"I wish I could explain things better. Maybe not now. Maybe in the future—"
"And maybe it won't matter anymore, Yong."
"Whee."
"Just leave."

I punched the air as the image of that conversation flashed through my mind for a moment. I did decide to keep the memories of our last moments, whether for masochistic reasons, or simply because the fact that giving up something full of 'what ifs' can feel so suffocating. It's like letting the blood flow to the top of the head and getting ready to blow up.

The past month had gone by so slowly, or at least that's what I felt. I went through the day with all my daily activities: from the apartment, to the office, stopped by the bar to relieve my fatigue, then returned to the apartment. Everything repeats itself seemingly endlessly.

My blurry mind made me think that at that moment I needed Moonbyul beside me the most, even though that need became unclear. Do I need her because she is the cure for all my pain, that she is all the answers to my prayers? Or am I actually just an who needs her to fill the gap in me, even though I've given her all my life, all the best I can give her?

"It's fine. Really." She insisted.
"Okay if that's what you want." I waved my white flag. Moonbyul can be a solid stonehead sometimes. "I will tell Mina not to pick up Ggomo since you want to take him to the pet shop by yourself."
"Yay. Can't wait to spend some time with him."
"Where will you bring him after?"
"Probably just chilling at the park near the river."
"Ah. Okay."
"You arrived already?"
"Yeah. At the parking lot here. I just texted Mingyu."
"Okay. Now text me the full address of the pet shop." She said. "It's a different one from the previous?"
"Actually, I used to go to that pet shop a lot back then, but they did a major renovation for months and just reopened. That's why." I explained. "It's the first pet shop I brought Ggomo there."
"Oh okay! Great. Then text me, okay?"
"Sure, babe. I will let you know when I'm ready to go home."
"No worries. Take your time, please."

Well, life goes on.

I got out of my car and slowly entered the apartment building that afternoon. I got into the elevator which then took me down to the lobby floor where I spent almost ten minutes waiting for the host to arrive. Mingyu looked a bit messy when he finally appeared with a face that looked hurried and when his eyes found my presence, his smile widened as he walked over.

"Noona, I'm really sorry."
"Calm down. It's just 10 minutes."
"Still. Come on."

Mingyu is definitely a typical person with high taste. When I entered the apartment, the soft scent of vanilla touched my nose and lulled me. The spacious room is decorated with ivory colored paint, all the items in the room were arranged very neatly. On the walls there were several black and white themed paintings decorating it and dark gold curtains on several sides which give an even more prominent elegant impression.

In the following hour he explained in detail his plans and ambitions which sounded very convincing—not only from the financial side, but his idea to build an independent music label that managed several indie artists from several countries and collaborated with each other was a very challenging idea. For a moment, I forgot about my personal problems and felt very enthusiastic about the plan.

While taking note of some of the needs regarding Mingyu's mega plan, I contacted several people in the office for suggestions. I also contacted Hwasa, because I thought I needed to involve her in this plan, because clearly Hwasa was one of the artists that Mingyu was targeting. My adrenaline felt like it was flowing fast. I felt so energized again.

I came out of the bathroom after spending a few minutes in it to relieve a little fatigue. For some reason, Mingyu's plan made me so excited, but also absorbed my very limited social energy. I chuckled, maybe after all this is a good sign to be able to continue living. While washing my hands, I heard a woman's voice faintly. Did Mingyu invite other people too without my knowledge? However, why did that voice sound so familiar? Slowly, with my curiosity running high, I walked outside looking for the source of the sound.

Yongmi. She was there, standing in the living room, still staring at Mingyu. Her arrival was a surprise for me, and maybe also for Mingyu, who looked stressed. I decided to quietly monitor from behind the pillar when the sound of commotion was heard from the conversation that was slowly heating up.

"How do you know I'm here?"
"I've been trying to talk to you. Gyu-yah. Please."
"Stop there, Yongmi. You should leave."
"No. Please."
"But there's—"
"At least listen to me once."
"We're done. Nothing I should listen anymore."
"Mingyu, please."
"Please leave."

Yongmi sobbed painfully and I couldn't just stand watching, but right when I was about to move, I decided to pull myself and wait a little longer. I felt a great curiousity on what happened between two.

"I couldn't bear the pain of losing you. Please