Chapter 9

Denial is a funny thing.

And the great lengths most people go to to do it is even funnier.

For example, five days ago, Irene would have been glued to Wendy the moment she arrived from work but seeing as she almost ruined a perfectly wonderful platonic relationship, she even contemplated calling Seulgi to help her instead. Kang Seulgi, the girl who represented all of Irene’s fears. That Kang Seulgi.

But since assembling a child’s crib probably ought to be done by the parents and Wendy would probably sulk for 3 years if she built the crib she ordered for her daughter with another woman, she had no choice but to deal with the consequences.

That being an awkward afternoon with Wendy, surrounded by various pieces of wood in different sizes, while the girl remained blissfully unaware of Irene’s inner turmoil as she sat on the floor and happily scanned the large paper on her lap.

“Don’t you need rest? You did come home straight from work.” Irene pointed out. Since it’s the holidays and most people wanted to stuff their faces with sweets, Wendy was actually busy (for once).

“I had lunch with Seulgi. She stopped by the shop since she knew I’d be hungry by then.” Wendy was completely oblivious to how her words had slightly dampened Irene’s mood. “We should finish this today. We’re not even halfway done. Wait, is that the time?” Wendy’s eyes widened, staring up at the clock hanging on the wall.

“Yeah, we’ve been here for almost two and a half hours.” Irene’s back was killing her but she decided this would be her last activity before she waved her white flag and just stayed in bed until she gave birth (Even though she technically just sat there while Wendy did everything). Plus, she wanted to see what the god-awful crib Wendy ordered looked like.

“But it’ll still take at least another two hours,” Wendy rubbed her chin in thought. “I didn’t know it would be this hard.”

“Well you did get a complicated one with all these drawers and ridiculous tufted panel for your ‘little princess’,” said Irene, inspecting a handle.

“Our little princess, and I like challenges so I will finish this today, thank you very much.” Wendy puffed out her chest.

“If you say so.” Irene sighed, leaning back on the chair.

“If you’re tired, just lie down for a bit.” Wendy flashed a smile. It reminded her of the smiles the girl has been giving her the past week, which Irene knew was also an assurance that she was still okay with the unspoken agreement to forget what happened or almost happened on Christmas Eve. Irene didn’t know if she should be thankful or concerned.

“No it’s fine, I’ll stay,” said Irene, to which Wendy responded with a slight nod of her head before focusing on the instructions on her lap once more.

Irene watched Wendy silently for nearly an hour and a half, only giving one-word replies to Wendy’s questions every now and then.

Truthfully, Irene already had a long apology prepared (and in different versions), but every time she attempted to speak, it dies in . Acknowledging the fact that there may be something there is hard enough as it is, but acknowledging the fact that your friends are right about seeing it from the start and that you were just too stubborn to realize it is harder. Mostly because it’ll hurt her pride too.

“Say it.”

Irene was pulled out of her thoughts. “What?”

“Say it, I’m brilliant.” Wendy smiled smugly with her hands on her hips, admiring the finished crib in front of her.

“Well,” Irene blinked, letting a tentative hand touch the headboard. “I…guess it doesn’t look as bad as how I pictured it.”

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“It looks just as bad as how you described it.”

Joy grimaced as she stared at the obnoxiously large crib in their bedroom.

“The changing station’s kind of a nice touc—”

“How could you let her buy this? Look at it! It might as well have posts, curtains and carriage wheels!”

“I actually thought you’d appreciate it,” Irene shrugged.

“I’d like to think that even at that age I already have great taste and will cry at the thought of sleeping in this thing.”

“Oh just get used to it.” Irene rolled her eyes. “Wendy loves it and she’s so pleased with herself I just couldn’t bring myself to say anything.”

“What you mean is you’re whipped.”

“Excuse me?”

“Anyway, how’s my 7thfavourite person in the world?” Joy grinned, pulling a chair next to hers with her back facing the crib.

“I’m 7th now? Last I checked I was 8th. I’m flattered,” Irene said monotonously.

