“Is it okay, if I kiss you?” you voiced, swallowing your fear.

Ravi stared at you, taken aback with your peculiar request. He let out a nervous laugh, pretended that he wasn’t surprised with your question. “What are you talking about? Jumi-ah, are you sure you’re alright?”

He placed his hand on your forehead, checking if you were sick or something. You pushed his hand away, frowning. “Forget what I just said,” you mumbled and turned away from him, ready to leave the lake but he stopped you. You felt his hand grabbing on your wrist.

“Wait…” Ravi spoke.

Your heart raced, feeling as if it wanted to pop out from your mouth. You bit your lower lips, flustered. Why would you asked something stupid when the whole atmosphere was nice and comforting. You guessed your cousin’s words really gotten into you. Why would you ask Ravi a kiss? He is your best friend; a kiss was just too much. Moreover, what if Ravi thought you were strange and decided to leave you? You couldn’t let that happen!

After all, what on Earth made you think Ravi would let you kiss him?

Why would he kiss you anyway?

Slowly, you let your feet walked to his direction. He pulled you closer to him until he could face you. Flustered than ever, you looked down, avoiding his gazes that felt as if it burning a hole into you.

“Jumi-ah,” he called after clearing his throat. There was vibration in his voice that made you wonder if he actually felt fluster too.

“Forget what I said, let’s get back. Grandma we’ll look for us,” you spoke as you lifted your chin to meet his eyes. His eyes gazing back at you, you noticed that look…

That look, he had given you that look…

He sighed out loud making you stared back at him, expecting something to come out his mouth.

“Did you ask for a kiss?” he asked. Your cheeks heated up to his words.

You shook your head, forcing a smile. “I just was testing you out. I never thought you’ll take it seriously.” You chuckled, “Why would you let me kiss you anyway? We’re not dating or anything.”

Smile slowly appeared on his face, “Yeah right, are you going to let us date if I really kiss you too?” he chuckled and you laughed along before you realised something. Your smile disappeared from your face in a second, “Ravi…”

He looked at you, “Right? I understand.”

You gazed back, pondering.

“Does Ravi have feelings for me?” you thought, trapped to your own game. You began the kiss game and now, Ravi caught you off guard.

He grabbed your right wrist and brought your hand to his chest, just right where his heart located inside. You felt his heartbeat raced just as yours, quickly your eyes searching his eyes to find out the reason of his heart beat crazily.

“Are you really not feeling anything?” he questioned.

You stared at him, wordlessly. Astonished…

Your mind couldn’t find the best words to represent to him. “What is this feeling?” you thought.

Slowly, he leaned forward to you. “May I?” he asked your permission.

Your heart fluttered to his voice, just like river flowing on its own, you let Ravi enter your heart. He leaned closer, closing the gap between you as you shut your eyes. Finally, feeling his lips on yours, a drop of tears decided to flow down your right cheek.

Your hand was still on his left chest, feeling every beat that paced faster than before. He didn’t force the kiss on you as you could felt his gentleness and his feelings through the kiss.

“My first kiss happens to be under the moonlight and… beside a lake…” you thought.

“This is beautiful…”

“Thank you, Ravi.”

---

Back to your grandparent house, it was the day that your mother, Ravi and you return home. Packing your things, you lifted your clothing bags to put it in your mother’s car. As soon as you wanted to leave the front door, Ravi blocked your way. “Give me that, I’ll carry it for you.”

Avoiding his gaze, “It’s okay, I can do it myself.”

Ravi noticed you keep avoiding his gaze after that night. He began to feel guilty; did he do the right thing? It was a good thing that you still wanted to response and talk to him but the way you kept avoiding looking him in the eyes made him felt… rejected.

Both of you didn’t say anything about that night, not even one of you dare to brought it out. Ravi eventually felt he had become the luckiest man in the world because he got to confess to you but he was still unsure of how you felt. He didn’t want to force you, if you couldn’t give your heart as he wanted, he surrendered. He was alright with it as long as you didn’t push him out of your life.

He still could become that man who could only watch his love from afar, as long as you stay beside him, safe and sound. He’d rather be your shadow, your only shadow.

He unblocked your way as you walked passed him, earning attention from your grandmother. Your grandmother walked to Ravi who was watching you leaving to the car. “Wonshik-ah, did something happen between you two? From what Grandma saw, Jumi doesn’t look comfortable around you. Anything happened?”

“Grandmother…” Ravi cooed. “Nothing happen. It’s only Grandmother’s feeling.” He then left to carry your mother’s belonging and your grandmother can only sigh to the sight.

---

You returned to your normal life, it was the first day you went to college after the wedding day. You stared at your reflection on the mirror. Ravi would greet you in any minutes. Nervousness took over you whenever Ravi’s name appeared in your mind.

