Hello, sorry for the slightly long wait! I think it was a slightly long wait? I hope this chapter is fine, I'm just trying to cover a lot of ground without having needlessly long chapters.

Thanks for commenting and subscribing and voting, it's great motivation for this very long story ♥

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August 2013

Their tour is at its end with the final stop in Singapore and the round of interviews preceding it.

The questions are made up of the usual inquires until the hosts ask them to talk about one thing they like and dislike about the member to their left. Daehyun lets his eyes wander to his side for a brief second, where Yongguk is.

He waits stiffly, eyes somewhere on the ground in front of him as Yongguk slowly answers.

“I like Daehyun for… his good looks, but lately…”

Of course.

He tunes the rest of it out.

Yongguk rarely had anything to say about him that didn’t have to do with his face or his singing and now, even after all they’d gone through, Daehyun still doesn’t know if there’s much else about him Yongguk really likes.

Perhaps there wasn’t. Maybe he had been right in what he’d feared, maybe Yongguk had decided Daehyun was too loud after all, too touchy, too brash for someone like him. Not worth the trouble of this sort of relationship or the endgame, not when there was little to admire but his appearance.

It wasn’t a stretch, really. It’s not as though Yongguk would speak about him the way he spoke about wanting to discuss things and have meaningful conversations with Youngjae, or how he spoke about Jongup making him laugh and brightening his day. Himchan is his best friend, his support, and confidant and Junhong his protégé who was truly the little brother he’d never had.

Daehyun was always just a pretty face and a nice voice.

He wonders if Yongguk had ever wanted more from him than that.

*          *          *

Yongguk’s not sure why he ever thought of Daehyun as innocent, but then again, he was probably the reason that the younger man no longer was.

Daehyun spends the entire duration of ‘My First Kiss’ rolling his hips and drawing Yongguk’s eyes towards the tempting lines of his waist. He’d been doing this the entire tour, of course, but Yongguk is sure he isn’t imagining the additional smirks sent his way and the brush of warm skin against his as they walk past each other. The subtle punishment is not lost on him as he remembers how he had lavished those areas with attention from his hands and mouth.

“Guk…”

Yongguk is too busy mouthing at Daehyun’s hipbones to reply, biting every so often to bring out more of the vocalist’s gasps and whimpers. Daehyun’s back arches when the elder bronze skin into his mouth, intent on leaving behind a reminder of his presence. He eyes the mark appreciatively and finishes it off with a kiss, eyes finding the young singer’s gaze and locking it in as he rises up.

Daehyun’s bites into his lip shyly, head tilted against the pillow.

“Why do you always do that?”

Yongguk is still amazed at Daehyun’s ability to look so innocent and curious, no matter the situation.

“Do what?”

Daehyun shrugs, “You know. Do you have some sort of hip I should know about?”

Yongguk laughs, “I can’t help it. Yours are just so pretty.”

Yongguk is snapped out of his memory when Junhong bumps into him backstage, eyes on his phone as he walks by. Yongguk half-heartedly scolds him, playfully shoving the maknae’s head but his eyes remain on the vocalist a few feet away.

They are preparing for their next set and Yongguk joins the singer at the accessory table, leaning in to choose a ring as the younger man adjusts his belt.

“You trying to punish me?” he asks.

A scoff.

Daehyun seems to deliberately lean into his space as he moves to pass him, filling the rapper’s head with his sweet scent.

“With all due respect, Yongguk-hyung, not everything is about you. But thanks for noticing.”

Yongguk’s eyes follow as the vocal walks away, the subtle sway of his hips flashing like a victory sign.

*          *          *

Yongguk’s stuck between a rock and a hard place.

He should be giving Daehyun his space, and he had been staying as far away as he could, but he’s worried of stepping back too much, of neglecting and making it harder for them to be as they were before Yongguk let his emotions get the better of him all those months ago.

