"You didn't tell me about that, Yong."

Or probably about a lot of things.
Or worse, probably I know nothing about her.
Or worst, probably everything I knew about her was nothing but a lie.

"It's not important."
"Your parents still thinking that you two can be together again, Yong." I bit my tongue, thinking about the obstacle that lied in front of us. "Clearly, they want him. And for whatever the reason, they asked you to rearrange the marriage."
"Whee."
"I don't understand."

It tasted like a double shot espresso. Bitter and dense. Yongsun took a can beer that was lying on the living room table quickly, opened the lid in a huff and gulped down half in seconds. It took me by surprise, and it was debilitating. I loved her too much to see her hurt. I walked closer, holding out my warm hand which landed gently on her shoulder. Yongsun was still silent with her eyes closed, although there was nothing I wanted more than a look of conviction in her eyes. Faith in her love for me. Nothing else.

"Everything has been arranged since I wasn't born. Probably." She started the story, and I had no choice but to listen. "I was destined to marry him. I'm sorry. I don't have any proper replacement for that sentence, but I hope you'd listen."

The grip of my hand at her shoulder got weakened, and she knew how bad it knocked me down.

"Our families, our fathers to be precise, have been friends since college and built a business together. Since childhood, I knew everything about him, and since then I was also taught to love him, someone who would become my husband. I grew up loving him that much, and even until the wedding day, the day when I knew he cheated on me with someone else. And things got worse. It's not just someone else. It's probably dozens out there." She was devastated. Should I stop her? Maybe I do, but I was too selfish. I needed her to reveal it all. "And the worst part is—"

Her right hand grabbed the beer can beside her and again gulped down the remaining liquid inside. I could see a tinge of red on her face. Yes to her drunkenness. Yes to anger and disappointment.

"On that fine day. Our wedding day." I hate that words. It was surely traumatized me. And after that, how am I supposed to deal with it? "A young woman. Probably years younger. She came and told us she carried his baby, the baby he forced her to lose it. I wished he would deny it, but instead, he said it was true. He also told me he was indeed never loved me, not even a little. He chose to leave with her. So, I just ran away from everything."

I sat down. My head was too heavy at the moment that I was unable to proceed every word she said.

"But everything that happened is something that I left behind, Whee." She grabbed my hands and stared at me deeply. "I met this woman that night and decided to fall in love with her. I feel so loved, and for me, nothing I would do other than loving her more than what I have right now." She kissed my hands and I started to tear down. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you all this. I thought it wasn't important, but I see it clearly now. It's wrong. I should have told you this. I'm sorry, love. I love you so much."
"I don't know how to deal with this, Yong. I'm shocked." I said. "But never doubt how much I love you."
"I don't. Never."
"I'm sorry, Whee."
"Just tell me everything next time, Yong." I begged her. "Please."

Yongsun didn't answer right away, but looked at me stunned, with a straight face but full of meaning. I could tell she had too much on her mind at the time, and I couldn't stop it, not how my thoughts were as heavy as hers. Not a single sentence that I could say, so I decided to hug her tightly, letting her tears drip warmly on my chest.

"Did I cross the boundary?" I asked.
"No. I simply clueless. I don't know if I should involve you in it."
"I'm your girlfriend, Yong. Unless you don't think—"
"Of course." She put her finger on my lips. "Please. I'll try, but regardless, I'm trying to make things easier for us here. Trust me, will you? Nowhere else I want to be other than be with you. So please, Whee."

I pulled away a little. I needed to see her face.

"The situation might be hard, but I love you harder, Whee. Please remember that I always trying. Please remember that."

We entered the third week after the conversation that night, where later Yongsun spent a lot of time doing the 'deliberation' process with her family about plans that not only involved her family, but also the future of the family business that they had built together with her ex-fiancé's family—Daniel Wang . In those three weeks Yongsun has flown once to the US, and twice to Hong Kong to take care of some business, and even though we almost never miss exchanging short messages, or video calls, I still feel a lot missing inside me. I worried about her, and I missed her so much.

"If you're taking another overtime, then you don't have to pick me up at the airport. Just sleep like a baby and wait for me to come home. Okay?"
"But I want to."
"Baby." She chuckled softly. I missed her so much. "I can drive myself to you. I could just sneak up and hug you from behind while you sleep. How does that sound?"
"What time you'll arrive tommorow?"
"Around 2 PM."
"What is I insisted?"
"Then you'll pick me up, stonehead."

I smiled lightly while sat down on my working chair.

"I miss you so much, Yong."
"Likewise, love. I miss you too."
"Is everything okay there?"
"Can't really tell right now." She replied courtly. "But I will."
"Okay."
"I have to hang up now. Okay?"
"Okay." I said. "Please text me when you arrived at the airport later?"
"Noted, boss. Bye for now? I love you."
"I love you."

I almost jumped when I suddenly found Yoonsun's figure standing in front of my door. She looked very different that day with ripped black jeans and a band shirt combined with a leather jacket which was also black with some metal rock buttons. My eyes widened at her as she walked towards me.

"Wheein unnie! Don't say you're going to have another overtime."
"I guess?"
"Oh! Come on! It's Friday night."

I gulped. Still wondering why she wore that kind of outfit.

"Where are you going?"
"To an underground bar when I will be singing some rock songs."
"You what?!"
"I'm extending my passion to music. Lately I've been trying some new things, and turns out I like it so much."
"And what's with singing at the underground bar?"
"I got a chance and I should take it, don't you think?"
"You look... so excited."
"I am! It's my first gig ever."
"Congratulations, I guess?"
"Thanks, unnie. Anyway, I came here just to check on you. You seemed so blue lately." She monitored me, from head to toe. "Is everything okay with you? Don't you wanna go home and have a good sleep?"

I paused myself. Am I really supposed to go home and rest after dedicating most of my nights to work when Yongsun isn't by my side? Yoonsun looked confused looking at me who suddenly became silent. She glanced at the watch on her arm and prepared to leave when I suddenly feel the need to do something that might be better than sleep.

"I'm okay, Yoon."
"Please go home and don't take another overtime."
"Do I look like I'm so tired?"
"Well. Judging by your look, you look exactly like a zombie."

We laughed a little.

"So, where's the underground bar?"
"Whoa. Why so sudden?"
"Can I drive you? Having some beers and good music sound good."
"You want to come and watch me?"
"Yeah. Why not? I think I need a little refreshment."

She jumped. It gave a little happiness to see the joy in her eyes.

"Oh my God. Come on, unnie." She pulled my right hand.
"Yahhh. Calm down."

I chuckled as we walked out from the office that afternoon.

*** ***

"What the hell? How did you drink them all?"

Yoonsun looked at the two empty bottles of beer and three bottles of soju on my table. The two buttons of my top shirt were ed as the atmosphere was getting warm enough for me. It was already eleven o'clock in the evening, and two guest star