“My cousin’s being an right now so you moved up a rank.”

“How fortunate.”

Joy ignored her sarcasm. “But really, how are you?”

How is she? She has to deal with unwanted feelings for the other mother of her child with whom she has never had any relationship with prior to the conception of said child and starting one could potentially ruin whatever they had at the moment which would also endanger a harmonious atmosphere in the house they intended to raise their child in but other than that, she was just dandy.

“Fine, I suppose" she answered instead. "Well a lot of things are harder now,”

“Like?”

“Well, bathing, for one, is extremely difficult now.”

“Have you tried asking Wendy to assist you?”

“Joy!” she almost screamed in horror, frantically looking around to see if anyone heard her even though they’re clearly alone in the house.

“What? You know she would.”

The scary part wasn't asking Wendy. The scary part was that Joy was right, and Wendy would gladly offer to help.

“That’s out of the question. At the moment, anyway,” she whispered the last part, cheeks reddening.

Joy raised a brow. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Nothing,” she quickly responded, but the defensiveness in her tone did not go unnoticed.

“Alright, do you want some free advice from this guidance counselor?”

“No, but you’re going to give it anyway.” She rolled her eyes.

“Too right you are.” Joy said with a sarcastic smile. “Pluck up the courage to get yourself out of that little bubble you’ve been living in and do something.”

“And why don’t you take your own advice?” She countered.

“I’m actually working on it, unlike you. It’s not my problem the person is too much of an idiot to notice. You, on the other hand, can at least drop a hint or something. Maybe in a month you can finally put yourselves and us out of misery.”

“I’m sorry, how are we making you miserable exactly?”

“Those sad puppy eyes you make when you think no one’s looking. It’s pathetic!” said Joy with disgust. “Be glad I’m not meddling in your still non-existent relationship because let me tell you, if it reaches the point where I’m fed up with your nonsense I’m setting you two up officially.”

“You mean you haven’t started yet?” Irene glared, remembering Christmas Eve.

“That was for someone else and it’s just a happy coincidence that another couple would benefit from it,” Joy said innocently, but her sly smile ruined it.

“Well just…let me handle it.” Irene frowned. “I want to do this on my own terms and I’m just not ready yet.”

“Come on, you and I both know this is only about your past relationships. I keep telling you your exes demanded too much and it wasn’t your fault.”

“Still…they could be right. Maybe not entirely, but they might have a point.”

Joy huffed out. “Listen to me, there’s nothing wrong with you. If they couldn’t accept you the way you are now that’s their problem, alright?”

Irene stayed silent for a few moments before nodding her head slowly.

“That’s better.” Joy grinned. “Now do us all a favour and follow my advice because I for one, don’t plan on having the same conversation with you until I die of old age.”

⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼

It’s still much too early to be sure of anything, Irene decided.

Maybe it’s the pregnancy giving her such thoughts or maybe she just wanted a normal life for Hyemi and this was a way to fix the messed up situation they ended up in.

Or, maybe it was just her conjuring up all these excuses to ignore the real problem which she already admitted to herself a long time ago.

But still, no one in their right minds can make rational decisions in this state.

Irene stared at her reflection in the mirror.

While everyone told her she had that certain glow because of the pregnancy, she couldn't help but feel unattractive.

She kept seeing circles under her eyes that weren't there or problems with her skin and face. She was, of course, being ridiculous, and was told that plenty of times, but she couldn't help it. Hormones, she figured.

She sighed and grabbed her face, stretching her cheeks with a frown. From the corner of her eye, she saw Wendy leaning against the doorframe, watching her with a familiar smile.

“What?” she asked, looking at her through the mirror.

“Nothing” Wendy answered, but Irene knew.

People tell Irene she's beautiful and she believes it. But when Wendy looks at her, she feels it.

Irene cleared and started brushing her hair. “Shouldn’t you be at work? Minjin’s probably dying at the store.”

“I’ll give her a raise. I feel bad about all the time I had to spend away from you because of how busy we are during the holidays,” said Wendy as she removed her coat.

