Looking at him closely, I took a deep breath. He didn't intimidate me like he used to do but he only stared at me behind his throne. 'How many truths would slap me right in front of me when I acted like Mount did nothing?'. 

 

"How can I fix it all?" I broke the ice between us. It was already cold since we met but it is completely different nowadays. When the facts started punching me without giving me a chance to breathe. I couldn't even lift my chin to face him. 

 

"Are you sure you want to fix it?"

 

"Just tell me how!" I gritted my teeth as I held my punch while holding my anger on the chair. It wasn't that anger. It was like I couldn't let my anger overcome me. If I didn't know the truths, I would keep going to push Ridge away, but then again. The truth was different from what I imagined.

 

"I couldn't let you in on this." He closed the file on his table and busied himself to another thing, ignoring my presence.

 

"Just tell me!" I grabbed his collar tightly while holding my jaw tight. I clearly wanted him to face me. It was already suffocating me. My eyes were hurt already and this guy was only playing with me again. "What the are you waiting for? Here I am! Paid for my sin! Just tell me what you want!! That was the reason you were spying on my company at first. And here I am. JUST TELL ME!"

 

"You are wrong. You don't get the things that happened. I can't talk with you if you are still being emotional." He tried to snatched my hands but I grabbed it tighter. 

 

"JUST SAY IT!" 

 

"LET ME FREE!" he snatched my hands  until I was pushed behind as he glared at me. 

 

"Do you think my main goal is only to get justice for my parents?" 

 

"That is what you want until you send Chaeyoon at first to be the spy!" I shouted. 

 

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" He slammed the table. "I never send her to you. NEVER!  WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" He shouted at me. He looked at me deeply before he shook his head. "Am I that idiot to send my sister to be in danger like that? And especially to a playboy like you??" He smirked and looked at me from the top to my bottom, judging me. "Tch…" It didn't even hurt when hearing his judges. 

 

"Please don't talk too much about this! I am here to pay my sin. Don't get me wrong! This is my responsibility for your loss…" I was tired. All the s that happened ed me up. This was the worst nightmare I faced. I support myself with my hands on the table. I looked down and closed my eyes to fix my mess. I gritted as I felt my brain was exploding also with my heart. I exhaled my breath and hardly opened my eyes to only realize my tears were already wetting the table. 

 

"Please!" I begged for the first time. "Please help me to pay the sin…" I was shaken. 

 

"Jisung-ah!" I heard what he was saying. I still looked down to the table letting my tears fall. 

 

"It is not your sin! You are messed up and can't think clearly, right now!" 

 

"Just please!" I begged while holding my punches. 

 

"Just go to the hospital! Go to Chaeyoon and Jiseok! They need you, right now." 

 

"Can't you let me fix it all until I can face Chaeyoon?" I finally let out my worries. That was the biggest worry I faced lately. From the start. It started just like I felt everything was caused by 'something takes two for a tango' and now it turned out that actually my company was doing worse. 

 

"Jisung-ah! It is not your sin." He said while leaving me with his wheelchair without looking back.  

 

*****((()))*****

 

I rode my car wherever it took me. And there I parked my car on the beach. The place I usually went with her. The night breeze with the moon lighted on the empty beach. No one was there, just like me, empty inside. Smiling but laughing at me, inside me actually wasn't empty. It was messy and I laughed harder. I laughed hard as I felt my eyes burning me and the tears streamed down. I just can't help holding those suffocating truths I got from my father to the one who gave me the world. 

 

"AAHHHHHH…" I screamed as I hit the steering wheel until I could feel the pain that could match the pain I felt inside. However the more I hit, the more numb I felt. 

 

"AAAHHHHH…" 

 

"WHY?! WHY?!! TELL ME WHY?!"

 

"WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHAT THE SHOULD I DO? TELL ME, GOD! TELL ME!" I held my heart that ached the most. 

 

"WHY IT SHOULD BE ME??" I screamed harder to make my throat ache as much as the pain I got. 