In Detroit, there’s hardly any time to dwell on anything. They were only going to be in the city for a few days, just long enough to film the MV for their next single, and with so many extras and scenes to coordinate, this was no small feat.

“I’ll take the level with no banister,” he offers as they film in one of the many abandoned buildings.

“A very leader-like action,” Daehyun says off to the side, a touch of barely detectable sarcasm in his tone. The others don’t even seem to notice, half of their attention on the old building around them.

Yongguk elects to ignore it as he imparts a final word before the group begins to scatter, some to film others to explore.

“If something feels unsafe, let me know or tell the director, okay guys?”

Daehyun remains, fiddling with his phone as he leans against the wall, the only one who hadn’t given him a response. Yongguk walks over, voice low as staff bustles around them.

“Did you hear what I said? I don’t want any of you getting hurt.”

Daehyun finally lifts his eyes, “Yeah. Because you’re so good at stopping that from happening.”

The usual casual drawl is missing from Daehyun’s voice. It’s an unexpected jibe because Daehyun is a lot of things, but he’s never been accusatory or malicious, even when angry. He’s never set out to purposefully hurt someone. The younger man can be insensitive and unintentionally offensive sometimes, careless words that he doesn’t realize are cutting until it’s too late. But this is the first time Yongguk has seen him strike to wound, and he can feel himself bleeding. He wants to be angry, but he hasn't forgotten Himchan's revealation to him weeks ago. Daehyun's eyes aren't red-rimmed today, the normally soft gaze hard and heavily lined with black.

Daehyun grins, but something about it makes his canines seem sharper, the darkness around his eyes setting off the piercing quality in his gaze.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

September 2013

It’s difficult to ignore Daehyun while they shoot the Japanese video for Warrior.

It’s difficult to ignore Daehyun most of the time, but especially when he’s like this.

Daehyun’s hair is dyed a deep chocolate that’s nearly black, a colour close to the natural shade his locks had been when they’d first met, and free of the streaks from the previous promotion cycle. He’s good looking both done up and bare-faced, but the make-up does add a certain ethereal quality to his features; eyes outlined in dark smoky shades and skin is glowing. His lips have been dusted with foundation and are paler than they usually are, but no less distracting or plush.

He’s sitting near Yongguk now while the others are being held up by stylists and make-up artists getting them ready for the cameras. Yongguk resists standing up to walk away, doesn’t want to call attention to the tension between them. He can’t keep himself from eyeing Daehyun in his peripheral, though, because at the end of it all he is still human and Daehyun is still beautiful.

Daehyun notices. Of course he notices, Yongguk thinks. The boy is ridiculously attuned to eyes on him, especially Yongguk’s. If he weren’t on his way to becoming so shamefully aroused he would have been more upset at the way Daehyun is looking at him; a mixture of bitterness and coy invitation.

“Something you want, hyung?”

Yongguk looks away, determinedly staring at the phone in his hand and trying to ignore the presence beside him.

When he wants to be, Daehyun is like a shark. Not necesarily in a hostile manner, but he strikes when he smells blood and right now Yongguk is reeking of it. The vocalist stretches out on the sofa, lean legs in black pants and toned torso in a tank that shows off his arms, collarbone, and neck. Yongguk can’t un-hear the obscene little moan that comes from his side and despite the warnings in his head he turns to look. He wishes he hadn’t, but he’s also kind of pleased he did because the image is probably enough to last him through years of miserable, lonely nights.

Daehyun’s eyes are closed as he stretches out languidly and releases soft sighs every time his joints pull, the line of his throat strained as his head falls back. His tank has ridden up to reveal soft skin and the sharp ridge of a hipbone. Something about the teasing glimpse is more than seeing the singer fully , and Yongguk swallows audibly. The vocalist’s eyes flutter open then and he lets out a breathy laugh when he looks at him.

Yongguk’s gaze hardens at the slightly mocking tone in it, “What?”

“Hungry, hyung?”

The elder raises a brow, “Why?”

“You look it.”