“How do I look? Do I look okay? What if Ravi doesn’t like how I look?” you questioned yourself as you scanned yourself from head to toe.

From that night onward, you began to take care about your look. Suddenly you felt a lot of lacking to stand beside him. You never felt this way before and you avoided his gaze at every time you could. It was too awkward…

To kiss a best friend and acted like nothing happen, it was the hardest thing to do.

Now, he felt more than a friend. And you never prepared to do this, what should you do?

To say that you didn’t feel anything… was a lie.

Because you felt something when he placed your hand on his chest, you could feel that spark. A spark that you could never imagined even in your dream, the spark that only he could give to you.

“Jumi-ah, Ravi is waiting for you!” your mother yelled from outside your room. You exhaled deeply and smelt yourself, unsatisfied with the smell. You put on more perfume on you before you opened the door to the living room.

You saw him on the living room, his eyes met yours. He smiled as soon as he saw you making your heart raced. “You could do this,” you chanted in your mind.

“Have you eaten your breakfast?” Ravi questioned with a smile on his face, he looked happier making you wonder if his heart didn’t paced up like yours? Or was it just you that feeling like that?

You avoided his gaze, “I’ll get some at college. Let’s go.”

You walked ahead of him causing him to chasing after you, “Wait Jumi-ah.”

As soon as you heard his foot step became closer to you, you sped up your walk. Praying, he wouldn’t get any closer to you. “Jumi-ah, why do you walk so fast?” he panted behind you.

You decided to ignore him until he finally managed to halt you as he grabbed your arm. He appeared in front of you with a question mark on his face.

“Do you like what are you doing?” Ravi asked. You still stubbornly looking at the ground didn’t know what to say. You really wanted to get rid of your fear looking him in the eyes but now situation had changed, it wasn’t easy as you always do.

“Look at me,” he ordered as he caught your chin between his fingers and lifted it up to match your eyes with him. You took all the courage you could to stare him in the eyes, the feeling just exploded in your chest like firework.

“Is it that difficult to look at me?” he asked again.

Tears began to b on the edge of your eyes, noticing it Ravi softened. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You still didn’t say a word in front of him, wiping your eyes; you flashed him a quick smile. “Give me time…” you uttered.

Ravi stared at you, speechless. He nodded and watched you as you walk ahead of him.

“Give you time?” Ravi thought, finally nodding to himself. Solemnly, he accompanied you until you reached the college. His smile vanished since then causing Haeri to wonder what could happen between you two.

---

Just a class before college time ended, you sneaked into the female restroom to make a call. After successfully locking up yourself in the furthest cubicle, you sat on the cover of the toilet bowl. You pulled out your cell phone and found the number you searching for.

After some random dance your thumb did above the cell phone’s screen, you finally pressed the call icon and attached your ears to the phone, waited for someone to pick up your call.

“Oppa…” you called.

“I miss you, can’t we meet after I finish my class?” you smiled.

“Alright, see you.”

You brought the cell phone in front of you and sent a text message to Ravi, saying Ravi to not wait for you.

“Ravi-ah, you don’t have to pick me up. I go with Hakyeon oppa.” You typed, unsure of what you were writing. You didn’t know why your message sound like a threat to him but you hit the send button anyway, expected something you were unsure of to happen.

---

Hakyeon smiled ear to ear as soon as he laid his eyes on you. You beamed and entered his car, feeling slightly guilty. You didn’t know why you felt guilty after all. Was it related to Ravi?

His bright side was coming out again as he took your hand into his and his other hand on the steering wheel. “You know how I feel when you said you miss me?” Hakyeon questioned with his eyes on road. You stared on your hand in his, you wanted to pull it away but why it felt so wrong?

“I feel so happy that someone finally telling me that they miss me,” he took a glimpse of you. You flashed him another smile, “Really? Hasn’t someone said something like this to you before?”

“There are… but they sound fake,” he uttered sending sharp pain on your heart.

“But yours sound honest and true. It sounds comforting.”

You glanced at him as he threw you another smile, “I miss you too. Do you know that?”

Sighing inaudibly, you looked out the window. Not saying a word to response him.

“Of course you don’t. I haven’t told you,” he chuckled causing you to shut your eyes in pain. “Why does it feel so wrong?” you thought. You felt the vibration from your cell phone, pulling it out, you saw Ravi’s name as the caller id.

Hakyeon noticed you pulling out your phone and watched you from the corner of his eyes. You pondered as you stare on the screen before you finally swiped the red button.

“Why don’t you answer the call?” Hakyeon questioned, wondered.

“It’s nothing important.”

Hakyeon stared at you blankly for a moment before he looked at the road ahead of him. “What important now is spending time with Hakyeon oppa,” you faked a smile as you felt he squeezed your hand gently.

Again, you sighed inaudibly…

~~~

A/N: Ottokaji? ><

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