"Really, Jung Wheein?"

I fell silent after sipping the can of coke in my hand while staring blankly at the ceiling of Hyejin's room that afternoon. She was quite busy with a pot of samgyetang which she was heating in the pantry at that time. Five minutes after her last statement, she finally walked over to the dining table, where I was sitting there, and placed a pot and two empty bowls complete with dining addresses on the table. Still silent, she looked at me deeply and sighed.

"Are you going to give me a lecture about a LGBT stuff and tell me that I did it all wrong? Or that you want to drag me to church now to confess my sin?" I asked.
"We attended an online Sunday's worship this morning already." She replied calmly.
"Yeah. I don't know. My mind is a mess."
"Whee."
"What?"
"Calm down."

What happened in the next second was that she poured a fair share of samgyetang in the pot into the two bowls in front of us. With only a gesture that I knew very well, she asked me to eat it and she started doing the same thing. Silence descended upon us. She glanced at me with a faint smile as she picked up the rest of the kimchi from the plate with her metal chopsticks. I, myself, was clearly terrified of her next word. She's my best friend, the closest person to me, after all. I gulped, waiting for Hyejin to say something.

"How did it feel?"
"What?"
"When you said time stopped when you saw her."
"Hye—"
". Just tell me." She insisted.
"Ugh." I whined. "I don't know. Like all the voices around were disappeared? Like she's the only thing that matters."

Hyejin suddenly burst out laughing. She slapped the table many times until it made a loud sound, while I could only stare at her confused in silence. I couldn't understand the laughter at that time. I was too nervous and insecure with my feelings, with everything I feel for that someone. Telling it to Hyejin was one of the hardest things, even though I was definitely going to. Hyejin is the only person, a place where I can be myself, telling every details of me. Only her.

"Look at you. Holy." She finally stopped her laugh. "Straight outta romance movie."
"You scare me. Honestly."
"Wae?" She rolled her eyes. "It's insane how you acted like I'll judge you like that."
"I don't know. It's just hard."
"I know. I know you so well." She patted my shoulder. "But don't be." She took a glass of water at pantry and walked back to the seat to stare at me. "Whee. I'm sorry. I needed to absorb everything back then. I mean, all of people, you. When you told me about that woman, you looked the happiest. It's weird that I could somehow see the spark in your eyes. It has been a while since—" She cancelled that one. "Nevermind. Anyway, it's a different one though. I wonder how pretty Kim Yongsun is." She teased me, of course.

I mumbled. My mind was racing. Not even my "always looking serene" face could calm me down, or drown out the thousands of noisy voices inside my head. I scowled, looking at Hyejin, calling for emergency help with what I needed to do. I've never felt that feeling, never even imagined it. For me, love is just love, a feeling that grows because of getting used to it and can also disappear because of getting used to it. But suddenly, beautiful butterflies came to me and made me feel various flavors that I had never imagined.

"What am I gonna do now?"
"Aside from meeting her at Namsan? Maybe you'd kiss her under the orange sky?" She held her laugh.
"Hye."
"I'm being serious, Whee." She took a deep sigh before moving her body closer to hug me from the side. "Look. The ice finally melt." She hugged me tightly. "Not sure what story this Kim Yongsun will offer you, but it won't bite to try, I guess? Regardless her gender—if you care about my opinion about it. I really don't see it as a problem. I'm sure you're as shocked as me when you found out you kinda have a feeling for a woman, and this is your first. But I think you will do good, Whee. Now stop worrying over things you should not."
"Thanks, Hye." I smiled. "What if she decided not to come?"
"Then she'll regret it. My bestfriend has so many to offer." We laughed. A laugh I needed the most. I felt a lot calmer after that and started to think of her again, Kim Yongsun when Hyejin slapped my arm softly while pulling herself away. ", am I done babysitting you and  can we eat peacefully now?"

*** ***

It was already six in the evening and I had been sitting silently on a stone bench for almost an hour overlooking the city of Seoul from Namsan Park. I arrived at four and parked my car, before buying a warm bottle of soju to sip on my way up. I felt a strange vibration in my body. I didn't feel panicked or overthinking anymore, but just a little nervous feeling all over my body and to warm it from the cold wind that was quite strong that afternoon, and also to help me feel a bit saner—I thought so, I thought that bottle of soju was desperately needed.

I didn't have her cellphone number—Yongsun. I also decided not to pick her up at her apartment, but went straight to Namsan. I actually felt a little dumb and regretful because in modern times like today, I act like someone who still relies on a hope where destiny can bring us together again. Maybe I'm just naive? Maybe I was right, that falling in love at the first sight is indeed naive? I took a deep breath while gently brushing my messy hair swept by the evening wind. I turned up the volume of my iPod classic after choosing the right playlist, then took out a small notebook and pen from my bag and immersed myself in the beauty of Namsan's pink orange sky that afternoon. Despite all my hopes and worries, I felt grateful to be able to look up at that beautiful sky. I felt better, and warmer.

*
The noise in the unfamiliar grey city
just fades away again...
Among the busy people ahead of me
I feel a little lonely (What should I do?)
Beyond the sky
It still lingers vaguely
A warm light comforting my lost heart
That had nowhere to go
Like a pink cloud, let me shine...
Will you remember me, even for a moment?
Even my shady heart
will embrace you warmly
When our eyes met—

I stopped my writing and realizing that it was the first time that I started it again. My career was indeed very promising as a Chief Editor in a top newspaper publishing in this country, but my busy life made me forget a lot of the little things that I love, one of which is free writing. I often compose my notes and musicalize them, turning them into songs that only I keep to myself, or even Hyejin has given up on asking me to consider pursuing a career in music as a composer. I remember how she loved a song I wrote and posted it on a music community platform and it was played ten thousand times in the first week. Even so, I still didn't have the confidence to have a career in that world, eventhough I actually have posted my songs there several times, enjoying my position as an "anonymous indie music artist". I chuckled at the memory.

My laughter faded a little as I stared at the bright and beautiful sky that slowly faded and replaced with a stretch of dark blue sky that was getting darker with every second. Yongsun didn't come. I thought maybe she indeed never wanted to come from the beginning, or she was afraid of me, afraid of my existence. And again, my mind was wavering again.

I was stunned by the warmth of a hand on my right shoulder and turned slowly. There, where I met the warmest smile I ever seen in my life. Better than bottles of warm soju, or even the sunset light. No competition.

"Yong?"
"Hey." She sat beside me. "It was a good sunset, don't you think?"
"Y-You were here all along?"
"Yes. I stood behind you for around twenty minutes, watching the sunset to fade away."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm sorry." She bit her lips softly. "You were so serious writing something and it was so pleasing to watch. I came here for a nice sunset, and got an extra. A beautiful scene where I saw you writing something, with ears plugged and how you stared deeply at the sky. I'm satisfied."
"Aish jinjja." I got a reason to tell her about my blushed