My cell phones blinked. One message arrived from Jun Su.

Wanna go lunch with me?

My fingers start typing the reply.

No.

A few seconds later my cell phones rang but not from a message. Jun Su called.

“Your answer really makes me sad.”

“Jun Su ya, I’m still a normal guy.”

“Ya! You think I’m not normal? You better come down now. We have to talk.”

“But I’m not in the mood to talk right now.”

“I know but you better come first.”

What does he wants from me? I walked down to the restaurant on the ground floor and arrived there in 10 minutes. He waves his hand when he saw me.

“I can see you clearly so you don’t have to wave like that.”

“I already ordered your favorite dish.” He said when I want to called the waiter.

“What’s the matter with you today? Are you sick?”

He laughed. “I’m feeling great today.”

“But I still recommend you to go see the doctor.”

“I think you’re the one who should see the doctor.” He seriously stared at me.

“Me?”

“You have to check your brain, see what’s inside of it.”

I don’t understand what he’s talking about.

“I’m talking about your engagement. Have you thought about it?”

“I haven’t.” I said lazily.

“See that’s why I told you to check your brain. Jae, as your friend I suggest you to reconsider once again before it’s too late.”

“I can’t think. I don’t even know what I should do to her.”

“Then think about the consequences on Hye Rin if you keep continuing this engagement. Marriage is once in a lifetime, Jae. Don’t let yourself and Hye Rin suffers because of your emotions.”

I fell silent. He’s right.

 

I waited Joo Yeon in the lobby at her office building. About 30 minutes later, I saw her walked out from the elevator together with Yoo Chun. I approached them.

“Joo Yeon ah.”

They’re both turned around. Joo Yeon surprised to see me here. “Jae Joong ssi?”

“Yoo Chun ah, I’m sorry but I have to take her now. Something came up and Abeoji asked me to pick her up.”

Yoo Chun stared at me long enough before he finally replied. “Of course.” Then he turned to Joo Yeon. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay.”

I took her hand without looking back at Yoo Chun. She tried to loosen my grip but I didn’t let it go. When we’re both inside the car, I immediately drove away and hit the street.

“Where are we going?”

I don’t give an answer.

“What is going on, Jae Joong ssi? Nothing’s happened right?”

“No.”

She still insisted. “Then what?”

“You’ll know.”

“Tell me what’s going on here.” She started to feel irritated. “Fine. If you don’t want to tell me what’s this all about, I’ll call Appa.”

She took out her cell phones from inside her bag but I snatched it immediately before she managed to do anything with it.

“HEY!”

“You better not call him.”

She inhaled deeply.

 “What are you doing, KIM JAE JOONG?”

“Are you hungry? We can stop at—“

“I don’t need food right now, I need an explanation.”

“It’s okay if you’re not hungry. We can arrive there faster then.”

She looked so furious but because she didn’t get any answer from me so she decided to stop talking and threw her face to the side, looking at the scenery along the street from the window. An hour later, we already arrived at my family’s summer house located outside Seoul. I drove the car through the yard then turned off the engine after parked it. I turned to see Joo Yeon is still sleeping. I gently touched her cheek and caressed it but then I pull back my hand immediately, like something stung me.

She’s finally awake probably because of my touch.

“We’ve arrived.”

I said to her while walked out from the car. Ahjussi who have been worked for my family for over than 20 years, welcome me at the front door.

“Young master.”

“Ahjussi, sorry for troubling you.”

“Of course not. Ahjussi miss you so much.”

Joo Yeon walked out from the car and slowly approached me at the front door. Ahjussi looked at her and greeted her with smile.

“Ahjussi, this is Joo Yeon.”

“Annyeonghaseyo.” She bowed to the old man.

“This is the first time our young master brings his friend here so you must be very special to him.” He smiled meaningfully to me.

“Sorry?” She looked at Ahjussi confusedly.

“We better go inside, it’s cold out here.” I told her

“I’ll prepare the table for you two.”

Ahjussi went into the house. I started to step in but Joo Yeon didn’t move an inch from her standing spot.

“It’s cold here, you can get sick.”

“What are we doing here?” She asked annoyed.

I sighed.

“We better get in first and talked inside.” I took her hand but this time her reaction is different. She followed me voluntarily.

Joo Yeon slowly looked around the house once we’re inside. I can understand her. This house is completely strange to her because dad and I forgot to tell her about it. We also forgot to tell Ahjussi that she is my sister, that’s why he thought Joo Yeon is my girlfriend.

“I guess Abuji and I forgot to tell you about this house.”

“Never mind.”

I looked at my watch. There’s still enough time before Ahjussi finished prepare the food for us, so I think to take her walked around the neighborhood.

“Joo Yeon ah, how about we take a walk? There’s a night market not far from here.”

She looked at me perplexedly but then she nodded.

“Okay, wait here. I’ll go tell Ahjussi that we’re going out for a while.”

I went to the kitchen and told Ahjussi then I went back to fetch her at the living room. Tonight is a little bit windy so I took out my jacket from the car and placed it on her shoulder. We walked side by side along the street. There are so many times I wanted to hold her hand but I restrain myself. I clenched my hand.

“This market opens everyday from 6pm.”

She nodded.

“Take your time to look around.”

She walked in front of me and started looking into each stand. The market offers much kind of things from food to clothes and accessories. She stopped in front of an accessories stand and I stood beside her. I noticed she pay an extra attention to a pretty little hairpin. She took it into her hand and smiled to it.