 

"WHY!?" I hit the steering wheel and let my head fall on it. Nothing could beat the pain I felt on my heart. That was crazy. I was crazy and I laughed, laughing at myself and my stupidity.

 

*****((()))*****

 

As I could get my grip, I walked out of my car. I kept walking wherever I made the trail with her.  Rubbing my wet face out of tears, I kept walking. Forcing my shaken body to walk and to erase the things that suffocated me. 

 

Until I stopped at the restaurant I usually went to. I looked at the closed tag closely. Even looking at the simple word made my mind go somewhere else I couldn't imagine before. I didn't know how long I was dazing in front of the restaurant until I walked to the apartment area. 

 

Gritting my teeth, I forced my leg to keep walking to the place that I never imagined my legs would bring me to. Walking through the darkness in the apartment. I couldn't even hear a sound except for my hard steps. And there I stopped in a place I was familiar with. 

 

And there I was dazed, looking at the door for minutes. I didn't know what I would do now. Smirking to myself, I grouped the key in my pocket that I always bring since that incident. I only came to see if the restoration after the incident went well back then. But then I thought I made a good decision about this. 

 

Opening the door carefully, I felt stuffy and humid. Again, I remembered the incident like a film. Closing the door, I fell on the ground with my back on the wall next to the main door. 

 

I remembered the incident. When I thought it was only because of Uncle Seokjin that time, when I was still in denial about the situation and believed that my parents were honest and never did something hideous. The time when she was alone to keep her baby. 

 

"No, It is your baby…" I laughed to myself. 

 

She was hardly saving her life. When she was hospitalized, because of bleeding in her early pregnancy. And it was caused by me. 

 

"You are also a monster, Jisung-ah!" I smirked, holding my tears hard. I rubbed my face frustratedly. 

 

When she was attacked in the hospital. Also in her home. And it was funny when you realized it was caused by the closest one of her. It was none but you. 

 

"Me! Me! Don't run away, Jisung-ah!" I grasped my hair tightly and let me scream as much I should do to lessen the hurt in my heart, the more the better. 

 

And that was all. Without a light, I gulped all the feelings in it. All the disgusting things I caused reappeared. Straying my sight afar, I cried for nth time that day. I am done. I broke. 

 

—-

 

After getting all my grips back, I took my phone in my pocket. Calling the number I always call when I need help. Fortunately, my call was picked up immediately. 

 

"Where are you now? Chaeyoon is looking for you…"

 

"Taemu-ya, I know it will be hard. But…"

 

"Please come back!"

 

"I can't… I can't face her…" I faintly smiled. 

 

"Just come back!" His tone raised. 

 

"My father is behind it all…" I added and there was silence on the line. 

 

"Please wait!" He replied with a low voice and I could hear him, making an excuse to Chaeyoon. He said that there is an important meeting that I should be there so I couldn't pick up the call and he excused himself to go. Without realizing it, I smiled to hear his excuses. 

 

"Thanks…" I faintly replied. 

 

"Just explain to me! I am all ears, now."

 

"Nothing… it is clear as a sky…" I laughed. 

 

"Just please say a word to make me get the situation!"

 

"It is clear. I am done…" I laughed. 

 

"Okay, so what should we do, now?"

 

"All the evidence of Go Seokjin we had. Let's make a report!"

 

"But, I think it must be clear first. Because it involves the company. And if it is false it would be…"

 

"It is right though…ha…ha…ha" 

 

"No, Director. We should do deep research first! If it was false."

 

"It is true, Taemu-ya. DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT TWICE!" I shouted and it became silent for a moment. 

 

"Okay, Director. We will talk later when we meet."

 

*****((()))*****

 

The evidence I got made me lose all of my life. The voice recorder that Director Jang personally gave me to free him from the jail that Jonghyun had made, the reports of past years since Ridge's parents' incident started, made me laugh continuously. And well, I didn't know what to do.  