Irene chuckled. “It’s only been 5 days.”

“Yeah, but I missed you two just the same.” Irene saw Wendy’s cheeky smile through the mirror. The warm fuzzy feeling spread through her again before she could stop herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt that way. If she ever felt it at all.

Irene has had a total of two relationships. Both, she never really considered as anything serious and both ended because of her.

She has never been ashamed of her reserved personality, but she had some regrets. Like how it’s often mistaken for her not putting much effort in making a relationship work. Though she didn’t understand it at first, she acknowledged it eventually when she realized she had no intention to stop them from leaving. After that, she just didn’t bother trying.

Irene wasn’t the type to express herself through words and she wasn’t overly thoughtful. She didn’t exude warmth, she sought it. While she didn’t have a doubt in her mind that she would be an adequate parent, the same could not be said for her as a significant other.

For years, she was content being alone. Not happy, but content. She had long accepted that it would be difficult for her to change.

Meeting someone that made her wish she could terrified her.

⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼

On the 30th, Irene received a rude awakening in the form of her mother’s face (her mother who is supposed to be in South Korea) hovering over hers at 7 AM in the morning. Needless to say, Irene screamed bloody murder.

“Ah really, Joohyun. You’re acting like you saw a ghost.” The woman said good-naturedly, helping her sit up on the bed. “Oh you’ve grown so much!” She said in delight, ignoring the fact that Irene was still staring at her with a look of pure terror. The woman did notice Hyemi's crib, however. "...what on earth?".

“Well if you went to bed knowing someone’s 5,000 miles away from you, you’re not really expecting their face to be the first thing you see when you wake up.” Irene held a hand to her chest to calm herself. She saw a guilty-looking Wendy poking her head through the doorway.

“I tried to convince her to just let you sleep but she said she missed you a lot and that you won’t mind…” she said softly.

“Did you know?” Irene asked incredulously.

“No! No, of course not! She showed up about 30 minutes ago with your sister.”

Irene’s eyes bugged out of her head. “My sister’s here!?”

Just as she said this, another head popped up from behind Wendy.

“Hello, big sister.” The 20-year-old beamed at her.

“What is happening…” Irene held her face in her hands, suddenly feeling lightheaded.

“It’s called a surprise visit, my dear daughter. Honestly sometimes I wonder if you’re older than I am.”

Irene found herself at the dining area minutes later with her mother and sister as Wendy prepared breakfast for them.

“You could have called at least.” Irene muttered.

“I did tell you I was going to visit you soon. Your sister thought it would be more fun to do it this way.” Her mother wasn’t even looking at her and was just smiling as she watched Wendy work in the kitchen.

“Why am I not surprised that this is your idea?” Irene addressed her sister who was sitting on her right.

“She agreed though.” Her sister shrugged.

“Mom, seriously, why the sudden visit?”

“Well I wanted to see how you were doing,” Irene stared at her pointedly. “Fine, I also wanted to meet Wendy.”

“You couldn’t have done it without scaring the poor girl? And could you please stop staring at her. She might catch you and I’m sure she’s already nervous enough as it is.”

“She took it a lot better than you did. I have to say, she is quite charming.” The middle-aged woman smiled, still watching Wendy. “Well-mannered, funny, and she’s cute as a button. Oh I wish you introduced us sooner.”

Irene raised a brow. “Through a phone call?”

“No, what is that thing on the computer that lets you talk through a video? Scape?”

“It’s Skype, mom, and more people use FaceTime now.” she explained with a sigh. “And you said I was old.”

“Well Skype, Faces time or whatever you call it, my point is we could have welcomed her into the family sooner. Look at her. You know, you can really tell when someone’s great at cooking, even just by watching them. And didn’t you say she baked?” She sighed dreamily. “How lovely would it be to have a daughter like her? Or a daughter-in-law?” Irene’s mother turned to her as she said the last part, hands clasped together in front of her.