 “Agassi, the hairpin will look pretty on you. Why don’t ask your boyfriend to buy it for you.”

An Ahjumma, who’s the owner of the stand, talked to Joo Yeon but her eyes was on me. In normal situation, I will smile and feel proud that a stranger thinks I’m Joo Yeon’s boyfriend. But not again. I feel like I need to correct her.

“I’m not her boyfriend, Ahjumma. I’m her brother.”

I expect Joo Yeon will feel surprised with my statement and I was right. She didn’t expect I will correct that Ahjumma’s words. She stared at me.

“You’re her brother? But you don’t look like one. You two look so good together like you’re destined for each other.”

I smiled weakly. “I’m really her brother, Ahjumma.”

“I’m sorry then.”

“It’s okay.” Joo Yeon said then she put the hairpin back to its place and walked away.

I talked again to the owner. “How much is that hairpin, Ahjumma?”

She mentioned a price and I paid her. I held the hairpin in my hand and chased Joo Yeon. She was standing in front of scarf stand and pretends to be busy looking around the models. I stood beside her and put the hairpin on her hair. She startled and her hand rose up to touch it.

 “I knew you like that hairpin but you didn’t bring your purse, so I bought it for you.”

“You don’t have to buy me anything.”

“It’s my last present for you.”

There’s an awkward silent between us after I said the last word. We just stared at each other for a while. I took a deep breath.

“Let’s go back. We’ve been gone too long.”

We walked back to the house still in silence. Ahjussi greeted us at the front door.

“Welcome back, young master. The table is ready.”

“Kamsahamnida, Ahjussi.”

We’re sat facing each other on the dining table. “Let’s eat.” I took a small piece of beef and put it on her rice bowl.

After dinner, I planned to talk with her in the backyard which facing the hills but my cell phones suddenly rang. It better be a very important matter until my secretary called this late. I picked up and while I heard her talking from across the line, I saw Joo Yeon heading to the backyard alone.

The phone call ends in 10 minutes. I went to the kitchen and asked Ahjussi to make 2 glass of hot chocolate then took them to the backyard. She sat on a bench made from a big trunk from a tree. I put the glasses on an empty spot beside her to covered her body with the blanket I brought from inside. I sat beside her and passed one glass of hot chocolate to her. When I looked up, I’m glad she didn’t take off the hairpin I bought for her.

“The view from here is so beautiful.”

She held the glass tightly and sipped slowly. When I passed her the glass earlier, her hands were so cold.

“Why do you take me here?”

She turned around and stared at me but there’s no anger in her eyes. I looked at her. There are so many thoughts mixed inside my head when I drove from Seoul this evening and after talked with Jun Su in the morning, I knew whatever decision I made will impact to the people around us, including her and me.

“I took you here not without reason. I just want to convince myself that the decision I made was not because our difficult situation, but because I knew what I was doing.”

“Decision? What decision?”

“I decided to cancel my engagement with Hye Rin.”

Joo Yeon stared me expressionless but I knew she was shocked with my words. I can see it from the way she grip the glass tighter than before. She turned her face away to look down at the glass on her lap.

“Why did you make such decision?”

“This morning I talked with Jun Su and he helps me realize one thing. I can’t act reckless just because I was desperate. I realized I shouldn’t hurt Hye Rin this way.”

I looked down to the hill below us.

“I know I’ll never love her so before I hurt her deeper by marrying her, it is better if I cut it from here. She probably hurt badly with my decision but I’m sure she’ll get my replacement in no time. She deserves a better person than me.”

Because she didn’t respond to it, I continue.

“I’m not telling you my decision to burden you. I fully support your decision to marry Yoo Chun if you think that’s the best for you. I want to see you happy cause that will make me happy too.”

“Jae Joong ssi—“

“I knew Yoo Chun for long enough and he’s a good man. I’m sure he’ll make you happy.”

We’re both staring at each other in silence.

“Fate brought us together as siblings and we can’t help not to falling in love with each other but the situation forced us to give up.”

I gave her a weak smile but at the same I felt the tightness in my chest, because no matter what I did I can never have her. I can’t show it because I don’t want to give her any burden. I took her hands and held it.

“Tomorrow everything will be back like it used to be, like the first time you entered our house. I’ll take care of you as my sister.”

I took the glass from her grip and placed it beside me then I moved closer to her, put my arm around her and held her tight. She didn’t reject or give any reaction. Probably still can’t believe with what I said earlier, I thought. We sat in silence for few minutes while looking down at the hills. Sometimes I glanced at her but she sat still. I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting like this but when I glanced at her again, I saw her regular breath. She fell asleep in my embrace.

“You don’t know how much I want that Ahjumma’s words are true, Joo Yeon ah.” I caressed her cheek lightly then whispered. “I love you.”

I put my hand behind her knees and lifted her up slowly, afraid to woke her up. I took her to the master bedroom on second floor. I put her on the bed and covered her body with blanket. In the room with full of light, I can see clearly the trace of tears on her cheeks. It looks like she silently cried when I held her in the backyard. I traced back the dry tears with my thumb and I felt the tightness again in my chest.

I watched her sleeping for few minutes before make a final decision. This is the last time I did what I shouldn’t do, I said to myself. I walked to the other side of the bed to join her. I positioned my body so close to her so that my arm can replace the pillow then slowly pulled her body till I can held her. She budged then stopped after finding the right position. I rest my head on the bed head and try to close my eyes.

Everything is going to be okay tomorrow.

Everything is gonna be okay.