The Moment of Truth

If I'm Not in Love with You
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They attended the post-play dinner that was sponsored by the theatre club for yet another victorious production. Afterwards, he walked her back to the dorm.

 

Kyungsoo insisted on carrying the bouquet while she let Chanyeol take her massive duffel containing her make-up and costume changes. She was smiling as they walked, reflecting on the last few hours.  She had distributed the other bouquets she received among the professor and other women at the party, including Junmyeon and Baekhyun, but this tiny bunch of white lilies was the most special and the only one that mattered.

 

He still wasn’t speaking and she realized, as they neared their destination, that his hand was progressively getting colder to the touch. “Is something wrong?” 

 

“Huh?” He turned to her, his usual grin was undoubtedly heartfelt but nonetheless apprehensive. “N-Nothing, Kyungsoo.”

 

Maybe this was really difficult for him. She tried to help him out. “Chanyeol, how did you know white lilies were my favorite? I never told you that.”

 

He swallowed as they stopped walking.

 

“And, I remember when I went out with Jongin that it was you who suggested to give me white lilies,” she continued, smiling. She was getting good at this. She should get tips from Baekhyun on how to fish for information, especially for such a hard subject like Park Chanyeol.

 

“Uh... well...” He coughed, trying to clear his throat. Before Chanyeol continued, he attempted to hastily measure if his level of fondness for her was less than healthy, as in bordering in the psychotic. Was he already a stalker? “R-Remember when I told you I watched your plays?”

 

She nodded encouragingly.

 

He shrugged, trying to make it seem trivial. “I’m just a good observer, I guess. You would look for white lilies first and then if you don’t find any, you wouldn’t pick up any of your bouquets at all.”

 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo said, a little disheartened. That was still a bit unusual of an observation, especially for a spectator who would leave after the curtains had closed.  When was he really going to admit he loved her? She thought of another angle. “W-What about the poem then?”

 

His eyes widened.

 

“To tell you the truth, the day you read it in class, I wanted to ask for a copy of it,” she confessed.

 

He didn’t expect that. “Really?”

 

“It was so beautiful, Chanyeol. Something about it just... moved me. I didn’t realize that it would...”

 

Now, he was the one waiting for her to continue. He supposed it would make this whole confession thing so much easier...

 

But she didn’t let him off the hook just like that. She laughed instead. “I didn’t ask anymore because I thought you wrote it for Baekhyun!”

 

He chuckled then, recalling how two unconventional couples emerged from those crazy 72 hours.

 

Kyungsoo sighed in frustration. He still wasn’t budging. “So you really wrote it for me?”

 

He slowly locked his gaze to hers. Then he confirmed it with only a nod of his head.

 

“Why?” she asked and then rephrased her question.  “I mean, how come?”

 

Chanyeol gripped her hand tighter. Her dorm was only a few feet away. She followed him in confusion as he led her to the front steps. He dusted off the spot where they would sit so he could begin to elaborate. He set her things at the side and produced the poem while Kyungsoo sat beside him.

 

They both read the poem silently at first.

 

 

D awn breaks for another morning to shine   

O ver and over, as always, I pine

K isses have been stolen behind my closed eyes

Y ou are all I dream about, despite this disguise

U p in the clouds is where you take me

N ight falls once more, hoping that I’ll be

G athering courage, I remain yours

S ilence in my stride, running its course

O ne moment has turned into countless days

O ften my love for you leaves its trace.

 

 

Then he looked at her. Kyungsoo was suddenly nervous about his nearness.

 

“So the first few lines mean that you’ve pined away...”  Her voice trailed off, looking confused.  “And that kisses have been stolen... but... you haven’t...”

 

Chanyeol fidgeted with his hands, couldn’t look at her.  “I meant... I’ve kissed you... in my mind...”

 

Kyungsoo felt herself blushing.  “Oh...” 

 

“J-Just in dreams...” he explained, couldn’t look at her in mortification.  “Since... what I felt for you was unrequited, I had a hard time believing it...”

 

“But Chanyeol, you’re... entitled to your... fantasies...” Kyungsoo put in delicately, swallowing.  “Good ones, I hope...” 

 

His jaw dropped at her implication, suddenly crossing his heart.  “Very PG-13, I promise you.”

 

Kyungsoo was the one who first looked away, suddenly overwhelmed. Chanyeol was so much deeper when he wasn’t speaking.  When did it

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ahzeeee #1
Already read it when its posted on A03, just wanna say thankyou for always bringing these wonderful stories for us at every fest!