Irene rolled her eyes at her mother’s ‘subtlety’. She groaned inwardly at the thought of another addition to the never-ending list of people who are convinced she and Wendy are in a happy and loving relationship with a baby on the way or think they should be in a happy and loving relationship especially with a baby on the way.

She suddenly missed her father, who she trusted to act as a normal parent. Well a crazy, overprotective father, but it's still marginally better.

“Mom, I am begging you, please keep your thoughts to yourself— especially those that concern Wendy.”

“Good luck with that, that’s all she talked about on the way here.” Her sister snorted.

“I heard you two are already sleeping in the same bed.” Her mother beamed at her. “What’s that like for you?”

“Mom!” She stared at her mother in shock. The woman has never inquired about such things in Irene’s life, knowing it was private. But more importantly, “Who told you that!?”

Her mother and sister shared a look, but the former quickly recovered. “Who said I heard about it? I just meant I saw the other side of the bed and it looked like someone had slept there.”

A name popped into Irene’s head and she had half a mind to call her at 7 AM in the morning and scream her head off.

Irene inhaled deeply. “Mom, we sleep in the same bed because it’s more convenient and she can take care of me better.”

“Oh of course, of course, convenience and safety.” Her mother kept nodding her head with a smile on her face but Irene could practically see her winking at her.

Irene wondered what she preferred more. Her mother being a typical South Korean woman who becomes the devil reincarnate at the thought of having a daughter-in-law, or this overly enthusiastic parent who’s one loose screw short of pushing them towards a church to get married.

She didn’t have time to decide because Wendy already emerged from the kitchen with their food.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it even if I couldn’t prepare much. But I’d gladly cook lunch for you too.” Wendy straightened her pyjamas nervously as she sat next to Irene.

“Nonsense.” Irene’s mother let out a hearty laugh. “I don’t want to impose, but if you insist I’m sure whatever you decide to make for us will be wonderful.”

Wendy grinned shyly and bowed her head, thanking the woman in Korean.

“So how long are you planning on staying, mom?” Irene asked, not wanting to sound rude, but also not intending to show anything that could be taken as her hoping they stay longer than three days because she could already imagine all the ways her mother could torment her, even if it was unintentional.

“Perhaps until the 2nd?” Irene cheered mentally. “What were you two planning on doing for New Year’s Eve?”

Irene froze, not liking where the discussion was surely headed.

“Oh we’re actually going to my parents’ house to celebrate it. Joy, Yeri and my best friend Seulgi are also coming. Would you like to come with us?” Wendy asked with a smile.

Her mother’s eyes lit up. “We’re going to see your parents then? How exciting! I’d love to meet them!”

Seulgi, Joy, Yeri, her mother, her sister, Wendy’s father. Practically an entire club of people who want them together all gathered in one place.

Irene wanted to cry.

⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼⇼

While not as quiet as her father, Irene’s mother was also awkward with strangers to an extent but she spent the entire ride chatting with Wendy, even though Irene reminded her repeatedly to let the driver concentrate on the road (Irene was also guilty of this, but her mother didn’t need to know that).

Irene was actually relieved when they arrived, wanting to escape from her mother.

Rather than being nervous about seeing Wendy’s parents again, she was more concerned with her friends and family meeting them for the first time. Especially when said friends and family can’t be trusted to behave even for one night.

Both Wendy and Seulgi were greeted with warm hugs when they entered. Irene tried to bow in front of the couple out of habit but received a side hug from Mrs. Shon and a handshake from Mr. Shon instead. After greeting Joy and Yeri, Irene held her breath when Wendy finally introduced her mother and sister to her parents.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Her mother extended a hand to Mr. Shon who shook it, giving her a warm smile.

“Likewise. I’m glad you decided to come so we could finally meet. After all, we are family now, right?” He grinned.

“I couldn’t agree more,” her mother replied.

“Please, come in.” Mrs. Shon smiled and led them inside.

It’s going to be a long night, Irene decided.

And a long night it is indeed.

Irene stayed silent as she watched their friends and families talk and get to know one another, praying to whatever god that was listening that the night ends with her dignity intact. She couldn’t even hold Wendy’s hand for comfort because if someone notices, it will only add fuel to the fire.