 

The funny thing was Director Jang gave up covering their sins and gave all the things that could jail the suspects in the right hand, the son of Mount. All of the reports gave me the evidence to shut me up.  None but stupid would ever deny to understand that. 

 

"Here it is!" I laughed hard in front of Taemu and Jonghyun who personally came to my office after I said I held the gold that Jonghyun needed to slap the suspect. "How about this? I am doing good, right?" I laughed and didn't even care about every single s that happened to the company. My company.

 

"SEE! I DID IT!" I laughed in my chair. 

 

"Oh, Ha Jonghyun. Let Director Jang free! He gave me this. I don't want to be a betrayer. So, yeah…" I showed the USB and put it on the table proudly. 

 

"The businessman nowadays really needs to understand what faith is. He gave me this evidence even though he also got much from Mount. How funny! I will learn his way, to record everything that my partners have planned. This is the easiest way, right?" I looked at Taemu who was standing like a statue since I started breaking the ice. 

 

"You should learn like him too, Ha Jonghyun!" I turned to him who was coming to me with his wheelchair. He stopped right in front of my table with the looks I have never seen before. 

 

"Why? Why is everyone silent? The case is almost closed. We can make a report now!" I took the USB while shrugging my shoulders with laughter. 

 

"Jisung-ah, you are going too far." Jonghyun said with a raised brow. 

 

"Why? It is a crime. We should get justice. Shouldn't we?"

 

"Director…" Taemu finally let out a word beside me.

 

"Now, I heard your voice Taemu-ya!" I laughed. 

 

"But, it involves your father …" he added while fixing his glasses. 

 

"So, Why? Crime is a crime. What thing should be hidden when it is not hidden anymore?" 

 

"I think you should get out of this. Let me do the rest!" Jonghyun snatched the USB from my hand. 

 

"Why everyone? WHY???!!" I screamed as I lost my patience. My heart was torn as I felt my eyes hurt. "LET ME GET THE THING RIGHT!"

 

"ENOUGH!" Jonghyun glared at me. 

 

"It is not done yet!" I questioned him while glaring at him back. 

 

"It is done for you. Just let it go!" 

 

"Are you kidding me??"

 

"It is your ing father and you want to jail him up? Get your grip! You are unstable. Taemu- ssi, please collect the evidence and give it to my secretary outside." He asked Taemu and he did as he said immediately and walked outside. 

 

"What are you doing? I am collecting all the evidences, I should be the one …" I said as I pulled out Taemu's hand before he reached the main door.  

 

"STOP IT, HWANG JISUNG!" Jonghyun shouted at me. 

 

"It is your main goal at first!" I shouted back at him.

 

"Taemu-ssi, please continue!" He said and without looking back, he left. 

 

"Taemu-ya, I am your Director, not him!" I said but he closed the door. "Are you kidding me!??" I turned to Jonghyun who was sitting in a wheelchair.

 

"Go back to Chaeyoon and be the good father you should be!" He ordered me while I smirked. 

 

"What the hell are you to order me? I am not your …"

 

"WHO ASKED YOU TO IMPREGNATE MY SISTER??" He screamed glaring at me and made me stunned. 

 

"Do you think my family are only my late parents? Do you think Chaeyoon is not my family?" I lost. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't answer it. My heart twitched when I heard about her. 

 

"You ing bastard! Go to my sister and be responsible for what you have done! Forget everything! And go to her. I will kill you if you dare to destroy my only family's life." He said. He wasn't wrong but I just couldn't. I lost everything. I lost my energy as I fell on the floor. 

 

"You really know how to hit the spot…" I mumbled as I grasped my hair to mess it as mess as I felt. 

 

"Jiseok is also my family. He has our blood too. I don't want you as the father to be disrespectful. You know what I mean." He ended it. Whoever heard that knew that it was a warning not a question.  

 

*****((()))*****

 

This was my most comfortable place but it wasn't nowadays. I just felt that I wasn't meant to be here again. I looked at her eyes deeply and wanted to see if I might still have a chance with her. 

