what you guys thought about it. Welcome new readers! I hope you continue to enjoy the next chapters! And thank you for the upvotes as well. It means a lot! See you in the next one! (Which would hopefully be posted soon)

By the way, what is this 'angst' you speak of?