*          *          *

They head back to the hotel after nearly a full day of shooting. Nearly everyone elects to order food and stay in, tired and bleary, except for Himchan and Youngjae who decide to really make the most of their stay in Tokyo and head out to eat with their stylists and one of their managers.

Yongguk says good night to the maknaes and is about to head into his room when a sudden impulse makes him turn around and follow Daehyun. The younger man doesn’t notice him, earphones in, and as he opens the door to his and Youngjae’s room, Yongguk slips in behind him.

When Daehyun turns around to shut the door, he sees Yongguk behind him tall and foreboding and he steps back. Yongguk calmly swings the door shut, locking it behind him and backs the smaller man further into the room.

Daehyun pulls the earphones out and sets down the mp3 player on the drawers before turning back to the elder.

“What are you playing at, Daehyun?”

Daehyun frowns and walks further into the room, drawing the curtains before tugging his tank up and off and tossing down by his open suitcase, crouching to pick up a change of clothes.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, hyung.”

“Don’t give me that. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

“Oh?” Daehyun walks towards him, glaring from beneath lined lashes, the hard lines of his jaw showing as his teeth clench before he continues, “And what am I doing?”

Yongguk’s hands come to press shaking palms into his eyes in frustration as he speaks, the scent of Daehyun driving him wild, “You know damn well, Daehyun.”

“Then…do you want me to stop?” The younger’s voice is a husky whisper that Yongguk feels against his neck and before he knows it Daehyun’s kissing him, desperate and nearly violently.

Daehyun bites his lip, and Yongguk growls in retaliation forcing his mind to stop falling into a daze. He gently shoves Daehyun away and the younger stumbles back, hitting the wall. They stare at each other for a second, breathing heavily. Daehyun breaks the tense silence first, almost rambling.

“There’s no point in this, right? That’s basically what you think. So there’s no point not doing this either. It doesn’t change anything. Unless you have someone better to do, hyung? Is there someone else you want?”

Yongguk brow furrows, “What? No, no, Dae, but I told you-”

“I don’t like you ignoring me,” the younger man interrupts, voice quiet and fleeting like he’s talking to himself and Yongguk just happens to be there to hear it.

“I’m not, I’m giving you space, this-”

“I can’t stand it,” Daehyun whispers, hands clenching into fists by his sides as he stares at the ground, “I hate it, and...and we can’t be together, fine. We can’t be together and we obviously can’t- I don’t want to go back to the way things were, so this, this is what we have.”

Yongguk feels his heart clench painfully.

He'd ed up even more royally than he'd thought, and that was saying something. This boy in front of him was so far removed from the Daehyun they knew, their own little ball of sunshine who rose with the dawn and wouldn't stop going until dusk. Looking at the singer now, frame crumpled against the wall, Yongguk realizes he'd greatly underestimated Daehyun's acting skills. 

He'd been naive. Daehyun had looked fine, had seemed relatively adjusted in front of him despite the incident in Hong Kong. He'd never leave Daehyun to his misery alone, knew Himchan and Youngjae were looking out for him, and Daehyun had seemed to heal. He'd laughed during radio shows, bright and loud as usual. He'd flirted and teased fans at the signings. He'd performed flawlessly during stages. At home, he'd played with the maknaes and stirred up trouble with Youngjae, and yet the entire time this person Yongguk is seeing now had been inside of him. 

Yongguk shakes his head, words tumbling out of him before he can stop them, “I should never have started this...”

Daehyun answers in a tiny whisper that leaves Yongguk devastated.

“I wish you hadn’t.”

The younger turns away then, heading to the bathroom and seconds later Yongguk hears the shower running.

He leaves.

Here is the interview referenced at the start of the chapter. 

Also, I obviously select the images used in the story based on how they fit the mood of the chapter, so while looking for one for this chapter, I couldn't use this adorable shot, and since I think you guys might want some cheering up at this point, I'm putting it here:

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Thanks for reading!