By the time her mother had brought up Hyemi and what a wonderful mother Wendy will be, Irene was already staring at a bottle of red wine longingly even though she was pregnant and she loathed alcohol.

Irene didn't need to be reminded what she already knew. She didn't need a room full of people to convince her. What she needed is a rational person to tell her it's going to be a stupid mistake. She was hoping that would be Wendy's mother, but Mrs. Shon just laughed along with them. She felt betrayed.

When they finished their meals, Irene almost stood up from her seat and clapped.

Since Irene couldn't be exposed to smoke (and Irene normally hated anything that explodes and produces smoke anyway) they watched the fireworks from Wendy's father's study which had tall glass windows that gave them a great view of the backyard where their friends and families were.

“Tired?” Wendy asked with a smile, lifting Irene's legs and putting them up on the couch which she had moved to face the backyard.

“Just my legs. Tell your parents their house is too damn big.” Irene groaned.

Wendy chuckled. “You would have liked our old house. I think it’s smaller than your parents’.”

“Anything that keeps me from walking more than 30 feet to go somewhere sounds like a lovely place to live in.”

“How about we just get you a wheelchair?” Irene gave her an icy stare. “Kidding. Should I give you a massage?”

Irene was tempted because Wendy's hands worked wonders but she figured Wendy deserved to rest too and shook her head.

“Just sit here next to me.”

Wendy obeyed her request and automatically wrapped an arm around her while she leaned against her.

“What do you suppose they’re discussing?” Wendy whispered, gesturing towards the backyard where her mother, her sister and Joy were talking. Thankfully Mr. Shon was busy setting up the fireworks with Seulgi and Mrs. Shon was talking to Yeri so the three wouldn’t participate in whatever the three were plotting. After seeing them, Irene was already sure the three had been contacting each other even before her mother's surprise visit.

“Our wedding dresses, probably.” Irene snorted.

“I wouldn’t put it past them.” They both laughed.

Irene reached over and grabbed Wendy’s phone. She turned it on and looked at the lit screen. “It’s almost midnight.”

“Yeah it is.” Wendy took it from her hand and placed it next to her lap. “Anything you're thankful for this year? Other than an awesome co-parent?” She grinned.

“I should keep you from seeing Joy. The huge ego doesn’t suit you.” Irene shook her head. “A lot, but I can think of some I'm not thankful for.”

“Alright.” Wendy chuckled. “Anything you're not thankful for this year.”

“Stretch marks.”

Wendy laughed at that. “Sorry.”

“Idiot, it's not like it's your fault.” Irene hit her playfully. “Besides, this is nothing. It's definitely worth it.” She smiled at her large bump.

“Well, I'm thankful for a year full of surprises. Good ones.” Wendy beamed at her. “I'm going to have a beautiful daughter soon, and…I'm thankful for you.”

Irene's breath hitched at how Wendy was gazing at her, eyes full of warmth and affection. Slowly, Irene leaned closer.

“10!”

“9!”

“8!”

“7!”

She could barely hear the voices from outside. All she could focus on was Wendy, and how close her face was to hers. She lifted a hand to it, tracing it with her fingertips. She could see how the other girl’s lips trembled with anticipation and fear, wondering what Irene would do next. Or if she would go through with it.

“6!”

“5!”

“4!”

“3!”

Her heart was racing. Irene was screaming at herself in her head, sounding off alarms. She desperately needed that rational person to come and pull her away. A hundred reasons why she should stop herself came to mind but she knew it was useless at that point.

“2!”

“1!”

Irene's hand s around Wendy's head and brought it down to hers. Their lips met.

“Happy New Year!”

I am back and some of you might want to strangle me already (I'm soooorry) But anyway, I'm so glad you enjoyed the last two updates and I hope you will continue to enjoy the next chapters. It's like almost a month late but Happy New Year! [Support Red Velvet. #ROOKIE]

@maomaosforehead Yes, I do. Hello