I stumble as my foot sinks into a particularly deep snow bank. A cry is torn from my lips as I nearly fall again, only managing to stay upright by digging my stick into the earth and landing harshly on my wounded leg. I hiss in pain and pull my numb lib from the pit and trudge forward. Carefully I brush the snow from my eyes as I struggle to see where I’m going.

                I don’t know when the snow started, that seems to be yet another thing that happened that I can’t recall. However, it is falling harder and faster by the hour and with how dark it is I can barely see the next bend in front of me. I shiver as a particularly large snowflake lands on the back of my neck. My thin clothing is almost no protection and with one of my sleeves wrapped around my leg it’s only colder.

                A howl sounds from somewhere in the distance and I freeze. Wild animals are the last thing I need right now. I turn away from the sounds and pull myself through the snow. My teeth have almost given up chattering at this point and I have no idea how long I’ve been out here. Suddenly my head gives a painful throb and I drop to my knees grimacing in pain. With a groan I curl into myself and try to shut out the ache. I’m positive that I severely injured my head, but I’m too dizzy and cold to grasp exactly what the injury is.

                “Giving up already, kitten?” the voice in my head cackles. I moan and force myself to my feet, leaning all of my weight on the walking stick. With a determined expression I set my eyes forward and stagger on.

“Don’t…” I huff. “Write me off yet…”

______________________

I think I fainted. I lift my head from the snow to see a light dusting of snow covering my body. I lift myself up with shaking arms and pull myself to my feet. At least the storm seems to have eased up a bit. Running a numb hand through my cold hair I look around and rack my memory for how I got here. But I can’t remember. As I hold my head I hear a twig snap somewhere close by. A familiar wheezing touches my ears, bringing warm terror with it.

As silently as I can I start to crawl away, but the footsteps circle around to cut me off. Desperately I sneak backward. Agonizing seconds stretch by as I inch farther and farther away. Finally, I can’t hear him anymore. For a second I collapse against a tree and try to remember the basic functions of life.

Breathe, Joonmyun…breathe.

I shiver and force my eyes open. A tingling of fear runs through my core. I can’t fall asleep. Not here. Not out in the open. Not in the cold. I stand slowly and trudge on through the undergrowth. Minutes pass dully and I find my mind wandering with my strides.

I wonder where Exo is. If they’re following me, or if they could even figure out what happened…I shake my head gently. I can almost believe that they’re rushing to the rescue, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. After all, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve walked through a forest.

Alone.

Wishing they were here.

I sniffle, struggling to hold back tears that freeze on my cheeks. It is way too cold. My steps are getting more and more sluggish as my body starts to succumb to the snow. Exhaustion eats away at my limbs until I collapse into the snow breathing heavily.

“Come on Suho…get up.” I bare my teeth and shove my hand into the snow, pulling my body up a fraction. My left arm follows, then my knees until I’m hunched over. But as I force myself to my feet I can only manage another two steps before I fall again. I cry in desperation and push myself to my knees, trying to crawl.

But even that fails and I find myself kneeling in the snow with trembling arms and legs; my body shuddering with the inability to move and the freezing temperature. I close my eyes with a sigh and allow my head to slump forward.

I can’t go on anymore.

As I sit the snow stops and the nearly silent scuttles of wildlife surround me. I smirk in regret, realizing that there are so many things I didn’t say that I could have. The snow crunches lightly beside me and I turn to see a particularly adventurous squirrel staring at me.

“Hey little guy…” I whisper. “You lost too?” He chirps at me and hops a step closer, his nose twitching cutely. I snicker.

“Ah, look at me…talking to animals now? You really are insane, Kim Joonmyun.” The critter walks up to me, placing his sharp claws on my thigh and stares into my face. For the first time in months a strained smiles forces its way onto my lips. I chuckle quietly.

“Nobody would have believed this…” He twitches his tail and trills. I laugh and place a hand over my mouth as tears prick my eyes.

“I wish I hadn’t been so…I wish…” I take a deep breath and tilt my head back to look at the heavens. I feel a wave of disappointment that the galaxies above are hidden by clouds.

“Did you ever think,” I murmur to the little guy. “How depressing stars are? They provide the whole world with light and a beautiful display, but only after they die. And the funny thing is that nobody even notices them until they burn out…they just sit there staring at other broken things until the next one dies and explodes. They don’t even care to give it a nod while it’s alive. We only want them after they’ve been destroyed…it’s like we get our pleasure from watching them suffer.” I drop my head, a rumble running through my spine.

“And now here I am wishing that I could see them one more time…” The squirrel tilts his head and I give him a glance.

“Hey…would you mind telling somebody something for me?” I ask, my body slowly stopping its shuddering. I feel my mind going blank and I nearly topple over. The tiny animal crawls into my lap and curls up with a purr. My eyes start closing and my breathing gets shallower.

“Tell them…” I gulp. “Tell Exo…Joonmyun says he’s sorry.” My senses blur and suddenly there’s cold snow beneath my cheek. I sigh and watch the tiny red animal run away in terror, having been launched from his perch. A tear trickles down my cheek and I blink slowly.

“Saranghae, Exo…saranghae…”

I hear the crunching of snow behind me and close my eyes in acceptance.

Breathe, Joonmyun…

Breathe…

…breathe…

…breathe.

________________

*sobs* What is this that I have written?? I just can't! *sobs in a corner*

So...anyways...here's chapter twenty one. What do you guys think? I was planning to make it longer, but I could bring myself to...it just ended too perfectly. (I think.)

Well, I'm off to work on chapter twenty two, or the surprise...or most likely get dragged by my boyfriend into playing WOW. (It's not that I don't like video games, I love them. I just don't really feel like playing WOW right now.)

Also, just a heads up but the next couple chapters (probably not twenty two) will possibly be rated M. >.< Sorrryyyyy!!

Thank you so much for all your support, you guys! It makes me feel so happy and honestly I couldn't have done this whiout your help.

Alright! *points at the rest of Exo* You guys get ready! It's your turn next!

Bye guys! See you in the next chapter!

Cheers!