XVIII.
The Greatest Fan of My Heart
--- JAEJOONG'S POV ---
"Hyung, wake up! We need to prepare for the interview," Changmin said as he tapped my face. I sighed harshly out of frustration because I really want to sleep a little more. But I have no choice but to wake up so I slowly get up and started to prepare myself.
After the interview, we immediately went to the dance studio to rehearse for our upcoming concert. This concert was going to be very big because it would be the last concert for our album's asia tour. After that concert, we'll be very busy preparing for our next album. The concert venue will be held in Seoul, that's why we want to make this very special because we'll be going to perform with our native country, South Korea. Not that other countries weren't special, it's just that the feeling is different when you are performing with the people similar your race.
While taking a break, I told manager Lee that I will be going to visit Miyeon again and I would be the one to look after her for the whole night because Soojin noona must take a rest. He agreed and Junsu told me he'll come with me.
After practicing for a few hours, they already dismissed us and Junsu and I went to the hospital. I bought flowers and fruits because I thought that she would like it.
"Hyung, please stop smiling so wide. It gives me a creepy feeling," Junsu said. It was obvious that he was just joking because he was grinning. I just laughed at him and put back my attention on driving.
'I hope Miyeon's still awake...' I said to myself. I glanced at my wristwatch and saw it was just 8 in the evening.
After I parked the car, we immediately went down the car and fixed ourselves. Junsu and I put our caps and shades then went off. At the corridor, we avoided having eye contacts with people to avoid them to recognize us. We let out our breaths as long as we reached the front of Miyeon 's room.
"Hyung, that was really amazing. I thought I held my breathing while going up here," Junsu said before we opened the door.
"Hello Miyeon, hello noona!" We greeted in chorus as we entered the room. They just looked at us without even greeting back nor smiling. Their faces was expressionless, so Junsu and I looked at each other with wondering in our eyes.
"U-uhm, is there a problem? Why do you seem so quiet and cold? It's quite odd, you know..." Junsu said trying to ease the tension. The atmosphere in the room was really odd, like we weren't welcome to enter.
I went near Miyeon and put the flowers and fruits at the table. Then I stared at her to ask what seems to be the problem.
"Miyeon-ah! Your eyes are swollen! Did you just cry? Why? What happened?" I asked with full of concern. Did something bad happened a while ago?
Miyeon looked at me, her eyes filled with... Anger?
"Why not ask yourself? And please, stop pretending you really care about me. I won't buy it anymore." She said, tears starts to form in her eyes.
I was stunned for a while because I really don't know what she was talking about. Ask myself about what?
"M-Miyeon, what did I do wrong? Please tell me, I am really clueless..." I said. I held her hand, but she just dodged. Something's really wrong!
"Clueless? Huh, yeah right. Junsu, you're clueless too?" She said while looking at the confused Junsu. He nodded and gave her a questioning look.
"Alright, so Jaejoong, do you know how does it feels like to love someone you thought loves you too, but in the end you'll know that all of it was just a lie? That he never really loved you, that he just pretended to love you because a friend asked him to?" She said with bitterness in her voice. She immediately wiped her tears that started to flow freely.
I was speechless. How did she knew about it? This is not the way she should have known it. Of course, I have a plan of telling her everything. It's just that... I should have been the one to tell her everything.
"Miyeon-ah, hyung has nothing to do with it. It was all my fault, I just dragged him in this situation and---"
"No matter what, you two still tricked me! Do you know how much it hurts? It's like being beaten a thousand times! Not the body, but the heart..." She said as her sobbing became louder. When I tried to hug her to console her, she just pushed me and hit me in the chest and face.
"Bastard! How could you do this to me? If Soojin-unni didn't go back to your apartment, I wouldn't knew this! How long do you still want to trick me? For how long?!" She said in between hitting me. I didn't even dodge although my chest was already hurting and I felt blood on the side of my lips.
"Will you listen to my explanation, Miyeon-ah?" I said, looking at her with pleading in my eyes. I also felt like tears were starting to fall off my eyes but I fought it.
"What for? To make me believe you and make a fool out of me? Are you really happy to know I was hurting? What did I do to you to make you do this to me?" Watching her cry like that and hearing her voice with so much hurt already brought aching in my heart. God, is this the consequence of everything I've done?
"Miyeon-ah, calm down..." Soojin-noona said as she went near Miyeon and rubbed her back to calm her. I unconsciously took a few steps backward.
"Miyeon, hear me out first, please. Yes, it's true that Junsu asked me to help him have a spot in your heart. But it was not his idea to make you fall for me... It was mine. Junsu loves you but he said you are more interested in me rather than him. So he asked me to help him divert your feelings to him. I owe him my life so I didn't hesitate to help him. I thought that if I act like I really like you then act like a total jerk towards you, you'll dislike me. So I did everything to look like a jerk to you. But everytime I do, I just feel so guilty and feel like I shouldn't do that to you... So one day I just woke up with you filling my mind the whole day. I realized that I had already fell for you..." I said while looking at her with begging in my voice. My throat hurts a lot because of suppressing my sobs but I just ignored it. Tears started to flow, but I didn't mind.
I waited for like a year when she finally talked.
"Get out, please get out. I already made up my mind. I'm going to resign. Don't worry, my anger towards you will soon fade away. Just give me some time to think things clearly. So please, leave me..." She said in a hoarse voice then covered her body with the blanket and closed her eyes.
"You heard her, just leave. Go home and take a rest." Noona said coldly. Junsu went towards me and silently told me to leave. I just nodded and took a one last glance to Miyeon before leaving the room.
"Miyeon, just let your heart believe that I really love you because that's really true. I'm not asking for your forgiveness in an instant because I know what I did was really unforgivable. I just hope...that one day when I say the words "I love you", you will respond that you still love me too..." I said then closed the door.
I put the dark shades on for two reasons: to prevent the people notice me and cause some commotion and to avoid them see that I'm crying.
"Hyung... I'm sorry." Junsu said as we reached the parking lot. I just forcedly gave him a smile and told him it was alright.
Well, life must go on, right? You must face the consequences of your wrongdoings so I decided to give her some time to sort things out.
--- MIYEON'S POV ---
'Miyeon, just let your heart believe that I really love you because that's really true...' Jaejoong's last words stucked on my mind that for a while I thought it was really true.
"Unni... Do you think I should believe him?" I asked after Jaejoong and Junsu left.
When I first heard the news from Soojin unni, I thought she was just joking. She told me that Jaejoong was just pretending he loves me because Junsu told him so. Why would they do that to me anyway? But when unni's face was still serious and I saw concern in her face, that's when I realized it's really true. Unni would never lie to me. And besides, Jaejoong admitted it by himself!
"You know what? While I was listening to his explanations... While looking at his expression... You can see the pain, especially the love..." Unni answered.
"Y-you think so? But he..he admitted it, unni. He admitted that since from the start, he was just fooling around me."
I heard unni sighed deeply before she speak. She looked intently on my eyes. "From the looks of it, it seemed like he really loves you. Your story just started out on the wrong side. But if you really just open your eyes and mind, you'll find out that he had really loved you from the very start... Well, that was just based on my point of view,"
He really loves me? That was also what he said. But I was really hurt to believe it... After being with my prince charming, here I am, back again from being a commoner, a loser. It was like flying high up in the sky, then after a few seconds, you'll just suddenly fall.
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