 

"Jisung-ssi, What's wrong with you?" He asked softly, looking at me  sincerely. I caught her curiosity after I left her in silence even though I was home. 

 

'How dare you call it home after everything that happened?' 

 

I laughed at myself. No one would have a face to be here ever again. I gulped my throat trying to prepare myself for the worst. 

 

The things I got nowadays, the hidden truth I hid from her, and I should face her. 

 

'Who could be that brave to see the one that their life had been destroyed? And seriously, it was caused by you?'

 

If only I met the truth that was more decent about Mount, if only I could comfortably talk with her. But no, nothing could help me not to feel that wrecked. 

 

The massive truth that came at that same time, dropped my energy and I fell on my knees. Holding my fists on my knees, I sincerely wanted to apologize to someone that already gave me the world. 

 

'Bastard!'

 

That was the only right name I got from him. I couldn't even hold my tears to see her. It was just not right. My chest was torn into pieces. The greed of me, wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. But, it became more impossible to do with. 

 

'Is it that hard to love someone?' 

 

I scrunch my face in pain. holding my tears which already turned into sobs, I hardly confessed.

 

"Why…why?" She was shaken and I heard her cracked voice woke me up to say something for my silence. It was enough for her to be treated in silence nowadays and I was still being silent like this. 

 

'You' re right. I am a Bastard.' 

 

"Jisung-ssi…" she called my name again. It was different from the first time I met her. It was more painful. I just didn't want to be called by her. It just made me grit my teeth while tightening my fists.  

 

"I am sorry… I am sorry…" that was the only one I could say. I couldn't even explain what I was sorry for. It was just not right.

 

"Chaeyoon-ssi, I am sorry…" I tried holding her hand with my trembling hands. "I am sorry…" I swallowed my saliva hardly as my tears choked me inside. "I apologize for the sake of my father… please forgive me! Please…" 

 

That was the moment of truth, I couldn't force myself to have a hope with her ever again. If it was painful for me, it would be more painful for her. It was enough if she still wanted to continue her life without me, without torturing herself with the memories Mount had made for her.  

 

She fell in front of me with her shaken body. Hardly trying not to cry. 

 

"W…why why you?" She couldn't continue her words as she snatched my hand. She rubbed her red face frustratedly. 

 

"Jisung-ssi!" She screamed in a muffled voice and hit my chest hard. My tears wet my face as I couldn't feel any of her punches hurt me as my heart felt right now. The pain of truth and her crying after knowing the truths, tore me more. 

 

And after those years, she finally could express her hatred to the person she was looking for. I just wanted to feel her pain through her hits. But, no. I couldn't imagine. The pain was so unreal. If a death was the only one that could make me feel her pain. I would love to. 

 

"JISUNG-SSI!!" She screamed and I could only look at her hitting me hard continuously.

 

'Just let me feel your pain, Chaeyoon-ssi!' I held my tears hardly to look at her being messed up. 

 

"JISUNG-SSI!!!" She screamed while grabbing my collars.

 

"I am sorry…" I sincerely said. She hit me hard before falling on the ground sobbing. 

 

"Jisung-ssi…" she sobbed. 

 

And this made me realize that the most painful thing wasn't all the things that happened nowadays but seeing the one you loved, broke after knowing the most painful truths of the tragedy happened to her, and you couldn't even touch to calm her nor stop her cries. The only thing you could do was only looking at her with the fists on your knees begging for her forgiveness. 

 

-to be continued-

 

A/N:

Hi everyone here is an update ^^ 

Thanks for still  reading my stories ^^

Kindly vote, comment, and share with your friends ^^

Meet me again next chapter (^.^)

If I take a long time to update the next chapter, kindly read my other stories: The Binding Angel, Married for Benefit, Through Their Lenses, The Luckiest, and Unseen (On-going). Thank you!

See ya! 

With love, 

Byeol-nim ❤